Aired 6 years ago - Jan 25, 2018
Diana St. Tropez returns with good news for "The Breakdown" staff: Fenton Pelt has agreed to drop his lawsuit on the condition that Chuck Pierce deliver a humiliating on-air apology and resign from news forever. Chuck, defeated, agrees, until Portia
reminds him why he got into journalism in the first place. With Chuck's final broadcast approaching, Katie convinces Carol to reunite for one last job, and they race against the clock to find the one person in New Jersey who could disprove Fenton Pelt's claims and save the show.
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I just have to be careful with Cat.
I'm supposed to be on the show tonight?
I even went to an apple orchard.
Why else would I be here, you knucklehead?
Maybe we should talk it over first.
This will be my final broadcast.
And to be honest, I'm glad he did.
Really? When was it?
Wait. Who said that?
Any luck finding Fenton
Pelt's business partner?
Okay, so, let me see.
this isn't how I pictured
this moment happening.
She thanks him silently,
I'm taping my last show tonight.
Yet, here we both are.
so I brought you some
salted caramel meatballs.
who's always talking about these meatballs.
Hey!
Now, wait, wait, that sounds like work.
Okay, just one last
job before my retirement!
Okay, if you want to
find anyone in New Jersey,
You know, when we lived in Parsippany,
Whoo! Ha!
deli man's friend.
You and me, cracking
stories, like Rizzoli & Isles.
No, Mom, you were not the problem.
I did a journalism.
that on your last show,
for Katie and Carol
like your News Emmy for Clunkiest Segue.
Woodrow Wilson!
Did you do this?
Okay, everybody. Grab your snacks.
D-d-d-don't. Don't
look. Don't look.
Alison Abramson Jr. Kofi Annan.
Uh, so, therefore,
He has been blathering for hours!
I can't, Katie.
There's a voice in your
head that keeps telling you
We're gonna need a new topic.
I have, uh, no more t-topics.
who sits on my feet when I'm cold,
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 18, 2018
After an explosive fight with her daughter, Carol is excited about her new position at "Morning Wined Up," but is disappointed to realize that the job offers less responsibility than she had hoped. Katie is determined to bring down Fenton Pelt, the
billionaire suing "The Breakdown," despite specific orders from Greg and the network's attorney to leave him alone. When Katie's rousing speech about journalistic integrity fails to inspire anyone but Chuck, who has been suspended from the show, she reluctantly joins forces, only to find that his investigative skills aren't what they used to be.
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Oh, sure, it'll blow over
no more reporting on him or his companies.
You're not even supposed
to be in the building.
Wait, what's a high tech tomato garden?
I'm trying to get you guys fired up.
Well, it's not a comedy act, so...
Not Chuck Pierce the
investigative reporter.
Also, I think I sold my
kidney to a guy in the Ukraine.
Stan, I need everything
you have on Fenton Pelt...
Uh, yes, exactly...
Yeah, got it.
For like an hour?
Portia, you're just
inventing the newspaper.
Well, that's exactly what I want.
No, I am.
What if, instead of having
the soldier come home,
♪ And we can build this thing together ♪
I'm never gonna get on the fast track
Um, okay, now where's the thing?
My blazer is from Chico's
Urban Menopause Collection.
The show could use your unique perspective.
know to go to the Public Library
Look at his head. It's
a pile of little boxes.
Every time I turn out the
lights I hear this weird sound,
Pelt didn't shoot a lion. He shot A. Lyon.
This one is called "The Big Kahuna."
This could take him down for good.
Sorry, I don't understand
what's so complicated about it.
I was tired, and hungry,
and grasping at straws.
Well, if these last two
days have taught me anything,
You can't just put any idiot on TV.
so I had to register as
"John Carol Wendelson."
I can finish it, but
I need you to start it.
Carol, what'd you
think of the movie?
Anyway, overall, I give
it a five stars up.
Ugh. I have to tell her.
or Little Rusty, the dummy that
belonged to the ventriloquist
Are you?
did you get a chance to go
over the Anthony Lyon stuff?
And it's not that complicated.
I'll be fine either way,
Oh, nothing?
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 11, 2018
When "The Breakdown" staff finds themselves embroiled in a lawsuit with eccentric billionaire Fenton Pelt, Chuck is convinced he can solve the problem. But when Chuck's attempts to save the show backfire, he enlists the gang's help to pull off an
elaborate heist. Meanwhile, after realizing that she has feelings for Greg, Katie is determined not to make a move on her unavailable boss. Her intentions are put to the test, however, when Diana St. Tropez demands that the two spend the night together fact-checking a story.
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Here...
Whoa! You can control
the lights?
Isn't he that crazy
tech billionaire
They're gonna laugh at me
until I cry.
You two need to review
every scrap of evidence
Hey, Greg,
I'm in a committed
relationship with Cat,
Another smash hit from Carol
and the Liars from their EP,
Okay, I have that.
Father Kevin said
I was waiting for your call.
men of means who enjoy
a good midday martini.
You don't remember me, do you?
and discovered that Fenton Pelt
I ate ham salad off of Gloria's
bare breasts that night.
I don't get math.
I went to school in the 2000s
I kept losing her
in low stakes poker games.
because I'd forgotten
it was stem cells...
So you're just gonna
hang us out to dry?
He'd kill the guy
with his trident!
and make him leave us alone.
- Well, that was a fun show!
- Yeah!
but I'm looking to take
my next step.
that you had sex with Wee Man.
Wait... What?
They actually call me that?
Okay, fine. I'll take it off.
Get it together, Wendelson!
Your relationship will be doomed
I know the place where
sex goes to die.
but it's so much cooler
here than the office.
Here we are!
until this lawsuit is resolved.
Well, I guess I'll go to bed.
Gene has procured a blueprint
of the sewer system
Then Justin and I will arrive
disguised as plumbers.
What electrician
would cut power, Beth?
If this mission goes right,
In and out.
Don't be
nice to me right now.
Why does everybody
know that about me?
I'm a registered
security professional
No fair! I'm too fat to run!
I'm going to make this right.
- Katie...
- No!
I have sisters.
This is the worst way
to start a relationship.
Back in 1977,
I lied on the air.
The lawsuit is still on.
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 04, 2018
Carol hatches a plan to get Katie to admit her feelings for her boss; Chuck finds himself an unwitting champion of the alt-right.
- I know! I'd always pictured
- Oh, look at that!
You rolled your eyes.
I've been wearing
the same green tie all week.
- What?
- Here, take a look.
- I brought Cat here
to take your blinders off.
- Mom, please don't
do anything to Cat,
♪ And guess what kind
of party it is ♪
Oh!
Wait, Greg, Greg, Greg!
I wish we had more time to talk.
- Dog!
- One! Yay!
- Of course, but I want fans
- That ball is in deep to center.
he clearly just wants
to be a pornographer.
- Oh, relax, okay? We're
gonna have a nice lunch.
Greg and I met the week after
my grandmother died.
So they're chanting,
"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,"
Oh, my God, are you crying?
it reminds me
that Christmas is real.
Before we say good night,
I just want to take a moment
a $25 gift card to Coconuts.
Congratulations, Chuck.
- Oh, just for this one thing.
- I... don't,
but I'll be damned
- Perfect for each other?
Oh, the story of how they met
is so romantic.
If Cat and Greg
were really soul mates,
P.U. That gift stinks.
Hey, Greg. Sorry to jump in
- Aww...
- That was bad
and uncomfortable.
my CVS ExtraCare card.
a couple of Internet trolls
Surprise!
♪ You know our love
was meant to be ♪
♪ From tonight until
the end of time ♪
- Okay, I can see how
this could look bad,
- Look, I know you claim
not to have any opinions,
So, we are celebrating
one cool dude.
♪ Oak tree, you're in my way ♪
♪ Ooh, that smell ♪
We all went out. We heard that woman
Yeah, I'm... I'm out.
so what side are you on?
Aired 6 years ago - Dec 28, 2017
Carol is devastated to learn that her parents are getting a divorce after 70 years of marriage. Katie, still hurting from her breakup with Jeremy, is convinced that love is dead, but Carol is determined to prove that it's never too late to have a
happy ending. Meanwhile, Chuck discovers that the reason for Justin's newfound happiness is the cute new barista at the coffee shop and proceeds to compete for her affection at the expense of his and Justin's friendship.
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And you have his same beautiful smile.
Maybe see a dead body.
Eh, I could hit that.
Wait, what?
Did you go out last night without me?
And Grammy, why are you here?
and now that I'm in college,
All right.
If I could get a second chance at life,
- Nope, that's not...
- Mom!
Man, you're a real piece of work.
He was just her Mr. Right Now.
what are you looking for in a man?
You are so negative, like
that mean psychic who said
Oh, come on! I just got a bikini wax.
but there are also people living here.
Wait, this is the house?
just goes under my voice-over,
You did that to yourself, pal.
Hey, guys, who's up for some
Wait, no, no, no! We were
just about to get crazy.
and they brought freaking Angie.
Mom, you gotta get out of here, okay?
You know what her heart is probably saying?
Katherine. Portia.
My mom is out of control.
I'm just sick of people
Snapchatting my every move
Look, I love my life, but sometimes,
you don't even hear me.
I am so sorry about last night.
She's dead, but she's been
appearing in my dreams,
thanks to the network's
out-of-court settlement.
or bringing him homemade empanadas
with life experience like me
Could I offer you a snack?
Oh, hey, Dad!
I don't want to waste time on you
and you filled her head with insane ideas
No, it's not. No, it's not.
What's that about?
The guy shot out of the ocean,
But I mean, that's life. You know?
Aired 6 years ago - Dec 21, 2017
Carol and Chuck don't think they should have to attend Sensitivity Training and decide to teach the rest of the "snowflakes in the office" a lesson. Katie is excited about her new boyfriend, Jeremy, but Portia suspects Katie might just be a sidepiece.
I'll be here
until the day I die.
- Really?
Um...
- Oh.
- I told you no, young lady!
- Sensitivity is about
making work a "safe space"
What would be an
appropriate pronoun to use?
How did I fail?
I once walked
into a black church
- Katie, Katie.
Haven't you ever heard of the
country song that I recorded
and women everywhere to make
him pay for what he did.
Where is everybody?
- God? Offended!
- Gun violence continues...
- That might have been
a cool take a few years ago,
Stop acting like babies.
and you deserve to drink
a cool, refreshing Gatorade.
Give it... uh, Katie.
- Well,
I gotta protect my sources.
- Yeah, I said I was gonna
grill as in interview
Oh, except I think
someone keyed "die bastard"
I will end my own life.
- Like,
stay late and clean the...
He wasn't cheating;
he's just really into his job,
the only way that I could see
him was by posing
Hey, what do you say we take
a little break from work...
I see what you mean.
But I'd watch
the heck out of that show.
- What?
you don't see me
crying about it.
See it shine?
So tell me why call "The New
York Times" the Grey Lady?
just leaked confidential
docs and Katie,
That's right, my bluegrass band
♪ Hey, hey ♪
You know what,
this is not what it looks like.
banging out as many stories
as I wanted to tonight,
- I've solved racism.
Of all the things that white
men have given society,
And today, you folks are the
emcees.
at the Times Square Chili's
on Christmas Eve.
Ow, that's funny.
- Well, not for long, according
Stop it! Stop.
That's not a joke.
- This is so fun.
Aired 6 years ago - Dec 21, 2017
Carol finds herself in a reverse "Christmas Carol" during which she learns that she has too much Christmas spirit and is driving everyone around her insane. Meanwhile, Chuck's estranged son, Petey, visits the office and Katie, who has been charged with babysitting him, tries to get the father and son to reconnect.
I guess I'll just promote
it on the show.
♪ ♪
Which means I can finally let
go of this stress ball
- Uh... couple of people.
Justin, Gene... Jizzburt.
In this box, and in many others
still in my car
- Trees and I are not
speaking right now.
- Well, I'm off to the train
station to pick up my son.
just shake a jar of change at
him. He's my bundle of joy.
departing at 10:57.
- Hey there. Are you Petey?
- Oh, hey! There's your dad.
- But...
Hey, you want to get drunk?
but we do in fact have to work
on Christmas.
for my work family.
- We're coworkers, Carol.
- I'm sure you think I
developed Dude Wine
and nothing is ever perfect
enough.
- It's Christmas,
not Pudding Day!
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying
- That was too harsh.
- No, that was badass.
but you're right, Katie.
My dad deserves it.
Ha ha ha. I am so bad.
Anyway, what is this?
and Ace Ventura did a bad one.
- I am, and I'm going to take
you back
Can I have a walk-on role?
But I won't do a sex scene.
Oh, man. Dave really ruined
Christmas that year.
Because everything she needed
was already in this room.
- What? Why?
- Well, Chuck,
Be a little nice?
Just pretend to be proud?
Petey stole it from the nerd
that made it,
Well, nothing to him, but you
know what I said to Dunker?
He worked constantly on the
farm,
- You're wrong. My dad never
said that stuff to me,
- Pass.
- Oy.
What, Greg? Christmas
isn't all fresh, white snow
hinting that they need
to lose weight.
Uh... Dude Wine!
You didn't even mention any of
the kick-ass ingredients!
an instant coffee
that takes forever!
- The babysitter's right.
You're an ungrateful bastard!
to Sensei Tyler's
YouTube channel!
- It's a classic Japanese
mouth attack!
Patterned holiday cube.
straining on a toilet! Yes!
I hurted Mumsy.
one time... Oh, you mean... right.
Yes, Katie, you find Carol,
Aired 7 years ago - Nov 02, 2017
Jeremy invites Katie to do some "real reporting" and go on a stakeout with him. Carol is suspicious and kidnaps Greg to stake out the stakeout. The two discover that it may not be all business between Jeremy and Katie. Chuck meets Carvell, who is Portia's fiancé, and the two of them form an unlikely friendship.
- Why don't you come with?
- A stakeout?
I made plans with my mom to watch "Goose,"
Wait. This show might be bad.
Sorry, man. This guy
was just callin' my name.
I'm actually an elder
statesman in my field as well.
I'm not ready to retire
either. I don't care
so it's kinda nice to have a
guy I can throw the ball with.
- Really?
- Yeah.
which means she is in grave danger.
at David Blaine, we decided
to keep hanging out here.
Big time!
Please, Mrs. Carvell?
She lied to me, and I
think she's in trouble.
Oh, stop pouting. We can leave as soon as
She didn't want to tell you
he took her for a moonlit
carriage ride in the dump.
Katie loves you.
Ah! Okay. Snap out of it, Jeremy.
I actually have an idea. What if we rode
"I have feelings for you, Katie",
I'll jump in swan position.
What's up, Portia?
What's up with your bitch wife?
You lose the spark. Anyway,
I told you, Chuck, the
Muppets are not funny to me.
But I think these might be the answer
to see how I do it.
"It's okay if you wanna take a nap
three times a day. That's
celebrity bed death!
Nice and thick for killing silverfish.
Well, then, you know what?
We have to follow them again.
secret night watching. Believe me,
Uh-huh, yeah. All right.
- as we want.
- Yeah, but...
some type of love guide.
Yeah, no offense, but
these are the supplies
Welcome back, listeners.
we lost the bag that
we keep all the news in.
But they're gonna be here any minute.
She's smart, she's 3/4 me.
So I was right. It's not a date.
I got so many hot shots of the loot drop!
Still going.
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 26, 2017
Katie realizes that while she has been working her way up at MMN, her friends, including Jessica, have been getting married, having kids, and buying houses in New Jersey. Feeling pressure to impress them on Instagram with the hip New York City
lifestyle that she has chosen instead, she lucks into going to a very cool Halloween party with Portia. Meanwhile, Chuck has been asked to use a new smart screen on the show, and in an attempt to get out of this seemingly impossible task, tries to convince Carol that it is possessed.
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I want you to wear this
cross, just to be safe.
It better not be that FOX NFL robot.
3,577.
But it's not allowed to be taller than me.
on the floor of the
New York Stock Exchange.
Rand Paul is predicted to... whoops.
Erase penis! Hold on, folks.
I think I saw a main screw fall off
And I still try to kiss the
makeup girl on the mouth.
And Jessica called me a FOMO.
Portia, thanks so much for tonight.
Why are you wearing sunglasses inside?
Ooh, I like that quite a bit.
And I'm doing it.
Especially this time of year!
- That's three!
- What have you done?
they'll abandon me like my dad.
and I read that Cronket Wireless
Oh, this is so embarrassing.
Looks like you really are living the dream.
Halloween Extravaganza.
Hey Katie, I know you said
you didn't have money
You have to have an expensive,
one-of-a-kind costume.
that does not belong to you.
Now this'll be really scary, right?
and then bury its remains in a sacred tomb
I guess the only thing to
do now is to get rid of it.
- my name was Katie?
- Girl, you're all named Katie.
Behold, my masterpiece.
No thanks.
- Whoa!
- My soup!
Who's there?
If you expect me to feel guilty,
Would you like to restart?
Oh, take me back, GeniusScreen.
Katie Wendelson. I'm on the list.
- Katie?
- Portia, Portia,
Oh, look. I... I guess
the real demon here...
And I'm sorry. I suppose
I could forgive you.
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 19, 2017
For the first time in years, "The Breakdown" has been nominated for an American Journalism Award. Katie is looking forward to spending the night as a peer with the very reporters she has admired her whole life. Fearing her mother will ruin it, Katie
tries to stop Carol from attending but is unsuccessful when Carol secures a position as a seat-filler. Katie is stuck babysitting her mom all night but gets distracted by Jeremy, a handsome New York Times reporter who looks down on cable news. Chuck is excited to reunite with all of his old anchormen friends, especially Len Archer.
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Of course she will! But
you've got an easy excuse.
Oh, I picked up a little
Italian when Dave and I
Excited? Is the lion excited when he takes
Oh, so you're gonna have
a lot of old friends there.
Boy, that guy always did
it his way. No compromises!
where we only eat 1,000
calories combined per day.
to the next fancy event I'm
going to. My own funeral.
they're all gonna know my name.
so when the famous people get
up, they hire people like me
as it definitely will be.
Last time they invited you to the AJAs,
So, where are you sitting?
We're at table three.
We actually have an extra seat.
I'll tell you what. A compromise.
the one from your dermatologist's website.
Finally getting to hobnob with my peers.
- I'm Katie.
- Jeremy.
that I work for "The Breakdown."
Jeez Louise! Why did we get such bad seats?
Everyone here respects us,
and they think we're cool.
No, it's not. You paid to do this.
Well, I'm just saying
we don't think less of you
You're telling me that's a call you made?
Of course they put us by
the toilet! The show's a turd!
Just because cable news is popular
Listen, bud. I've worked for the respect
Coming up next, the award for
We're here to present the award
- Oh no, I lost.
- I'm sorry, Katie.
nearly zero people every year.
This is Len Archer, reporting live
Now that's the career of
a man who never sold out!
anymore, and they wanted me to share a desk
prank me while I read the news. Excuse me.
the "Embassy Nightly
News" at Embassy Suites!
Oh, thank God.
When I started in the broadcasting business
I'm so sorry, sweetie. I guess
I was so busy getting ready
you actually meant... oh, boy.
I lied. Check the list.
So you lied to me, and then
you tried to get me kicked out?
It didn't even occur to me that
Oh, I'm sorry about "Star Search."
Hey, gang. How's tricks?
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 12, 2017
Diana has been promoted again, this time to the head of the corporation that owns MMN, but before she leaves she finds herself embroiled in a sexual harassment scandal. This leaves Katie unsure who to believe - her mentor or her friends in the
office. Carol becomes head intern and struggles to prove to the other interns, and herself, that she deserves the job.
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you don't know what sex is.
I seem to have dropped my pen.
Mm-hmm.
- No, it was Diana.
- Wait, Diana?
No, no, she dropped her pen
Katie.
we're gonna start washing
the coffee mugs before
for "Yo! MMN Raps."
All you have is Brayden
C., the other Brayden R.,
Well, it wasn't just me.
What the hell is wrong with you?
No.
would risk her promotion
just to molest... this.
Portia brand teeth whitener is
What would you even report,
- That is not right.
- Victim shaming.
Case closed.
a producer on the show or something.
without getting permission
from their chiropractor.
But you've got something
those jerk interns don't have.
You are right.
Damn it, I should've asked her
to cut me out of these things.
I don't wanna get anyone in trouble,
Well, this is so stupid.
Wait, so you did all that stuff
Give me a pervert's high
five. You know how to do it.
Oh, here we go.
Dave, I told you I needed a new shed
But I guess they don't
teach life experience
What's wrong?
I'm just as bad as she is.
My own mother's being harassed
and I've been covering it up!
Diana was... was...
they started calling penises "junk."
Someone who wouldn't
mind putting themselves
What do I have to do to get it?
Très jolie, Carol.
No one did.
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 05, 2017
Diana sets Katie off on a mission to take the job at the station that she wants, but when Katie tries to be executive producer for the day, she soon realizes that Greg has it much harder than she realized. Meanwhile, Carol uses Greg and Katie's
workplace competition as an opportunity to push the two of them together. After Diana insults Portia on a women-in-business panel, Portia declares a "squad feud" that forces their two very different worlds together.
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and I do my idea?
Diana has asked us to produce
a series of Snapchat Newsisodes.
From "Cheers," the classic
'80s alcoholism PSA?
by ancient Chinese idiots.
- Actually?
- Today, any woman can be a CEO.
Don't clap for me. I'm not dancing.
No, just that one part.
to find out how easy your job is.
- No, I didn't.
- ♪ La-la-la-la, yes she did ♪
Normal people aren't
supposed to feel sorry for me.
such as playing with my hair
Gene, I didn't assign you anything.
I have an idea for a story.
- Greg and I are fighting.
- Oh, I know.
One day, I was a secretary
at your father's firm,
Katie's born, never touch me again.
an interior or an ocean view stateroom...
so I stole your backup dancer.
- Oh, no, that was Zayn.
- Oh.
of that tornado in Oklahoma.
Katie, he shouldn't get credit for that!
is part of the job I signed up for?
Okay.
You son of a bitch.
♪ I'm a famous and rish bish ♪
♪ Suge Knight's a bish, what! ♪
♪ I'm a famous and rish bish ♪
Mm-mm. Not today.
- Wait, really?
- You bet.
Everything's going according to plan.
Yes! Apologize to Greg.
I'm on the board of Instagram, Facebook,
Attention, everyone. Attention.
asking him to eat my shorts.
You were supposed to apologize
to Greg, not emasculate him.
- Huh?
- Wait, what about Greg?
She has a plan for my career,
which is more than I have.
Well, technically, I am an older woman
I'm gonna say this, but maybe...
Aired 7 years ago - Sep 28, 2017
"The Breakdown" gets a new boss, Diana St. Tropez, a tough business lady with big plans to bring their outdated news program into the 21st century. Katie is thrilled since this is exactly the kind of strong, professional female role model she hoped
for, but Carol is immediately wary of this new influence in Katie's life. Meanwhile, Chuck has trouble adapting to Diana's idea for a new panel segment of screaming pundits.
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Oh, that's not an option.
The landscape of cable news has changed.
I'm Diana St. Tropez.
but I had to become Vladislav to really get
I sleep two hours a night.
We're the number one show in hospitals
You are all capable of
more than you think you are.
- This is the best!
- Wonderful!
I just want to make a good impression.
a statement into a question."
No, Hillary lost the election
because she sent an email
Well, there's obviously
something wrong here.
argue with someone they don't,
someone really powerful and
commanding sitting there...
and I've already used
it to write this poem.
It's fine. I don't need encouragement.
Should I not have told you
that? Are you mad at me?
Take marriage and kids off the table,
I have been so caught up with
Diana being here and work...
- I'm Chuck Pierce.
- And I'm Portia Scott-Griffith.
Ken Simpson, a Kentucky dog groomer
- Well, I think...
- I feel like I speak
- All right, but what about...
- What about...
Get in the game. Say something.
specifically "Carol's Corner,"
my award-wanting column.
you seem like a real B-word,
Oh, they are so sweet. Which one is yours?
I wrote that book to show
women that they don't have to
No, my doctor was a uterine drone.
We're a team, like Starsky and Hutch,
What are these?
or you're just irrelevant.
it's got feet, and it can come
and find me, and I'm not scared.
Okay, pause. Right there.
So what's the problem?
So what are you gonna do?
not when I'm dead and stuffed
she'd have to take time off from her job.
Well, yeah, but... Well, I could quit.
Green tie? Oh, shoot.