Eastbound & Down

Stevie gets a scoop on Kenny's possible competition when he hears of a promising young high school pitcher. Cassie wants to sell off all of Kenny's baseball memorabilia on the computer. Meanwhile, Kenny makes a commitment to a new exercise regimen.

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I'm gonna sell this memorabilia. We can make millions.

#2

Or just stay good at what you're doing, which is, I guess, being poor.

#3

Wayne's Triple H sweatshirt just sold for $15.

#4

...until you actually do post your things online.

#5 #6

...to move these treasures for me. I mean, think about it.

#7

I'll pay for those extra channels that I've subscribed to...

#8 #9

...is my tireless work ethic. People say Kenny is a woman hater.

#10

Not that I get high, but if I did, my shit would still believe in Jesus Christ.

#11

- What are you looking at? - Your nice hair, asshole.

#12 #13

I'm still waiting on a check, so I need you to keep floating.

#14

- A casualty of my fucking war. - Hey. Consider it done.

#15

From this moment on, you guys are no longer little kids.

#16 #17

Well, you're about to find out that I ain't like most of these damn teachers.

#18 #19 #20

- My hands were tied, man. - I understand.

#21

- You mean, like, from the store? - No, motherfucker.

#22

Obviously, I'm not gonna need steroids once I'm fucking in shape.

#23

Did the damn zero key get stuck, honey? Good Lord.

#24

...maybe we should use the bids to, like, drive the price up.

#25 #26

...in the goddamn World Series. I've autographed each of them.

#27

- I thought you said he was serious, man. - Chaz, you need to get to class.

#28

I can roll with that. Well, April, since you're so concerned...

#29 #30 #31

Don't tell me what to do.

#32 #33 #34 #35

Strike three! You're out!

#36

...don't ever fucking second-guess me, all right? Rule number one.

#37

Yeah, I'm pretty much re-engineering man's approach to pitching...

#38

Well, that's good for you then there, Kenny.

#39 #40

- You don't got a clue, bro. - No, I got the clue.

#41

You're too old, you're too fat and you're too damn stupid.

#42 #43

- Kenny- - Okay.

#44 #45

Do you know how many pitchers hit home runs in the majors?

#46

It's been a while since you've been on top.

#47

Yeah, sure, your past is valuable, because it made you who you are today...

#48

One thing each, boys. Wayne, one thing, not two.

#49

Wayne, you might- There's some Kenny Powers cookies in there.

#50