The Good Place

Eleanor and her friends contemplate their fates and destiny in the Good Place.

No, don't... oh!

So where does this Mindy St. Clair live?

I'm Janet.

but then you did this one good thing.

Yeah, but it's always warm.

What's your deal? Are you single?

So tell us everything. I mean, what did you do

One night, I had an epiphany, right?

I was flying high. It was so awesome.

Oh, so the question was, did you get credit

But anyway, they finally came to this compromise, you know?

Eleanor, we've got a surprise for you.

and sing to her and wear one of those dumb hats

- You're my boss. - Oh, say that to me again,

sent here by mistake. His name is Jason Mendoza,

For now, I will hear your arguments for why

I was blown away by her capacity for self-improvement.

However, I've just received word that Eleanor is not currently

I've been asleep in goo for the last 29 years, so I'm good.

Hey, you wanna grab a drink or something?

and I've cut words out of most of them to make pornography.

I will watch this VHS copy of "Cannonball Run II."

It was weird.

That was "The Crashing and Subsequent Destruction

Yeah, uh, Judge, request permission

was the old Eleanor. She changed.

Not as much as Chidi, surely,

I forgot how needy humans are.

No, but how do you intend to enforce this ruling?

Whoa, what is happening?

or your accomplices Chidi Anagonye and Tahani Al-Jamil

one of whom was a DJ.

- they just said. - We can't let Tahani and Chidi

I think he has a good point.

- But they do. - That's their problem.

I believe so, though it'll be close.

Let me try again. Do... do you have another bottle?

I'm gonna miss these little perks when I'm down in the Bad Place,

But we can't just abandon our friends and let them

let me tell you about Doug and Donna Shellstrop.

There are no tickets, Mom. I knew that was

And since you both forgot, again, which means

my college fund bailing your boyfriend out of jail.

With the help of Chidi and Tahani, Michael faces his biggest challenge yet. Meanwhile, Eleanor, Jianyu and Janet face a monumental decision.

And she belongs with us. Oh, also, check this out.

♪

Oh! She's naked!

Yeah, but it's always warm.

You guys have fun. This is me and Janet's

And then I immediately fell into subway tracks

Exactly. I don't know how long

Yeah, no, I get it. It's just, I know

sent here by mistake. His name is Jason Mendoza,

that she is a selfless person.

[door closes]

Or maybe "The Making of 'Cannonball Run II.'"

"Brief Instagram Flirtation with Kid Rock"? Oh, no.

and sorely needed fashion advice.

What if you're here, and I'm like this?

one of whom was a DJ.

and you never see your friends again.

Blowing stuff up got me out of so many jams on Earth.

Come on, we gotta go.

that I was kind of a nightmare.

you definitely didn't get me a present, again,

[melancholy music]

We surrender. Together.

The Bad Place is owed two people.

with the Director of Point Calculations.

For what I hope is the last time,

Well, I'm in love with this Janet.

No way. Eleanor wouldn't do that.

Jason has agreed that the two of us should go.

I will miss you so much.

but you don't love me, which means that this...

Well reasoned.

Do you ever get the feeling we could be doing it all...

I'll go to the Bad Place with Real Eleanor,

Look, I love you and I think you love me.

in the rules that might just save everyone.

but it's actually a filthy dumpster

He made sure I'd see those bogus neighborhood rankings

This was supposed to be my big moment.

I'm going to design an afterlife

Let's try something new.

And apparently, this Janet is in love with Jason.

But wait, why is Chidi here?

you were the closest to actually getting in, up there.

We improved each other,

Eleanor and Tahani hatch a plan while Michael makes a startling discovery. Meanwhile, Chidi confides in Eleanor after learning some interesting news.

- Great. - Well, at some point,

Is one tongue okay?

He'd send you to the Bad Place.

J-town.

and the other two on guac.

Best friends!

- Oh, dear. - All this

then I reopened it and it fell into the sinkhole.

Yes, it would appear that way.

or else you'll be tortured by demons forever.

I'm married.

I wasn't a failed DJ.

that specifically barred that from happening.

My suspicion is that when I was rebooted,

It's gonna be hard to keep a straight face tonight.

Real Eleanor said she loves me.

You have a tendency to over-think things.

She's Universe-approved.

and when you died at that exact same moment,

basic questions designed to tell whether you were

Yeah, dawg.

Oh, that was another serious crime I committed.

No, don't... don't touch...

and an escape route, but we'll figure it out as we go.

DiGiorno!

Yeah, hi, we're being robbed.

Eleanor, for an utter novice, you have thrown a lovely party.

Please, they'll listen to you.

mingling around with your various secrets.

Now, we shall hear from tonight's featured guest.

Original flavor, not new and improved.

And my dog got kicked into the sun.

Like "nobody's perfect," but the letters switched.

Gah, come on.

because everything I'm doing is out of self-preservation.

Holy shirt.

but how is this going to help?

wishing for the sweet release of eternal extinction.

No, not really.

with your friend hiding inside it.

You were just an accomplice.

Now he's never gonna get the life he truly deserved.

You're the smartest girl in the world...

You should be with someone better.

So far, it's genocide and leggings as pants.

It means "error," Jason, which is what this is.

When you're rebooted,

Eleanor makes a surprising personal discovery. Meanwhile, Michael tasks an indecisive Chidi with coming to an important decision and Jianyu makes a big announcement.

you having feelings for my soul mate would be

but we should have all our bases covered.

Right, which is why I can't take this lightly.

Oh, boy, now I'm nervous about that decision.

- Chidi, just pick!

point of view? I'm vexed, Uzo, vexed.

oh, and he loves ethics so much.

but he never makes fun of me, which is nice.

I think you should tell Chidi how you feel.

No, no, no, Chidi did it.

oh, oh, my.

the pros and cons for each, but, of course,

Please, take him for an hour, take all the time you want.

out of their wallets, stupid stuff.

But, somehow, I never want to leave you.

I feel so itchy. Sorry.

He's not supposed to be here. Just like your "soul mate."

Oh, but... no, Chidi, true love is rare,

I feel like her confession of love

- Okay.

Here you go.

Why are you so nice to me?

I have one more question for you.

and the loser will just have to accept her fate

like two mangy rats sharing a pizza crust

Yes, I did, and I'm very sorry.

Deirdre... I absolutely adore your shares.

who become friends, sort of like us.

the system did screw up by letting fake Eleanor in.

so screwed up at this point that maybe you don't belong

this whole neighborhood could fall apart.

Ellen and I are engaged. You're my oldest friend,

When something's important to me, I can make a decision.

Ugh, the dream.

Maybe you two are soul mates.

People come in pairs here,

Here, we've got Eleanor, real Eleanor,

I don't, but the minute I said that,

Um... I wrote 11 different versions.

involving what I consider to be unfair labor practices

My wedding isn't for another month.

I'll buy you a beer.

Chidi?

let's get ready to married.

At different moments during our time here,

Michael faces a challenge when he tries to resolve an unprecedented situation. In addition, Chidi makes a connection, to Eleanor's chagrin, and a different side of Janet emerges.

Beat it, Gloria. She is, like, such a dork.

and I'm all set with it, thanks.

Everybody cool? Great.

I need some help negotiating. I don't even know what to offer.

And anyway, there's a bigger problem:

It's up your mom's butt, you fat dink.

Surely this magnificent house will placate them.

to get up on this dumb ledge though, it's like...

is Eleanor's worst nightmare.

Uh, flying piranhas, lava monsters, college improv,

I don't mean to be a bother, but could I possibly

All right, Michael, we're going to ply them

Sure, quick question: what is a "jalapeño"?

That's hilarious.

Oh, nailed it again.

in Thailand rescuing victims of human trafficking.

and you're like a... wet pile of mulch.

your parents got a divorce?

and abandoned me at a train station in Bangladesh.

learned English from watching "Seinfeld,"

Oh, man, these horndogs are vibing like mofos.

Hey, Janet.

if I know things, because I'm an informational delivery system,

Buffalo Wild Wings in Jacksonville,

Because you're the only person here that's nice to me.

making a deal for Fake Eleanor.

You know, I actually don't think that's such a good idea.

and in-depth classes. He taught me about Plato

Chidi, you don't have to explain anything to me.

I've seen it all already. You guys go ahead.

Okay.

on your credit card, and the rest of us get screwed?

Where did she end up?

Want a bump?

- Karaoke time! - Whoo!

when he drinks."

and he never spoke again.

But I read your file...

We will torture you, but you'll also be happier

Okay, hold on, I have to ask: is this thing gonna happen?

I don't care about the house, Michael.

No, you need to stand up for yourself.

Well, the Bad Place Crew requested the hangover filter

after each other, or whatever it is nerds do.

We think you'd be a great addition to the team.

We hang out after work because we're friends.

I get it, man. Which one's my desk?

Most days, you'll be able to avoid even talking

last night. We hooked up.

Michael has a private meeting with Eleanor, who is put to the test. Also, Chidi harbors a secret and mulls over what to do.

Here you go.

and then you learned that she's just an immoral grifter.

And, lest we forget, she murdered Janet.

But we've been through a lot as well.

and "Bachelor in Paradise,"

Michael, good news.

I have Eleanor Shellstrop's file.

to a hilarious mistake and move on?

We don't like to use this.

and there will be consequences.

Michael knows I didn't kill Janet

might have to go...

On the other hand,

Tahani, I'll get right to the crux of the matter.

to preserve his privacy, but he found my presence

I might find a way to look past her, um...

Well, is it not she

Oh, boy. No, don't say any of that.

You think I should send her away?

Your devotion to the noble truths has given you something

Ouch.

Oh, thank you, Jianyu.

I swear I will lose my mind.

biggest positive and negative point swings.

And it's tied together with a Slim Jim.

How about I tell you more about those churro dogs.

All right, I gotta go to the DMV and pick up my vanity plates.

What?

Oh, boy.

Serves her right.

Over a loser dry cleaner man?

Do not tell me that you made t-shirts that said...

Dude, Madison brought this on herself, okay?

I think you know it does not.

Next question.

called Eleanor Shellstrop.

What is that smell?

Oh, nuts, thank you. Oh!

You're... Check this out.

putting rainbows up your butt or whatever you do here. Okay?

I just want to say, once more, for the record,

And that I never did laundry.

You guys came to say good-bye because you're my friends.

Eleanor puts Janet in her crosshairs to save Michael from eternal suffering.

Oh.

Right. Bye.

This is #TahaniTime.

Oh, boy.

and sees his dog for the first time.

Well, I wasn't gonna share this so as not to upset you,

with a flaming ladle and poured over hot diamonds.

but instead it will definitely be around my genitals.

No, not by using them.

who are lying about their identities?

"two birds with one stone" scenario.

but then he just left his tenured position

but can we...

- Okay. - Whoa, you want to kill Janet?

Killing is one of the most famous

Was it someone nice and great, like Oprah?

Yes, well, Kant was a lonely, obsessive hermit

They do?

We can be boot brothers.

Those look great.

You were always there for us.

Michael, you always kept us warm and safe

Ugh, I'm sorry I was so grumpy.

To learn the difference between "toward" and "towards."

I-I wanted to talk briefly to someone and then say,

No, it's not organic.

So it's like aging for a human?

She's essentially living a life. We can't kill her.

It's just there in case of an accidental shut down,

Please, please, please don't hurt me.

Ugh, you want a robot killed right,

Look at them!

That party was lame, so I bailed.

Not cool, dude.

Attention... I have been murdered.

Attention... I have...

'cause you're a dead guy in sunglasses.

That's a nice capper to this wonderful day.

Anyway, what is there to say about Janet

Hello, Architect,

- Oh. Oh, no. - Shh, okay.

Everyone, um, until I get to the bottom of this,

J-Dog, you cool?

They're the only things that bring me comfort.

and that lie has haunted me ever since,

Eleanor is enlisted to help Michael with an important task that could determine her fate in the Good Place. Meanwhile, Chidi agrees to be the third wheel in an effort to help out his friend.

how did they afford that apartment?

Well, you know me.

And your Wi-Fi is way better than my neighbor's, so I'm in.

And I thought maybe we could get facials

Dude, you got to come with us to the spa.

Well, if I feel sympathy for anyone,

Oh, I cannot wait to just relax and talk and chat

But Eleanor's off with Michael,

I never really looked around your office the first day.

Anyway, my current theory is that some object

but to me, they just look like rocks,

You need to chill a little.

Look, I promised to help you,

Let's keep our eyes peeled for twigs that may have

Couples are pairs of people.

Uh, a helper part who is here for fun

Well, I'll see you inside, darling.

So no toilet?

Why do you need a human to be your assistant?

Usually, architects don't live in their neighborhoods.

'Cause your butt is on the line.

Unlike Ross when he promised Emily not to talk to Rachel.

The images on the screen relate to nothing.

and share some intimate aspects of his life?

Is that allowed? Not really.

Sometimes all you guys think about

I promised I'd house-sit one more day,

What are your pores like?

She said she likes impressionist paintings.

I had fun, I didn't think about my problems,

someone who I can talk to about the ethereal colors of a degas.

We have a special on soul mate muffins.

Eleanor, I have huge news.

behaved unpredictably.

So do you think we're looking for a man,

fell from the sky.

Ugh.

She likes impressionist paintings, right?

And the guest list that night was limited.

was in a close radius.

out of ideas and forcing Joey and Rachel together,

How's the dog?

Eleanor's eagerness to learn ethics from Chidi becomes the full-time job he never wanted. Meanwhile, Michael and Janet focus their attention on a Neighborhood emergency.

I've been standing at this chalkboard all day.

We have a Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis.

where no one can see or hear us, even if I yell

- Ah, Tahani. - _

Um, this is the reaction I have when things

Let's get back to it.

it meant anything from "I just bought weed from your nephew,"

What... is...

Eleanor... 6th?

It's the pretty bird we saw in the garden.

It seems you're moving out of your structural period,

- What's wrong? - Nothing's wrong.

I thought you liked teaching me.

because then I am shirking my ethical duty.

opened up in the town center.

Or we could both just stay here.

The whole Neighborhood is offline.

I did that. I cleaned the dishes.

[knocking]

I was wondering, as my assistant, maybe you could

[chuckles]

Yes, you would think so, wouldn't you, Henriette?

5.2 million isn't bad.

I'm sure you all know my sister, Kamilah.

a BAFTA Award-winner for her documentary

[applause]

Thank you guys so much.

Your job? What was your job?

Oh, well, my job wasn't nearly as interesting.

A marriage counselor and a human lie detector

No, I am not going to have sex with someone

How sad for you. Face it, dude.

I'm sure the stress of the sinkhole has caused

Eleanor, why don't you...

No, no, no, not you.

My goodness!

By exactly nine days.

What is so unsatisfying about your soul mate relationship?

a girlfriend that I "loved."

This is all uncharted territory.

Just the two of us, alone. Just us.

Why in the world did you go outside?

Anyway, why did seeing the rankings unravel you so?

"the home in Kensington, the yacht,

It says, "We bequeath the rest of our estate to Tahini."

that you can only dream of.

Eleanor has a hard time remaining hidden. Michael asks Tahani to assist a neighbor in finding her true purpose.

That would be 2006 fundraiser for stem cell research in Barcelona.

It's one of the human clothing items I'm most eager to try.

You can do that with... oh!

Let me show you my bud-hole.

I wrote down on a piece of paper that I needed a private meditation area.

No, no, dude, you cannot date Janet.

And it's really hard.

So I'll get right to the point.

but I just got an offer to DJ Scott Disick's after party

the talk of the entire neighborhood.

It's just that, well,

I totally understand.

"Knowing others is wisdom,

Let's move on to this week's main event,

That's a great idea. Hume's "bundle theory" of the self

Ugh, take that jersey off, you goofball.

Don't mind me. I'm just dropping off my afternoon gloves,

You're... you're wrong.

- and they're going to be here. - What a great idea. Patricia!

Obviously, it's impossible for something to be

Oh, bud-hole. Okay.

We hack into Michael's phone,

They hit my ears like boxing gloves of sadness.

I'm Mr. Music, the DJ.

Aah!

will fulfill his or her soul's true purpose.

Chef Patricia has recreated

Almost makes me forget how miserable I am right now.

Janet?

Suspenders!

Later this evening, we will be enjoying

and share our stories?

No. I'm sick of pretending to be Jianyu, the tofu man.

saved over 10,000 lives.

Destroying it would be a truly cruel act.

I know that may not be

but then a hole opened up in the ground.

What's wrong, dog?

I don't want to be a DJ in Jacksonville forever.

that Jason Mendoza is a beautiful, unique soul

that I fear he may never speak again.

Chidi begins formally teaching Eleanor about ethics, and lesson No. 1 is: be kind to your neighbor. Michael and Janet help Chidi find a new, exciting hobby.

and try out some new hobbies.

Yeah, there's really no way to tell.

- Who's to say? - That's so kind.

- It's so disconcerting. - Yes.

I'm telling you, Tahani's out to get me.

who would write this.

so when you're mean to her, it starts to wilt.

the embarrassing, the humiliating, just... let's bond!

And as I raised nearly $60 billion,

Oh, I didn't really do it for long.

Here, watch.

All right, I'll check your references.

bigger than your right reference?

I see how that might be fun.

is exactly why you should do it.

I thought it'd be more in her wheelhouse.

Well, Glenn, we just wanted to make sure you were all right.

Eleanor and I just want to see if there's anything

Yes, I know.

It would look even better on my floor.

Oh, Jianyu, darling, would you like some tea?

Please stay and enjoy the evening tea.

"The Diary of Tahani Al-Jamil."

- Janet. - Whatever.

I want to keep working on my manuscript.

of the world's literature in about an hour.

"Of course, the exact opposite might be true."

What's wrong?

So I could see if her handwriting matches the note

You stole Tahani's diary.

Why would you even know that?

but, obviously, no one here would ever threaten you.

Because I'm just as good as everyone else.

but she devoted her entire life to helping other people.

Instead, let's just stay in,

And it's not like someone's keeping score.

I would love not to listen to you.

Michael does not know everything.

So if spending eternity getting blunt feedback

I mean, that thing is unreadable.

I know that he took a vow of silence,

but I do understand.

Eleanor tries to prove to Chidi that she is worthy of his help. Meanwhile, Tahani and Jianyu try to help Michael feel better about the unknown flaw in his Neighborhood.

A book on how to act good.

I was just put here by mistake.

You must remember something.

Do you not remember one single thing about me?

- How did you know all that?

- Sen...

Time to pick a designated driver.

- For the record,

[gasps and warm applause]

to band together as a community,

to clean up, but I suppose there's no harm

- Eleanor and I would love to help.

- Whoo!

How's volunteer garbage pickup?

- Tahani! How goes the cleaning?

See, I must have made a mistake somewhere.

Thank you so much for your service.

Oh, you sly devil.

- Us too!

My area's almost garbage-free.

thought that moral virtue is something

yes and no.

for choosing a designated driver,

in the system I accidentally discovered.

- I got no-flavor.

like with Cindy Crawford and how short she is.

Whose dog is that?

Shouldn't these be magical trash bags?

How do I start? - Hop on the launch pad

[thunder crashing]

- Teacup, thank goodness you're okay.

and get you another one just like that.

[garbage clattering]

out of nowhere for no reason at all.

and all you wanted to do was talk about morals.

- It's a-- it's a dream come true.

to be calm and in control

has just referred to himself as a canyon

♪ ♪

Oh, thank you, Jianyu, thank you.

- I think it's awesome.

that's my buzz.

I've thrown up in a lot of cabs.

Peace!

- I saw you from my window.

You're doing this because you feel bad.

- Well, feeling remorse about being wrong

Newly-deceased Eleanor Shellstrop is sent to the Good Place, but only by mistake; Eleanor is determined to become a better person in her afterlife with help from friends Chidi and Janet; Eleanor tries to prove to Chidi that she's worthy of his help.

Some have warm weather, some cold.

You were all, simply put, good people.

Anyway, when your time on Earth has ended,

Welcome to the Good Place.

But you, a lawyer who got innocent people off death row,

you love clowns, so...

And now we can actually learn about them

I was... in...

you'll pass the test

What is the Bad Place like?

I was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy.

Just like you. Boop.

I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and

Oh, forget it. Heading to the bar!

And you deserve a perfect world

Wait, wait, wait. I just have to go upstairs

At least I can still say "butthead."

'Cause you're a nice person.

I have no idea why any of this is happening

Eleanor, this is all happening because of you.

Let's just face it, Eleanor,

Teach you what?

No one can access what you ask me,

Hang in there, buddy.

you can get anything you want at any time.

I swear I am worth it.

is Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.

Betsy.

Flying.

Oh, well, hurrah.

having fun, or does it maybe suck, probably?

This neighborhood is a disaster.

All right, come on. Let's go.

that you can't try to be good,

We switched to a rotating system

Look, I... I appreciate you trying to cheer me up.

Nice try, puppy!

and I'm ready to fly.

Everyone, it is merely a construct of a dog.

Before you say anything...

More cleaning up to do.

full of poo-poo.

knowing my friends will get home safe,