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M*A*S*H

S10 E3
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 10  "Rumor at the Top"  10x3

Aired 42 years ago - Nov 09, 1981

The latest scuttlebutt affects everyone's behavior when a visiting is rumored to be recruiting for a new M*A*S*H unit. The gang fears that the 4077th will be split up.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 2
- General Edwin Torgeson? - You know Torgy Porgy?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 3
[Groans] This is terrible.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 4
- I hope not. Too many of these can run down a neighborhood. - Captain, this ain't funny.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 5
I am an indispensable five-star scrounge.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 6
Somebody's liable to take this seriously.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 7
Oh, ho, ho. Wrong on two counts.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 8
If they made you chief surgeon at the new unit, that'd make me chief surgeon here.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 9
They're gonna take somebody from here. And it's gonna be one of us.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 10
Gentlemen, am I to infer from your conversation...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 11
Nah, Charles. I've had offers like this before.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 12
Everybody thinks he's here on a fact-finding tour.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 13
Boxing. How apropos. A fighting man who likes... fighting.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 14
Charles, I can't talk to you now. I'm very busy. I have to prepare my duty roster.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 15
the first thing you need is a commanding officer.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 16
Not a very rosy prospect. But-But it seems to me it's out of our hands.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 17
- Are you asking me to be an accessory to a fabrication? - Yes.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 18
- So tell me, how is Torgy? - Ornery as ever.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 19
Uh, if it's all right with you, Colonel, I'd rather bunk with your surgeons.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 20
Not exactly the metaphor I would have chosen, but, uh, I do have something on my mind.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 21
They wanna hang my portrait along their... ecclesiastical esplanade.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 22
and heavenly light streaming down from above.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 23
Ah, right. Not like some of those young officers...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 24
A thousand pardons. In my religion, this is the month of the sacred bull.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 25
- Klinger! - May your life be free of snakes. Sh-boom be with you.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 26
No, we haven't heard anything about that down in Seoul.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 27
- I got it. Here, boy. Here, boy. - Get him. Get him.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 28
- Major Charles Emerson Winchester, Major Burnham. - Ah...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 29
My real forte is diseases of the aged-but-not-yet-retired.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 30
- No kidding? - Talks about it all the time.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 31
eating... beans after a hard day of sheep ranching. [Clicks Tongue, Whistles]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 32
I think my surgical skills would take a giant leap if I were to find a new locale.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 33
He loves to spend as many hours in the saddle as he can.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 34
She's a might peculiar though. Enough of this idle chitchat. As I was saying...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 35
[Plate Clatters]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 36
- [B.J.] Don't you just love it rare? - Oh, yeah.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 37
Padre, I'm comin' down with a case of Rembrandt's elbow.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 38
...seven, 38...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 39
- Nah. You might as well. - Don't you hate it when they come in the middle of happy hour?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 40
All right, all right, all right. We'll pack him off for now. We'll finish him in the morning.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 41
- The patient is dead? - No. We just don't know where he is.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 42
Uh-uh! Until he hits the operating table, we're not responsible.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 43
What happened to the Hippocratic oath?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 44
## [Singing]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 47
This... Very difficult diagnosis. The patient's wounds are not what they first appear to be.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 48
Long as he has a week to rest up, he's great one day in a row.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 49
It's me who'll be going. They need a chief surgeon.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 50
- Oh, go suck a combat boot. - Margaret!

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 2
- General Edwin Torgeson? - You know Torgy Porgy?
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 3
[Groans] This is terrible.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 4
- I hope not. Too many of these can run down a neighborhood. - Captain, this ain't funny.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 5
I am an indispensable five-star scrounge.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 6
Somebody's liable to take this seriously.
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 7
Oh, ho, ho. Wrong on two counts.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 8
If they made you chief surgeon at the new unit, that'd make me chief surgeon here.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 9
They're gonna take somebody from here. And it's gonna be one of us.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 10
Gentlemen, am I to infer from your conversation...
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 11
Nah, Charles. I've had offers like this before.
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 12
Everybody thinks he's here on a fact-finding tour.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 13
Boxing. How apropos. A fighting man who likes... fighting.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 14
Charles, I can't talk to you now. I'm very busy. I have to prepare my duty roster.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 15
the first thing you need is a commanding officer.
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 16
Not a very rosy prospect. But-But it seems to me it's out of our hands.
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 17
- Are you asking me to be an accessory to a fabrication? - Yes.
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 18
- So tell me, how is Torgy? - Ornery as ever.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 19
Uh, if it's all right with you, Colonel, I'd rather bunk with your surgeons.
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 20
Not exactly the metaphor I would have chosen, but, uh, I do have something on my mind.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 21
They wanna hang my portrait along their... ecclesiastical esplanade.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 22
and heavenly light streaming down from above.
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 23
Ah, right. Not like some of those young officers...
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 24
A thousand pardons. In my religion, this is the month of the sacred bull.
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 25
- Klinger! - May your life be free of snakes. Sh-boom be with you.
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 26
No, we haven't heard anything about that down in Seoul.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 27
- I got it. Here, boy. Here, boy. - Get him. Get him.
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 28
- Major Charles Emerson Winchester, Major Burnham. - Ah...
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 29
My real forte is diseases of the aged-but-not-yet-retired.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 30
- No kidding? - Talks about it all the time.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 31
eating... beans after a hard day of sheep ranching. [Clicks Tongue, Whistles]
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 32
I think my surgical skills would take a giant leap if I were to find a new locale.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 33
He loves to spend as many hours in the saddle as he can.
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 34
She's a might peculiar though. Enough of this idle chitchat. As I was saying...
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 35
[Plate Clatters]
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 36
- [B.J.] Don't you just love it rare? - Oh, yeah.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 37
Padre, I'm comin' down with a case of Rembrandt's elbow.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 38
...seven, 38...
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 39
- Nah. You might as well. - Don't you hate it when they come in the middle of happy hour?
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 40
All right, all right, all right. We'll pack him off for now. We'll finish him in the morning.
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 41
- The patient is dead? - No. We just don't know where he is.
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 42
Uh-uh! Until he hits the operating table, we're not responsible.
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 43
What happened to the Hippocratic oath?
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 44
## [Singing]
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 45 #45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 46 #46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 47
This... Very difficult diagnosis. The patient's wounds are not what they first appear to be.
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 48
Long as he has a week to rest up, he's great one day in a row.
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 49
It's me who'll be going. They need a chief surgeon.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 50
- Oh, go suck a combat boot. - Margaret!
#50