Heathers

Prom brings all of the surviving characters together one last time. JD and Veronica attend separately and fight over some philosophical differences. Heather Chandler tries to make prom about her. Betty Finn returns.

will finally be the thing that wakes people up

We want the tragedy.

We fucking live for it.

and spend their whole lives

You piece of shit.

Heather, there are more important things right now than your teenage bullshit.

that worships at the altar of Heather Chandler.

Just imagine what these green text messages are capable of.

Because that is what power is, Veronica.

I still think Heather Chandler's suicide was better.

JD.

Kurt, Ram gone.

Was that necessary?

Betty Finn.

I thought that this was about doing some good.

Great idea to put guns in schools, teachers.

Fuck it.

telling me what I'm supposed to think and feel and do.

Blah, blah, blah, corporations.

yeah.

I want to die.

-Excuse me! -Okay, now I'm feeling very violated

You guys are the adults.

-Go back to your condo. -Four!

And sometimes there's not just one lone wolf.

Actually...

Which is why I'm calling my new campaign, "I Am Mass Suicide."

As prom looms around the corner, JD and Veronica are moving in opposite directions. She is closer to her friends than she has been all year, while he is trying to use prom to keep Westerburg divided by pitting Heather Duke against Heather Chandler.

Oh, Heather.

-We have a chateau there. -Well, it's a little place.

For loving our son.

He was A, boring.

Hey.

-I'll be right back. -A lefty, I love that.

Because Heather Chandler just decided that prom is a tool of the patriarchy

We should be able to look super-hot if we want to.

are gonna look like two limp sausages dipped in wet crepe paper.

We have to protect them, but we also have to empower them.

Girls may wear their skirts two inches higher to prom.

I don't need to do anything but look good and watch you fail.

Teen Nietzsche is suddenly creaming his jeans over a school dance?

and that's when she'll excitedly tell me how she finally found a guy

What is this?

I'm sure Kurt's suicide was a devastating loss for you since...

Kurt's death will keep your ball in the air for a few weeks, maybe.

It's not like Heather Chandler where it's just another girl.

Did Trailer Parker teach you that bible quote?

Because of you, Veronica. I know how important it is to you.

It's so easy to confuse them.

Oberlin.

In every life, a little rain must fall.

-Go get my stuff. -Jade, listen to me.

Nine-one-one. Shelby Dunnstock has a French manicure on her toes

which means I need you to drive like your miserable life depends on it

I'm very popular and very white.

JD...

I had no choice.

In response to the spate of violence and unrest in their area, Westerburg decides to stage an "active shooter" training drill in which students are placed on lockdown while the drama teacher goes classroom-to-classroom spraying people with silly string.

"Still standing."

Veronica... prom is slavery.

God, it's just prom, JD.

What kind of snacks do they have?

the shooter will begin to go from classroom to classroom.

Great idea. But guess what?

Checkmate.

Veronica, do something!

So, honestly, let's just try to make it out alive,

We're friends.

-To a girls' night! -Oh, my God.

Of course, none of you are the type to shoot up a school.

You're high.

Do you think in a society that like, values fame above all else

-You know what I think, Heather? -What's that, Heather?

Because I choose not to.

with what other people think of you that you wouldn't be able to imagine

Well, maybe there was.

She could have stopped it.

wouldn't just wait until everybody was together, right?

Heather, listen to this.

-Plagiarist. -She's obsessed with us.

"I couldn't take it anymore.

-This is shocking. -I know. Lucy was rich.

-Maybe I am. -You're not gonna deny it?

She tried to kill me too.

I hear in Heaven you can eat as much as you want.

Or maybe no one did. Maybe everybody did.

JD thinks prom is slavery.

But why?

When will you accept that?

Three powerful, gorgeous, equal women.

Yes.

And we could do a water feature here in the center.

Ousted from power, Heather Chandler decides to swallow her pride and do the impossible: apologize. She spends time with the less-fortunate at Westerburg, and learns from an unexpected source that Heather Duke has a skeleton in his closet.

-She threw up all over Amita. -Oh, my God.

Well... I feel betrayed.

One best friend tried to kill me.

So, I guess that's why I'm here.

we are not a good person.

JD and I are too in love to do something as lame as marriage.

Oh, do you want to go to Gondalo's? Heather loved that place.

I'm sorry I called you a moldy potato-bug orgy.

You are sick.

-What day is it? -Friday?

I hope Heather M is looking down on you from heaven,

And I'm sorry for nicknaming you "Trailer Parker," which...

And I always appreciated how funny she was when she would humiliate me.

and, I don't know... like it, I guess?

and thank you, we know we don't look it.

Look who's over there with that bootleg Heather McNamara-looking thing.

I was thinking if there was more I could have done.

My prayer came true.

Poorer than you? And you still believe in God? Wow.

Rebecca, love is just an idea. A theory.

I just didn't really peg you as a liar, that's all.

You know what I love about you, Veronica?

who did this and bring them to justice.

Trailer... I mean, Brianna. I'll pay.

Honestly...

Maybe you should have given that speech to Heather McNamara.

-You're so good to me. -I just...

And she's not gonna remember any of this, I swear.

or hot or cool or interesting. No. I want real people.

Like digging wells for the poor in Guatemala!

Here, you want some cookies?

is a bitch.

knowing the Croquet Killer no longer haunts this mortal coil.

Conversion therapy. It just works.

Just you and me.

Veronica schools JD on how to be a proper boyfriend. Heather Duke and Heather Chandler spar over control of the hearts and minds of the Westerburg student body.

The world through JD's eyes. Betty and JD are interrogated by the police. JD is hounded with anonymous text messages tying him to his crimes.

And Betty, we've all seen JD's girlfriend.

Look at that, Betty. He's too shaken up to talk.

Our boys were at the scene. He got real banged up.

I just hope that Betty gets the help that she needs.

That is so...

promised some tribe peace in exchange for Little Feather,

...clearly the message of my musical, Teenage Suicide: Don't Do It,

Okay, well, I think we're good.

Juilliard is sending a scout to opening night.

And as I recall,

Love that you're leaning in, Heather,

as soon as Heather's human hospital smell of a father dies?

Have a seat.

I know.

Heather Chandler tried to use you as a prop,

Is Heather Duke showing concern for her friend?

Your eyes are so empty.

And then we had to get jobs, unlike you.

We had a deal, Heather!

JD, I would never darken my contacts with your phone number.

And so now he's left me no choice.

and I am certainly not here for some stupid guy.

Heather Chandler tries to double down on her suicide campaign only to have her brand tarnished; Betty Finn has some suspicions that link Veronica to an unsolved murder.

Come here!

but to quash the rise of any legitimate political rival?

Betty's. She invited me over for croquet.

You'd obviously serve your artichoke dip.

Or...

No man in a long white beard playing chess with people's stupid lives.

And then... global.

Don't you people see?

It looks so lost-and-found in this context.

which is why it's confusing to me

was to help people like Trailer.

because if it doesn't, I'm going to have to take a different approach.

Because it's ours.

I think Lizzy just got a shocking note with a dramatic revelation in it.

Did you hear? Ram killed himself to fulfill a suicide ultimatum

Your mother has a point. Heather, Heather, Ram.

Get over here and rub my shoulders while I vent.

And when you go to your dorm room, you're gonna strut down that hallway

Fine, you got me, Heather told me to say this stuff, but you know what?

Where Ram killed himself.

Little Betty Finn, putting up a fight.

And four years of track and field.

What are you doing?

Veronica, fed up with JD, goes on a double date with Heather Duke and two handsome football players; the school musical auditions commence and Heather Chandler meets unexpected competition.

as a reminder of the toll

Speaking of, you should double with Kurt and I.

Babe. Get in.

But don't pretend her funeral had anything to do with her.

I propose that we cancel classes for the entire week.

I don't know, Maurice. This seems like it could be in poor taste.

Art heals.

I need you there for perspective.

Wherever I go, you have to go with me.

I don't know, it's like one minute I can't breathe without him

-Okay. -Come on!

-It was perfect. -Good shot. I'm out.

So, tell me, JD, do you have a girl that's sweet on you?

And then on top of that, to hold a giant celebration

I was just going to ask if you were okay.

Well, tell them they can as soon as their son learns how to suck me off.

Good night, Kurt. God.

And do you know what Mrs. Sawyer told me?

So, everything is...

Good.

Yeah. And why would you be?

Oh, and Mom, Dad, this is Lizzy.

No offense. Lizzy, was it?

Heather Duke.

Oh, Lizzy, you have got to find your light.

And the world's alive

Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth

Heather Chandler blackmails JD and Veronica into doing her bidding; Heather Duke and Heather McNamara struggle to adapt to life in the new regime led by Betty Finn.

Maybe you should go home and get some rest.

I just needed to be with my best friend.

Landed face-first in my beautiful,

Whenever I want.

Maybe I can help.

I'm sorry, Heather.

A child who's obviously been taken advantage of by David.

It's called victim-shaming and it is textbook misogyny.

Well, Pauline, if you must know, I'm just here for the drama.

is appropriately devastated.

Be the bigger person. Invite Heather, Heather.

That deep-fried lobster baby.

She looks like if Jim Henson got in one last puppet before he died.

Crying, good. Crying, good.

Actually, you'll be doing most of the work.

the teacher you were sleeping with was fired,

-Nicely done. I think she felt seen. -Yeah, I looked right at her.

Pretzel?

you keep locked away from everyone else that would make me think

because we have truly mourned her so hard!

Ladies and gentlemen...

Whenever someone at Westerburg is in pain,

In the premiere, Veronica Sawyer, a seemingly normal teenager braving the politics of high school, struggles to make sense of her path in life and her connection to her "best friends," the Heathers.

What makes Veronica Veronica.

Look, just give me something so I can help you.

Veronica, Heather Chandler is looking for you.

-It's ironic, Heather. -We're not doing irony anymore.

-you're getting from Remington, Ram. -Yeah, Ram.

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

Do they? I'm white, I'm black, I'm pro-gun, I'm queer.

more of an all-around game where Steff Curry's just a shooter.

Look at that poor, poor dog.

will all know me as the girl who fat-shamed Heather Chandler.

there has always been a Snappy Snack Shack.

I know. Bunch of uptight trust fund kids standing around

We have cherry or blue flavor.

There is one thing the girl can't resist.

I gave her the wrong pills. These are German suicide pills.

A little creative editing,

Semantics, my dear.

Of course, I directed her in Our Town.

-Rail thin. -At least that's comforting.

My point is that we have an opportunity here

I know. They didn't even use a filter.

by someone who's actually a member of the LGBTQQIAP community.

JD is right.

I'll let you be blue.

Blame her not, for she was a victim

Well, a nobody.

Go ahead, stand up.

"Well, son, your presence here has been lovely as usual,

See?