Top Gear

REVIEWS: Range Rover • Lotus Esprit • Nissan Primera • TVR T350C CHALLENGE: Fastest faith - part 2 This week, a review of 2002 and off-roading. The MTM Bimoto (based on an Audi TT) and the AS One, two German cars try to set the fastest lap on the track and there's the new Range Rover, the original Lotus Esprit and the TVR T350C. Those that couldn't make it into the first race came together for part two of "The Fastest Faith." MORE -LESS

So Callie's got road rage, huh?

Yeah, you got to embrace Callie's anger.

go downtown, stay in this really cool hotel.

Yeah, snap a new one on him.

All right. Just gonna text Ethan.

Committed Listener 515?

help us out with this, maybe, like, another lady?

exactly what your grandparents had, but with hands.

Um... she called you a bonebag.

Oh, yeah. That's it. That's it.

which is why I had Ethan

drink a lot of water.

No, sweetie. Just finish these forms

cause these days he's a bit of an old paperbag.

I must say, these guys really saved my life.

- I don't understand what bonebag means. - I don't understand what bonebag means.

REVIEWS: Volvo XC90 • Subaru Forester • VW Golf R32 CHALLENGE: Stripped down Jaguar XJS The Radical raced with an aeroplane, the Renault Espace, and the new Subaru Forrester 2.0 XT also feature. The Volkswagen Golf R32, Ford Focus RS, Seat Leon Cupra R and the Honda Civic Type R - all hot hatchbacks compete to see which is the best. Gordon Ramsay is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. MORE -LESS

All right? I totally rage.

- You know, don't do that. - Come on.

Actually, it's not just three of us anymore.

It's been tense, fractured.

I'm going to leave.

Alright.

you want to jerk my turkey.

of you wearing the shirts with a bunch of strippers

- What?! - you think is gonna happen...

Okay. Remember when you sort of extinguished my first bachelor party?

How could you?

Dude, that totally sucks.

That's why you're my best friend,

grab that from you here?

Let's rage.

REVIEWS: Audi RS6 • Mercedes-Benz E55 AMG • Maserati Coupé • Ford Fiesta • Citroën C3 • Honda Jazz • Nissan Micra • MG ZR CHALLENGE: Lada Riva modified by Lotus • Fastest white van man This week: 'driver's cars', the BMW M5 faces the challenge of its rivals, a Lada Riva 1.5E gets a make-over from Lotus and who is Britain's fastest van man? Also featured are the Audi RS6, the Mercedes-Benz E55 AMG, the new Maserati Coupé and a selection of super-minis: Ford Fiesta, Citroën C3, Honda Jazz, Nissan Micra and MG ZR. Michael Gambon is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. MORE -LESS

Look at all these buttons.

but is it worth the sacrifice when it looks like an eggplant?

This sedan could do zero to 60 in 1,

and hold on.

Comfortable, upset that he's got to drive such a big behemoth.

And putting the power down, even when it's sliding,

Is it faster to fly or drive?

I had to go 12 miles to L.A.X.,

I'm sure Tanner was making better time.

and a hundred miles an hour is, like, absolutely nothing.

We're gonna leave at 2:55.

and 36 miles of highway before the next fuel station.

A little bit of a trade-off, but we know 544 miles an hour top speed,

I'd rather walk in the desert than drive 62 miles an hour in a straight line all day.

See, right now I got to wait for everybody to get off.

You see? That's why flying is too stressful for me.

Whoo! Boom! Boom! Boom!

and, you know, we do all this stuff, and they got the little atvs.

I bought it used, and it was a disaster for me.

to get out there and drive around that track,

Which could be suzuki's marketing slogan.

4...

And now it's time for Tanner to test a strange german mutant.

BMW's luxury S.U.V.,

It surprised us with a twin-turbo V-8 making 400 horsepower.

It actually can pull more g's on the skid pad than an m5 or an m6.

but I still can't figure out what to call it.

Kind of is strangely comfortable.

that completely smoked you actually to vegas...

REVIEWS: Saab 9-3 • Lotus Elise 111S CHALLENGE: Fastest faith This episode is dedicated to the environment - Richard tries to drive to work in an eco-friendly way. Jeremy drives a diesel supercar and the search for the fastest religion begins. Cars reviewed include the Saab 93, the Peugeot RC and the Lotus Elise. Jasaon Dawe visits a school with a selection of supercars, to find out which is the children's favourite. MORE -LESS

Oh. No, I just moved in with my girlfriend, actually.

- Maybe we'll share one of those beers. - Hey. Perhaps we will.

This is quickly becoming weird.

And then he came back a few minutes later

Well, how will she know?

Uh, like really good friends with Adam.

Okay, she's your sister.

Because I am harboring a serious fugitive.

Hey, you, uh, you gonna be in there for a while?

He's just having a little...

I want to go for a ride!

emotionally available to be with you.

Like, big one.

You really want that?

REVIEWS: Renault Vel Satis • BMW Z4 • Mercedes-Benz SL55 AMG • Honda NSX Type R CHALLENGE: Grannies doing handbrake parking Jason Dawe looks at a used Golf, Jeremy test drives his own car and Richard drives the new BMW Z4 Roadster. The grannies return, this time to see who can master the 'art' of handbreak parking. The cool wall is unveiled.Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. MORE -LESS

But, beneath the, I have to say, quite cool exterior,

while he's driving down the motorway

there's an almighty crash and a shudder.

because it'll be the same as every other business park.

not something that appears to have come from the mind of Jerry Anderson.

You know Indian food, okay?

This is a Renault Double-Fault.

Go for the metallic, kind of mushy pea green, with the silver roof.

So what are we gonna be teaching the grannies?

are coming back to motorsport.

All those spare tyres on their hand cream, facial scrub..

Well, probably about 70 quid scrap, aren't they?

because they've ended up with this - 'Hyoondai' Elantra.

and we decided that it's a stylish car, didn't we, okay?

"because, well, that was bit of girly, really." Look.

An angry-looking collection of angles, curves, and intersecting lines.

30 grand, at least 30 grand. That's a big price hike.

This is a Z4. Not a Z3.

Now, I'm sorry, mate, it's hideous.

It's a big Fiat. It's a Ferrari! It's cool! Back me up!

It's ugly, yes, but it's cool.

and we think that right now it's here.

Do it now, quickly, or you'll have his way.

No, you haven't, you just kicked them on

I mean, what was it the first that attracted you to the free Honda NSX?

No, but I'm just saying that if somebody's, look, worked their ass off,

If you saw Tara.. Where's the shop where they're sold?

You know what these are?

And it was quite wet today. It was wet.

it's now A Star in A Reasonably-Priced Heavily-Discounted Car. Absolutely.

9 times out of 10, they will take care of settling that for you.

And then, please, phone the finance company,

even though it was heavy and dull compared to its predecessors.

As a used-car, this is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free car.

Number 1, unless you've got to, I would stay clear of buying the Automatic.

driving something that you really are ashamed of.

Quentin Wilson bought one.

of more than 200 mph.

but if I were to ever have a hard day at work,

you're gonna have the most expensive hairdo in the world,

This is the kind of noise, deep, resonating noise, that hurts dogs.

REVIEWS: Mercedes S-Class • Audi A8 • Maybach 62 • Bentley Arnage CHALLENGE: Turn a car into a Bond car. The Maybach, a rival to the Rolls Royce and the Mercedes S Class are featured. At the lower end of the car market, the lads build a budget James Bond car for £300. Jonathan Ross is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

you are not planning on getting into a fight, right?

Um, how about the person who did not get the credit... me.

I mean, his name's Flea.

Do a good deed as the sun rises.

- they don't have a very strong lounging culture. - It's for you.

Can he hear everything? PHIL: No, not everything.

There's nothing funkadelic about you, Mike.

Hello, darling.

Stop it.

Oh, I see. So you want me to be the villain.

Just stop! I don't want to know.

I thought you handled it.

Oh, no, we're not married. We just live together.

You are. And very modest.

Police department! Open up!

It's a little more guttural than that.

REVIEWS: Aston Martin V12 Vanquish • Ferrari 575M Maranello • Nissan Skyline R34 GT-R CHALLENGE: Family Saloon Formula One Jeremy and Damon Hill play with Ferraris, Jason looks at used Nissan Skylines and there's a look at James Bond's Aston Martin. Steve Coogan is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

just all white.. and white vinyl roof.

REVIEWS: Mini Cooper • Toyota Yaris Verso • Citroën DS • Westfield XTR CHALLENGE: Grannies doing doughnuts The results of the Best Looking Car poll are revealed. A Westfield goes up against the Pagani Zonda and a gang (what is the collective noun for grannies?) of grannies see who can do the best doughnuts.

of course, you don't know him, but Ivan the Terrible, when his people...

REVIEWS: Ford Focus RS • Honda Civic Type R • Noble M12 GTO CHALLENGE: Bus jumping over bikes Jeremy drives the Ford Focus RS and the Noble M12 GTO. Also, how many motor bikes can be jumped by a double decker bus? Jamiroquai front-man, Cat in the Hat and Space Cowboy Jay Kay is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Zero to 60... 4.9 seconds.

But since Mitsubishi claims that this is no ordinary car,

All right, we'll see you at the lodge.

A propane truck... highly explosive.

I would rather be in this Evo than a jeep

[ laughing ]

[ applause ]

debonair,

This particular Aston Martin is the v-8 vantage.

I mean, if you think about all the cars you could buy for $120,000...

The question was, did it really have the power?

Ohways!

Within seconds, the v-12 had established an unbeatable lead.

All of these Brits are liars.

[ southern accent ] Mercedes? A Porsche?

Onto the straightaway at over 120 miles an hour.

Did it in a 129.2,

That's true, yeah. I drive a pretty awful Prius.

You're thinking forward.

and then I want it to talk to a car thief and say, "you just stole Dom's car."

You got to remind yourself, don't you?

Well, let's... I guess we're gonna find out, aren't we?

Which makes him the champion moron.

like how it was started in the '70s by a Japanese racer with a wild driving style.

- "I get carsick." - Do you want to meet your teammate?

That's not the brake?

Wood: Yeehaw, baby!

I said right before he went he was gonna beat you.

Foust: Adam and Rutledge didn't know what hit them.

That would have been nice if it was in the circle.

It was my time to shine.

and get all four tires into the designated area.

Wood: Oh, with the roll!

[ cheers and applause ]

REVIEWS: Citroën Berlingo • Pagani Zonda • Lamborghini Murciélago • Mazda 6 CHALLENGE: Speed cameras Jeremy drives the Citroën Berlingo Mulitspace; Richard tries to find out if it is possible to drive so fast, that you can not be 'seen' by a speed camera, and the Pagani Zonda and Lamborghini Murcielago are the first cars to show what they can do on the new Top Gear track. The Ford GT and the new Mazda 6 also feature. Also featured is a Volvo 740 which runs on vegetable oil.Harry Enfield is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. MORE -LESS

Snake number 1.

172 miles an hour.

When do we go?

[ Beeping ]

It was time for plan "c"... hide.

See, look... There's another red convertible...

I don't know where... But it's almost like it echoes through the...

Remember when your new episodes are out with TVShow Time for iPhone and Android

Oh, I saw his eyes.

but I'm more sorry that dodge is killing the viper.

is gonna be driven as hard and as fast as possible

Amazingly efficient out of that particular corner.

There's no driver aid besides your ft and your hands.

as fast as possible.

Wow.

You got to put the oil in with the gasoline.

[ Laughs ] I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.

There's the tires.

were named after legendary Spanish fighting bulls.

The "LP" means the engine is there.

[ Tires screech ]

It's fast, it's long, and it's low.

And at just under $500,000,

well before you even get close to the end. Really?

Really? I'm in.

He short-shifted a little bit.

Love the sound of this thing.

Oh!

So, did you do it?

with the worst excuse for losing a race in a Lamborghini ever.

Take it away, Stig.

And across Ferrara: Yes!