Status
Ended
Network
Comedy Central
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 5

Aired 9 years ago - Apr 08, 2015

The guys look back at their first day of work at TelAmeriCorp.

Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 13 (S05E13) - 1
It's called, "Rawegian." I don't really have them
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- That's what's up. - Thank you, buddy.
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So you know, we bailed out. Barack Obama!
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That's my calling. That's my truth.
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- Ice is what I'm called. - Yeah, but check it out.
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- that he's got on the base-- - It's true, dude.
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The Internet and computers are for dweebs and nerds.
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Okay, thank you, everybody.
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- Rule number one, be on time. - Okay, we got nothing.
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Yes, a little, baby scorpion on your butt.
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Sorry, you need to hold on.
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and the top brass was so impressed that they promoted me.
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I am such a big fan after seeing that.
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George--he cut my joke. And it hurt.
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Very cool, very funny.
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Oh, yummy, yummy, my pee-pee is pointing at my tummy, tummy.
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Excuse me. Did you just kiss Sugar Ray?
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Wow. Okay.
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Wait a minute. Hang on. Damn door.
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- I love that show. - Yeah.
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but I can't afford to get my braces off, so...
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so why don't we get in there and attack... the phones?
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I was pissing next to a school--next to.
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- It's the suit, man. - Yeah, it's looking good.
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I was talking to Larry the Cable Ferret.
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That's great. Listen, let's talk when I get out of here, please.
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Thank you. Let's talk--
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Oh, it's right here, right here.
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I mean, he has original stuff.
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- He's a freakin' sham. - Okay.
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"Get to the chopper to make a budget meeting."
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Well, I mean, it can just be morning, yeah.
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Outline city, here we come.
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Yes--who steals his comedy from the Internet.
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Number two-- do not scream, "Bitches"!
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- I don't feel safe with him. - Yeah, don't worry about it.
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I just want to make sure that--
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You want to see my junk? Is that it?
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♪ I'll bet that he's crushing ♪
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♪ At TelAmeriCorp
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♪ Blenders, vacuums, steak knives-- ♪
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boobs, butts, cats--
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or download it? I'll put it in.
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to the geniuses that put this presentation together.
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- That's right. - Lazy Monday--Lazy Mondsy--
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Maybe we should just get it started.
Aired 9 years ago - Apr 01, 2015

After taking peyote, Adam, Blake and Ders must do some babysitting.

Aired 9 years ago - Mar 25, 2015

Adam goes into a sales slump, and Ders and Blake hire an actor to snap him out of it.

Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 1
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He said he was bathing himself in his own tears?
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Yes, you are a vision, aren't you?
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Dude, she's inviting us to the Rancho Land Booze Cruise.
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Why don't we put the reservation in his name?
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I have a micro-penis.
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and get that Top Gun hat back on that little head, huh?
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So I'm 30 pounds overweight, and I suck at life and stuff,
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You hang up. You--you hang up.
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It's--it's that simple, so if you'll excuse me.
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Is that a fat joke? 'Cause my neck's too fat?
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You freaking little groundhog of a human being--stupid.
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Hey, I heard there's buttered bread in here?
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This is he, and you can call me Dick.
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- Good-bye forever. - Hang on.
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two, I'm stupid, three, I'm fat and stupid combined.
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actually, I take it back, what I said earlier.
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That's funny.
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That is a kitchen blender and a basement blender.
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Very good.
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Who's Sadam?
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That dude, he's the truth.
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We should write pornos.
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and, like, one of his buddies.
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It's like we have two Avatar tails,
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before I invite him on the booze cruise.
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Ryan here has ran up a pretty hefty tab
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If you need me, I'm gonna be at Burger King.
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he's talking about, huh?
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Just drop Affion Crockett, and people will be with you.
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I thought you were in commercials, man.
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No, no, actually, it was a stage adaptation
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You were on Ten Items or Less?
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{pub}Welcome to the VIP chill room.
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And this is my very, very, very good buddy, Dick Blownoff.
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Yeah, I like little, tiny, like, mosquito bite-style boobs.
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ad then you can't eat dinner.
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the opposite of stuff he likes.
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- Mm. - Mm, damn it.
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- Please, this hurts. - Okay, yes.
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I'll give you a rash.
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We're not getting it; we need it; you're screwing us.
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because I was looking at some small-chested pornog,
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and make sure that you take your friends, Blake and Ders,
Aired 9 years ago - Mar 18, 2015

Ders gets upset with Adam and Blake when their trivia party interrupts his career ambitions.

Aired 9 years ago - Mar 11, 2015

Adam says goodbye to the single life with Ders and Blake.

Aired 9 years ago - Mar 04, 2015

Adam, Blake, and Ders try to get the most amount of blood for a drive.

Aired 9 years ago - Feb 25, 2015

Adam and his father risk it all to give Gramps a proper DeMamp funeral.

Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 1
Blue Knight, it's me, Blake.
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Well, yeah. That was a long time ago.
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- thank you, yes. - People are being weird.
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beer, methamphetamines,
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I'll take it from here. Hey, now!
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- Hit it! - Okay.
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He loved you all so much,
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What happened to this family? Oh, right.
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and he loved that company.
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We're gonna take the body to Aunt Patty's house
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Where did they go?
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Pizza? What do you--
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I know he started boning at 13, as DeMamps do.
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telling funny stories or banging chicks
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'cause it's not, dude.
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God damn it, Adam.
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- It's crenate! - All right, Adam.
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Yeah, Adam I got to say, this plan's stupid as hell.
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No!
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I'm--I try to be a supportive friend.
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that I can take to any one of your locations
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Screw you, you evil wizard!
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It's the exact same size pizza bag, but...
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You got to run!
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Dude, I'm not gonna knight you.
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so I'm willing do a double-cross and strike a deal with you guys.
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We made burgers in your pizza kitchen.
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and I don't want to do that because I know you're on parole.
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I can't wait to go find Ders and tell him about it.
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There it is.
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Legion of doom, bro. Just boom!
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And it was messy. He had a hairy butt crack.
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Blake, dude! I'm in a casket!
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- Never mind, I got to go. - Wait, hang on a second.
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You're just gonna sit here the whole time?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 38
and I've seen a lot of dinner theater, man.
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They had to shoot Yellow Knight?
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Unfortunately, you're in my arena now, bitch!
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No.
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You got that winched?
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Ders! Where you at, dragon?
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I know where you are! I'm coming!
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You guys are lifesavers.
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Ders, film this.
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It's DeMamps!
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dump my grandfather's ash chunks from on high,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 50
Both: Yeah!
Aired 9 years ago - Feb 18, 2015

The guys agree to hand off a mysterious package for Karl and, in turn, stage an officewide ditch day so they can stay home and make the deal.

Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 1
Okay, well I have 2,000 reasons that says otherwise.
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Oh, wow.
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You leave the box closed, you're just a friendly
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Mm, very, very, very real. It's, like, a real thing.
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which, in itself, you get extra cool points
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All right, everyone in the conference room now.
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from the burrito, and she must have seen it.
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Hear that, Tez?
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Ow. Burn notice received.
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Actually, that--that'd be great.
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What are we gonna do, man? We still need tomorrow off.
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- It's tough, right? - I hate it. I hate it.
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Nope, there's no dookie on the soap anymore.
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- What? - I need, like, a new hip name.
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WWJFP.
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Yo. Yo, hey, bro, what-- what's up, man?
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on finger foods, this rug--
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Hey. Hey.
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but it makes my feet swell up like balloons.
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All right? Come on.
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Watch me stack mad cool points with this B-boy flavor.
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That's not break dancing.
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[Laughter]
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Shots in honor of olmeck, the Mayan God of chillaxing.
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- [Phones ringing] - TelAmericorp, please hold.
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Oh, sh...
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- Hey. Waymond, give me that box. - Why?
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- Yo! - Guys, want to help?
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Maybe "chillax" means something different in his country.
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"What's in the box?"
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and this is the thanks that I get?
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Yes. You're a chick.
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Oh, Ghostman. That--I'm so sorry.
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Holy shit.
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to see what it felt like to do the crapping.
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Everyone loves gil, don't they?
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Aah, it's so hot!
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Oh! He's leaving!
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- It's not-- - I got it!
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Just put the box down. Not in the water though.
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It's a drop-off. Okay. I'm not kidding.
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Oh! Oh! Come on. Let's go.
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Colleen making more money than me.
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More like a gram-ma. Get it?
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[Panting] Hey, we're busy here.
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Oh, yeah.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 50
Aired 9 years ago - Feb 11, 2015

A wild night at a neighbor's house leads the guys to question the nature of their relationship.

Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 1
I understand you got to do what you got to do
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Av...
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Oh, I'm straight. I want to know ... is it a burden,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 4
- Sounds vaguely familiar. - Has a smell of sulphur to him.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 5
- Warned Boyd off any future pursuits. - Tight hair, bushy beard?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 6
So...
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No wonder you're scared.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 8
- Can I help you? - Where's my manners?
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- Okay. - Great.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 10
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and feeling sorry for me, and that shit gets old.
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Grady Hale and Markham, his partner,
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the only person that ever knew the name of the snitch
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you know, maybe when my cable runs out, I'll look into it.
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It's interesting.
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I know that, Art. I do.
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You take out the trash and the snake.
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♪ you try to bogard, fall back, I go hard ♪
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We can't make sense of your C.Y.A. book.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 23
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Means first offer declined, counteroffer accepted.
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We stopped by. Place burned to the concrete footings.
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You mean Occam's razor.
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I'm just saying Markham wants land,
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in the land of the Christmas tree weed, who are we to fetter progress?
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- Twisting my stomach in knots. - Running for mayor again?
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Carbon monoxide killed them both in their sleep.
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Both refused.
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and watch those girls bouncing in their skirts,
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Yet so few knew how to use it.
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You know a lot about me.
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I was married to Grady for 20 years.
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My question is this ...
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Hence mercenaries guarding a pizza place full of dough.
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Probably sooner than later. The way the smoke's blowing.
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Oh, yeah. And my price.
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we were thinking, uh, emulex?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 44
It's 16 inches of Youngstown steel, dude.
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your nuts up to a car battery. Oh! Where's my manners?
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- Trust, brother, trust. - Well, that's the thing, Wiz...
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It's too big to move, too expensive to dismantle.
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- for being abandoned. - Hell, an A-bomb could go off,
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This old pile of tungsten, this is just pure brute force.
Aired 9 years ago - Feb 04, 2015

After Adam and Ders kick Blake out of their new band, Blake declares all-out war.

Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 1
I've been doing these Jillian Michael DVDs,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 2
How 'bout we debut Menergy at the party?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 3
Uh, Blake, here's the deal.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 4
but your voice is horrific sounding.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 5
You guys backstabbed me, all right?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 6
♪ Ask you What is he doing here?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 7
I mean, even it it isn't good, you know,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 8
Blake, you get back here. You can't do this.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 9
Pincher bugs is one of them,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 10
No, that's true, Blazer. It is.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 11
'Cause I'm serious, all right?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 12
because what that snake Blake doesn't realize
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 13
Dude, your voice is awesome, man.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 14
I wish you were my dad sometimes.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 15
That's a homemade super stink bomb, dude.
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Dude, I make 'em, and I sell it to bad kids.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 17
He thinks he can replace us with some puppets?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 18
You know who it be. It's that crazy-ass mage.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 19
We don't have to do what you say.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 20
Yes, of course. Yes, I'm--
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 21
- [shouting] - Okay! Okay!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 22
Yeah, yes, I have a lot of drugs in here.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 23
I was just out here rehearsing
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 24
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- Hey, hey, hey, chill. - No. no.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 26
I was just acting like a weird--
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 27
I know what works and what doesn't, you know?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 28
You'd think he'd know a little bit about--
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 29
Blake, between me and you, there is no band without me--
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 30
I don't forget nothing.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 31
Showtime's in one hour, so we need to be very careful
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- That's how I do. - [imitating whooshing]
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 33
Yeah.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 34
You tell you what you did to these pancakes right now.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 35
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 36
Okay, well, here's one pitch why.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 37
Who put fruit in the ball return?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 38
- Velcro wall. - What's happening?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 39
Stop screaming in my ear!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 40
[cell phone jingling]
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 41
Otherwise, it's really gonna stink.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 42
Drop the hammer!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 43
ring this bell like Bart Simpson's neck?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 44
He did something to our sleeves.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 45
- Oh! - Owie.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 46
[snickers]
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 47
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 48
Let's get menergized!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 49
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 50
I'm the diva?
Aired 9 years ago - Jan 28, 2015

The guys help Ders get even with an old high school swim team rival.

Aired 9 years ago - Jan 21, 2015

In order to raise enough money for their rent, the guys create a public access wrestling show.

Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 1
I just kind of fell into that one.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 2
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 3
This is gonna be good.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 4
Let's get sweaty and wrestle!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 5
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 6
I think I'm gonna vomit.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 7
With a simple name of "Adam." Here we are. Here we are.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 8
Oh, that was awesome.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 9
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 10
The commissioner's daughter has showed up...
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 11
No, I actually want Adam to win!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 12
- No! - I'm the champion.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 13
then preorder your tickets for next week's showdown.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 14
Rentlemania is coming-oming-oming-oming.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 15
I wouldn't mind skeetering on that Patty mayonnaise.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 16
for something called Rentlemania.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 17
- Yeah. - And...
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 18
Yes!
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Yeah, we should do it, I mean,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 20
Well, I'll have my producer, who's me, set it up.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 21
Thank you.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 22
Really, the only wrestler with any personality was Eskimofo.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 23
to the strong and powerful igloo-dwelling whale riders.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 24
Why?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 25
Okay, well, and you can get the fuck out of here.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 26
- Hit the road. - It's time to go.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 27
I didn't come here to hang out. What's going on?
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 28
All right, no, guys, you can't do this.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 29
You can't tell us you don't love wrestling.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 30
It's taking all my business because everybody wants
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 31
All right? I can't have anything else go wrong.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 32
or you're evicted,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 33
we'll come and see it and talk about it.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 34
told me about that were yours.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 35
The wwfyw... whatever...
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 36
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 37
- No wrestling today, Waymond. - No!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 38
saving hundreds of Maxim models from burning in a hotel alive.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 39
But he then transformed!
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 40
but unfortunately, there's no one for you to wrestle,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 41
- Eskimofo is also dead. - Oh, my God.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 42
if you say I'm your best friend now.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 43
Just like I'm about to erase you, Catam.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 44
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 45
Whoever gets that belt first will not only get the belt,
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 46
the winner of this match.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 47
but, um... I think we're gonna finish this match.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 48
this guy tells us to do.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 49
I'm the one who's gonna enjoy ass-kicking your dumb ass asses.
Recap of Workaholics Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 50
Yeah, boy!
Aired 9 years ago - Jan 14, 2015

In the Season 5 premiere, the guys go to a job fair at North Rancho College, where Ders clashes with Coast Guard officers, while Adam and Blake pursue their dreams elsewhere on campus.