Alone Together

Esther and Benji try to stop Jeff from becoming a boring couples-person by hijacking his Big Bear couples retreat.

Esther and Benji reconnect at a birthday party after a three-month-long fight. Both learn about each other's weird romantic mishaps during their time apart.

- What's your job? - I'm a sheriff.

Jeff, what's up, dude!

No worries, dude. If you want, I've got a house close by.

We'll move down the beach a little bit!

Do you also bring ranch salt

Bag. Chicago. Sausage.

Come on. I mean, you just seamlessly worked "sausage"

Have you tried coconut oil?

I was doing sea yoga, and you were strangling me.

- Yeah. - OK.

That's my go-to gift idea.

Do you want to blame us for that, too?

I'm in a woman's robe right now.

and I think I can work with you.

Mmm. Boxed potatoes, baby.

I just remembered that I have a little surprise.

The baby was too much. I'm so stupid.

but it turns out, they went with Robert Downey Junior Junior.

But even that is kinda pathetic.

so that I could fit the face changing app onto it.

Hey, you must be the monkey groomer.

There's no Benji here on set.

Why would you want to go to Australia?

That feels good.

Thank you very much, though! Bye-bye!

when Mr. Wisconsin Cheese Boy

Oh, thank you.

You guys are the most self-centered people I have ever met.

and... I couldn't do it.

but she wants our relationship to go somewhere

Right, but I'm also concerned it might physically hurt.

pull on a piece of yarn to make it flush.

for six months out of the year.

Every day is a special occasion.

You don't even need, like, a degree or a license or anything.

But you're not gonna take it, 'cause we're gonna move.

OK, what?

to be dating. I'm sorry. I still want to be friends.

Esther and Benji get their first writing room gig on the Dog Awards. Benji thinks it will be his launching pad for success, while Esther hopes to use the platform to raise dog awareness.

- Oh, yeah. - Oh, my God!

This is amazing, but whose leg do I have to hump

The less people watch TV, the worse the spread gets.

No, but I got Tweets. Are you trying to jam on some stuff? No? OK.

What's your secret?

And then he barks the lyrics

wiener dogs come out in bikinis.

Oh, shoot. Sorry.

Sorta like that.

I mean, that's very nice, Esther,

- Like "pug life." - That's my guy right there!

Next day trying to figure out

He... He seems really upset.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

and then I found out he was charging me $800 an hour.

all these dog jokes, and what we should be doing

because extra guac will not be a problem.

four high heels, or just two?

Benji, I don't touch outdated media.

Great, and, uh, Game of Barks.

We might be calling it "Barkbucks".

You guys remember "Yo quiero"?

she wants to throw away all of my old yearbooks.

And first we have Chi Chi.

Butter... epileptic Pomeranian.

You are so passionate about this project.

I understand.

I'm not, but I do think I deserve one more than Fuzz.

Anyone. Just pitch something.

- Yeah. - I heard, on the set of "Snow Dogs 2,"

So, in this idea that you came up with,

but she hasn't lost her ability to make people smile.

She's got no legs.

Every award show I've written for has been rigged.

I can't believe Jim stole my binder.

I am getting major Ruth Bader Ginsburg vibes.

They have to be really careful, especially after the Oscars screw-up.

of the awar... I'm kidding. Screw this place.

I don't know what you're trying to pull,

I feel like the dogs in my hot dog sketch aren't reading as hot.

- Four legs, you might say. - Ah, four legs!

in beautiful Van Nuys, California.

Oh, I'm pretty settled right now, but any minute,

Bro, I stole your binder, 'cause that's how it works.

Oh, we got a lot of production value goin' on here.

Guys, guys, listen. That was the network.

Esther's mom pays a surprise visit because she's concerned about Esther's life choices. Meanwhile, Benji tries to make some new Goth friends that end up being a little too risqué for his taste.

Benji is asked to supervise rehearsals for his former high school's play, but realizes that he hasn't outgrown high school when he comes across a bully. Esther tags along in the hopes of inspiring some drama kids.

Some of you might recognize me, or maybe you've heard of me

- What? - Anyways...

Now, did someone here order some journals

Elegant Partygoer was elegant. She went to parties.

Oh, um... That one's actually mine.

I'm sorry. We're doing a theatre exercise.

- Thank you. - And in a messed-up society

Uh, I don't think clapping at my peers

- A professional. - It's impressive.

Not to mention, if we're playing the name-dropping game,

Thanks! You are, like, such a cool grown-up!

I found her, Benji.

- I couldn't stop. - Oh, my God.

I would have dreams as Jew Number Four.

Logan, I can't hear you.

I love what you're doing, but... How do I put this?

Tulips! Huh! Puppies! Huh! You see that? Loud, not angry.

I didn't say anything!

Not every baby can latch, OK? And for the record,

I've always wanted a reason to say this.

Let's try something. Stacie, take a seat for a second.

- What? - Yeah, why not!

But my grandparents are driving in from Arizona!

Although, some of those breast feeding details were a little bit graphic.

because it's the anniversary of my parents' divorce.

I had no idea you were dealing with all that.

See? I'm an amazing actor.

Yes. And then Romeo says whatever, and great job.

OK, yeah, I don't care about Jane. Logan's my problem.

I didn't sign that, no. I have a thing against waivers.

There's no fast food allowed in Beverly Hills.

That's a bad idea.

we're on a stakeout, and I need you here in case things escalate.

Jeff, stop being so weird, OK?

I'm Romeo! Come find me!

"There rust and yet me..."

- "Ouch!" - "Ouch!"

Hey, what's up? I have great news.

Hey, Midriff. You seen Jane?

Logan. I can't believe this is our last time hanging out.

Maybe you'll end up in the Reseda High production of "The Lion King."

Just... don't disrespect me,

You must be Jane's mom. I'm Esther.

My parents held me back, too. Let me guess...

If you... would... just... First, can you hand over Jane?

Uh, what?

Benji and Esther steal a day pass from Dean and gain access to an exclusive upscale gym. Esther meets a poised and successful woman named Nora who inspires her to join her club, while Dean is excited by Benji's sudden fitness enthusiasm and takes him under his wing.

Shut up.

You know, I'm actually having some people over tonight.

is sometimes, we forget to laugh.

Eh. So you guys are barefoot in a sauna

OK, maybe just sit quietly, and don't talk.

And now I am, 'cause you brought it up, and they're nice.

Life comes at you quick, and before you know it,

I mean, usually, you're just, like,

- All right, cool. - All right.

this is sort of a political piece.

[LAUGHS] Funny.

What a terrific month it's been!

you sign up to sell, the more money flows up to you!

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

I'm gonna go ahead and move forward.

That's what I call Nordstrom Rack.

- Oh, thank you. - In all honesty,

is 'cause I got stuck at a Carmax.

Um...

I mean, your mom clearly had an affair with Rob Schneider.

Look, man. We're not going anywhere.

Whole Foods is crushing you in this sector.

and the other is next to a Yoshinoya Beef Bowl.

Really? You know RAWATER?

OK, well, I guess you can put me down for... 30 cases?

Hey! Grab your hair dryer, and blow dry your hair.

that's gonna help you guys out.

Hey, guys, what's up? We're with the Township Tools.

That was so sick, man!

She just sold 30 cases.

Whoa! I think I just dilated a little.

That's great! So, all you have to do

It was more of like a spritz, you know? I was pinned down, squirmin' a lot.

I need your key fob.

Dude, there's not casual after that just happened.

just one specific item, RAWATER, for me and my family, um...

Have you even heard of paella?

Well... do you want to go to my gym? They just reopened.

Alia fired me because of a Yoshinoya Beef Bowl?

She drinks it up like a hot rich fish.

Uh, well, you know,

Yes! And just like that,

No way. The second I get a liver spot on my shaft,

Yeah. You do look like a housekeeper.

You know... I got this, Dean.

Just a... That was a tap.

Well, you know what, Mrs. Dandino, I'd love to see you write a skinny "B."

Dean has Benji sell a house where a murder took place.

What are you doing? Stop. Bringing. Up. The murder.

do you know where the body was actually found?

Aah! She fell right here, and she died.

Are you working with an agent, or...?

- Um... - That's a "no."

Do you really think the girl with sticky jelly hands

But we have a group discount, how many?

We made $160 on accident!

Um, my MySpace pull has kind of dwindled, as you know.

Except for "Babe, Pig in the City."

River Phoenix died in '93. That stone has been bled dry.

15 bucks and a trip to a hardware store, I'll build a ramp so smooth,

If I wanted to see a regular person die,

You got me dressed up as some old white lady's trashy older brother.

Also, if Jeff's gonna jump out of a closet, can I wear these?

Um, listen, I don't want to cause any trouble,

but a woman died here. And we owe it to her memory to get this right.

Well, I thought that your vampire teeth were very sexy.

I just fliered where creepy people hang out.

Ah! Ah! What the hell?

What is this?

Elma, girl, I'm sorry, and it won't happen again.

And now, the culmination of that horrible night,

Elma's mysterious - yet, mysteriously beautiful - neighbor.

barking, yip-yip-yap all day.

Not a cup of... murder!

A little bit of wine, a little bit of sex.

She got it all! She didn't care none

Not my death day!

I can't believe we pulled it off. Pretty soon, instead of

We'll do notes in five.

that somebody died right here in this house.

Who would have spoken at my high school assembly?

Cinemark polo shirts to get into movies for free.

The wiring is all up to code. We're gonna get that railing fixed.

You're a fun guy, James. Very spry.

I can just run to my office and print up another one.

Let him pet their hair, or...

Can you just block a driveway?

but unfortunately, we gotta end our murder business. I gotta sell the house.

I'm just good with characters.

- What are you doing? - Saving you.

but I needed to get in the house to test out my theories.

felt like the weakest part of your show.

Benji steps up to help Dean at work but isn't valued.

I don't want you to do that.

I'll see ya later!

Why do you look and smell like a man with a job?

See? I'm embarrassing, but not always embarrassing.

Oh, aren't these sick?

important international business-y... business.

- [ICE CLINKING IN GLASS] - Benji, you need to be quiet, OK?

You could kill an innocent Spaniard with one

- I don't remember hearing that. - I mean... it was on my table.

Um... yeah. Uh, come on in.

My brother does not want you help.

there's anything else in your purse that needs batteries.

Um, you may be noticing that one of my many talents

OK, that's what happens when you try to escape me.

- I'm not tellin', you know? - [LAUGHS] That's not even...

Three point five million, I'm the man! Yes!

I... I can handle one question at a time.

We're just an ocean waiting to happen.

You know, he could learn a thing or two from you.

- Are you OK? - No, I'm not OK.

It's an ice cube.

Hey, who do you think's hotter, Olivia H. Or Olivia R.?

Soup time's over. I'll be right back.

and then I stepped in, saved the day, charmed 'im.

Yeah, this is... I mean, this house is OK.

And I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. Mainly because I'm laid up here.

I almost took the test once.

What is this? There's like, no... It's all seeds.

to grab any of the popcorn wherever I put my hand,

there's a wall-to-wall seed bed.

Look, just... this is the makeover montage,

I'm lubricating my throat. This is what George Harrison did

like, basically, in a solid pre-cuddle,

Oh, my God. Broken Dean isn't hot,

[BLOWS VUVUZELA]

- [VUVUZELA BLOWS] - OK.

Actually, I want the humidifier in Benji's room.

have enough cash in their pocket to get Nic Cage out of debt.

Going twice.

Bid, bid, bid, bid! But six hundred is our max.

I know you're sitting down. That was a dumb question.

Any house you bid on has gotta be worth more than market.

I can't hear you. There's, like, construction or something.

to figure this out. Give me my phone!

This isn't you. This is not the Dean I fell in love with.

Esther gets a big break at her new job, a 50s diner.

Have you thought that maybe you're not that cool...?

I having trouble hearing the haters right now!

- and can spin a basketball on his nose. - I'm getting them!

Are you telling me that in the nonsense reality

Damn, Neel, you've got the goods.

So please do better. This isn't a Johnny Rockets, OK?

to someone like me who's tryin' to break in?

Ana-heim? Is that the same as "Anaheim"?

I can't dance on those tables

Benji, Neel is so down-to-earth.

that little Caleb is our Chuck Berry birthday boy!

Your mom's cold-feeding you trans fats.

[NEEL SOBBING]

He could have weak ankles, like me.

may your ashes return into the salted waters that gave you to us.

And so, Pootie, farewell.

one of the most sought-after saltwater fish on the planet.

You gotta just grab whatever joy you can

That fish cost $1400 and you gotta pay for it!

You've gotta have liability insurance.

[PLAYS MULTIPLE AIR HORNS]

Cool, cool. Neither did Basquiat.

I guess I'm down to collab.

Well, traditionally, a tang fish has a black oval body

[POLICE SIREN CONTINUES]

Sure, it's still nice to be bringing

Less blab-y, more bus-y.

or obsessed and imagined that this could happen to me.

That's very sweet of you.

Yeah! And Neel is.... He's doing good.

OK, so, my tag is being misconstrued

Oh, and don't forget, if you tag "@Supertrill" on the 'grams,

Oh, it's 10% off, and I love coupons.

for supportin' my store, and comin' to check out my art.

And when ya take Street Benji's tag,

And I don't want to freak you out,

[GASPS] Anaheim Garden Walk?

You know what? Jimmy Fifties, if he did exist,

Whatever happens today is your destiny.

Wait, no, I... I think I changed my mind.

Again, Stainz, you've been heard, and you've been rejected.

I painted this, so y'all are both wack.

Annette, we both know there's only one customer

OK, listen up. This is your moment, and I want you to take it.

And while I have you, what are dreams?

Esther tries to recover her Bitcoin money from an ex.

You're so still, but... violent.

Hey, guys! It's the Esther Bunny!

Plus, I dropped my webcam in fondue.

It was a Tempur-Pedic seat, so nobody was hovering.

Speaking of which, what just happened here?

That probably wasn't worth much back then,

and I have decided that I'm going to be smart with my money.

Usually when someone invites me to dinner from acting class,

Benji, this is what Dean was talking about.

Really, Tara? I take middle booth, and this is how you do me?

there is a dark side to sudden windfalls, you know.

Wait, where did you say there was pizza?

I'll give you some more time.

Um, I understand what you're saying, but I think you're confusing Tara.

uh, bitcoin wallet. You just have to enter your password.

If I had my grandma's credit card, I wouldn't eat at a dump like this.

No.

I can't let it go, OK? I lied! I was gonna build a Graceland replica.

Ooh, 2012.

I mean, you have it organized, but it still seems like it's dangerous.

He was not sweet.

somewhere I knew he would never throw it away.

This requires strategy.

Then I'll just fake a coughing spasm and ask for a Mountain Dew,

Dude, the guy that you let in wasn't a cyclist, OK?

Guy's been active in the neighborhood.

They took four Rolexes.

You're not a nice guy, man! OK? It's not that you're nice.

She's not answering my calls, and you said he was hostile.

Go help your friend, asshole.

Wow, Jason. You look really...

Yeah, you know what, actually, I will take that.

even when someone's trying to drag me down.

- What? -The one you took right before she died.

- Well, then, what do you want, Esther? - I want...

- I was? - Yeah.

Jason?

All right, you crossed the line, dude.

because you wrote a password on the last remaining photo of my me-maw?

because if a hamster could give consent,

OK, fine. But he has to watch. Then I'll know for sure.

OK.

They remove the tails for you. You know? And they put in chicken and shrimp.

from all the shrimp they eat.

Esther's the best thing that's ever happened to me,