Status
Ended
Network
HBO
SEASON
EPISODE

Comedy

DESCRIPTION

Years after he turned his back on his hometown, a burned-out major league ballplayer returns to teach phys ed at his old middle school.

Season 1

Aired 11 years ago - Mar 22, 2009

Kenny gets an offer from a professional team and is forced to say goodbye to his family and teaching job.

Recap of Eastbound & Down Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 1
...what Tampa can offer you.
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Well, to tell you the truth, I've changed a lot since I left baseball.
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-So you ready to get down with this party? -I'm ready to butt-fuck this party.
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-But you already bought a car? -Bought?
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I made the mistake of leaving you behind before...
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Just let it soak in. You don't have to give me an answer right now. Just sleep on it.
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...please let a member of the faculty know.
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Now, my replacement comes very highly qualified.
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...because I don't wanna have to ask the same question 30 fucking times.
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It's all happening, Kenny.
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You know what I read online?
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...because I'm going to Tampa to suck some titties.
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How our journey here is basically coming to an end.
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...I could pay you back for what you've done for me here.
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That's not the only trick Kenny Powers has up his sleeve this eve.
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...but things are different now.
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Like I can roll the fucking dice.
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I get it.
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I've been a little bit upset. I've mostly been out in the woods.
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You didn't say it. No. I just heard you kissed her.
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Kenny, I don't know how--
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-Right. -Getting drunk on the reg...
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Guess that's just the way this fucked-up world works.
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You and me at Mons Venus, baby.
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No-- What? But you--
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What--? What did I do?
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Quite frankly, you're somebody I'm proud to know.
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I don't want you to perform this task as my assistant.
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Students and faculty of Jefferson Davis Middle School...
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She has instead chosen to stay here with her fiancé...
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There's a whole bunch of emotions and kind of questions.... Okay.
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...I would finally appreciate it.
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You can't see me, but you can feel me.
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To be honest with you, sometimes I even forgot you even existed.
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In the computer room.
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I know that deep inside of you there's a humongous set of testicles...
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Thank you.
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I don't know, I think I'm fired. We'll see.
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Perfect. That sounds terrific.
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 15, 2009

Kenny decides to give up on his dream of returning to professional baseball. Meanwhile, arrogant car dealer Ashley comes back into the picture.

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-Yeah, it-- -Are you retarded? Are you stupid?
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No. That-- He-- I'm sorry too. A reality show would be really cool for you.
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...of you throwing that cinder block through that BMW window.
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Wow, pretty impressive.
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It's been a long time since I've seen you around.
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No, there's not gonna be any goddamn face-off, all right?
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...and I'm not gonna break it for the sake of capitalism.
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... human trafficking...
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That's his enemy. His enemy.
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This is not about you, it's about me.
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Right now that's a battle I don't think I can win.
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...and let me kind of just contemplate on my own pains and sorrows right now...
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-Just like you guys. -Hey, listen.
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-I stopped us before things got out of hand. -A lot of men do what you did, so--
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Oh, of course. I understand that. Yes. Yep.
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Then again, maybe not.
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Can we take care of this shit out back?
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People don't wanna see a washed-up party animal.
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Well, I'm happy for you, Kenny, man.
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Forecast is for snow treats. Let's roll, baby.
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...about some pitch-off between you and Kenny Powers.
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-What's this about a pitch-off? -Nothing.
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-Teaching school? -Well, if it isn't Ass and Wipe.
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Want that job done faster? Do it your fucking self. We're leaving.
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Fucking rednecks.
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Look whose mama let him come out and play today.
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This is what I'm talking about, a fucking showdown.
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...you two becoming one.
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...right here at the one and only Ashley Schaeffer BMW.
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-Okay, good luck. -Okay, goodbye.
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Well, man, that shit's hard to get on short notice.
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I never really left.
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...all the way to the plate there, okay?
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...then the same everyday Ashley Schaeffer BMW famous low prices, okay?
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I feel 10 feet tall right now...
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-You came. -Here we go, Kenny, here we go.
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 08, 2009

Kenny attends a BBQ at April and Terrence's house where his romantic feelings for April intensify. Later, Stevie puts together a DVD of Kenny's greatest moments in the hopes that the major leagues will notice.

Recap of Eastbound & Down Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 1
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Hey, loser! Eyes fucking down! Have some respect for Coach Powers!
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What's going on out here? You gentlemen teaching a joint class out here or...?
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I'm busting your chops, fella.
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I guess I'm starting to and I don't like it. I'll see you later, Kenny.
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This weekend at my house. You don't know about this?
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-lt gives the contrast of a nice blue sky. -Beat it, Kyle.
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Why don't you start by trying to tell me what you were supposed to?
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You're invited. It's on Saturday.
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So she forgot to invite you. Why would you want to go anyway?
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As if their fucking cookout is any sort of big thing.
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...fucking Puerto Rican chicks showing their pussies and tits off everywhere.
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I don't want no pussy-getting-wet dresses for this cookout.
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...and one of us shoplifts their shit from Fashion Bug. That's what I know.
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Yeah, l-- I thought it was just gonna be VlPs, but it--
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You're not gonna know Cutler's triathlon people.
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He's my boss, so don't try to suck him off.
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You and me are the only cool people here. Everybody here is just a bunch of posers...
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Hot kind of pepper. I've lost a few pounds--
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Excuse me, can I have everybody's attention?
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You are about to see the most exciting promotional video...
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How do you know Kenny?
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Hey, you know what, though? I do have a paddle. I have a big--
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-Fuck me. -I want you.
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Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
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No, I'm not your boss, but Kenny is and I'm more important than you in Kenny's life...
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Okay, you know what? I think that you've had enough.
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Hey, hey. Lower the tone, Cutler.
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-Throw us a curveball. -You don't smoke.
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He said you work for him now because you're jack shit.
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...Buddha, L. Ron, whoever.
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Because that's just the way shit works sometimes.
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I mean, at a certain point, I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
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...or to throw a fucking ball fast, or to not prematurely come in my pants.
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 01, 2009

Stevie gets a scoop on Kenny's possible competition when he hears of a promising young high school pitcher. Cassie wants to sell off all of Kenny's baseball memorabilia on the computer. Meanwhile, Kenny makes a commitment to a new exercise regimen.

Recap of Eastbound & Down Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 1
That is a foam middle finger. How many of those do we have?
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I'm gonna sell this memorabilia. We can make millions.
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Or just stay good at what you're doing, which is, I guess, being poor.
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Wayne's Triple H sweatshirt just sold for $15.
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...until you actually do post your things online.
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...to move these treasures for me. I mean, think about it.
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I'll pay for those extra channels that I've subscribed to...
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...is my tireless work ethic. People say Kenny is a woman hater.
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Not that I get high, but if I did, my shit would still believe in Jesus Christ.
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- What are you looking at? - Your nice hair, asshole.
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I'm still waiting on a check, so I need you to keep floating.
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- A casualty of my fucking war. - Hey. Consider it done.
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From this moment on, you guys are no longer little kids.
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Well, you're about to find out that I ain't like most of these damn teachers.
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- My hands were tied, man. - I understand.
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- You mean, like, from the store? - No, motherfucker.
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Obviously, I'm not gonna need steroids once I'm fucking in shape.
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Did the damn zero key get stuck, honey? Good Lord.
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...maybe we should use the bids to, like, drive the price up.
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...in the goddamn World Series. I've autographed each of them.
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- I thought you said he was serious, man. - Chaz, you need to get to class.
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I can roll with that. Well, April, since you're so concerned...
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Don't tell me what to do.
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Strike three! You're out!
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...don't ever fucking second-guess me, all right? Rule number one.
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Yeah, I'm pretty much re-engineering man's approach to pitching...
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Well, that's good for you then there, Kenny.
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- You don't got a clue, bro. - No, I got the clue.
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You're too old, you're too fat and you're too damn stupid.
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- Kenny- - Okay.
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Do you know how many pitchers hit home runs in the majors?
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It's been a while since you've been on top.
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Yeah, sure, your past is valuable, because it made you who you are today...
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One thing each, boys. Wayne, one thing, not two.
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Wayne, you might- There's some Kenny Powers cookies in there.
Aired 11 years ago - Feb 22, 2009

Kenny tries to make extra money by pitching himself as spokesman for a luxury car dealership; Kenny and his driver make an appearance at the middle school dance.

Aired 11 years ago - Feb 15, 2009

Burned out and broke, former big-league pitcher Kenny Powers returns home to North Carolina to teach PE at the local middle school he once attended. Wreaking havoc at school, around town and at the home of his brother Dustin, Kenny settles into his role as the town's loose-cannon agitator, setting his sights on winning back his high-school flame April, now a teacher engaged to the school principal, Terrence Cutler. MORE -LESS