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New Girl

S3 E12
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Ended
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FOX
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Season 3  "Basketsball"  3x12

Aired 10 years ago - Jan 14, 2014

Jess does a full-court press to solidify her friendship with Coach. But Nick goes on defense when they bond over his rival basketball team. Meanwhile, Schmidt is assigned to mentor a much older new hire at work and Winston discovers a new career path.

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Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
then I don’t expect to see a carved archway there,
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
I’m gonna punch you in the nose.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
You’re the town magistrate!
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
You want those papers signed, you pick them up and you walk them over to me.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
Okay, now back to work.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
Oh, no, no, don’t worry about it. I’ll get it.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
No. My ears, the hollow tubey thing inside
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
She is some kind of fine.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
and her mother doesn’t cancel it before we get to play.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
I mean, you’ve got the potential, but you’re sloppy.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
in the shins repeatedly for the next hour and a half.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
Yes. If the other guys see him talking down to me like that,
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
You set the tone, Lane. If you suck, we suck.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
There might have been a unicorn in the corner,
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
so actually this date is costing me about eleven thousand dollars a month.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
Haven’t really hit a bad one yet.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
So, let’s see, we’ve covered work, kids...
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
I was actually thinking of doing a little fishing this Saturday.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
I hear there’s one from Peru that comes with a Surgeon’s General warning.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
the planets are aligning, and I am going to my senior prom!
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
And I know she doesn’t approve of such things,
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
before she signs off on him being my escort.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
By the time she says yes,
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
I appreciate that.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
Let’s go.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
a facial scrub and a honey mask.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
I feel like everything’s going my way this time.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
I don’t lie to guys to make them like me.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
So I’m trying to make conversation and I say, "Hey, cute frog."
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
No. He has the best time buying them for me,
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
So?
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
Oh yeah. Wow, it really is time to go to college.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
Tell it to the Timex salesman.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
and we took an oath. An oath that stated
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
of committing high crimes and misdemeanors.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
What privileged information?
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
Everyone in school saw you walking with Jamie, Paris.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
I’m not going to resign. You have the problem, you resign.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
The swimming pool needs re-plastering.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
I’m not IRS. I’m not IRS.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
I’m fine, whatever. Let’s get this over with.
 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
And neat. And in triplicate.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2 #2 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3 #3 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4 #4 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5 #5 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
then I don’t expect to see a carved archway there,
#6 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
I’m gonna punch you in the nose.
#7 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
You’re the town magistrate!
#8 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
You want those papers signed, you pick them up and you walk them over to me.
#9 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
Okay, now back to work.
#10 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11 #11 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
Oh, no, no, don’t worry about it. I’ll get it.
#12 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13 #13 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
No. My ears, the hollow tubey thing inside
#14 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
She is some kind of fine.
#15 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
and her mother doesn’t cancel it before we get to play.
#16 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
I mean, you’ve got the potential, but you’re sloppy.
#17 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
in the shins repeatedly for the next hour and a half.
#18 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
Yes. If the other guys see him talking down to me like that,
#19 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
You set the tone, Lane. If you suck, we suck.
#20 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
There might have been a unicorn in the corner,
#21 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
so actually this date is costing me about eleven thousand dollars a month.
#22 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
Haven’t really hit a bad one yet.
#23 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
So, let’s see, we’ve covered work, kids...
#24 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
I was actually thinking of doing a little fishing this Saturday.
#25 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
I hear there’s one from Peru that comes with a Surgeon’s General warning.
#26 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
the planets are aligning, and I am going to my senior prom!
#27 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
And I know she doesn’t approve of such things,
#28 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
before she signs off on him being my escort.
#29 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30 #30 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
By the time she says yes,
#31 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
I appreciate that.
#32 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
Let’s go.
#33 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
a facial scrub and a honey mask.
#34 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
I feel like everything’s going my way this time.
#35 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
I don’t lie to guys to make them like me.
#36 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
So I’m trying to make conversation and I say, "Hey, cute frog."
#37 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
No. He has the best time buying them for me,
#38 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
So?
#39 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
Oh yeah. Wow, it really is time to go to college.
#40 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
Tell it to the Timex salesman.
#41 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
and we took an oath. An oath that stated
#42 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
of committing high crimes and misdemeanors.
#43 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
What privileged information?
#44 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
Everyone in school saw you walking with Jamie, Paris.
#45 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
I’m not going to resign. You have the problem, you resign.
#46 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
The swimming pool needs re-plastering.
#47 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
I’m not IRS. I’m not IRS.
#48 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
I’m fine, whatever. Let’s get this over with.
#49 Recap of New Girl Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
And neat. And in triplicate.
#50