A Series of Unfortunate Events

The Baudelaire orphans try and escape the grasp of the evil Count Olaf.

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Why respond to the siren song that the Spanish call 'El Theater'?"

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and during the Baudelaire children's unfortunate stay with the Poe family."

#4

No, no. I wanna hear what this man Haircut has to say.

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These events at Mulctuary Money Management

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We don't really have a question. We have a complaint.

#8

I'm sorry. What were we talking about?

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The actor is acting as your parent.

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I spent all morning making these cupcakes for you.

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But we're shorter than most adults. Won't that look strange to the audience?

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You will participate in my theatrical performance!

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you should only do it with the people you love.

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I'm actually considering a career in law. I find those books quite fascinating.

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and the signing of an explanatory document in the bride's own hand."

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You will stand in front of a very handsome man, played by me...

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Children, go. Go home.

#20

You know who always says that? Prisoners.

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to know the difference between literally and figuratively.

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resulting in aggregate financial dominion over any spousal holdings."

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All the enthusiasm in the world won't get us to participate in your horrible plot!

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and one so small, so helpless.

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which is a very long way for a very small person to fall,

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After the wedding, I wouldn't dispose of you like your brother and sister.

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We're all frightened, Klaus. You should get some sleep.

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But just as a single bulb can illuminate even the most depressing of rooms,

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- [clattering] - What was that?

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- Well, take a guess. - Um... Well, some sort of, uh...

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It's okay. He didn't mean it as a joke.

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Well, as an actor, I think live theater is a much more powerful medium

#38

There's talent scouts in the audience looking for new actresses about your age.

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What is a very handsome man like me to do about it...

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My marriage to Violet Baudelaire is perfectly legal,

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I'm afraid there's nothing you can do.

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So, you escaped, you little dishrag.

#46

You should never be afraid to admit that you don't know something.

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who is right-handed, signed the document with her left hand,

#48

I will tear you and your siblings from limb to limb.

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