Comedy
DESCRIPTION
Maya DiMeo is a mom on a mission who will do anything for her husband, Jimmy, and kids Ray, Dylan, and JJ, her eldest son with special needs. As Maya fights injustices both real and imagined, the family works to make a new home for themselves and searches for just the right person to give JJ his “voice.”
Aired 7 years ago - May 17, 2017
As the family readies for their flight to JJ's camp, Maya gets a surprise at the airport. Ray sees the summer as an opportunity to reinvent himself, while Jimmy and Dylan turn the trip to camp into a father/daughter bonding moment.
We don't get any say?
No, not again. But
I'll think of something.
Ah, camp.
I'm really close to my family.
Okay, then. You're cleared for camp.
What are you so happy about?
But once one gets to know you,
I don't think I'm
exaggerating when I say
Also not anything someone
has really said for 20 years.
"I worked really hard on
something this morning, too.
JJ, what's going on?
Right, emergency family
meeting minus JJ plus Kenneth.
He said my poem sucked.
Okay, so he's nervous about
missing us when he goes off.
We can do this for JJ's sake, okay?
Take yo-yo king Jules Jackman.
Okay, wow me.
Also, and this is just a bonus,
Oh, I'm really gonna miss you, JJ.
"I don't want a big good-bye.
I know what that look
means. It doesn't bother me.
"Why wait?" What?
even if that means I'm not there.
"Photo not available."
I'd have two girlfriends.
Oh, JJ said he didn't want me.
got him prepared emotionally,
physically, socially...
You're welcome to come
experience the riches of Miami!
Miami!
come right before his
biggest spurts of growth.
Such intelligence from a man who
smells so strongly of coconut.
I told a friend I'd help him move.
Somehow it's less
impressive than I imagined.
Dad, it's okay.
out of a blackout or running out of gas
Come on, Daddy.
Enjoy it, sugar, for both
of the seconds we have left.
There was always an
excuse, wasn't there?
They do. We're good.
Ooh, wow, no, I can't do any of it.
But I should warn you,
I don't have a car.
My brother actually uses
this exact wheelchair.
You seem sweet.
Can't be far now.
♪ She'll be driving six
white horses when she comes ♪
Aired 7 years ago - May 10, 2017
With the school year over, Maya is excited to spend the summer with JJ, but he and Kenneth have other plans. Meanwhile, Jimmy gets special treatment at the most unlikely of places, while Dylan's identity in the family is threatened.
Oh, darling, don't judge.
You, Kenneth my friend...
You're going away...
Oh, they're at the beach
on a bike with a sidecar.
you want to go to camp all summer?
Yeah... I don't know, buddy.
Yeah, well, J.I., he
wants to go to winter camp.
my good friend J.I. and Paya.
Right this way.
Anything else?
It's all about being a regular
This is a good pace
for a beginner like you.
You were trying your
hardest, weren't you?
Enough with the flatbreads!
We still have entrées coming!
Oh! The Carl's Jr.,
where you eat for free
I'm retiring at the top of my game.
I can assure you, you will regret it.
F-I... "fish."
'Cause you know I love my brunch.
Oh, they have those, do they?
It always has been.
"And it is on the wings of your love
"I really want to go to..." C... "camp."
That just sounds so stupid.
but you need to get out of his way.
Ten, nine...
But I could give it
back... for a rematch.
but you've never spent a
single night away from home.
How are you doing, my brave man?
Do I have juice...
There's the crew! Looking sharp!
Uh... it's a boy.
Unh-unh! Aah!
You see that tree?
I'm sorry. You look so...
So small and so washed out.
a few years ago.
So, we are gonna have to
perform a lateral release.
Darling, we'll talk about it later.
Do you want to name a baby?
Yeah, I need you to talk to JJ.
It's his time to soar. Those
are your terrible words.
Yeah, it's so much more important
The fact that it's aided by pain killers
'Kay, not proud of it,
I really am a star athlete.
Aired 7 years ago - May 03, 2017
It's prom night, and all three DiMeo kids are going, which leaves Maya and Jimmy with a rare night to themselves. Kenneth is shocked to learn that they like to spend their nights without the kids to bring up past arguments they have bottled up or
ignored in the past. Later at school, Ray thinks he is finally about to have his first make-out session with a girl, but learns differently when she uses the "R" word. Meanwhile, a wary JJ bonds with someone who is sick of being the center of attention at school functions.
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[Chuckles]
Hey, everybody, JJ's here.
♪
I... Apparently at this school,
Thought so. Thanks!
Go, you know, have fun.
Here, I'll show you. [Clears throat]
Because I am, and in this
argument, you're right.
No, my ex dumped me three days ago,
"Why do we have to stay here?"
Lead the way.
then cue the guys in Reagan
masks throwing tomatoes.
My mom's outside with it. Shoot.
Why be tied down, Curtis? You're young.
I mean, there was one tiny
thing that kind of bumped me.
[Growls] I know! I-I hate her.
I don't have Dad.
I've reached my verdict.
Yes! I'm gonna have a
dog for a little bit.
[Laughter]
You know, I didn't
think you guys were cool.
All: [Whispering]
Non-prom. Non-prom.
Earlier, a word was spoken
that kind of threw me.
people get upset by anything.
Uh... my family gets really mad
But still. My family says...
and "C," that's a good thing,
"They're better."
Caroline, Is there dancing at prom?
I can just go hang
out by myself, I guess.
The court rules in favor of Jimmy.
But there's so much
stuff you haven't covered.
Oh. Yeah, I got one.
Agh. That would've been the
perfect time to bang this.
His little girlfriend said the "R" word.
♪
He has his whole life to educate people.
Perhaps I've eaten
it like everything else.
Where are we? What are we doing?
This could all go away... like that.
You know, it all sounded
different in my head.
Ray: Go away, Dylan.
when we do something dumb
'cause we think it's cute?
I was always told that word was wrong,
It's not the most logical
argument, but that passion...
Riley Mullins?
If it helps, you really made me think.
[Chuckles] I mean, yeah.
"Caroline, would you like
to go to prom with me?"
Aired 7 years ago - Apr 26, 2017
When Maya learns JJ attempted to run away, she is determined to help him complete the task as any able-bodied person could. Meanwhile, Jimmy struggles to have hard talks with the kids without Maya, and Dylan tries to get Kenneth to revive his glory days as a high school sports star.
Don't DiMeo this up.
Hottest pepper known to man...
Ah, thank God.
Oh, he's yelling at me.
"You think I'm a" B-U... "burden."
You were running away? That's
why you were at Kenneth's?
Do you still want to run away?
Did you notice anything odd
if we use this against him.
Is it adventure or are
you sending a message?
Yeah, well, you don't scare me.
about some pretty heavy stuff.
Can we drink soda and sleep on the roof?
"Hey, Mom, Kenneth used to be a"...
There's another winner in this house?
Ah. Ah, darling, darling...
in the country.
friend.
So full of myself.
Girl, you were hugging
me six seconds ago.
Not interested.
So that's what you... You want? A robe?
What kind of kid wants to wear a robe?
Are you tired, darling?
"L'Erotica"? I think not'ica.
Yeah, I wasn't sure
what would get you here.
Where's this Kenneth?
Do you know where it is now?
I can't... I can't do it. I can't do it.
I can think of someone
right off the top of my head.
you can't do everything for me."
For something so small,
I may want to run away
from the big ones sometimes,
Wheelchair badass.
Cruising, blasting tunes,
No, no need for that.
Oh, not a special-needs mom.
is because it's even more wrong
is it a game if you never scored?
A war cry?
You know, Ray, sometimes
I do have trouble
whatever JJ wants or needs,
Aired 7 years ago - Apr 05, 2017
Maya and Kenneth team up to hold JJ accountable after he cheats on an exam at school. Meanwhile, Jimmy bails Ray out of a get-rich-quick scheme, but also learns the reason behind his need for some fast cash.
I mean, between liberal guilt
and good old-fashioned terror,
Okay, have fun checking
out other careers.
These look stupid.
That is my favorite piece.
Cool diagram. It looks like a pyramid.
can literally make an infinite salary.
How can I be upset at
someone so gorgeous?
Okay, you have 30 minutes.
Oi! Jazz brunch.
I wasn't much of a student
in high school, so...
No, this ends now. Let's go.
Hmm. Imagine if I actually
did do the homework.
No, no, no, no, no. Don't
check a man's search history.
and your teachers are letting you slide.
Yeah, whatever this is, I'm gonna pass.
So, Mom, say, I was thinking about
You became a sucker in a pyramid scheme.
We don't have that kind
of money lying around.
They think that I'm gonna ask. I ain't.
other than the fact I love
the element of surprise.
Whoever said that sucks.
Not in no lounge.
"If I tried, I wouldn't get a 'D'."
I can't sell this crap to my friends.
I just called him by the wrong name.
In order... To secede from the Union.
Giovanni, my former landlord.
[Bell rings]
Like I was saying, inspired
by the runways of Paris.
You're bored.
I have one beer. Take
a sip, pass it around.
Twice as much jewelry
means twice as much of this.
You could stand to
care about it more, Dad.
♪ ♪
you're gonna go to a great college,
Dude! Let's go... your test.
Right.
You know what? There is one
thing you are dumb about...
Yes, I wore my sweater
backwards, but it was a mistake,
- I always wanted to wear a beret.
- Okay.
I thought being... Being
yourself was the answer,
Don't mind me.
Those windows are perfect.
but at least the ones I did...
I get that. I... I think it's
better to make some money.
Aired 7 years ago - Mar 15, 2017
After leaving a note behind Maya’s back, Ray takes sides against the family when Maya dings a nearby car. Following through on a promise, Jimmy and Dylan share a moment, as father and daughter are on a search in the back room at the local
supermarket while JJ teaches a rude customer a lesson, and a moonlighting Kenneth hides his side job from the DiMeos.
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Dad, look! It's Banjo Cola.
Every stuffed animal in this thing.
you've reached the age
where you remember that stuff.
Oi. Take this. Get in line.
I've just got to get one more thing.
Right. Mother/son moment
to be continued.
Did that suck?
Got it. I'll see you soon.
I get it.
His mouth says no, but his lips say yes.
Why can't the manager see us?
Excuse me. Oven boy. One, please.
I do not like all-day breakfast.
You... mid-pubescent narc!
Bad things happen
when you go against this family.
I love the kid,
but the pay's not that great,
O...kay.
Anyway, your car was dinged?
He chose a stranger over you?
Where is the loyalty?
There he is right now, inside,
smug, thinking he knows better.
Why is JJ following that guy? Ohh.
Son...
Dad, will you please
stop saying "teens"?
You're gonna die on a log,
I feel in my heart that you did!
I'm gonna go tell my daughter
she's not as bad as I thought.
I'm following through.
That's all the jam.
the only store in town
that sells saffron!
oh, we'll give them paella ingredients.
I defended that.
"Look at me. I ding cars
and don't leave notes.
Just leave that there, shall I?
Oh!
I like this "following through."
Might try it again.
Everyone says that they won't
use math when we grow up.
I'm gonna need to hear you say
I didn't ding first.
This is a really good store."
What? This dumb kid's
been coming after me
"You're damn right."
pretty weird to prove to his daughter.
Aired 7 years ago - Mar 08, 2017
Maya plans to throw a "surprise party" for Dylan, but Dylan would rather she didn't. Ray and JJ shop for a birthday present and have an adventure.
- Then make me a baby!
- Maya!
Look, Dylan is growing
and making decisions
Okay.
Dad said I'm in charge.
Who's in charge?
I want to, but then I look up,
Uh... Well... well,
what do guys talk about?
- Anything else, really.
- Yeah.
I know, but I'd already ordered
the fake wall.
I got the coolest girl
in your grade... Elle McAdams.
I see you in that safe place
where you are.
you photoshopped
into iconic images of victory,
Off my bus now!
Uh... I love music.
I'm gonna show you my setup.
We've got a thing.
but what could make this party
even bloody better?
You better believe it,
and he is dressed to impress.
Really? And you didn't just say that?
Okay, I really need to find him.
uses a wheelchair?
but tell JJ it's been real!
"This... is... my S-E-R...
She's trying to decide whether
she and Logan have a future.
- Elle thinks I'm cool. Don't you, Elle?
- You're cooler than either of my moms.
Yep. I'm fine. So's JJ.
I should take care of you."
And the elevators
are all the way down there.
[Sizzling]
[Laughing] Oh! The gloves are off, huh?
Fun fact... You're not actually
supposed to eat the charcoal.
I beat Bryce Thomas!
Yeah, but it's great. You're having fun.
I didn't want a party
because I didn't want
Good. I don't want you
worrying about what I want.
Well, I think it is
a perfectly lovely bear.
Not you.
so my dumb stuff would come first.
Oh, excuse me.
You're out of green eyeballs.
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 22, 2017
Maya feels threatened by the perceived perfection of one of the mom's at her annual Oscar party; Ray pretends to be someone he's not to impress a girl.
pre-party furniture rearrangement.
waiting to be told what to do.
Yeah, it's okay. Go on in. Have fun.
Don't change for that woman.
Ray, you were the one who found my keys.
"You're not the biggest
movie buff at this table."
"GoldenEye."
like lemmings marching to their death.
Alfonso, your wife wanted you
to sort and stack these boxes...
I got to expand this list.
[Chuckles] I was kidding.
[Laughs] This is how I stand.
my life is no movie.
- Ugh, society.
- I know.
- Right, the show's about to start.
- [Chatter over television]
We may not have cleaned our bathroom.
[Rustling]
You know, laundry day.
Oh, uh, Maya's watchinthe Oscars
See, this is working.
Sanjey, tell them to come.
Huh. Let's see.
Time to see what Lady
Potluck has in store for us.
You want to ride bikes and hold hands?
Sure. If you can get
that old thing working,
- Oh, come on, lady.
- [Door closes]
Every mom has a
problem. We'll find hers.
We'll present all questions
orally and visually
Ah, your wife thanks you.
[Hammering, indistinct conversation]
What is with you guys?
In the film "Pulp Fiction,"
that in the original script,
the briefcase had diamonds.
You want to go?
to tell you what's right or wrong.
there's only one backup.
I want to make pancakes
with the mixings I decide.
Voilà. 10-minute tiramisu.
I'm gonna take a walk.
God, don't let her to make
you feel bad about yourselves.
And I really don't like how
she makes me feel.
Mom, look. Becca gave me a French braid.
[Sighs] God.
Yeah.
She doesn't use horse
manure as shampoo."
Here you are... On your head.
Please, some scissors!
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 15, 2017
J.J. argues with Kenneth about their time together; the family become members of a country club for a week.
- That's locked.
- Gah!
Oh, darling, no, don't worry.
Just act like you belong.
I'd have you call them,
but it's 3:00 A.M. in Dubai,
♪
♪
and I need to have my feelings heard.
Huh. That feels nice.
He said "more sassy."
Well, you don't have to go home,
And Thursday,
they're doing an afternoon tea
I identify as rich!
At the club?
Good morning, JJ.
- [Chime]
- [Deep voice] Well, I beg to differ.
No biggie. I got plenty
of things to read. Uh...
Normally, all I hear from Ray
is what I'm doing wrong,
a few tips.
- A room just for coats?!
- There's free mouthwash in the loo!
As much as you can call
yacht life settling.
I think we have a lot
to talk about, Ray.
the facilities, the activities,
the hand towels.
[School bell rings]
for someone who appreciates me.
Oh! [Laughs]
I can... take those things in stride.
[Whispering] Ehhhhhh!
♪
♪
[Cellphone rings]
I made cucumber sandwiches
like at the club.
But the test is worth,
like, 20% of my grade.
That's your phone.
and his adult friend
work it out on their own.
and watch "The Parent Trap" with you?
Smooth things over? Yeah! Sure!
Maybe you spilled some juice
on the couch, Mommy got mad.
Maybe start now.
Kenneth?
It's just... hard sometimes.
Nothing's gonna change that.
Hey, what is Mom into?
What does Mom like to do?
No, but I heard what you said.
"You do have a life.
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 08, 2017
Maya gets help with Jimmy's Valentine's Day gift; Ray is excited about the prospect of having a secret admirer; J.J. distributes candy-grams.
No, it's a "JJ's disgusting" thing.
Hey.
Hey, should we be worried
We work.
Still want to look like the
guy she fell in love with.
walk in here without knocking.
Right... enough.
You want thoughtful presents?
Yeah, no, that's right. Spread the word.
Girl: Hi, Ray, it's your secret admirer.
but yours really stood out.
but I've been banned because
my dancing is too passionate.
Dylan, do we have any jodhpurs?
This was a great idea.
Dylan: Saw his video, huh?
Dylan: Yeah, what about the night
Oh, my God, and you're dad's amazing.
You are still a know-it-all, aren't you?
happens also to be the most
humiliating night of mine?
Ohh.
- What?
- That's your wife?
Dude, you ate 17 boxes of chocolate
These were tokens of love
people trusted us with.
- [Water running]
- I'm on dishes tonight.
It's Valentine's Day,
it's not that hard.
I got to blow up Valentine's Day.
Okay.
You're gonna replace
the candygrams you ate
Free cart rides, except
you got to buy a candygram.
even though I only have feelings for you.
I'm moving away.
Grabbing my fishing pole as we speak.
What?
Fiona: Do you believe me now?
How's your Valentine's Day going?
You made her make us come here.
Well, that is the most
romantic destructive thing
"Beautiful, perfect family" heat.
for thinking I could ever be loved.
You know, could be a creamy center,
♪
Girl: That is so fun!
Oh, no, thanks. I'm not interested.
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 18, 2017
Dylan becomes Kenneth’s replacement for JJ when Kenneth also gets sick. Jimmy ends up doing well with Maya’s normal duties, but he tries to keep it from her to avoid her feeling bad. Meanwhile, JJ protects Dylan from a boy she’s interested in. And
despite its illness, the family bands together and pulls an all-nighter to finish Ray’s school project.
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Hey, get in line, los...
Sorry.
Oh, my God.
You are insanely funny.
Forever.
Who moved
this bloody chair so high?
Oh, so nice and warm
inside this dead bear.
Look. I made you a list.
I have all the faith
in the world in you, Jimmy.
♪♪
is usually pretty nutritious, right?
No, no, no, no.
Parents, phones down!
I don't really care if anyone's late.
Well, you can, but...
preparing JJ's I.E.P., waiting for...
Is it Maya? I think it's Maya.
of a dockworker
who works nights at a quarry?
You are so right, Chase.
I c... it's so funny.
What? Why?
She did not!
Oh, Kenneth, I feel so guilty
spending my sick day doing this.
"Those don't look like moons."
How JJ can't deal
with my blossoming womanhood.
He's so cocky,
he's embracing his Italian-ness.
Ah...
thanks, no doubt,
to my dopamine receptors
next to the hell that
you call a Tuesday.
Daddy had a hard time, did he?
Oh! Such a relief.
"You mean a fight."
Ah, "feel important,"
the illusion of importance.
P.T., O.T.,
S.N.T. From S.S.I.?
Yeah. I am, uh, uh,
the breadwinner.
Come on!
I thought it would be
with your weird moons.
You do a lot.
Thank you.
just like a mist
without form or substance?
Ray, calm down!
and we don't even have one!
I reset the parental controls
I can't go out there
and deal with them,
that it would be hard to do,
uh, say, 300 of.
See, this is why I dig you, man.
Beca... because of
Newton's third law.
where you don't have
to m-make up all the stuff?
He also calmed down JJ,
wore out Dylan,
Everything revolves around me,
and I make things grow.
Jj! Dylan!
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 11, 2017
In order to get on the good side of their insurance agent to get everything JJ needs, the DiMeos have Dylan make a tough sacrifice at her track meet. Meanwhile, Ray wants to use his brother for inspiration while writing for an essay contest at
school, but JJ rejects his plan. But when another student lies using the same plan, Ray and JJ team together to outdo the other student.
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Would you do your impression
of your cousin Roger for me?
with the refurbished
wheelchair nonsense?
and, to be honest, I just
figured you got a boat.
At least I don't say every sentence
I could come up here and give
you the obvious answers...
'Cause he seems really
connected to the material?
But I do have pictures
of my son on Santa's lap
Thanks very much.
Oh, what makes you think
we're... we're clients?
How am I possibly going
to connect with her?
Tally-ho!
then that is a different calculation.
Oh. Hello.
with that horse-loving robot.
Holy crap! I'm good!
"Now I'm someone else's speech?"
but it's great for winning
essay contests, damn it!
I must say, your Trakehner is beautiful.
Oh, it's all I love to do.
Right.
What school? Dylan goes to Lafayette.
and go far from them and discuss.
All right, I'm...
Yeah, I'm getting to that part.
Look, your daughter
is Dylan DiMeo, right?
Are you suggesting that I tell
my daughter to throw the race?
Hello, Donald.
which, you know, that...
that may be a stretch,
Exist to make you feel
better about yourself."
You're a saint.
No, I, uh, I want to get into Pomona.
"Beat Donald's...
JJ's just stuck with
whatever this lady gives him?
but now I can.
Okay, time to write the most
epic, moving speech of all time.
All the stuff I hate."
"All I want is to help the able-bodied
"Eh, don't know much about blah-blah,
Let's write my speech.
"JJ might be skinny, but
he's got a big, fat asset...
Okay, try it again, but weirder.
Well, I have a feeling today
is going to be your day.
Go, go. Come on.
Dylan! What are you doing?!
And that is what makes him so...
- Do it!
- Screw it! Run!
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 04, 2017
The family goes on an annual impromptu family road trip, but Ray has something in store, which angers Maya when she finds out what it is. But Maya’s relentlessness proves to be helpful when she takes control of an emergency situation involving Ray’s appendix.
Uh... uh...
There were two separate stands
selling soap,
- I'll give it to you.
- Oh!
Ooh! I know vocab words.
I'm just gonna throw these away.
- They were, actually.
- Yeah?
No offense, guys.
- I'm sorry?
- Two waters. How much?
"A really old song."
Tell me these are not the most delicious
strawberries you've ever had.
Magical, wonderful things...
Where... are we?
We would like to check in, sir.
I have to admit, it has been
a pretty awesome day.
♪ Mommy was right ♪
Lefts have it.
Tidying up the car.
"We T-U... turned because of that song."
I knew you guys couldn't resist
following back to its home
I hope to make it there
sometime in the future, too.
it's still, you know,
kind of... I think... very great.
I-I... give JJ lots of knowledge,
Oh, well, well, look who's back.
Well, it's just you're not
wearing a name tag anymore.
before I didn't fit in here.
High five.
Oh, that... could be anybody.
Ray and Raja, give me back my life!
Where are my yoga pants?
It hasn't even left my sight.
It says "Stop"! Yeah!
Where do the aides hang out?
Ooh! Secret handshake!
Don't just start driving!
My plan is great!
"Don't believe him.
Oh, darling, don't worry.
You're good.
"You got this. No doubt."
...do not get to have
anything go wrong with you.
I'm gonna perform it myself.
Aired 7 years ago - Dec 14, 2016
Maya surprises everyone by embracing a newfound holiday spirit, but her view is put to the test when the family van is stolen along with all their holiday gifts. Ray joins the choir and gets a coveted solo. But when an attractive new teacher is hired, JJ decides to join his brother and takes Ray's solo.
For chairing our bake sale,
Amy, thank you.
of the car-wash fundraiser.
Making a note so I don't forget.
Of course not! It was stolen!
My van has been stolen...
My child's wheelchair van.
- "For your résumé?"
- At first.
It's not just the van.
But... did it have, like, the...
the... the water jets?
But... Oh, no. How's JJ gonna get around?
I mean, maybe whoever took
it needed it more than us.
They didn't take that
stuff too, did they?
- ♪ Remember Christ, our Savior ♪
- What is your plan?
Okay, JJ's power chair
only fits in the van,
I can't believe someone stole that van.
We are gonna get this Christmas season
- [Indistinct conversations]
- Oh, yeah.
What a thrill to have so many people here
Phew! Whew!
Sorry, sir. Full up.
This card's been declined, as well.
pounding inside the chest of...
[Beep-boop, wheelchair powers down]
They should be out on
the field, not in choir.
What does that even mean?
Oh, no, um, I'm sorry.
[Chuckles]
♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh,
hear the angel voice-e-es ♪
You just earned yourself a solo!
Uh-oh.
♪ ♪
[Gasps] Did you find it?
We've got to find the car!
Oh! I'm so sorry.
I have literally no idea where we parked.
"Concert tomorrow. Saving my voice."
But I can never fight back,
because you're JJ!
[Branches rustle, ornaments clink]
They were in the van when it was taken.
I don't want you thinking the
world is a miserable place,
[Piano playing, tap-shoes clicking]
He just said our name.
one of our own families, the DiMeos,
[Applause]
Well, I mean, not...
not... not all of you.
[Sighs]
And now, everyone
please give a special welcome
I know it's about the kid,
but you could widen the spotlight.
Ray?"
Aired 7 years ago - Dec 07, 2016
JJ instantly wants to join a sled hockey team made up entirely of people with disabilities, but Jimmy is not thrilled and thinks it’s dangerous. Meanwhile, Maya takes a CPR class with Kenneth, and she sees how popular he is and realizes that she needs to be nicer in order to keep him as JJ’s aide.
Table top, so it's perfect JJ height.
I'm sorry. Is this an incantation
Oh, no, that's my cute, uh, nickname
The famous sled-hockey player?
Are you sure it's safe?
I know you don't want to hear from me.
Nice catch, my man. Kenneth.
You're making the rest of us look bad.
Aside from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Maya, stop. That's enough.
I love my life.
You're part of the team... A big part.
Introduce you to "Ms. Pac-Man,"
you just blow her off.
There were some disabled guys on sleds
I thought you'd agree with me.
It was like hockey hockey!
He could get hurt.
Is he different from them?
There's a couple at CPR...
I think they want to steal him.
What? 'Cause I got a shirt on?
And I say Kenneth is great.
She texted me the other day, Tracey did.
All right, class, let's get started.
No, we don't want it.
Oh!
We own you. Good job, JJ.
I need it to relax and contemplate
Huh.
Oh!
Uh, I'm not that good at cutting bagels.
What? Mind... blown.
So, after the draft, I'm tired,
and so I take a nap.
Did they also tell you how I teared up
Or what? Are you gonna journal about it?
- Gross!
- Well, it's true.
there will be no solid
food at this table.
Why?
On a scale from 1 to 10,
he's down to a 13.
and in them, somebody always
stands up and starts yelling
You don't like people
clapping and letting you win?
Aired 7 years ago - Nov 30, 2016
Maya enlists the family to assist JJ in romancing a girl at school, but it backfires when JJ expresses his feelings to Claire, and they are not reciprocated. Meanwhile, as the DiMeos are always late, Ray has the family practice to get to school in time for his upcoming weekend field trip.
Son, that is typical.
I don't want JJ to get
his heart broken, Jimmy.
No, you can't.
A dog that poops, fun.
How are you gonna tell Dad?
She has won my heart.
Aah! I hate it!
JJ can't put the moves
on her if I'm in there.
It's like a Richard
Pryor/ Gene Wilder movie.
but as a wing man for
JJ, you kind of suck.
- JJ needs a ramp to this girl's...
- Heart.
With all due respect,
the night went better than you think.
"Please, please, please?"
Are you gonna be doing all those things?
And you ain't invited.
it will be preparation,
work, and precision.
JJ, your date is here.
You had me at hello.
Claire is eating her olives.
You used my account
to go buy those dolls?
- Miss Watson...
- What do you want?
"Do you have to watch?
when it's time to give us the signal.
You think everything is the
green light, hot tub man.
I couldn't do it without you.
How's my right, darling?
I give up.
You don't have to like some
toy to be special to me.
You don't have to kill anybody,
but you're special.
No?
She gets her cast off tomorrow."
I need to tell her A-L-alone.
I spent my life savings
on this car service.
Ray? Ray, come on. Let's go.
They always talk girls
when they think I'm asleep.
when you're in a wheelchair."
So, I am just going
to tell you how I feel.
Aired 8 years ago - Nov 16, 2016
The DiMeos are forced to celebrate Thanksgiving with Jimmy's brother and family.
Yeah, all right. Okay, bye.
Seriously. I'm not being rude.
would have developed some understanding,
I'll assume that moving
is a standing ovation.
with diamonds all around it?
Ooh, hold on!
You're gonna try and draw out
"Does the game have stakes?"
You keep stressing like that,
at a family event, there's only one play.
They're here!
Douchey, not a brag.
I have something "muy caliente" prepared.
His hearing is actually perfect.
and I've created a drama force field.
Mom said two more hours at 325.
Very sad.
Yaaass!
Like they've never seen a rich
guy save the planet before.
I should just run for mayor.
Everyone's asking me to.
75 degrees!
Well, you know that
because you are a chef.
Your dad's cleaning up,
and he's not even trying.
You think they'll notice that
our turkey has 16 tiny legs?
Take a hint!
You know, Ray, uh,
I wonder if you noticed back there,
and it's just Crap on Kenneth Day.
Okay, four seconds ago,
I didn't know your last name.
I'm just saying it's stressful
having all that horsepower.
with my old junker any day.
I don't think I poked,
Oh, hell no!
Is that my granny's urn?
And then I tried to claw my way back
and 800 grand from your dad.
What game?
that's so ridiculous anyway?
Yeah, tell her, honey. Meh, meh.
because you've got problems.
I'm glad the game came out.
I love that idea, Maya.
and unfairly transferred
some things onto you.
How much honesty were
you looking for today?
Yeah, well, I'm poor now.
I got to mix it up.
I'm not sure you're gonna get your TV.
Aired 8 years ago - Nov 09, 2016
JJ develops on a new girl at school who must adapt to life in a wheelchair after injuring herself in gymnastics.
She's a spirited student
who was recently injured.
and so I was hoping that JJ
If anybody asks, you didn't get it from me.
Mmm. This tastes so much
better than gymnastics.
Mnh-mnh-mnh.
I know our signs are compatible...
not the point.
My parents are going through a divorce,
You are a miracle worker, JJ.
"Have you ever spoken in front
of a larger group of people?
More like loose melons, am I right?
You know, I'm not really
a kiss-and-tell kind of guy.
My glass is empty. Ha-ha!
but I don't know.
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
You know, he can close his door.
Aww!
It was going so well!
Hey, Ray. How's that,
uh, vow of celibacy?
Or we could check for
pictures of her on your phone.
She sent me a sext.
I'm not in a teasing mood, Jimmy.
The most important man in the
world in our local trophy shop.
Two for the price of one. That's fun.
Yeah. Get it, get some.
That's it. Yep.
Dude, not loving this new square.
I did it.
I know how girls see me.
So, my mom just texted me.
Yes.
Young man. Young man!
Sorry I'm late. What's the occasion?
Now, this is the first time
something so, well...
Attention, ladies and gentlemen.
Okay, if I'm not strumming
that ukulele by tomorrow,
with the saddest tan
lines I've ever seen
And I guess I'm a freak, but I'm sorry.
You, my dude, look ready.
Just be yourself.
Well, what are you waiting for?
All this talk of celibacy
and male friendship,
Oh, my God, what? Is it a baby?
You twit.
But you're not getting
in trouble for this.
If looking at the stars is
supposed to calm me down,
Sometimes I need to blow off some steam.
So you get angry.
Aired 8 years ago - Oct 26, 2016
Jimmy is upset the kids no longer want to participate in the family tradition of dressing up for Halloween. Maya tries to cheer up Jimmy by allowing him to do things he loves by taking things off the family "Dead to Me" list. Meanwhile, Ray recruits
Dylan to help work the school's haunted mansion while Kenneth is scared of losing his job when JJ gets drunk at a party.
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-LESS
I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow.
You guys heard about my
party Halloween night, right?
"Great. See you there."
Yeah, and I want to sing "Monster Mash"
Ray, I love you, buddy, but
the next sigh will be your last.
"I have a party."
- We need to talk to Dad.
- What? At this hour?
This man does so much for us.
I deserve this."
I'd like to call this meeting to order.
Off that, perhaps... jack-o'-lanterns.
I saw how to do it
on "Locked Up Abroad."
- [Snoring]
- Stop it!
That physically hurts.
All right, buddy. Let's hit the road.
- Yes, I will.
- Happy Halloween.
and it hasn't happened
that many times... today...
- Tighty-whities?
- Mm-hmm.
Maybe we just take a spin
through and head home.
Okay. I'm... I'm dead.
♪
[Clatter]
their emotions are so raw
You're gonna be
camouflaged with that wall.
Yes! Do that! That works!
Uh, wait, what?
[Rap music plays]
I'm fine with the ska,
Two boys and one girl, like ours.
Our babies are gone. Forever.
Why'd you say that? How does that help?
to hear you say that.
♪
I'll tell you what the big "shhdeal" is.
Who needs the kids, right?
Both: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
I'm in love with her.
The thing about pig's blood
is it just smells so bad.
'cause she'll see in
you what you see in her.
Dylan: Thanks, Mom, but...
Yeah. "But all that fun
has me feeling tired.
Uh, come along, my little
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Aired 8 years ago - Oct 12, 2016
Exploring the city on their own, JJ and Kenneth realize strangers look at them as inspirational. The two push their luck, receiving free food and baseball game admissions. Kenneth lets this get to his head, goes overboard, and things fall apart.
Meanwhile, as the family can’t do anything without having to worry about wheelchair accessibility, Dylan and Ray convince Maya to take them paintballing. But can she let herself have fun without JJ?
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-LESS
I've got the perfect fun
thing for us to do without JJ.
Here's what we'll do. I'll
go and gather a few supplies.
But you're gonna let him use the bat?
G-U-Y-F...
Uh, thank you.
but you're treating him
with such tenderness.
Might this extend to other
non-hot-dog situations?
Thank you, guys. Thank you.
I fixed your hammer.
I'm not handy! She did it again. Ha!
would play too much into her
deep-seated issues of guilt.
Hello. Might it be fun
to loan me your saw?
We widened the doors,
smoothed off the edges.
You didn't widen the door.
You narrowed the chair.
Could we first take a moment
to examine your choice?
Healthy/appropriate and
unhealthy/inappropriate.
All right, screw it. Let's
go and do paintball, shall we?
Announcer: Please
welcome to the field
[Organ playing]
♪
And yet you do believe.
That's how good I am.
"Enough of that.
Give them a little... mwah... lips.
♪ At the old ballgame ♪
[Breathing heavily]
There is no time out.
Why are we still doing this?
Hey, we're surrounded! Circle up!
E-N... "Enough."
[Door opens] Yoo! [Laughs]
♪
and he doesn't complain.
All I do is complain.
Oh, my God. This is all my fault.
[Laughs] This is gonna be great.
[Sighs] We can fix this. Uh...
Look at us, thinking of
a way to make it work.
I can't believe they
think I don't have any fun.
Hon...
Wow. You guys sure make a cute team.
"Today was about what
I... W-A... wanted.
JJ, I am so, so sorry.
Maybe something can be salvaged here.
Aired 8 years ago - Oct 05, 2016
While JJ finds success at school with a group of friends, Maya forces the cancellation of the homecoming bonfire, concerned that the beach location is not wheelchair accessible. Soon, the students speak out against JJ. But when Maya realizes she was
wrong, the two stage a fake prank to encourage his classmates to have a change of heart. Meanwhile, Jimmy helps Ray settle into the new home,
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-LESS
Hey! Yeah!
but now that we're being
honest, it's all that matters!
[Laughter]
That sucks!
that we're walking together.
Help me with this soda bottle!
"Hey, Girl," and "Kanye."
This goes here.
and Friday night, we're
gonna stomp all over Eastlake!
to a student who I will not name,
"I didn't E-X-pect you to
cancel Kylie Jenner," I mean "it."
Deaf mom canceled jazz band.
[Chuckles] He barely
even looks at her anymore.
We're worried about you.
And every night in my dreams,
the lions chase me and eat me.
[Sighs]
Our garbage is in the garbage.
but I asked myself, "What's
more important?
This is a dream come true.
Or however many you can hang...
The stench of teenage hormones
should be overpowering!
Wait. No, no, no! You can't leave.
I am texting Jillian
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Your love of matching
furniture, my love of trash.
Who wants to give voice to
their frustration about this event?
Thank you, Kayla. Who
else feels this way?
Now I'm gonna be all
horny during the game.
Girl: Yeah, he's right.
How is your homework always so bad?
Enough!
Come on, JJ!
No, it's our trivet.
Drive! Drive!
I am 13, and I had to give up pickles!
You want to know how?
But look at your brother.
But guess what... We're not normal.
I got it, Dad. I'm bulletproof, too.
You've been to alternative bonfires?
I see the way that you fight
for this guy, and it's beautiful.
Well, you know... Really
not a compliment.
"Can I, uh, tell you something?"
We'll figure it out
together... Separately.
Aired 8 years ago - Sep 28, 2016
Maya struggles as Kenneth takes over as JJ’s full-time aide. Loving his new freedom, JJ avoids attending a physical therapy appointment, and Maya automatically blames Kenneth, using any excuse to confirm her misgivings and moves to fire him. Meanwhile, Jimmy struggles to teach Dylan the family way to not be so neighborly.
"...trial... basis."
It's all day. I
can't get a minute alone.
I want to say 12...
It's the DiMeo way.
We've set the bar nice and low.
Jimmy. My name's Jimmy.
the name of a wonderful landscaper,
And this is sunblock
'cause he's very fair.
I admit, I don't have this figured out.
Don't you and Zane
have Spanish together?
Did he just put you on the phone?
Are you a sports guy
or, uh, you into music?
It's a girl's shirt, man.
And I also found the perfect
short thing to say
Come on. Lousy neighbors.
People hate jerks.
saying, "I'm a weirdo.
Oh, dude! We got to go.
Are you trying to be adorable right now?
I mean, he's got this new
aide, and, I mean, I just...
Ray! Get in here!
All: Yeah!
Be aggressive!
I think I'll manage.
You have a petite gait
with a 20-degree kickout.
little toe mound, big toe mound.
Wouldn't you just say "Not appreciate"?
You know what? Give me your keys.
Stop making excuses for the
man. I don't want to hear it.
- I'm not saying that.
- What?
This is about not keeping the house up.
Tom! We're neighbors!
No. Yeah. I've seen him.
The job is about
JJ's dignity and safety.
I'll be sure to convey that.
You seem... broken up.
All right. All right, it's all good.
Yeah, no need to thank me. We're boys.
Terminate a child's aide based on race
Have you heard about these
glowing worms in New Zealand
Aired 8 years ago - Sep 21, 2016
Maya DiMeo moves her family to a new, upscale school district when she finds the perfect situation for her eldest son, JJ, who has cerebral palsy. While JJ and daughter Dylan are thrilled with the move, middle son Ray is frustrated by the family's
tendencies to constantly move, since he feels his needs are second to JJ Soon, Maya realizes it is not the right situation for JJ and attempts to uproot the family again. But JJ connects with Kenneth, the school's groundskeeper, and asks him to step in as a his caregiver, and Ray manages to convince Maya to give the school another chance,
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-LESS
a voice.
It's right next to the freeway.
Knock on it.
GâIâRâLâS.
She thinks it's gonna fix
everything, but it won't,
You're doing great in school.
I was gonna go there and pack.
Everybody wants to
drive around with a fat guy.
IâI did.
JJ is so excited.
Well, it's a she, and...
and we are so glad that you're here
to a sea slug,
Bye, kids! Have a great day!
It's space genius Stephen Hawking.
Okay, crash course
in basic human dignity.
Bottle... Drunk by a person.
You're a person, Dr. Miller.
Look, Miss...
I don't like him.
Your classmates have
something they want to share with you.
He says, "Eat a bag of..."
Sorry, Coach. 72
seconds? That's not amazing.
Sign my petition?
Build a wheelchair ramp?
I don't care.
Whitman? Marshall?
Can I help you?
Jillian.
"I'm not staying anywhere
that I'm not wanted... period."
JJ's decided I sound
like a fairy godmother.
Can you guys give it another shot?
Let's move. On to the next mistake.
Ray, I may find the fights,
but they start them.
Maya, towel.
Yep. There's Mom's car.
I'm not a big heights guy.
Are you hiring, Blind Side Jr.?
"I don't want applesauce."
I'm kind of liking this act.
You said I wasn't allowed to get a dog.