Aired 23 years ago - May 16, 1996
Rachel agrees to be maid of honor at her ex-fiancé's wedding, but a fashion faux pas focuses attention away from the bride. To get a role in Warren Beatty's new movie, Joey needs to practice kissing...guys. Monica ponders her future with Richard and Chandler falls for a mystery woman on the Internet...who turns out to be Janice!
Aired 23 years ago - May 09, 1996
Phoebe catches chicken pox just as her old flame Ryan arrives in town on leave from the Navy. Even though he hasn't yet had chicken pox, he can't stand to be apart and they both spend the rest of the time trying to not scratch. Joey gets a job at
Chandler's office but decides to play it as a role. The character he creates, Joseph, has a wife and kids and ultimately blames Chandler for his own screwup. Monica is upset that Richard doesn't have a "thing": an unexplainable quirk. He eventually comes up with one to ease her mind.
What are you doing?
You're pretty much
running that risk either way.
They should be facing up, not down...
Wow. Well, then, come on.
And as for people realizing you don't know
what you're doing, hey, you're an actor.
You look fabulous, honey. You really do.
- Why aren't you at home in bed?
- My grandmother's never had chicken pox.
Yeah, or, you know, you could
just wish that I didn't have them now.
This, ahem, is me.
I tell you, I had the most amazing
two weeks planned for us.
...of itchy spots stand between us.
Pretty good. It's like you said.
Yeah. Small world, huh? Ha, ha.
Joseph the processing guy...
Yeah, yeah. You know, Joseph and his wife,
Karen, are thinking of having a third kid.
Come to Mama.
Just getting ready to roll the dice.
We can't scratch. You know we can't.
- Oh, God, help me.
Aah! Stop that. Stop that right now.
Oh, I better get back.
Hope the baby feels better.
So we're not gonna see
the report until next Friday?
If you wanna see some rough numbers,
I can get them to you by Wednesday.
Well, I'm going to kill you.
...he'll call you on it.
God, I love that I can be
totally neurotic around you now.
- No, you don't understand.
- No, come on.
...from my dress socks.
My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
- Anyway, I just thought you should know.
- All right. That's it.
Okay, I think he's a brown-nosing suck-up.
Yeah, the rogue processor who seduces
his coworkers' wives for sport...
No, sorry, hon. Monica's orders.
Oh, look, look.
I must tell you,
you look beautiful tonight.
- Oh, yes.
Monica, wake up.
No, honey. You have to sleep
on this side of the bed...
- All right, go on.
Aired 23 years ago - May 02, 1996
The gang plans a surprise party for Rachel, but the real surprise is when both of her estranged parents show up for the same party. "Think!" urges Chandler. "What would Jack and Chrissy do?" Why, split it into two parties, of course -- one for each parent. But complications inevitably ensue.
Aired 23 years ago - Apr 25, 1996
Chandler and Ross run into two bullies at the coffee shop; one of whom steals Chandler's hat. After trying to avoid them, the guys confront the bullies and are ready to fight. When a thief steals their stuff, the bullies join Ross and Chandler in
trying to get it back. Monica, down to her last few dollars of savings, plays the stock market based solely on the ticker symbols. After she loses it all she's forced to take a job at a 50s theme restaurant where she'll have to dance and wear "flame retardant boobs." Phoebe makes multiple attempts to go visit her birth father and when she finally does, she finds out he's no longer there. She does meet her half-brother, though.
Aired 23 years ago - Apr 04, 1996
Phoebe's world view is shattered when she learns how "Old Yeller" really ends. Monica becomes jealous when Richard begins going out with other people, namely Joey and Chandler. And Rachel becomes upset when she learns that Ross has planned their whole life together.
Aired 23 years ago - Mar 28, 1996
Creeped out by his bizarre new roommate, Chandler demands he move out. Eddie agrees...but doesn't go. Joey has trouble coming to grips with the death of Dr. Drake Ramoray and the accompanying change in his lifestyle. And a new book on employment for women inspires the female friends to have a "goddess meeting."
Aired 23 years ago - Mar 21, 1996
Joey finds out the hard way that it's not wise to boast false things: His soap opera character gets dropped down an elevator shaft. Phoebe helps Chandler bond with his new roommate...much to Chandler's horror. And sexual history dominates the discussion between two couples--Monica and Richard, and Ross and Rachel.
So you, uh, think that Speed Racer guy
gets a lot of tickets or?
It's not Sean Penn.
...ripped out my heart
and smeared it all over my life!
Thank you, Pheebs.
That's very sweet.
I'm gonna go. Bye.
I see what you did there.
This makes me look good,
which makes the show look good...
Uh, I don't know.
I just bring the scripts.
If you consider how many guys
there actually are...
- Two? Two? Heh.
Okay, time for bed.
I'm gonna brush my teeth.
Oh, honey, are you jealous of Paolo?
Okay, you know, that sounded
so much better in my head.
Would you look at what I'm doing?
Don't you have a lot
of wild oats to sow?
Not even, like...
- Oh, hi.
So is, um... So was your mustache...
Did it used to be different?
- What do you call that?
- A mustache comb.
No, you've got it totally the other way
around, my friend. Jon Voight...
Uh, in the future, if I could see
the schedule beforehand...
He's on the show,
he knows what happens.
- First the medical award, now this?
- Did they just kill off Joey?
Well, maybe they could find
a way to bring you back.
Aired 23 years ago - Feb 22, 1996
Phoebe is discovered by a record producer who wants to make "Smelly Cat" a video. Ross's new relationship with Rachel makes Monica feel like she's living with her brother again...and she hates it. And Joey considers moving back in with Chandler, but Chandler has a new roommate.
Promise you won't freak out
and say how great this is until I'm done.
And she wants to do a video.
That's unbelievable. Oh.
You have no hair.
Get out, you doofus!
How's the apartment doing?
Was that the oven timer?
How could anyone
not love Yasmine Bleeth?
Run, Yasmine. Run like the wind.
Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler
about moving back?
It was like when we first
started living together.
No, you're just gonna have to accept
the fact that you're just friends now.
Smelly, smelly, smelly
- Like at an aquarium, you know?
- All right.
- I was.
- Oh, I...
Well, she'll call back.
Don't be such a baby.
That's my sister's boyfriend.
It's funny you should mention that
because I was thinking...
- How you doing?
We got to talking. And, uh, he needed
a place, and I had a spare room.
Now, okay, I haven't seen it yet,
so if you don't like it...
It's not your fault
This is so cool.
Now I can hear what you hear.
- Where's the mail?
- Oh, it's, uh, over there on the table.
Hey, this isn't about juice anymore,
all right, man?
What's the difference?
Your eggs aren't here anymore.
- Quit it.
- Bite me!
...because you kids
are driving me crazy!
Mon, you've gone ultrasonic
again, all right?
I hated you when we were kids.
...and you teased me
and you always got your way.
...for someone else to sing for me.
That was my first clue.
I have a video. Pay attention.
Aired 23 years ago - Feb 15, 1996
After having a fight with Chandler, Joey decides to move out. Rachel and Phoebe decide to get tattoos. And on his birthday, Mr. Geller receives the unsettling news that his best friend, Richard, and his daughter, Monica, are dating.
Aired 23 years ago - Feb 08, 1996
Joey buys a big screen TV and two leather recliners with his newfound money. He and Chandler then spend a day refusing to leave the chairs. They even have food delivered to the girls apartment so they don't have to answer the door. Monica has a
catering job for a friend of her parents, the attractive Dr. Burke. She ends up kissing him the next day at an un-needed eye exam and though there is a 21-year age difference between them, they begin dating. Ross and Rachel attempt to have their first real date, but Rachel laughs every time they kiss. When they try again the next evening, they are interrupted when Ross is called into the museum. It's too late to go to the restaurant so they have a picnic in the planetarium and end up waking up the next day naked in the display area with a group of Catholic school children looking in.
- What's tonight?
- It is our first official date.
- Yes, but my mom got me this job.
- I can be a waitress!
This is Phoebe.
She'll be helping me.
...with a sympathetic head tilt.
"How you doing? You okay?"
Of course, the divorce only left me
with four CDs to change.
Ring 20. Geller/Green.
I'm not saying it was a bad movie.
I'm just saying it was a little...
I'm good. I won't laugh anymore.
Put your hands back there.
Oh, come on!
Would you just grab my ass?
...is protected by the Miracle Wax.
That was 14 hours ago.
- Hi, you guys.
No. You know,
there's no need to make it up... How?
I'm going to look into your eyes now.
Now look at me.
Drops. Here, they're free.
We just wanted to stop by
and, uh, say good night.
Stop sending food to our apartment!
So promise you won't get
big-brothery and judgmental.
Well, for your information...
When I was, um, 7, I crashed my bike
right out in front of his house...
Well, maybe he was nervous.
I'm sorry this is taking so long.
- I thought she just had one.
- No, no. Henry's almost 2.
I didn't need to know that.
- So maybe we should just...
No, there's no rush or anything.
It's late. Everything will be closed.
We'll do it another night.
Aired 23 years ago - Feb 01, 1996
After getting his big break, with Days of Our Lives, Joey pays Chandler back with $812 and an extremely tacky bracelet. Also, an unemployed Monica is hard up for money. And Monica and Rachel's prom video reveals Monica's former girth, Rachel's
former nose and the way Ross has always felt about Rachel. This video brings Rachel to forgive Ross for the list.
A salad? I could do
something more complicated.
Don't. I like it dirty.
You sure they're not very, very bad?
A guy she met at the movies.
...and we should get
some kind of message service.
You know what? You can actually
see old lobster couples...
Do you have other possibilities?
Might as well
make some money off of them.
No, no. It's not flashy.
Not for a goodfella.
...but your brother had so many
science trophies, plaques, merit badges...
They've been unhappy
ever since we've known them.
That was really good.
I think I'm ready for my penis now.
But no! He got me
the "woman repeller"!
Hey, man! We were just
doing some impressions.
I don't know. A couple of minutes.
We'll get a condo...
Oh, my God, is this the wrong day?
- I was saving you.
...they get with the...
They walk around holding the claws.
Ross, there is no "us," okay?
We are never gonna happen, okay?
You're getting good at that
Marcel Marceau thing.
...say how much
our friendship means to me?
Hard to argue with that.
You know what the...
You're gonna grab yourself again,
He's at Carol and Susan's today.
- Where have you been?
- Emotional hell.
...I'm no longer at my job.
I had to leave it.
So she dips into her savings.
That's what it's there for.
Get out of the bitter barn
and play in the hay.
Guess what Gunther found?
How come you have two?
Is this friendship?
I think so!
You get your money
and you learn something.
That's my bathing suit from high school.
I was a little bigger then.
They had to reduce it
because of my deviated septum.
Wait. How do you zoom out?
So how many cameras
are actually on you?
Oh, Dad, turn it off!
Aired 23 years ago - Jan 28, 1996
Rachel and Monica compete for the affections of Jean-Claude Van Damme after meeting him on a movie set. Chandler meets a former schoolmate, a makeup artist, who seems to have the hots for him. An excited Joey gets a role as an extra in the movie and Ross and Marcel go on a whirlwind tour of the city.
You pulled up my skirt and the
entire auditorium saw my underpants?
Go tell him he's cute.
What's the worst that could happen?
But, um, my friend over there...
We're getting off the track.
Um, I was supposed to tell you...
- Oh, that's me. I gotta go.
I'll be there.
- So, what'd he say?
...and asking, asking, asking...
- Anybody need anything?
- Oh, I'll have an espresso.
Marcel's trainer will let me
have him for a couple of hours.
Like when you're cooking a steak.
I was thinking
it would be, um, kind of sexy...
- Candle. Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
No, I understand.
A monkey's gotta work.
Okay. Rachel, why don't you
start talking first?
Monica, if there's something
you'd like to share...
Well, you wouldn't let me
finish and I was...
Ow, ow, ow.
Oh, that's what you want?
That's an exciting job.
You must have a ton of responsibilities...
Because I went to an all-boys high school,
and God is making up for it?
- Meet me in the bathroom.
Come on, hurry!
...you lifted. Kids laughing!
...and now I'm on a date
with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
No! I'm not gonna!
You wanna play? Okay, let's play.
Yeah? At least I wasn't too chicken
to tell some guy he was cute.
This is crazy!
I'm sorry I went out with him
when I knew you liked him.
Wow. Talk about your bad luck!
All right, all right!
Oh. I'm getting heat from the guy
in the hot-pink thong.
Aired 23 years ago - Jan 28, 1996
Ross goes to visit Marcel while on a trip to California, and finds that the monkey is working in commercials. Joey gets his first fan letter and ends up dating the woman, who turns out to be a stalker who thinks that the happenings on Days of Our
Lives are real. Phoebe is asked to sing for the children at the library, but their parents are horrified by her lyrics.
There's this paleontology
conference in L.A.
Okay, so everyone, ahem...
I don't know anything about music,
but I think you're really great.
...hear me play the songs
that I will write for them.
...she won't know me,
because we never met!
Uh, this is it.
This is how we're gonna die.
Ah. I'm afraid I have some bad news.
I'm sorry, Mr. Geller.
But you know, there's an old saying:
Look, I know this can't
bring him back...
Oh, no, no.
She's a total wack job.
Does she not deserve happiness?
Does she not deserve love?
...I'm gonna play, um, some songs
about grandparents, okay?
Now your mom and your dad said
She moved to Peru
- Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing?
- Yeah, it is.
...that operation takes over 10 hours,
but they only showed it for two minutes.
Otherwise my watch would fall off.
- All right. Ha, ha. Just one.
Meet me in the nocturnal
house in 15 minutes.
Just to make them like you
Not at all inappropriate!
Sightless specter of the macabre.
Well, when I say "street," I mean those
little pretend streets here at the zoo.
So, what is this information
worth to you, my friend?
Check it out. He actually is
the Monkeyshine monkey.
You're the only one who can save her, Drake!
Rachel, it's a world
where Joey is a neurosurgeon.
- Is she here, huh, huh?
I should have told you
a long time ago...
That's right. He's not Drake. He's...
He's the guy for you.
...about some of the stuff in your songs.
- I can't believe it!
like, purple dinosaur?
Aired 23 years ago - Jan 18, 1996
Ross's ex and her lesbian lover tie the knot, providing Monica with a job: catering the wedding. Phoebe is possessed by the spirit of an eighty-two year old massage client who dies in the middle of a session. Mrs. Adelman cannot depart until she's
"seen everything" (needless to say, her spirit departs after the lesbian wedding). And Rachel's mom comes to visit and drops a bombshell: she's getting divorced from Rachel's dad.
If you wanna call that a reason.
If she were marrying a guy,
you wouldn't expect me to go.
She taught me about
how to work with the cameras...
...you take this big pause
where you look all intense.
I'm afraid the situation
is much more dire than we'd expected.
"Damn it, Braverman!
It's right there on the chart!"
Is everything okay?
...and her name was, um,
Oh, but the weirdest thing was...
I had the half-drunk cappuccino
with the lipstick on the rim.
...tell her story about Rod Steiger
for the hundredth time.
There she is!
Here, meet my friends.
This is just so exciting!
You know, I never worked.
Just be glad he's not playing
a smaller instrument.
You didn't love Barry, honey.
I'm, uh, considering leaving your father.
What? It's not like I'm putting
little nipples on them.
Well, couldn't she have just
copied my haircut?
- Hi, Mr. Adelman.
Okay, I don't know how
to say this, but, um...
Any reason to hang around?
Um, you guys?
- You want some help?
- If you want.
Yes. I guess she hasn't
seen everything yet.
Do you know what we should do?
Does anybody have any marijuana?
What's new in sex?
You come here and drop this bomb on me
before you even tell Daddy.
I'm sorry! It's the pigs!
They're reluctant to get in the blanket!
All right, you!
How come I'm stuck dicing
when he gets to ball a melon?
I think we're calling off the wedding.
I knew they were
having trouble with this, but...
I, uh, can't believe I'm gonna say this,
but I think Susan's right.
We're back on.
All these women, and nothing!
All right, you'll be sorry later.
Oh, my God.
Aired 23 years ago - Jan 04, 1996
Monica gets back together with Fun Bobby, but discovers that when he's not drinking, he's not so fun. Joey wins the role of Dr. Drake Ramoray, a neurosurgeon, on Days of Our Lives. And Rachel, dating a guy named Russ, can't see his uncanny resemblance to Ross.
Oh. We were trying
to make Joey feel better.
- Okay, I'll see you later, babe.
I really think this time it may work with him.
I mean, he makes me feel so good.
Cabin of love.
And yet somehow we went through five?
...I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby
without a drink in his hand.
Monica, have you ever been with him
when he wasn't drinking?
Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
Look, maybe this is none of my business,
or maybe it is, I don't know.
So, what are you saying now?
Okay, I guess this is gonna seem
What? What is so strange
about me having a date?
Oh, I know. I'm sorry, you guys.
You're gonna have to get used to the fact...
So tell me, darling,
how was the audition?
Okay. Uh, listen, there's something
I want to talk to you about.
So how about Joey Tribbiani
for the part of the cab driver?
What? Isn't he sober?
There are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.
...there are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.
- Oh, my God.
- He's not that bad.
I can't break up with him.
I made him quit drinking.
Okay. I'll just sit here and, uh...
- I... Okay.
- She's just upset because she, uh...
Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's?
Oh, you're the date.
See? Now they're
as different as night and...
...who's, uh, let it be known
that she is drawn to me, much like a...
...hello, a week to get out a sentence?
I mean, let's say I do make it, all right?
- So the light went out in my refrigerator.
- Scotch on the rocks with a twist.
- Ha, ha. Dysprosium.
No, Pheebs, I'm dating Russ.
You could not be more wrong.
You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
I don't know.
Who would I have to sleep with?
Aired 23 years ago - Dec 14, 1995
It's Christmas time and Monica tries tipping with cookies, rather than cash, with mixed results. Phoebe learns that the guy in the picture frames her grandmother keeps around is not her father and tries to track down her real father. And Chandler and Joey wait too late to shop for presents.
Just a big spring.
- Hey, guys.
Oh, that's cute.
Uh, Pheebs, that's the guy
that comes in the frame.
My mother gave me this picture
before she died. Same guy!
Okay, I have to talk to my grandmother.
Well, of course it is.
So he's not a famous tree surgeon?
Why would the villagers
worship a pharmacist?
...but he'd be drunk, so he'd crash
into something and wake everybody up.
I know exactly what she's going through.
Don't you have to be Claymation
to say stuff like that?
Monica, pigeons learn faster than you.
...and make a list.
Yeah, in Albany. Could I have
the number of Frank Buffay?
Well, I think you're better off without him.
You can take my cab.
Wish me luck, Grandpa.
It'll be two hours to
Phoebe's dad's house...
In like two hours I'm gonna have a dad.
Okay. Heat, heat, heat.
And I'm the obsessive one?
Well, put it back!
It's Rachel Green from upstairs.
We're having a party tonight.
Here I go.
An amount about the size of a pea.
How can that be too much?
Probably because I have so much skin.
Even though he's your super, I'm seizing.
Oh, do you think there's a chance
you can fix that radiator now?
Excuse me. I'm seizing.
So you really did like my cookies?
Is this, uh, mistletoe?
What's going on?
Yeah, maybe. And I'll knock on the door...
Because, I mean,
what if he's not this great dad guy?
Aired 23 years ago - Nov 16, 1995
Ross must choose between Rachel and Julie and enlists Joey and Chandler's help in making a list of the pros and cons of each. Big mistake. Meanwhile, Monica gets a job making food with a synthetic chocolate substitute called Mockolate.
...who I care about
and who cares about me...
Me and Julie, me and Rach...
Okay. Um, hi.
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
It's a synthetic chocolate substitute.
I love how it crumbles.
- But we think given the right marketing...
...we're looking for chefs who can
create Thanksgiving-themed recipes.
...that'll last you till Christmas.
No offense, but that
sounds nothing like her.
...and my diamond shoes are too tight!"
Ha-ha-ha. Rachel first.
What is that in the background?
What do you say we go take a walk?
Just us. Not them.
Oh, my God, you guys, I can't believe this!
This is unbelievable!
Ross, Chandler wrote something about me
and he won't let me see.
Okay, look at the other side.
Look at Julie's column.
I cannot believe Ross
even made this list.
That doesn't mean,
"Climb up the fire escape. "
Number four: How brave you are
for starting your life over.
- What are you doing out there?
- I'm, um...
...but actually uses them
as reasons not to be with you.
If things were the other way around,
there is nothing you could put on a list...
In some of these recipes,
the quantities may seem a little unusual.
Something about laboratory rats.
Aired 23 years ago - Nov 09, 1995
A drunken Rachel is persuaded to call Ross and reveals her feelings for him on his answering machine. And when he finds out, he must make the choice between her and Julie. Meanwhile, Monica finds work as Chandler's personal trainer and Phoebe has a hard time trying to get her boyfriend to have sex with her.
Hey, Pheebs. How'd it go with Scott?
Why won't he give it up?
Um, no, I don't think that's the problem.
Racquetball in 20 minutes.
Heh, now, what about, uh, Ross and...
For all I care, he can throw her
through the damn thing.
Actually, we're getting a cat. Heh.
- Oh, wow.
We're not supposed to
take these when we leave.
- I'm sorry?
- Cats. How long do they live?
Okay, Michael, let's talk about you.
I'm not sexy enough.
I mean, I'm officially offended.
But that's so sweet.
Those things that live for a day.
No, no, I am.
It's one phone call, I'll be very quick.
I'll even pay for it myself.
And I'm really happy for you...
And that, my friend,
is what they call "closure. "
Monica, it's Sunday morning.
I'm not running on a Sunday.
I am the energy train
and you are on board!
- Oh. And how was the date?
Ahem, I'm sorry. I don't know, I...
- Oh, I haven't even been home yet.
God, Ross, no! Hang up the phone.
Give me the phone!
- You're over me?
- Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
- Ugh. Okay. Okay, okay.
Yeah, so? You had feelings for me first.
- Meeting Julie.
Now you're over me?
- Hi, Julie.
- Honey, I've got a cab waiting.
- Hey, Joey.
- Hey, Pheebs.
- And we did.
"Is he gonna call me the next day?"
And "Where is this going?" and:
I mean, sex can be just about two people
right there in the moment.
He got you to beg to sleep with him.
No. No, it's not interesting.
Okay? It's very, very not interesting.
You should've said something
before I met her.
...or ex-fiancés, or... Or... Or...
You're just gonna put away feelings
or whatever it was you felt for me?
Aired 23 years ago - Nov 02, 1995
Chandler and Joey baby-sit Ross's son Ben and accidentally lose him while scoping babes on a bus. Phoebe loses her Central Perk singing gig to a professional singer. And Ross has an allergic reaction to Monica's kiwi-lime pie.
Aired 23 years ago - Oct 19, 1995
When a sexy woman calls the wrong number, Chandler seeks to make the most of the situation. And income issues divide the friends: the well-off Ross, Chandler and Monica versus the not-so-well-off Phoebe, Rachel and Joey. This all changes, however, when Monica is accused of taking kickbacks and fired.
Aired 23 years ago - Oct 12, 1995
The gang is amazed to learn that Phoebe married a gay Canadian ice dancer to help him get his green card. And Ross seeks relationship advice from Rachel after revealing that he and Julie have yet to consummate their relationship.
...from when you were having sex
with Fun Bobby on the terrace.
...because there's people
having sex on it.
You know, you are so amazing.
Is there anything you don't know?
Oh, I'm going to have to get over it.
- The Ice Capades?
- No, no, the Gravel Capades.
And the reason I'm dressed like this
is because I think it's nice...
Oh, I see, I see.
Because of the third-nipple thing.
- Come on, talk to me.
I mean, we do plenty of other stuff.
Lots of other stuff like...
So now I've got myself all psyched out.
- In fact, you know what I think?
...she pleads, she tells you
she's gonna have sex with another man.
- So do you. Sparkly.
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm kind of spooky that way. Woo.
I wanted to thank you
for, uh, our little talk before.
Well, um, you know,
these movies are offensive...
I mean, you're so smart and funny...
Well, is she the first
that you've been with?
But I told myself it was the liquor,
and everyone experiments in college.
And then one day he says,
"Oh, I'm not gay. "
Let's just talk. We never just
hang out and talk anymore.
Uh, Rach, ahem, I know her pretty well.
Can I go?
No, but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool.
No, no. That's all right. Don't tell me.
Ahem. Mrs. Gobb?
Well, okay, I mean,
how are you gonna handle it?
- Nothing. I mean, um...
Aired 23 years ago - Oct 05, 1995
After Mr. Heckles dies and leaves all his belongings to Monica and Rachel, Chandler discovers eerie similarities between the late eccentric man and his own life. Ross and Phoebe have a dispute over the progression of evolution.
Aired 23 years ago - Sep 28, 1995
The guys are uncomfortable with Carol's breast milk and Rachel is uncomfortable with Monica's growing friendship with Julie. Meanwhile, Joey competes with a fellow cologne spritzer for the affections of a beautiful colleague.
Ugh, what a bitch.
- Okay. Um, I'll go with you.
You're going to
Bloomingdale's with Julie.
Yeah, um, it's actually not that big a deal.
Nobody knows his name. Me and
the girls call him "The Hombre Man. "
I guess he doesn't know.
...from young men's to
the escalator is, uh, my territory.
I went shopping with Monica all day
and I had a salad.
And then I realized
that I'm against that and, um...
Listen, I was wondering if after work
we could grab a cup of coffee?
Funny Clown is only for after his naps,
not before or he won't sleep.
Oh, this is so cute.
Duh, I think I know
how to heat breast milk. Heh.
- What is the big deal?
Not even if Carol's breast had
a picture of a missing child on it.
- Hey, thanks for your jacket.
- Oh, no problem.
You know what probably happened?
- Julie. Jody?
I was thinking of you the whole time.
Did it ever occur to you
that I might just be that stupid?
Hi, who's this?
Give me the bottle.
Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
You're an actor. This is your day job.
Isn't supposed to mean anything.
Sooner or later, somebody will come
along that slices a better cheddar.
Now, go see Miss Kitty and
she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.
- Oh, I love you!
- I love you too!
Ugh, I really needed that.
Heh. I said, morning.
My God, what happened?
Aired 23 years ago - Sep 21, 1995
Rachel waits patiently at the airport for Ross, not knowing he is returning with a new girlfriend, Julie. Meanwhile, after giving Joey and Chandler new haircuts, Phoebe is persuaded to cut Monica's hair, but gives her an awful haircut. And Joey learns that his tailor is a very naughty man.
- You! You!
- Joey, what up?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
We haven't seen each other since then.
I land in China...
We just wanted to say a quick hi.
"It's never gonna happen. Move on. "
You know whose voice that was?
I don't know. We're having a great time.
- Go, go, go! Come on, come on!
...is that he made this decision
all by himself...
Ironically, these guys
were picked last in gym.
I'm incredibly anal and
an unbelievable control freak.
No, excuse me, heh, 15.
Sweetheart, I'll see you later.
Okay. One, two, three.
Okay, okay, okay.
How did this happen to me? How?
I know you did.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not falling for that again.
Whoa. And the fact that you dumped him
because he hit on Phoebe?
But this is about your horrible mistake.
Good. Glad it's not a problem.
He'll know what it means.
...and all, you know, Monica about it.
...doesn't trust a person.
Heh. Demi Moore is not a he.
Oh, my God! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
How long do you want the cuffs?
- How's the hair?
- I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross.
You gotta tell Ross how you feel.
Then he ran his hand up my leg
and then there was definite...
Then they go up the other side,
move it back, then they do the rear.
You could "get caught between
the moon and New York City.
Well, uh, can I talk to you for a sec?