Aired 15 years ago - May 06, 2004
Erica gives birth to the baby that Monica and Chandler are adopting—but there's one small added surprise. Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel sleep together one last time before Rachel leaves to start a new life in Paris, but Ross realizes that he still loves her.
- Who's laughing now?
- I know!
- Oh, I.. I don't know.
We didn't really get to talk.
You know, it was like one of those things
you think is never gonna happen,
- That doesn't matter!
We have waited so long for this.
- What did you say?
- Nothing! What do you say to that?
and then my mom would bring
Emma to Paris on Sunday.
- Because she's just going to shoot me down.
If I had more time to work on it,
it'd be better, but..
Hey, so what is the big surprise?
- I will.
You gotta think about last night
Oh my God.
- 18th and East End.
- I don't take passengers.
Ofcourse I can, I'm their mother!
- Yes, she jumped right back up.
- We were wondering
what was taking so long with the gift,
- Okay, let's find these birds.
- Maybe we can open this up somehow.
- Ross, where are you going?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they
were doing it before.
- She's got her cell, you could call her.
- Alright, look, I have to go.
- What's wrong with the plane?
- There's nothing wrong with the plane.
- I'm sorry.
...of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't.
Aired 15 years ago - Apr 29, 2004
With Rachel leaving tomorrow, the gang throws her a small going away party. She says goodbye to each of her friends individually, except for Ross. He gets mad and the two of them end up in a passionate kiss after she explains that she was putting
it off because of how hard saying goodbye to him would be. Meanwhile, Erica is in town until the baby arrives and she ends up going into labor at the party.
Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.
In fact they have one of the highest markups
in any consumer product...
No no. This will always be your place.
It would be too sad.
Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie.
- You got it!
You guys hear a ringing?
Mhm, maybe she used 'em with another boyfriend.
Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
... smoked oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust,
- Hey, Rach, hey you.
- Here she is!
Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving.
How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
- You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
- Yeah? Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row?
You doing okay?
You know what?
Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff
that I wanted to say to each of you
Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
... so that if they perfect the cloning process while you're over there,
you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
I was just in our bedroom
and I found these on my pillow.
Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say...
I know what you mean.
You are like a sister to me too.
Oh no, she took down Monica...
And I'm the cryer in the family.
No, no, no... They are really yours.
We... found them in your old room.
You don't really handcuff guys to water pipes, do you?
- Let me just say something... Because once we get into this,
I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some
Oh, you know what?
Let's not say anything else.
I love you.
I'm sor... Just go. Just go. I can't, I can't.
- Oh, you guys. This was an amazing night. Thank you so much.I love you. Good night.
Alright, let's think about this.
I mean, there's got to be an explanation.
Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
Everyone gets a goodbye but me?
Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises)
It's physically impossible!
- I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
We are moving in a couple of days
and we've got a lot of packing to do.
It'd be great if you guys could pitch in.
The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped.
Well, I was cleaning out the closet and
I found some pictures of them... being used.
How was your night?
Erica, are you okay?
Okay! Chandler, get the coats.
Erica let's go.
Phoebe and Joey, keep packing!
Aired 15 years ago - Apr 22, 2004
Ross tries to get Rachel rehired at Ralph Lauren. He succeeds, but after Rachel tells him how scared she is about moving to Paris, he's convinced she should go. Phoebe discovers that Joey's agent Estelle died and, since his life has been changing
so much recently, doesn't want to tell him. Chandler and Monica visit the house next door to theirs and discover that Janice is bidding on it. To get Janice to withdraw her offer, Chandler comes on to her.
and we're easily confused. We're not very bright.
I know. He always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic.
Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Uh... What can I do for you?
And let's face it you're not gonna find anyone who did it as well as she did it.
Isn't that true?
Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
I just heard it as you must have heard it and that's not good.
Let me start again.
Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
I'm just mad at my agent.
Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Yeah, actually I am!
No, no, look.
All I'm saying is that you're my agent, ok?
Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing.
They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back!
When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back
Yeah, I just - I just feel bad about firing Estelle.
This is got to be killing her.
Look, I know she's not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years.
which ... is the key... to a happy heart.
And yet I never run into Beyonc¨¦!
I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie Don't, don't!
Ah! now we have to get it! Ellen, we're going to talk numbers.
Will we love it so much with her next door?
...that make your balls jump back up inside your body.
Just hear me out.
How would you feel about offering her a raise?
Oh, Believe me, the ladies, they love it!
Joey, this is Al T. Booker,the guy who eats paper.
Can I ask you something?
"out of area". Boy, I'll say.
And... I'll see you later, neighbor.
Chandler, what are you talking about?
Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money.
Well, I took it.
That's great! So you're staying in New York!
Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world?
Aired 16 years ago - Feb 26, 2004
Monica and Chandler visit their house, which is in escrow, where Joey is comforted about losing his friends by the 8-year-old girl who presently lives there. Phoebe learns that she can change her name to whatever she wants, which turns out to be
Princess Consuela Bananahammock. After Mike changes his name to Crap Bag, she decides to just be Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan. Ross gets tenure at his job. Rachel's boss is sitting next to her at an interview, and she loses her job. However, she runs into her old friend Mark, who offers her a job in Paris.
Aired 16 years ago - Feb 19, 2004
Phoebe tries to teach Joey to speak French for an audition. Surrogate mom Erica is visiting town and tells the Bings that the baby's father may be a shovel killer. Ross and Rachel head out to Long Island after her dad has a heart attack. After
Ross rejects an upset Rachel's advances, the two decide never to have sex again, although Rachel suggests it still might happen.
- I'm so sorry.
- Uh, is he okay?
Okay. If you really need to.
- So just repeat after me.
...quite what I'm saying.
JOEY: Hey, sit down.
- Thank you.
You should walk to the top
of the Statue of Liberty.
That actually means something here.
When you put your feet up on my bed,
you tugged on my catheter.
What, the heart attack
or sitting here talking to you?
- Right now you need to get some rest.
- Okay, maybe you're right.
Rachel Green is very happy
you're in her room.
No, um, uh, look, um.
...but I think one of us
has to be thinking clearly.
I haven't had sex in four months.
I should get a medal for that!
- What is with you?
- I've been to these places before...
was he falsely accused of something?
Well, all right, let's say that it is him.
He probably loves his mommy.
You're not-- You're--
- There it is.
...I wouldn't have woken up
feeling stupid and embarrassed.
Oh, really? Well, you know what?
lam a big girl.
- That's right! Sex is off the table!
By the way, I wanted
to ask you something.
...because the things she did
with that prison guy?
Joey, do you speak French?
Uh, I was passing by when
I heard this man speaking...
Good job, little buddy.
And also, you know, I, uh--
Aired 16 years ago - Feb 12, 2004
Phoebe asks Joey to give her away at her wedding. Monica's the wedding planner and she's driving Phoebe nuts. Chandler and Ross discover at the rehearsal dinner that neither of them has a part in the wedding. However, Mike needs to replace a
groomsman, so he lets Phoebe choose one of them, although she gives the job to Rachel. Joey takes his role as the bride's dad way too seriously. Phoebe fires Monica. The day of the wedding, New York is hit with the worst snowstorm its seen in 20 years. Phoebe rehires Monica, and the wedding ends up taking place in the street outside of Central Perk. When the priest can't make it, Joey steps in for him, and Chandler gives the bride away, while groomsman Ross is stuck taking care of Mike's old dog.
Harpist? My friend Marjorie
is playing the steel drums.
I'm glad we're having a rehearsal dinner.
I rarely practice my meals before I eat.
So, Rach, where's Emma?
...on one hand, you're happy for them.
On the other, it's hard to let go.
If it helps, you were next in line.
You just missed the cut.
I don't have a fax machine.
Look, about tomorrow,
I've got a question for you.
You know, I really don't feel
very comfortable making this decision.
She probably will support me.
Just not enough to put us
in the original wedding party.
The bride and groom
have a few words they'd like to say.
I thought about it, and I fixed him up
with my friend Mary Ellen...
Okay? I just wanted a simple wedding...
Happy my wedding day to you.
Well, even though the things you said
hurt me a little bit...
I guess if you're taking over, then you
should probably return these messages.
Now, I promise I won't say a word.
But if you pick Chandler...
...and you were saying the word
"lorkins," what flower would that be?
Are you rehearsing
for some really bad Mafia movie?
Joe, I love Phoebe.
- Let's talk about this groomsman thing.
That didn't make me
uncomfortable at all.
How bad do you wanna
stick your tongue on that?
- Who's there?
- I'll tell you at the wedding.
...but the food is not? And the drinks
are there but the bartender is not?
Okay, people, we are back in business!
- Hey, you made it. Great. Chappy!
- Would this person be in the wedding?
- I guess.
- Oh, no.
- Hey, don't worry.
- Oh, what the hell.
- Oh, come on.
Oh, wait. Oh, no. Wait.
Phoebe and Mike
are perfect for each other.
Aired 16 years ago - Feb 05, 2004
Phoebe's bachelorette party features a rather unexpected surprise when the stripper shows up. Joey is on ""Pyramid."" Chandler and Ross flash back to 1987 to reflect on a pact they made when they were in college.
The name really stands out.
- Great. I'll be there.
Maybe not you.
...but relax. I'm just like you,
only better-looking and richer.
In high school, I once had sex
with a girl right in the middle of the...?
Really? So this is...?
I mean, let me just go talk to Monica...
- It's white.
- Paper. Snow. A ghost!
Oh, time's up. Well, Joey, you were...
I got a kid starting college.
I have to get surgery on my knee.
...but we didn't want it to jeopardize
our friendship, so we made a pact...
Hey, where is this guy?
It's been over an hour.
...and we'll get this party started.
God, no. I don't wanna see him
take his clothes off.
Did someone call
for the long arm of the law?
Now, if you'll just pay me my $300,
I'll be on my way.
...the male form in all its glory.
Joey, describe these things associated
with the United States Congress.
I can't believe we're
at a real college party.
- I've already lost four pounds.
- You can so totally tell.
It's really nice to see you. Not!
Oh, believe me, Ross,
I won't be telling anybody about this.
Man, I'm sorry.
So I thought, "Who does Ross
like more than anybody?"
- So where are you applying to?
You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.
I mean, what skills do you have?
Or you could... You could teach stripping.
And I didn't even get a chance
to finish it.
Okay. All right. Get ready, ladies.
A match. A candle.
- What? When was this?
...after you told me she was
passed out in our room...
Aired 16 years ago - Jan 15, 2004
Phoebe and Rachel catch Chandler getting into a car with a blonde woman and think he's having an affair. It turns out that the woman was Monica and Chandler's realtor, and the two are buying a house in Westchester. The friends reminisce about their good times in the apartment.
...because we were gonna see,
you know, either Liar Liar...
Okay. Well, talk to you later, okay? Bye.
So do you think we should get it?
We don't. Not until it's 100 percent.
Why upset everybody over nothing?
Why? Who'd you see him with?
If only there were a smaller one
to clean this one.
- All right.
- Chandler might be having an affair.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that's awful.
All right, you better sit down.
Why do you have a realtor?
Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?
So you want to buy a house in the '50s.
No! No, it's not! Don't listen to him.
I'm gonna thump you.
- About an hour ago, we made an offer.
It really is. It has this big yard
that leads down to this stream.
You know that's not the reason, Joe.
"I can't believe Chandler's
screwing this woman...
All my life, everyone's
always told me, "You're a shoe!"
You can see where he'd have trouble.
"Joker" is "poker" with a "J"!
No, Mon. You want to put them
in concentric circles.
"Chandler was how old when he
first touched a girl's breast?"
You need this or you lose.
You are mean boys
who are just being mean!
Stop yelling in our apartment!
You are ruining moving day for us.
That's more than most people
have in a lifetime. Goodbye.
That's fine because I'm not moving.
...she leaves me notes on the mirror.
And I have to live with a boy!
A little toast here. Ding, ding!
...or if you had been with your
family, or if you didn't have...
You don't wanna live in Westchester.
That's the worst of the Chesters.
They don't make me feel so good.
It's Nancy. They responded to our offer.
Aired 16 years ago - Jan 08, 2004
Monica and Chandler travel to Ohio to meet a potential mother for their child, but they're put in an uncomfortable situation when the mom-to-be thinks they're a reverend and doctor. Joey's date picks food off his plate. Rachel picks out an outfit for Ross to wear on a date, but accidentally gives him the bag with her purchases instead.
Now I don't know who's running
for president or who that NATO guy is...
Well, this is it.
- Thank you for agreeing to see us.
Are you kidding me?
I mean, it's enough that you're a doctor.
- Yeah, so you gonna call this one back?
That's why you won't
go out with her again?
Just don't order a garden salad
and then eat my food!
Oh, yeah, yeah. No,
Joey doesn't share food.
You are calling her, okay?
And some Buffalo wings.
Oh, this place is great!
Three hundred and fifty dollars?
All right? I know your size, and I'll
pick out some really good stuff for you.
So the fact that I'm a doctor
and my wife's a reverend...
Reverend, can I ask? Does the Bible
say anything about adoption?
Would you have time to take care
of a baby and your flock?
Good. Do you have questions for Erica?
- I don't think we have to.
- We don't?
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
I think we're not wearing
the same shirt anymore.
Looks like someone is the ladies!
I mean, as a chef, I serve God
by feeding the hungry and poor.
We may not be who she thinks we are...
But this woman is giving away her child.
Maybe she will.
Seafood platter for the gentleman,
and extra fries.
Well, I didn't mean it!
...there are things you do, and,
you know, things that you don't do.
- I'll just have what she's having.
- I'm sorry, sir.
Just a tiny little...
So these are the preliminary forms
for an open adoption.
I could perform an operation on you
and prove it if you'd like.
Well, we "bore false witness."
Just consider us.
Ask them to see our file.
Aired 16 years ago - Nov 20, 2003
After Monica announces that she's not cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year, Phoebe talks her back into it. Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey are all late to the dinner, thanks to a baby beauty contest and a Rangers game, so Monica and Chandler lock
them out. The gang is united again when Monica gets a phone call informing her that a pregnant girl from Ohio has selected her to adopt her unborn baby.
Well, let's see, I know that she has
a meeting with her lawyer...
- Phoebe, all babies are beautiful.
- Oh, okay.
He still believes that what's
on the inside is important.
Did someone drop the baton again?
But we haven't heard a thing
from the adoption agency.
Okay, let's see. Oh, the cranberry sauce.
You obviously haven't tasted
my Palmolive potatoes.
She didn't want to host
in the first place. We shouldn't go.
- We're still going to the game, right?
There was this one baby, Haley,
who was favored to win...
My God, they just took her sweater off.
Rachel, the hottest babies in the tri-state
area are in this room right now.
Good. Let's get down to business.
Emma needs some makeup.
Get off the ice, you idiot!
I know, I know.
When I was here for "Holidays on Ice"...
Rachel and Phoebe are already there,
so they probably started without us.
And I won.
You entered Emma in a beauty pageant?
- All right, what are we gonna say?
- We'll say that we were mugged.
That says "Rangers" on it.
They went to the game.
We're just trying
to figure out an excuse.
That would be a good way to get rid
of all the PCP we have lying around.
Why don't we play rock, paper, scissors,
and whoever loses, goes in first.
Come on, you guys, we're sorry.
Our subway broke down.
Monica put something
in our oven this morning.
All you got was
Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts.
If I could just get in there,
make a face-to-face apology...
Hey, listen, guys,
we feel really terrible.
But let's not ruin this day.
You've worked so hard.
- "Grand Supreme Little Darling"?
You knew it'd make you late,
and you went anyway.
- Oh, is that what that is?
It's a little late for that.
I'm finding it really hard
not to mess with him.
...and you guys push. Maybe we can get
enough room to wiggle him out, okay?
Aired 16 years ago - Nov 13, 2003
Phoebe and Mike struggle over their decision to donate their wedding fund to charity. Ross discovers Rachel's irrational fear of swings. The adoption worker in charge of deciding the fate of Monica and Chandler's adoption hopes had a one-night-stand with Joey where he never called her back. Monica and Chandler are approved for adoption.
From two kind strangers.
- I'm glad we did this. It feels so good.
- It does. It feels really good.
That's okay. I'm sure there are tons of
other beautiful paleontologists out there.
Like I said, I was thinking of taking
Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire.
...swing incident when I was little.
And it was uneven for weeks.
And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Space is filled with orbiting children.
But I won't be needing a veil.
I actually won't be wearing a dress at all.
Well, we're different.
I don't care about having a huge party.
You know, that's the same
whether you do it at the Plaza or...
I promise you she's safe.
Watch how much she loves this.
So I deserve a real celebration.
Hi, I'm Laura.
I'm here for your adoption interview.
We love kids the appropriate amount...
Is that that couple on the first floor?
We should get a baby before them.
I went on a date with a guy who lived
in this building. It didn't end very well.
Oh, relax. I didn't say the F-word.
Who is still laughing. Nice.
I just think you're an adult, okay?
And you should get over your silly fears.
Guys, is everything okay?
It's me, Joey.
We don't want any crazy today!
- Bert and Ernie?
- You can't make this stuff up.
...my friend hasn't shot anyone
in a really long time.
Some people don't get him,
but I think he's really funny.
You have got some nerve
coming back here.
I gave you my number.
You never called me.
You're a beautiful woman.
You know how many women
I had to sleep with to get over you?
- Dating is hard.
- Boy, you people are nice.
If I haven't said so already,
On behalf of the children of New York,
I reject your money.
Aired 16 years ago - Nov 06, 2003
Rachel and Monica fight over who will receive an ugly painting from Phoebe's apartment when Mike wants her to get rid of it. Chandler gets on Joey's bad side when he lies about watching Joey's audition tape. Ross is up for a big grant, although
Charlie's ex-boyfriend is in charge of who gets it. Dr. Hobart tries to trade--Ross breaks up with Charlie and he'll get the grant. Eventually, Charlie and Dr. Hobart reconcile after he reveals his feelings for her.
...I like to use...
What's the product?
Well, unless it's the creepy guy
with his hand up his kilt...
And if I get it, I'll be able
to complete my field research.
So your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine
if your new boyfriend gets this grant?
He does have
a pretty serious latex fetish.
I just happen to have my label maker.
Oh, what a tragic loss.
But I think that you're
giving up too easy.
Look, come on, please? It's not like
I'm asking you for some crazy favor.
- Work, Joe.
- Damn it.
Do you think there's any chance
he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C-3PO?
- It's so good to see you.
- Oh, you too.
I mean, I have to tell you that you're
one of the reasons I got into the field.
- Do you remember the night?
- Oh, my God. I completely forgot.
You know, the two of you
in this restaurant with the...
I'm starting to realize
how much I've missed her.
- Is he gonna let you keep the painting?
- No, he really hates it.
- You know, I would give her up for you.
- No, I couldn't let you do that.
No, no, that's okay.
You won fair and square. I'm so sad.
- But you watched the tape?
- Yeah, I liked it.
- I watched it.
- Keep going, Pinocchio.
The decision will be based on the
answers you give to the questions I ask.
Primarily in the Pierre Shale region
of South Dakota.
- May 12?
- That's not even kind of close.
I've never heard
of a "Boscodictiasaur."
But you are a liar.
So before you lie about lying
about lying about lying about lying...
Well, Gladys, say hello
to your new home.
- I haven't really settled on a spot yet.
- How about right above the TV?
- There's nothing above your bed.
- Are you still here?
...for Charlie interfere
with the interview process.
- You're crazy.
- Crazy or romantic?
I got her from Monica. She sold it
to me for a very reasonable price.
Get that legless witch out of here!
- She's mine.
- She's mine.
- And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Well, if it's like the Lake Mbosco
in Congo, then M-B-O...
Like I tried to tell you
in the interview...
Too little, too late, Benji.
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 30, 2003
Monica and Chandler solicit Joey to write a letter to the adoption agency on their behalf. Joey discovers the thesaurus. Rachel's sister Amy visits and moves in with Rachel and Joey. She babysits Emma and gets the little girl's ears pierced. On
their first anniversary, Phoebe spoils Mike's plans to propose, so she proposes to him. That doesn't go well, but the two get engaged anyway.
I'll just shower by myself.
- You're not Rachel.
- Still sharp as a tack.
You are not good.
Hey, your English is getting better.
Here, highlight the word you want
to change, go under "tools"...
But he travels a lot,
so he's hardly ever there.
Sometimes just nodding is okay.
I'm gonna marry Myron
and keep looking for Mr. Right.
Sir, could you move your nachos?
They're in my seat.
You're so generous and kind,
and you're amazing in bed!
- It's the worst way to propose.
Some of the words a little
too sophisticated for you?
...with full-sized aortic pumps."
You don't need a thesaurus.
Just write from here.
...but I think it's really good
that she's here.
So I want to help Amy
the way you guys helped me.
...for us to sit down and, you know,
talk about your future.
Well, I bought Chandler a $500 watch,
and he wrote me a rap song.
Oh, my God.
Mike was gonna propose?
Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
Isn't that a little desperate?
So how should I do it?
since she died seven years ago.
Did Molly say what she had?
Because my throat's been hurting.
- Why not?
- For one thing, she keeps calling her Ella.
...she's giving up getting her eyebrows
shaped to do this, all right?
I didn't try to sound smart at all.
Someone just dropped off a handwritten
recommendation letter and...
They thought Joey was a child?
And I got you a present
for letting me stay with you.
If I had told you, then it wouldn't
have been a surprise, now would it?
Because there are so many
terrible sights in this world.
- She needs to have a cool, fun aunt.
- I'm a cool, fun aunt.
I am going to be a baby stylist.
No more falafel for you!
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to the bathroom.
Get a load of this.
She's proposing to him!
At least now people
will know she's a girl!
- Joey, where are those bags?
- She has a lot of crap!
She was. Carbs found her.
But just so you know...
Where else would lame
Mr. No Balls hide it?
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 23, 2003
It's baby Emma's first birthday and Rachel won't let the party start until Emma wakes from her nap. However, everybody has places to be: Monica and Chandler want to leave for a weekend getaway in Vermont, Phoebe has a massage client, and Joey has an audition.
When they see this, you'll be 52.
- Joey, it's a birthday party.
- Yeah, but for a 1 -year-old.
Man, that's a funny cup.
But it really is to us, okay? Emma
will never have a first birthday again.
I remember your first birthday.
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Geller.
Let me help you with that.
- I can't believe Emma's still asleep.
- I know. What are we gonna do?
Hey, Pheebs? You know what?
Or you could stick a fork in an apple.
So would you mind
performing them once now?
A mother held her new baby
and very slowly rocked him...
"And while he rocked her, he sang:
Thank you so much for that gift.
'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma!
Maybe the actor Richard Crenna...
- After all, my parents died very young.
- And my cholesterol's off the charts.
You're gonna love this cake. I got it
from a bakery in New Jersey, Carino's.
- Did you do a picture of Emma?
- Yes. On a cake shaped like a bunny.
The resemblance is uncanny.
...for my daughter's birthday.
And I need a bunny cake right now!
Yes, I still want my daughter's picture,
but on a bunny cake!
...till I dropped the key.
...because we haven't spoken
to your parents in 17 years.
- The last train leaves in a half-hour.
- And I have a massage client soon.
Okay, okay, where are you?
No, wait, you guys.
No, you can't leave.
- So how'd your audition go today?
It's down at the Astor Theater, and you
need to have a monologue prepared.
And we paid for a room
that we're supposed to be in right now!
Whoever gets the highest number
gets to go first.
We can make them race,
and whoever comes in last stays.
And the race is going to go
from here to here.
What are you barking at?
No. No, no. Wait.
There isn't time to go to the bakery.
We're gonna come home.
I can't believe this.
And do you know how important these
early experiences are, Ross? Very!
...and everybody gathered around
her cake, singing "Happy Birthday."
Oh, my God. Look, you made it
into a bunny. How did you do that?
Now, another way to organize
your stuffed animals is by size.
That's my girl.
There's no one around.
Why don't we just take this one?
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 09, 2003
Joey and Rachel's first date goes well, until they return to their apartment and discover that everything's awkward. They decide that they make better friends than lovers and call off their relationship. Monica and Phoebe try to avoid their
annoying friend Amanda, who has returned from living in London with a fake British accent. Ross gets a spray-on tan.
I know. Amanda.
And she always brags about
all the famous people she's met.
Well, I guess we could try that.
But it seems so harsh.
Well, I like how you look.
What are you?
Spray, count, pat and turn.
Spray, count and pat.
- You never turned?
- No! I barely got to "three Mississippi"!
Yeah, but your back's a zero.
You'll wanna even that out.
How do I know
when it's gonna start? Hello?
I'm in the neighborhood,
hoping I could pop by your flat.
- Just work the bra, Joe.
- Okay, got it, yeah. Absolutely.
- Is this thing welded shut?
I'm an expert at taking off bras.
I could do it with one hand.
But do you think maybe, on some level,
you don't want to take off my bra?
Hold on. There's something different.
Oh, my God, you can do a duet
of "Ebony and Ivory" all by yourself.
Really? One time he just looked
at my bra and it popped open.
You couldn't stop laughing.
You got through that.
It's not going to pop open.
What do you think of Mike and Chandler
being in a car accident?
Oh, gosh, we have
so much to catch up on.
No, I distinctly remember
you were dodging her calls...
...very sexy. Sexy.
All right, let's do it!
What? Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
If she asks,
I protested a little, but okay.
You look positively ghastly.
You're also so generous
and kind and scrappy.
That's because I'm scrappy.
I'm gonna stop you
right there, Glenda. Okay?
What is the matter with us?
Hey, listen, can I ask you a question?
When you and Monica first hooked up...
If not, we'll just be a couple
that never has sex.
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 02, 2003
Ross puts on a convincing front and invites Joey and Rachel to dine on fajitas with him and Charlie. He quickly gets drunk and embarrasses everyone. After Rachel and Charlie leave, Joey spends the night and the two talk in the morning. Ross tells
Joey he'll work on getting used to him and Rachel. Meanwhile, Frank Jr. visits with his kids and tries to talk Phoebe into taking one of the triplets. Also, Chandler and Monica visit some friends of Phoebe's to learn about adoption. However, Chandler accidentally tells their son something he didn't know - that he's adopted.
But now that I've had time
to absorb it...
Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night.
I do like fajitas.
every time you say "triplets"...
- Oh, how does it work?
- I don't know!
When we're in a public place,
there are certain rules.
...pulling the tampons out
of the lady's purse.
But if it was up to me, this is not what
we'd be doing on our first date.
Come. Please come in.
Gosh, Ross, you know,
you seem a little...
...but they're so cute.
What do I do when the third one runs
at me with his bike helmet on?
So a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees
and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
Then color-coded to correspond
with the forms in the back.
You want me to wash
my hands first, don't you?
- You were?
- In fact, my father was a den mother.
I'm just proud of us.
I just want you to know...
Fajitas! Be careful!
Very hot plate! Very hot!
I mean, you know,
he's really funny.
Oh, no, no, not Leslie. No.
I think we just ran out of kids.
You know, I'll help out more.
I can babysit anytime you want.
You don't have to eat the sour worms.
Those are for Owen.
And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.
...extremely normal I find it...
- Dude, are you okay?
- I'm sorry.
You know what, Ross,
I think we're gonna take off too.
Yeah, you know, Joey, l...
You actually did that when you
were dancing to the Chicago soundtrack.
What are you talking about?
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 25, 2003
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe discover that they can eavesdrop on Ross & Charlie and Joey & Rachel through the walls of the hotel. Both new couples decide to wait before proceeding with their relationships, until the men can talk to each other. Ross
tells Joey on the plane ride back to New York, but Joey can't quite yet. Later, Ross walks in on Joey and Rachel kissing. Meanwhile, Monica combats her poofy hair by getting corn rows put in, and Phoebe discovers that Mike has a girlfriend.
How about the dinosaur twins
in the other room?
Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel.
...and watching Miss Congeniality.
...Paradise Hotel Golf Resort and Spa.
If you see him, could you tell him
I'm looking for him?
All right? So just be nonchalant.
What is this? Well, let's see.
We kissed for 10 minutes...
Look, we appreciate all the advice...
Yeah. Yeah. We can wait.
We don't have to do anything tonight.
Nothing. It's really... It's nothing.
Come here. Come here.
Yeah, we need to talk to Ross. Yeah.
- So did you talk to Joey?
Whose day just got better?
- I thought so.
- Oh, and listen to this.
Wow, it's kind of weird that I'm
sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
...you feel free to roam about my cabin.
Oh, okay, good. You do that.
He's in a good mood after
the flight attendant says "duty-free."
- Hey, Rach?
Well, Charlie and I were talking, and...
It's okay. You know, look...
- Well, look, before you go...
- No, I mean it.
I couldn't. He was saying all
these really nice things about me.
One more thing. There might be a picture
of Precious on my coffee table.
Hi. I'm Precious. Who are you?
Well, if I had them taken out,
then I wouldn't be able to do this.
Here's the thing. The cornrows were
a solution to your frizzy-hair problem.
And Joey? Well, Joey didn't realize
there was anything different.
Hi! There she is! Hi, Emma.
Oh, my God, I missed you.
Ross, actually, there's something
that I really need to talk to you about.
Because you took 300 bottles
- Wow. Clearly this is not a good time.
- You think?
He's very sorry about that, and wishes
you the best luck in all your endeavors.
I just can't believe that Mike
didn't give me any warning.
...and I got stuck.
All right, all right, okay. How about this?
How about this? Tomorrow...