Man With a Plan

Finale

It's how you kick things off.

trusting person, and Kelly is,

Like an angel's tears.

Boy, it sounds like people are having a lot of fun out there.

All right!

Rolling around town with a cute broad.

In our defense, we were trying to do it behind your back.

Look, I don't like confrontation,

I've never had a man so supportive and tender,

but I don't want to compete with you anymore.

We are a team, but-- I don't know--

I don't. She already told me.

I like it. She's classy like Lady Bird Johnson.

That's just another life lesson

You've never done that once in your life.

This is over. I am intervening on this intervention.

Adam, I believe Kelly's changed.

is that you always see the best in people,

Okay, I-if you're so wise, then what's my sister's motive

She wasn't completely rotten when we were kids.

which you know she's gonna do. She doesn't care about family.

Great, now I got you and Lowell to worry about.

Then do it for me because I'm your son.

I think you and I need to band together and get rid of Kelly.

She cares about my interests, Adam.

Yeah, and she calls me Don-Don.

We just keep running into each other.

What happened to Kel-Bell? You a bell or a bean?

My sister brought me flowers in a vase

Hey, you know who Adam reminds me of?

I have been going to our friends to enlist their support,

I mean, maybe she's just going to see our friends

And I love having my sister back.

February 11, huh?

Okay, this is a waste of time.

That intervention was a dirty trick.

Well, I don't want to talk about that.

Right, when you see evidence that you're wrong,

Uh, thanks for stopping by.

A-And as a peace offering,

Ah, o-okay.

Thank you.

when I sit across from you at Thanksgiving,

that you were the only one that wouldn't buy the new me.

Which is why I feel comfortable

Hummus isn't yogurt, you country bumpkin.

Adam recruits Marcy to put Andi’s snooty sister, Kelly in her place when she comes for a visit.

I went to the bathroom last night,

No. No, this is just our regular, typical breakfast.

I picked them up on my business trip last week to Tokyo.

We never get anything like this around here.

Okay? We go to Benihana.

I don't like this. She's getting to you.

Look, I make breakfast for you every morning.

when I'm surrounded by all my grandchildren

$7.99?

- Yeah. - When we were Andi's bridesmaids,

What I'm thinking is, if we make life unpleasant for Kelly,

I had to practice on Don.

What do you got there?

Ooh. A month, huh? Sounds serious.

I'm not blinded by her cookies.

put him on a StairMaster and wait for my payday.

- Hmm... - Hello, Kelly.

She sucker-punched me before the bell.

You know, sushi isn't the most popular food in Japan.

What's up with those two?

They fired you? What happened?

since nobody wants to come here.

The truth is I'm jealous of you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

You were supposed to stay on the high road with me.

- I'm not thanking you. - Well, I would like you to.

Now, when I hear her coming in,

What can you do? Shh.

Oh, well, hey, well, you know what I always say.

You don't want to say things and not do 'em.

What happened to the girl with the nice cookies?

It was amazing. She tore my pants off

for some one-night stand?

When Adam accidentally invites Andi to go on the guy's annual trip, he tries to un-invite her, which only makes matters worse.

because he only fishes topless.

I'm learning a lot.

How could I?

No. It's not.

and songs around the piano.

No, no, no.

I didn't say "fun." I just said "Lowell."

if you can't goof around a little?

Well, then, our only choice is to call the whole thing off.

You heard him. Quit talking about it and go do it.

That's it. Andi hates bears. I can use that.

before you run out of spray.

I hate leeches, too.

I can't wait to share that with you.

I'm gonna order the sheet music

Oh.

Oh.

No, they won't bring it up 'cause they'll feel bad

Damn, that's good.

He makes clip-clop noises when he moves the horse.

Dad says I say, "Thanks for saving the trip."

What's the occasion?

but Dad and Don said, "No wives on the trip."

I buy you bracelets.

How could I? I feel bad for them.

You keep it. Keep it! You keep it.

You guys put a lot of stock in a hat I got for free one night

Are you kidding me?!

and said we'd look better if you were the only bad one.

Everything!

Because I know if you hear "guys' trip,"

"Wife management."

and I just happened to find it.

Yeah, but I got to say, you told a lot of lies.

I put the trip ahead of you, and I'm sorry.

It was funny at the time, then funny right after,

because I thought it'd make you stronger,

Here, you should have this.

so I'm gonna ask you the same question I asked you

Listen, I know we're disappointed in our husbands,

Adam gets jealous when Teddy names Andi as his hero for a school essay.

Something about a hero.

And don't forget to dream.

We're talking about the pantry here.

It is tearing this family apart.

Come on, are you really gonna make this a thing?

it doesn't help me.

Afternoon, men.

We'll laugh about that on the boat.

and one of the things I'm best at is being humble.

and per your request, here it is,

The Adam Burns Golden Box of Childhood Accomplishments.

All right? Like, check this out.

Whoa.

My cow butt article didn't do anything.

When Teddy comes down, you act scared,

Maybe he's on the lid.

Wha...?

Hey, buddy.

What happened to my chair?

Mm-hmm. You know what I think happened?

- You let Teddy drive? - Wha...

I'm the dad, he should have picked me.

that music they play when Darth Vader walks in.

Oh, hon... well, I don't want you to feel like that.

All boys pick their dads as their heroes.

Wait, this is on a 2002 calendar.

who always takes the time to make me feel special.

I can't believe I didn't pick my dad.

No, no, I just wanted to apologize for something.

No, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Oh, so you want to talk about feelings.

Kids are... what's a nice word for it? Dumb.

My job as a father was to make sure that when you went

Yeah. I tell him what he's doing wrong,

wh-why do you take Don fishing and not me?

But if you want, we can talk about how much I love you, son.

After Adam throws out his back on his 50th birthday, he is still determined to take a dirt bike excursion and check it off his bucket list. Also, Don and Adam give out bonuses at work and everyone tries to figure out how to spend them.

Doing what? What's the Devil's Tailpipe?

And he hasn't been on a dirt bike in years.

Look, Adam, you know that, as you've aged,

A day will come when all your husband wants to do

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Whoo. Whoo!

You're supposed to feel worse, and then it gets better.

Okay, now you're gonna have to trust me on this.

And your mocking names only make me want to go more.

Pick it up.

Nice work.

But I'll be fine in a couple of days.

You cannot ride the "Make Me Raise Our Kids Alone" Trail.

climbing ladders, lifting stuff, you know.

If I had done that, I could play you a sad song right now

Well, y-you got to go with the pig.

(GROANS)

I've been diagnosed with excessive oldness.

What about me doesn't seem fine?

I am if you round up.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

There's a twist I did not see coming.

Ah, Joe, there you are.

in front of your gal pals like a show pony.

(GASPS) Why, it's the stretching exercises the doctor gave you.

- Hey, how about this? - Hmm.

Adam, I want you to go on this motorcycle trip.

I mean, usually, if I just stop moving,

And I'm gonna start doing those exercises.

♪ To fight the rising odds? ♪

♪ He's got to be sure, and it's got to be soon ♪

- Hey. - Hey.

I'm riding the Devil's Tailpipe, baby.

Yo. Ready to ride?

- Let's do this. - Yeah.

- And then you crashed? - No, there was no crash!

I want to forget the bike trip and never talk about it again.

No, no, no, it's okay. You rest.

That-that muscle rub is a miracle.

I haven't been on a dirt bike in a long time,

Adam offers to eat a vegan diet with Kate in an effort to bond with her, but his love of meat proves a hard habit to break.

We can put the ribs in Emme's old car seat.

You know, we almost didn't find Frank's Barbecue.

Because I want you to eat them.

You didn't build this house.

I eat food you have to hunt.

you'd agree with me.

Thanks, but I'm okay.

Like, like, I do when Teddy tells me about his video games.

it means a lot that you'll watch this with me.

And why'd they name the chickens after famous people?

- What? - I mean it, Katie.

That's the other thing. I'm not faking.

I couldn't. The movie was too powerful.

- Oh. Wow. - Yeah.

Don't you remember when you promised

So here's what we've prepared for your first vegan experience.

Yeah, all the fun of cashews, but in a paste.

Yeah, and we had a vegan breakfast.

I ate poison and my body rejected it.

are you a vegan or an American?

- in the trash. - I'm proud of you, honey.

In the service, they called me The Raccoon.

I'm not going too fancy.

It's all covered with lint

And now it's too late.

I'm not gonna tell Katie

to record Emme's recital.

I'm getting as many as I can.

Yeah, that's right, full-blown vegan.

I saved the gizzards for Andi Patties.

I finally get picked for Frank's barbecue and I can't have it.

Well, if you want them, go get them yourself.

You guys have a weird marriage.

Oh, he was having vegan problems,

Where is he?

for eating a hairy, backpack Slim Jim?

- He's not doing that to my ribs. - Let's go.

and Veal Patrick Harris.

I smell it. The meat is near.

Adam and Andi are eager to book a night away in a hotel after Teddy keeps sleeping in their bed. Also, Kate is allowed to stay home alone; but she doesn't follow Adam and Andi's strict rules.

Well, my guess is you're overthinking things.

No kids, a little romance.

How come you never ask me or Marcy to watch the kids?

And since Dad just called them "little beer grabbers,"

by your loving husband to a hotel room

I have a gift card.

you were in the glass elevator naked,

Just like when a restaurant reopens

So, your dad and I have to go away for a night.

to stay home by myself for one night.

She's got our DNA.

She's having a tough time at school, all right?

To win this Kate thing, or hotel sex?

Would it be okay if I invited Shelby and Winslow over?

You invite someone over, they invite more people.

go ahead and have those girls over.

Let's just be ourselves.

It's a hotel room. They all have that floor plan.

That's where all the blood will be.

I-I can't do it, I'm sorry.

Okay, yeah, that...

Okay. Hey, Katie, we're very tired,

We don't even need to know what anybody said

if I check the trash outside for evidence, huh?

so we'll never see him again.

But I didn't drink anything.

Well, I guess the streak is over, honey.

You went behind my back

I explicitly said Katie couldn't have anybody over.

I never told Kate to have a party.

You know that's the Olympic event

See you at the Olympics.

I can always tell when a wife's mad.

Your daughter-in-law organized a teenage orgy in our pantry.

in the fridge when we got home than when we left.

Was it Sal? Or Daryl? That seems like something he would do.

- when she took you... - Don't you finish that sentence, Joe.

You had a perm?

Adam and Andi go to great lengths to secure a loan to fix an unexpected issue on their flip house. Also, Joe is enjoying hanging out with his nurse, Funches, and wants to find a way to get him to stay with him longer than planned.

No, you can tell your story after I tell mine.

Isn't his homecare nurse helping?

What were we doing before she came in?

The trouble is, you're at your loan limit.

Oh. Yeah, you're right.

No.

That loan guy

Thanks for waiting.

He's getting a calculator. All right, be cool, Lowell.

And dedicated.

The queen's in the audience.

Uh, sorry to bother you, Dad. We need to borrow one of your ties.

Oh, not good.

That's amazing. So far, all we got is noes.

Oh. Well, we are a very pro-vibe company.

I'd invite you, too, but, uh,

so I'll just say it in my head.

all he'll hear is that I'm going out with another guy.

and Adam was in a bad mood the whole night.

Just tell him, uh, I went to the mall or something.

Don't.

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Yeah, Andi wasn't here. Where is Andi?

I'm sure it's a very nice lady.

it's a date.

I'm afraid to take Andi there

It's one of her worst traits.

Your problem is you are not sensitive, like me.

I will pick my teeth with you.

Well, this is definitely a first.

But if your knee is healed, you don't need him anymore.

I know all about it. I'm here to break it up.

Okay, Marcy, I cannot let my wife

I don't know, it looks pretty romantic over there.

Okay, you have two minutes.

Ghoul is another word for ghost.

This is not a business dinner. This is a date.

I can't have dinner with a business associate?

I think I can clear this up.

When Adam catches Kate sneaking back into the house at night, he is determined to fix the behavior with old-school parenting tactics. Also, Andi is dismayed when she can't find many baby pictures of Emme.

Okay? We coddle our kids

No. She got screamed at by an angry, old Romanian.

that I have been holding in for a long time.

And those cave kids were so well-rested,

I know we agreed to let Kate cry it out,

Well, I don't want our kids sneaking out.

and angry Romanians, you made a good point.

Oh, you-you have my word.

because your old babysitter stole them.

So, for your school project,

Welcome to the old school.

Why do we have so many doors?

Oh, that's it?

That's smarter.

I'm not reasonable.

as the cord will reach.

Adam said he needed it.

I know this is annoying, but it is all gonna pay off.

Good. By the way,

And then I'll say,

But you're so good at it.

I have been making her life miserable

What? What? You don't get it.

We believed in fresh air for kids.

Are-are you sad 'cause your dad didn't know if you had a door?

I can't believe this. I'm so modern,

I didn't know what was gonna happen next.

Oh, I like it. I can really get behind that,

How do you feel about that?

Cool. I'm going to a concert Thursday night.

when you're too tired

He does not deserve the title of "ninja warrior."

Lady Gaga would say she was just born that way.

You do what you need to do. I want no part of it.

Ah.

You knew what they were, and you knew what their problem was.

Life is a son of a gun!

Way to find a loophole, baby!

Lowell?!

Screw it. Let's go get our girl.

Adam and the guys visit Lowell at his new bachelor pad and start using it as a hangout to get away from their home lives for a bit. Also, Andi keeps pushing Adam to finally give her her own desk at the office.

last week you promised Teddy you'd build him a solar system.

But shouldn't you do this one? I mean, last night

so I will create the universe.

- Heh. That sounds like a night, huh? - Hmm.

You could do whatever you want.

Hey, Don. Don's here.

Now we just need something to do... besides talking.

Okay, if you get the ball in the hole from here,

Nothin' but hole.

Gentlemen, I think we just invented a sport.

Teddy, you've been doing that all night.

I should get going and help with Teddy's project.

Well, I would, because I am at the peak of my athletic ability,

What?

I just have to figure out a way to work it with Andi.

It is no fun over there,

- The hell with him. - Oh, no, no.

When will I ever get a minute for myself?

Uh-huh. L-Let's keep thinking.

But you should know I sharpened a carrot in here earlier,

so I guess I'll go do it in the shovel of the bulldozer.

When you're not there, Don cheats.

Oh, Lowell won't mind. Right, Lowell?

For tonight's match, I created a signature cocktail

You don't get on ESPN without a name.

Oh, then we can call my signature drink

Oh, right, right. Okay.

but the subject matter's quite disturbing.

going on over here, so I told your mother that my nurse, uh...

No.

We're at match point.

Even on one leg, the old man smoked you.

Ooh, it's Andi. Uh, everybody shush.

Friday was his and Jen's movie night,

Well, he's terrible at this.

Ooh. All right.

What? No. I love the stuff around here.

Yeah. It's starting to come together now,

and the kids never turn off a light.

When Adam sees a kid push Emme, he convinces Teddy to dish out some old-school justice to defend his younger sister, to Andi's dismay. Also, Adam and Don persuade Joe to hire a nurse to help out after his upcoming knee surgery.

and I can't get him to listen to reason.

Oh, Ma.

'Cause you're a good boy, Donny.

Well, buddy, you just had your turn,

Mom is not here.

and see who can keep this secret the longest.

just like Dad told me to. Right, Dad?

There is no difference between moms and dads.

I think I did society a favor.

My point stands.

Your résumé looks good.

Hey.

so no bellyaching.

Well, the simplicity is what made it perfect.

Wait, so you agree with me?

Kapowie! Hmm?

Well, the occasion is everybody agrees with me

I hate to say it, but this all comes back

What?!

Well, the future is gonna be me telling you, "I told you so."

Told you so.

We are all against bullying here, I... I hope.

and let him do his thing.

Well, y...

how to explain that obviously...

I think things are looking up for both of us.

And I'm the...

It feels so good to be right.

Okay?

That is the code that we live by, hmm?

So, it's detention at school,

You have a girlfriend?

Hey, you did your part, too.

Oh, Don, I hate seeing you like this.

I don't want to deal with this.

about you hiring Funchy.

When Adam and Andi have a disagreement at the office, they must find a way to solve it so it doesn't become a problem at home. Also, the kids try to extend Lowell's stay at their house after realizing he's an amazing cook.

But at work, tie goes to the boss, so the answer's no.

Okay. You know what? I'm a professional.

You and Andi are creating a hostile work environment.

But women are stronger than us. They don't give up.

I said no to her 20 times, but she asked me 21 times,

I'm gonna have to say no to her all the time.

She'll rip my arms off.

I can't sleep when we're fighting.

Ugh, I've been all over town trying to find a cheaper tile

they say the best gift you give yourself

But you know, I'd just keep explaining how what I wanted

I mean, sometimes I catch him staring at it,

You're making this way too complicated.

So,

Well, if you're talking about the flip house,

You are a good person.

I wish I could've been there to see it.

and the "maybe" meant, "only if I thought it was a good idea,"

No, you said, "Yeah, maybe."

Now I have to tell Andi no when she thinks I told her yes.

I don't see that happening.

We're partners.

Wait a minute, that does work!

And as such, I'm saying no to that Peruvian tile.

Okay, you're the boss, but, uh, can I ask you something?

Oh, it's got nothing to do with my tone, okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

so raise your hand if you think Adam

Like the tricycle painting you didn't want and now you love.

But I convinced you I was right.

"Uh, did your grandfather invent the tricycle?

Yeah. I still hate it.

Let's make a fancy backsplash out of that painting.

All right.

That's a good opening line, I'm listening.

Adam attempts to make the office feel more inviting since Andi will be joining him at work every day. Also, Lowell has been hiding a life-changing secret.

Give it time.

Well, we love you guys. Have a great day at school.

Oh. Oh, I took that down because I got tired

You can't just make up words.

Then great. I'm gonna put my calendar back up.

Hey, Donny's Angels are Donny's business.

To be honest, when I hear you say it,

If I was worried about anything, it's that...

Okay? Otherwise, you open up a whole can of worms

and I won't ask why he likes it.

Mrs. Claus does not hold a wrench like that.

H... These are not shallow questions, honey.

Okay, that thing I just agreed to?

The fish of truth.

I told you there'd be trouble on day one.

Share your feelings with him and then report back to me.

When the NASA guys were boozing it up in mission control

Another piece of space history for you.

You're so tense, maybe you need an apple juice or something.

Adam. How'd you find me?

Oh. Well, everything's great.

The glitch being she chases me away when I go near our house.

That's good. Great.

You don't even have a TV.

But it's three feet long.

So Lowell's staying with us?

And now, thanks to you, I got a giant sad kid on my couch,

that he's giving Jen some space

Do you think "roll in the hay" comes

It's a real one.

I want her back because she's my...

I think she did it just to make me duck-walk

I just... I don't know what.

and she changed the locks on our house.

- Yeah, a mean surprise. - Yeah.

Oh. Okay. Let go. Let go!

Shh.

you two separated and to keep an eye out for you, so, let's go.

That's not payback!