Champions

Vince, Michael, Matthew and the rest of the Champions staff struggle to figure out why they're losing female members.

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Middle-aged ladies are our best customers.

#2

It's just a place where women sit on exercise equipment

#3

I used to get all my exercise

#4

In two months, I gained 100 pounds.

#5

to be a welcoming place to work out for men and women.

#6

What?

#7

I'm the same age. It's normal age.

#8

Uh, I am doing the math and your business model

#9

- That is so sexist. - Hey, I'm not sexist at all.

#10

from poaching our members by giving them

#11

- Thank you. - We are dropping everything

#12

So Dana, you've been asking for a raise for a couple weeks now.

#13

Excuse me? Name one thing about me that makes me look single.

#14

Okay? Because you're gonna be earning it by working more

#15

And you're gonna have to show me how to deduct that off my taxes.

#16

Why doesn't Champions have quotes on the walls?

#17

Oh, hi. So you must be the Champions boys.

#18

Okay, let's just ease into this with a little chit chat.

#19

Because you are four feet tall and about to get beat up.

#20

and you probably don't even mean to,

#21

Poaching? No, that's what I do in Africa

#22

Lady, we're very successful.

#23

at Champions a free one-month membership.

#24 #25

Britney! Ugly pervs is all we've got left.

#26

Yankee Candle, the return line at Kohl's,

#27

We go under cover to find out their secrets.

#28

we're about to take down the neighborhood safe space for women.

#29

It's Asher.

#30

I don't wanna pass judgment without knowing all the facts.

#31

- disenchanted with Champions? - Yes, I am

#32

there are no husbands.

#33 #34

Ohh! I knew I was forgetting something.

#35

- Great job, Ruby. - No! Terrible job.

#36

being obsessed about what the magazines told me to look like.

#37 #38

Massage train!

#39

But ever since

#40

Ruby was the heart and soul and pecs of this place.

#41 #42

Well, she was always texting me,

#43

And then I thought about losing you

#44

That's so great. Now Michael can be our accountant and we can fire Dana.

#45

that's not the floor of an all-male gym?

#46

I read that on an ad for chunky peanut butter.

#47

work harder on math, I hear, "I don't believe

#48

so that when baseball didn't work out,

#49

Oh, really? What was the last Judi Dench movie you've seen her in?

#50