Young Sheldon

This university relies on donations for everything.

And when you go to dinner, wear real pants.

- What is it? - Like a school function.

You know you can't go to a dance.

they'll all be dancing while you just stand there?

Why don't you look in the glovebox

You get red wine and then tomato sauce.

Now, what do you think young people

It'll be weird if I'm there.

And I hope they give you all the bananas you can eat.

I'll think about it.

Can I put on the game?

How'd you get Mom to let you?

I don't think there is one.

What is it?

He made all of his money selling antistatic furniture

What if he says something I think is ridiculous?

I'm good.

Okay. I'm in.

That's how I feel when I'm watching Top Gun.

At his shop, he has a calendar with a bikini lady on it.

Quantum mechanics. That describes

I have a nightlight that looks like Spider-Man,

Thank you for your hospitality.

"David danced

Did you show your sister Footloose?

You're shaking his hand.

Didn't he go crazy and save his pee in jars?

Yeah, those don't have an open bar.

Hi, Justin. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

I had an obligation to fulfill.

You think I'm eating dinner with my mom on a Saturday night?

You know I can't do that.

So I'm supposed to just let her do

Oh, I've been cutting his mom's hair for years.

Okay, so what is it you do, Langston?

It's actually getting really popular.

the grand unified field theory.

Wait, no,

It seems like it's all about me.

It is too early in the morning for you.

You're a child.

I hear you're going through some sort of existential crisis.

I went through something similar once.

I tried to lick the normal one,

But the point is,

I appreciate the call.

I don't think I do.

He took a philosophy class and won't get out of bed

Already?

Let's not have another.

Oh. Good.

- Although, does... - And before you say

I might pop in and say hello.

Now you don't care about football?

So,

by "m" times a velociraptor.

Philosophy.

Hi. I'm Connie Tucker.

I don't know what's gotten into that kid.

Team sports provides confidence, leadership, discipline.

I still think you should have read The Color Purple.

Not your best lecture.

Hello, Connie. What a pleasant surprise.

The class is called "Introduction to Philosophy."

You see what you've done? You broke him.

You have the right words.

It's what gets me out of bed.

Yes. And your perfume is beguiling.

you could study both.

I've only been a philosopher for 15 minutes.

That's the face.

I don't want to play football. I want to work.

Do whatever you want.

that the best way of life is a return to the past.

Altruism is the belief that we should live

before Sheldon starts college.

Well, for me, that is.

Which is humorous

Hold on.

And I feel terrible about it, but...

to hear him freak out when you tell him.

Did you know Dr. Sturgis was taking a new job?

I was counting on him to be there for Sheldon.

I mean, I know we're not dating anymore,

I want to make a good impression.

what you'll wear to middle school.

I agree about the lines, but what do you mean "we"?

I'm sure you are.

Not all the way there.

Oh...

Sheldon just learned to talk and said,

Mary and I have not had

"I'm Free" by The Soup Dragons playing...

Which is another way of saying we're poor.

with temps reaching a high of 97.

What brings you here?

Well, I don't know Sheldon well, but he can be a little...

Come on. I'll buy you a school shirt.

Wow, you're really getting this together fast.

Absolutely.

The doctors could tell us we were having twins,

I ran into Sam.

Worth every penny.

But not like you older, right?

Mm-hmm.

Adorable.

is doing a back-to-school barbecue this afternoon.

But just as Edison had forged ahead

it was soon replaced with anger at Whitcomb L. Judson,

That don't mean nothing.

my briefcase was equipped for any emergency.

Two months!

Oh, it's neat as neat can be, but you know