Aired 5 years ago - Apr 12, 2019
Maya braces for JJ’s high school graduation and departure for college, but tough news from NYU changes everything. Dylan teaches Jimmy a “Dad lesson” as he gets ready for a big job interview. Kenneth pressures JJ to prepare for a grand finale to their time together, and Ray uses his class trip to Catalina to examine his bad luck in love.
When were you gonna tell me
Wing it? Oh, no.
Ray, word in the girls'
bathroom is you're being
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
until I land some kind
of architecture gig.
It's happening! It's happening!
I'll save it for him.
I'm sorry. I know how
much you wanted this.
[CHAIR SQUEAKS]
[LAUGHS]
All our units have automatic
doors, accessible showers...
Well, it's mad, right?
But it's not New York.
It's been a month! You
didn't even start?
- [GRUNTS]
- Ooh!
Ray DiMeo, Coach. But you call me...
with all your female classmates.
You think I don't know that?
I don't even have a
real drafting pencil.
Brianna. Flowers?
Maybe it's because we all learned
So, lay it on me.
Dang, I dad-ded you up real nice.
You were so excited. What changed?
But when you start talking
your building stuff?
"It's Izzy.
That was a bad surprise.
We were in the store,
looking at shams...
I begged him to go, but
he won't listen to me.
"Not physically hideous."
- [MURMURING AGREEMENTS]
- Okay.
Just do bullet points, man.
Oh, hang on.
are they less bad if I
get a leather jacket?
That's not love.
[SIGHS] Hi. My name is Ray.
but strongly prefer using
the bathroom at my house.
Aah!
For his high school girlfriend?
The ceremony doesn't start till noon.
Wait. Oh, my God!
it could still work with Izzy.
I may never find someone again.
And look what it got you.
But don't stay out of fear.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Aired 5 years ago - Apr 05, 2019
When JJ’s attempts to make a good impression on Izzy’s parents fail, he changes course to make a bad one instead. Maya is jealous when Melanie is the recipient of a public display of mom-love. Meanwhile, Kenneth leans on Jimmy for support after a tour of his alma mater reveals a few surprises.
Melanie, I've been to these things.
- and he's being really smug about it.
- Hmm.
You'll both get points... 35 each.
and C was for the
grade I had to maintain
as we enter the Colonel Forbin Library.
Whaaa?!
Be firm with him, but let
him win every argument.
Mom, Daddy, this is JJ.
"It's nice to meet you both.
Bye!
Hey. Kenneth, do you ever
think about coming back here
my favorite son...'s aide.
How long is this guy gonna go on for?
Aah! Get these out of here!
♪ Maria ♪
That.
if he found us in my
bed when he got home.
"Stairs. Why did it have to be stairs?"
This has both."
♪ If you need me, call me ♪
♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪
All right, kids. Heads together.
[SMACKS LIPS] He sped off.
Thanks.
♪ Oh, my lollipop ♪
Sexualized JJ! Sexualized JJ!
Izzy, I've got it from here.
He just needs your help
getting up the stairs.
And Kenneth here is very excited.
Fail. Fail. Incomplete.
Now you're disappointed in me?
'cause I can always bring
in my hemorrhoid pillow.
Just need to get my
arms underneath here...
- ♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪
- What a stud! You did it!
My JJ described a nightmare to me once
Mom. Can we talk to you?
Of course, he's a man now.
our sponsors from Fashion
4 All Adaptive Clothing.
- Stop it!
- You stop it!
Oh, my God.
he's more like a love... seat.
♪
I wound up showing you that I'm not."
"You should see me ice skate."
but you're the only boy I want
to be up here with right now.
♪
No, Kenneth.
That's the best me anyone's ever seen.
♪
♪
Aired 5 years ago - Mar 29, 2019
The DiMeos set out for one last “JJ Adventure” before he heads to college, but things get bumpy when the family takes an ill-advised shortcut. Maya and Kenneth’s relationship is tested when they disagree over who knows JJ’s needs best. Meanwhile, Jimmy, JJ and Dylan find fun they shouldn’t be having, and Ray tests his wilderness mettle.
Ray, you know the
DiMeo road trip rule...
I wouldn't go down
that way if I was you.
Your funeral.
I told you we should've
listened to that old man!
Aha!
Oh!
I'm fine to walk into town with JJ.
Ah... Oh.
No!
The woods are making them weird."
A scout's place is in the jungle.
"Didn't we just see you on the road?"
I've been holding it so long,
This will be empty and depressing.
I'm gonna bring some extra
sustenance just in case.
"And in the beginning,
there was JJ and Maya.
Oh, Kenneth, I could kiss you...
Oh, it's way better.
I just need this mechanic to
get back from his break, fast.
No moms or siblings allowed?
I think I ended up okay.
Damn it, this would actually work.
Mom... tell Kenneth how you feel.
I feel that Maya doesn't appreciate
Wh... Get back here with that book!
Just the fact that the sun
itself is wearing sunglasses...
Sounds like you been
talking to my two brothers...
Well, if the new ones are safer.
No, I saw a sign.
Yeah, first one fit
the tone better, yeah.
You haven't swallowed
them yet, have you?
Sounds to me like a brown bear.
Oh. Okay.
Excuse me. I noticed your,
uh, boy eyeing my tractor.
- One of them...
- I don't care. Look, I'm ready to go.
Sayonara, suckers!
It's okay.
"Why don't you want to go
back? What's going on, Dad?"
I've been so focused on making
sure that Mom got time with you
like it's nothing.
"Don't worry. There's time for
Mom bonding and Dad bonding.
Must you undermine me
every chance you get?
I could never die angry at you.
Ray!
Aired 5 years ago - Mar 22, 2019
Outraged that JJ's girlfriend, Izzy, declines his invitation to prom, Dylan and Ray swing for the fences with a bold plan to make her jealous. Jimmy, Kenneth and Melanie coach Maya through accepting criticism for the good of her company, and one of the DiMeos takes a big step into a new life.
We're very excited about the new line.
We have a great ad campaign already.
but you need to be realistic.
to get you out of situations like this. I do.
- Aww.
- JJ.
Promcomise?
but I also know it's what I'd do,
that would make her so jealous.
Hello, Justice Sonia Sotomayor.
JJ and I have made a
gentlemen's agreement
He's an old friend from business school.
Uh, Jimmy has a plan to
help toughen you up.
I saw your video, and it's
so cute, and so are you,
Instead, you'll say, "Interesting."
Yeah, nice touch, right?
You hide behind this
whole crusading-special-needs-mom act,
When you work a dead-end job like mine,
I already said l thought you were cute.
and it's about a
character who's in a wheelchair,
"Oh."
Oh.
maybe I'll do a little cut
off of it tonight.
- Nothing about us without us!
- So, I'm guessing
I want you to have this.
You've been so helpful with
the laser pointer
We've got an investor who's excited.
Meet the group.
- and then he was seeing someone, and so...
- Yeah.
there's nothing to be jealous about.
This is gonna be a really short movie.
to the disability community"!
the ripping of the clothes, part.
the, uh, temp models.
that you are the arbiter of pop-age.
I don't have to listen to this.
Izzy saw the stuff online.
"No, I'm not stopping.
Listen, it's time to get real...
am no longer making decisions
"I want to boogie."
and take trips to Kinko's?
following your dream if it matters.
What'd you take, the
South Coast Highway?
You're probably right.
Jimmy,
Yeah.
Aired 5 years ago - Mar 15, 2019
JJ struggles with spending his new social security benefits strictly on boring stuff. Kenneth uncovers a secret that upsets the status quo in Maya and Jimmy’s relationship. Meanwhile, Ray’s run-in with an old love threatens his chances at a Quiz Bowl championship.
So...
makes me feel like a big shot."
Hey, boning up on your Korean.
No, you want to do these shows.
- I see it. I see it. I see it.
- She's got it going on.
"I kinda thought this would be more fun.
"I've been saving money
from my grocery store job."
Dude, we've never made it this far...
Oh.
And, uh... Yeah.
I haven't gotten anyone
birthday gifts in a long time,
Uh, yeah, JJ. How cou you afford it?
You win a raffle
"Everything this family does is for me.
It's not just generous...
W... Play with your guys.
Maya and I don't have the bandwidth
Give Maya credit.
Ray!
She's got the mind of Einstein
I'll murder my teammates
just to feel your touch again!
I can't believe you got
these at a yard sale.
The only not-Korean guy up there.
Jimmy?
Don't sell yourself short.
You're a smart cookie.
Here's the rest.
But what are you doing?
just to show you that
you are what I want.
And my book bag will be you.
The one time I come in the library!
- No, we didn't.
- No, we didn't.
Why'd you have to show me
that last night, Kenneth?
For the record, twisted stuff like this
"Well, I lucked into a coupon.
I will fix this myself.
Welcome, all,
So I-I took the liberty of...
We're gonna be bankrupt in two years!
at that funny little
club down by the docks.
Here you go.
Aired 5 years ago - Mar 08, 2019
Ray’s attempt to manipulate Maya over an unfulfilled promise of mother-son time backfires when she calls his bluff. JJ tries a new aide after he and Kenneth agree to spend a day apart. Meanwhile, Jimmy’s unsure how to handle Dylan’s teen angst when she invites a boy over.
You know I'm sensitive about that.
Did you talk to my second ex-wife?
I reallyhated that.
I've been guilting Mom about
Special Boy Time for years,
You know, thisis a special boy.
Sometimes, you need a forum
to air your grievances.
It's not meant to be a long-term gig.
Reveal yourself!
Oh, Randy. You just slid
right in there, didn't you?
We can find a way. We must.
A water park sounds great, Mother.
I'm looking five-ward to it.
Dad!
Look, this kid is trouble, and
I am going to check him out.
I still love your friend's car."
and toss it in.
Last chance not to
enter Great Wolf Lodge.
Here we are, at the
entrance to the water park.
Tell me what you were
trying to squeeze out of me!
- Out of my special boy's way!
- Yeah!
Hey, is that a Martin?
Hey, what is this?
"Say good night"... R-A... "Randy."
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ah!
Your dad's awesome!
He was actually starting
to open up to me.
Oh, my God!
My emotional support person is gone!
What are we gonna do next year, buddy?
But... you... you like him.
I-I guess my question is,
Dad, don't keep him from being
a pawn in my sick social game."
Sorry, love. It was the bank
about my loan application.
Have fun. I'm going thisway.
I wanted him to like you, then I didn't.
and it's gonna be
weird, but that's cool.
In fact, you're his type.
Aired 5 years ago - Mar 01, 2019
The DiMeos come together to help JJ shoot a last-minute film for his college application, working against the clock and Maya’s own best interests. Jimmy makes an embarrassing gaffe with JJ’s beloved, and Kenneth and Ray scramble to suppress embarrassing secrets.
Want to be in charge?"
That would help us go faster."
But it definitely was a guy...
So, like, if a guy was
over by the dining table
Gah! Whoa!
I'm... I'm so sorry.
I mean, don't get me
wrong... Super cool bear.
but my family cannot
see what's on that bear.
Staging question... Do
we have to be this close?
Oh, just wanted to
make sure it was clean
Ugh. You are not gonna
believe what happened.
Anyway, it's kinda your fault
until we can get this monkey to cry!
He snapped at my sister once!
Mm... DiMeos minus Maya
surely are a sorry bunch.
For every piece of help you give me,
Let's make a movie!
It's not my fault!
we're supposed to have
"a sea of wheelchairs"?
"All footage uploads directly
to the SneakyBearCam cloud."
Now you... not me...
Can ruin everything.
I hold all your secrets!
We'll tell our secrets to each other.
Thank you for your trust.
It's true.
Oh, you want me to stop them?
then I have to let him
go, and that's my reward?
And he'll figure it out.
We give them the tools, we let them go.
It all has me very
tense in my shoulders."
The director to the stairwell.
It's not exactly a sea.
but as exciting as all this is,
Wait. What did she just say?
Tia Casella is not your girlfriend, man!
but turned out to be another button
And this time, I'll stay away.
Yeah, well, I was
counting on her to do it,
Aired 5 years ago - Feb 22, 2019
When Maya insists that it’s time to meet Izzy, a reluctant JJ arranges a game night for his family and new girlfriend. Ray tries to help on the big night, but his attention to detail puts a major crimp in JJ’s evening. Meanwhile, Dylan and Kenneth let their appetites get the better of them.
I-I'd be very worried about that.
Dinner with that guy who
claimed to be my new boss.
W-Who's that SNL guy? He... He sucks.
pre-drive checklist.
but what do we know about this girl?
She could break his heart.
This has to go well.
It... It looks so perfect.
God, why is it so good?
I'm spiraling now.
Just get here safely.
Did he say how long he'll be?
If I shouldn't do it, say "no."
I'm begging you."
If the fog be merciful,
she will lead us there.
I meant we should split it.
It's nice to meet you, by the way.
Yes, so that is a bag
of truth gold for me.
With a mother's love for her son.
T-R... JJ, I cannot read right now.
Bam! That's ten truth tokens!
Spin the Truth Wheel. Let's
get your next question.
Um, neither of JJ's
parents know that I know
but we just got started with this game.
It tastes like fear. We start over.
What if it just looks like
a cheeseball long enough
"Oh, no, look at the cake.
now that Jimmy's winning.
Because no amount of
answers will satisfy you.
to choose someone that cares
about him the way he deserves.
Technically, she went over
time, but I concur completely.
We wouldn't understand, whatever it is.
You kept me from ruining it.
I would've loved pretzel samples.
It's not pity. I just
feel guilty sometimes.
"You're right, but we
don't have control of it.
"Let's just eat this thing, then."
"No... " M-I... "... misogyny."
No wonder I'm such a terrible driver.
Oh, wow. You are good at this.
Aired 5 years ago - Feb 15, 2019
JJ’s love-match with Izzy becomes a cage match with Kenneth. Maya and Jimmy dismiss Valentine’s Day as a holiday for suckers until they find a way to profit from it. Unable to find a date to a prepaid romantic night out, Ray brings Dylan.
Please give me my space."
"Do you have plans Valentine's Day?"
It needs to be perfect."
but she said she couldn't
do it "in good conscience."
I feel like we're trapped in
this cycle where I bust on you,
about your sister throwing
garbage at you or your girl.
Yeah. This
is my own special blend.
"I asked for green pillows."
That's fair.
Jimmy Valentine!
So much turquoise.
You're a cool big brother, Ray.
Ray, I'm just gonna
rip the Band-Aid off.
Jimmy, I'm so proud of you.
"You look lovely in that dress."
Ah.
His name's Connor. I met him online.
It's stuff like this why Mom's
friends won't date you, Ray.
Yes. The world is full
But Jimmy Valentine
- Like what?
- Well, I'm a big sports guy.
"Sidebar."
I swear! He's just my dumb brother.
Welcome home, business traveler.
Get out le cash.
I underestimated you.
- Dylan!
- There's no photo booth, dummy.
Okay. Bye.
Everybody has a love language.
So, a quick recap of common ground...
I'd planned so many
high-fives for this area.
Whatever you type next is for
me, I won't say it out loud.
I know you guys went to a lot of trouble,
"It occurred to me, but it
took me so long to get here.
But this new love stuff?
Now. Semi... " Yeah, okay.
But these girls are, right?
Seems a little less organic.
And, uh, that is how you do that.
I want to give you your favorite gift,
JJ, hurry!
You used me. For a dumb video.
Aired 5 years ago - Feb 01, 2019
Maya and Melanie take their promising new fashion line to the 2019 Abilities Expo, only to walk into a room full of familiar and unfriendly faces. Ray accompanies JJ on an overnight college visit. Meanwhile, Dylan’s test scores lead her first to Mr. Powers’ office hours, then to a journey within.
The train will drop us off right there.
I'm ready for two moms to
make a difference in families
I ain't promised nothin' to no one
Whenever I try to read
or listen to a teacher,
Aha! Don't run from it.
[STRAINED] Every hernia...
Ooh. Insurance lady
I "Groundhog Day-ed."
You guys put your heads down.
I just went next to a
lady who's taking a shower.
"You don't need to
worry about that. Cool?"
Well, go explore, then.
♪ ♪
You still doing your stupid know-it-all
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Did I just make that up?!
that what one said online
was both public and permanent.
In time, I realized
With a contract that I
insisted we sign... wow.
I'm not like Mom.
[CLICKS, MOTOR WHIRRING]
Same technology they use
on the... space shuttle.
I said some terrible things,
No, but I'd love to give you a write-up.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
MR. POWERS' VOICE: Would you
please just give it a chance?
how I am an obstacle
for your personal growth.
Let's just face it.
I-I... You're asking me.
Well, that feels good.
"I just wanted to let loose together."
Boring Ray!
That one sip of that beer
is not sitting well with me.
[APPLAUSE]
The response has been
truly... Wow, what's the word?
I'm not sure.
I-I seem to remember it
costing a little more than that.
Don't give her the mic.
People are here to learn
about this wonderful company.
and, yes, we've had
run-ins with many of you.
No, I don't think we're gonna
get the panelist swag bag.
Well, we're done.
Uh...
That's how you got
here in the first place.
You've got to ask for what you
want in this world, all right?
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
You are the smartest person I know.
really real with you right...
I eschew that sort of
external validation.
Go get the... Go get the hose.
Aired 5 years ago - Jan 25, 2019
Dylan is horrified to realize people see her as a mini version of Maya, and makes a point to exert her individuality. JJ and Ray each cope with their feelings for shared crush, Izzy. Meanwhile, Kenneth turns to an unwilling Jimmy for help with Joyce.
Oh, yeah, that nails it.
Oh, no.
JJ hasn't said his forbidden crush.
Anything goes.
You heard of that?
"You sued me for taking your phone."
I fall in love five times a day.
Now I can't back down, and
I'm gonna break his heart.
- cannot avoid?
- You're right.
and she wants to come to
the turtle races tonight.
You think you can stall
her for a few hours?
Oh.
based on some environmental measure.
I don't know, son. No eye contact.
Say you won't support it.
Ah, ah, ah. Fewer people, mon cheri.
What is happening?
Is car physical therapy a thing?
Your jeans don't fit.
Hey, that's my...
but, boy, if she ever figures this out,
I thought you might.
Why would you want someone
you like to go out with me?
I've been rejected by
every girl in this room.
She'll make up some dumb excuse.
I-I don't want to disagree with you
I'm Kenneth's booty call.
"Isn't this just the Halloween maze?"
I was afraid, so I
pushed you toward Ray.
It's just...
This is a really good maze.
My phone is your piece
of crap from 10 years ago.
Well, you can't escape,
You didn't have the guts to do it.
and now it is a memory,
one that I'll cherish.
Apologize to her!
- This garage.
- What did I do?
"Call it even if you find a hot
girl to be straight with me."
Aired 5 years ago - Jan 18, 2019
Maya is less than thrilled when Kenneth interferes with her business plans with Melanie. Ray begs JJ to cast him opposite his new crush, Izzy, in his next movie, which has unexpected consequences. Meanwhile, Dylan is impressed with Jimmy’s band.
"We could draw on our
own romantic pasts."
You need to cast Izzy
and me as the leads.
- we have not lost the sound.
- Or the look.
because we had nothing else.
♪ 'Cause I try ♪
Actually, I have no interest
in leaving my comfort zone,
Can I, uh, talk to you
over here for a sec?
Yes. Uh...
Why would I want that?
Where's the focus and drive...
Relax, Maya.
What a bizarre
manifestation of sexuality.
Action."
"Was that book 'How to Get Fired'?"
one of our original songs...
But really, it was an era
of unprecedented peace...
Who cares if you're the
world's best sniper if...
He says, "Great feedback.
Now, okay, see, here's
where it gets interesting.
I had a little picnic plan brewing.
Ooh, about that.
- Yeah, we will.
- Okay, then.
Oh, no.
We're gonna do another one
now called "Draft Dodger"...
Oh, Daddy, you're here. Dylan's dad?
satisfaction.
Something like that.
Uh, before I go,
and makes her fall in love with me.
I should tell you that, at times,
Hey, you.
but it doesn't stop you.
JJ, you should use this in the script.
Oh, God, I made it worse.
"You saw my movies?"
but does it anyway.
How sweet.
You just don't want me to be happy.
Melanie, we need to talk,
but sharing you just isn't working out.
I'm sorry. I choose neither.
just for one brief moment.
And then a bunch of your friends
we paid the price,
- The track team?
- The track team.
"Actually, Izzy pointed out that trope
Aired 5 years ago - Jan 11, 2019
JJ challenges Maya’s mentoring tactics when she takes a father and his young son with special needs under her wing. Dylan and Ray attend a teen support group for all the wrong reasons. Meanwhile, Jimmy’s gorgeous new TV sets him on a journey for self-betterment.
I'm not supposed
to show that off?
Whoa!
I was thinking
balloon drop.
He's got this killer bit
about if classic movie quotes
He's nervous about
his birthday party.
What would they think
[ Sighs ]
[ Angelic music plays ]
No, they're free to leave
any time.
**
Kenneth, it's a lot of work
because of a TV.
Hey, bud.
You had me at
"Mom's wrong."
[ Laughs ]
He had the helmet there
with him.
Mm-hmm.
Well, she, too, has passed.
Soon after he.
that made me believe in myself
was fake."
It's made
all the difference.
[ Muffled ] Wait.
Is that, like, your problem?
[ Remote clicks ]
What?
Woman: [ Singing opera ]
to list every hot dog
he ever ate?
her food tastes
like farts."
but you can stop Owen's dad
from doing it to him."
Her name is Tara,
and it's not fake.
Not so good that it's weird
that we're here.
[ Whispering ]
Seriously?
I'll take my touch
before I share,
[ Sighs ] I missed it.
Which episode was it?
Can you tell
this is Mom's?
I don't know where you
suddenly got a conscience,
No, thank you.
So don't bribe kids to
come to his party?
But everything else?
[ Quietly ] I told you not
to come back here, Ray.
and the only reason he came here
was to meet you girls --
What school?
Why are you blasting music?
Drum roll please!
Unbelievable.
I was surrounded
I didn't go there for you!
I went for me!
[ Cardboard clanking ]
"But I am
a famous comedian."
"No."
Huh? Think you're better
than me, Big TV?
Dad, do you ever seek out
the help of others
I remember him
from Old TV.
Okay.
Aired 5 years ago - Jan 04, 2019
Maya lends a helping hand to frenemy Melanie and finds her life taking a surprising turn. Dylan joins the Lafayette basketball team, where her lousy sportsmanship gets results. Jimmy makes up for lost father-son time with Ray.
He also used to call
dumbbells "Jimmy bells."
Oh, I know what I want to do.
I keep missing these classic
father/son milestones.
Great.
You can't d...
Oh, no, no! Separate!
Actually, that helps.
You said there was a dog
playing basketball in here.
Afraid of a game
That's how we do things here.
Come here, son. I want
to show you something.
Uh... Mm. You're going
in at kind of an angle.
Well, when I was becoming a man,
Thanks to YouTube, I can.
Can you hear me, John?
Ah, but the good news is,
- Break! Do it!
- Whoo-hoo!
God. What are you doing here?!
I don't think there's
trash talk that good, Sasha.
Dylan, let me tell you
Yes!
Ow!
I'm trying to defuse the situation.
So easily removable...
Hey, can you take me to the VIP room
Your boyfriend just
went on Haunted Mansion
Game changer.
You have to save me.
Why didn't I think of grilling before?
Who knew we had such awesome tools?
You win, Internet.
and get... that... ball!
Hey, Dad. I was, uh,
hoping after SAT prep
All right. I'll see
you when you get back.
- Ray?
- Hi, Dad. Surprise!
You've taught me what matters.
and you happen to be a very hot girl...
I should have known better.
So specific.
Wha... Lose the suit?
Like... mayonnaise?
Oh, that's where I know you from!
Aired 6 years ago - Dec 14, 2018
A Christmas tree fire leads Maya to tell a small lie with big consequences. Meanwhile, Ray struggles to live in Pepper’s shadow as Dylan twists the knife, and JJ encourages Kenneth to stand up to his sisters.
Excuse me, I was told you're
the hero who saved the family.
But I suppose if a
boy wakes up his family
Isn't this exciting?
Hard pass!
I'm a big, ol' sexist.
Watch what happens when I Google
"Kenneth Clements basketball."
Are you a long-lost third witch
sister I don't know about?!
This is going to be huge for me.
And he probably doesn't
have wild, unkempt hair
Listen to what this boy had
to say about little Pepper.
Shut up, I'm on TV!
Hey, Dolph, you missed a spot.
Yay! Pizza's here!
So we've decided to
replace all of your gifts!
You defrauded a charity at Christmas.
We've got to give these gifts back.
We are here.
No, of course...
Oh, my gosh!
Sure. Sounds great! [CHUCKLES]
I was offered the, uh, job
All right, Broken Stereo.
You know what? Never mind. He sucks!
♪ Da, da, da-da, da ♪
Well, do I have good news for you.
What you gonna teach them
how to do, Kenneth? Lose?
Yeah, there is something
I need to tell you.
I'm-live for a long time,
you Good Halloween House.
In your face!
but I do have a solo
task for one of you.
$500?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
It's her butt I'm tasting, okay?
- How do you like your new Santa?
- He's great!
- [SNIFFING]
- Wah!
It was him!
Good news, I've raised thousands
of dollars for these people.
we all know about the
DiMeo family tragedy,
No, no! Please, stop giving us things.
- Yeah.
- [BOOING]
Oh, he's back there somewhere.
Look, we're hiding from a mob
of Santa-loving DiMeo haters,
- ♪ All is calm ♪
- RAY: JJ's right.
I couldn't handle that it was you,
Traitor.
Yeah, well, I'm not like you.
Aired 6 years ago - Dec 07, 2018
The DiMeos realize they have great intentions but lack follow-through when it comes to … everything. Vowing to change, Ray and Dylan take on government bureaucracy; Kenneth helps JJ prepare for college; and Maya tries to reconnect with Jimmy.
Aired 6 years ago - Nov 16, 2018
When the DiMeos land in the hospital on Thanksgiving, Maya’s determination to save the holiday leads to an uneasy truce with her rival, Melanie Hertzal; and Jimmy gets jealous when Kenneth bonds with his brother, Billy. Meanwhile, wounds from an old breakup are re-opened, but Ray finds brand-new love in an unlikely place
Aired 6 years ago - Nov 09, 2018
Seeing the kids believe she exists to solely serve at their pleasure, Maya takes the stage to prove she has so much more to offer. Kenneth finds JJ a job, and JJ finds an unlikely rival. Ray goes undercover informing parents on his classmates’ social lives and gets in too deep.
Aired 6 years ago - Nov 02, 2018
Seeking a new outlet for her superpowers as JJ prepares for college, Maya sets her sights on a receptive Ray. JJ gets involved in a (too) high stakes poker game, while Dylan discovers what really happens after her bedtime.
- All right, let's do this.
- Whoa, whoa.
If you blow off drivers ed, people die!
You know, that being said,
instead of time and a half."
It is with great pride that
I say to all your requests,
I thought people had to do for me."
Well, that's great, right?
so I'm gonna kill 50
people on my first day
What a day! I'll be in bed soon, too.
Okay, here's the deal.
Three kids are a lot.
We like the downtime, too.
♪
"'Can't'? Who are you, a zipper?"
So, you know, I know how
upset you were about that C.
Yeah, 'cause, I mean, I do
have a bit more time now...
That's exactly what
someone who stays up late
Fine.
Oh, my God, Dad, you
just made five in a row.
Um, your mom's asleep, so yeah. Yes.
Mom, this is so overly
detailed and intense.
That way, you don't have
to waste any brain space
Ray, before we go to the store,
Whoa. Since when do you drink coffee?
Will you get it?"
Oh, people hang out in here?
"I'm taking charge of my own life.
Mother's at the grocery.
You are so good at this!
He's tough love.
"Just when I thought I was
out... they pull me back in!"
Oh, this is intense.
I don't understand why
you keep bringing that up!
So... did you win?
[BAND PLAYING]
I'm a dad. I make things better.
Ta-da!
Look at you. [GASPS]
It was just a terrible, plausible dream.
I mean, it has been great.
How could you let him take your chair?
But it can't all happen at once.
is just because you're stupid.
Yeah.
But I love it...
It turns out, a growing girl
really does need her sleep.
I'll just rest my eyes
for, like, a minute.
Aired 6 years ago - Oct 19, 2018
Maya’s Halloween becomes truly terrifying when JJ attends a rave in the woods. Ray joins Dylan’s Halloween heist determined to prove he’s more than a do-gooder. Meanwhile, Jimmy and Kenneth turn the DiMeo home into the neighborhood’s haunted house.
"Thanks for meeting with me, Lee.
It is an honor.
Can I, uh, buy you a milkshake?
"Just us?"
with a guy you barely know on Halloween,
- He's an adult.
- Jimmy, I've been following him around
I need to get the
school's air-duct plans,
Hey. Check it out.
and windows all made out of glass?
- You wanna help?
- Does a skeleton have 206 bones?
JJ's here.
and we're at a high-school dance.
then we'll leave, and
he'll never even know
Kenneth Ezekiel Clements
doesn't do fun haunted houses.
Oh, for some reason it
stopped doing setup lines.
The sweet old man who
lives across the street
Welcome to hell.
What's this? Who are you?
- I know that Taser.
- Oh.
- Close one.
- Here comes my knucklehead.
and this vent will get me there.
Just, uh, looking for
the time machine...
A lady Iron Man? Are you hot?
Does his wheelchair battery seem low?
I'll introduce you.
Kenneth. I am so excited
I've probably saved you a dozen tickets.
Nicest man in the world.
That vent is creepy.
We did it.
Without the hat, you're
just a guy in a great dress.
Just when things were heating up
Masks on, let's get 'em.
Trust me. They're okay.
They can't run anywhere!
That is the point!
Okay, I've got this. You trust me?
Oh! Oh! Turn on the lights!
Helen, we've got to let them go!
Okay, candy thief, we
have you surrounded.
Jimmy, uh, sorry I
wrecked your haunted house
I mean, I care about
stuff that matters...
Nah. I'll even help.
You stole it. From the students.
Aired 6 years ago - Oct 12, 2018
Maya must choose between asking her father for money to save their house and a lasting relationship with him. Ray strives to bond with his new British family, only to discover Dylan’s the one with a surprising connection. Meanwhile, JJ shows Kenneth a good time off-the-clock, and Jimmy inadvertently finds love.
Aired 6 years ago - Oct 05, 2018
The DiMeos cross the pond so Maya can ask her estranged father, the challenging Martin, for a loan to save their house. Meanwhile, Jimmy puts on his “fun dad” hat to ensure JJ has a great trip, Ray digs deep to summon Californian vibes to endear himself to British girls, and Kenneth reveals a love for all things royal.