Aired 6 years ago - Mar 20, 2018
Honey plans a relaxing vacation before the baby comes, but Jessica turns the trip into a crazy quest to get Stephen King’s endorsement for her novel. When Grandma Huang decides to move out, Louis panics and does everything he can to make sure she
knows how welcome she is. Meanwhile, Eddie, Nicole and their friends plan to wear matching suits to the school dance until a dress code demands that the girls must wear dresses, leading Eddie and Nicole to rebel.
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I'm down to go as a group.
If it's cool, cool.
from "Dumb and Dumber"?
illuminating experience.
It wasn't an accident.
We're taking a quick detour to Maine.
I felt bad about Stephen King's letter
They just have more
rocks and family secrets.
You know what? Let's go to Maine!
Hey, Jessica, it's me.
and you sweep their
driveway until you die.
when I forget to wash the dishes.
so I'm gonna take it.
I mean, how long did you
think this was gonna last?
Never gets old!
Enjoy smelling like a lady,
But we just got here.
So, Alison and I can't wear tuxedos?
Just wear a skirt.
You wear them all the time.
- Flea?
- No. Not Flea.
whatever orange clothes she wants.
so you can get all your
favorite British soap operas.
_
Stephen can assume many different looks.
Stephen King. He eats here all the time.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I-I'm his plumber, Martin.
♪ Somewhere out there ♪
♪ And loving me tonight ♪
♪ And when the night wind starts
to sing a lonesome lullaby ♪
Yeah, that's why you have to go.
I'm gonna show 'em, you know?
No! I haven't had 10 minutes
to relax this entire trip!
on the way to the St. Bernard rescue.
Not to take away from the moment,
but, Nicole,
Hey, are you the ones who got kicked out
'cause of your outfits?
It's called "dedication."
Stephen gets it.
You have been so obsessed
with getting this quote
but you have to make time
Aired 6 years ago - Mar 13, 2018
After Louis buys Kenny Rogers’ stake in Cattleman’s Ranch back, he starts to doubt his instincts as sole owner. Frustrated by his cautiousness, Jessica flies in Madam Xing to ease Louis’ anxiety, but that only stresses him out more – to the point of
breaking a tooth. Marvin’s laughing gas finally helps Louis relax, but side effects of strange visions accompany his relief. Meanwhile, Evan gives up watching Regis and Kathie Lee for Lent, leading his older brothers to mess with his head.
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The restaurant is our pelts.
I can't wait
till I'm reincarnated.
Every time we die,
In my next life, I plan on achieving
It takes you a while, Louis,
but you finally get there.
She uses math. She has a CPA.
She graduated from FSU.
I sit 'cause I don't like
having my back to the door
Matthew?
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
Evan, cover your eyes and ears.
We're gonna watch "Baywatch."
Ugh! I cannot take 40 days of this.
and I appreciate you
coming to apologize...
So, I had a quick cigar
outside the terminal.
Of course not.
I used our credit card points.
Jessica, can I have some ice water?
she was right about
Honey having a boy...
My first time to Florida.
After you left,
we turned on "Regis and Kathie Lee."
Because he didn't wear underwear.
And you call yourself
a student of religion.
Something else is coming into focus.
Yes. Now give me those nice hands.
Decisive action.
That's progress.
No, she says there's a lot
of sensation in that part.
well, he was, you know, natural.
And what's it gonna be
like when my son and I
There might be something to this
reincarnation stuff after all!
Uh, I just can't give gas
to people for the fun of it.
I don't feel anything. Turn it higher.
- Lunch?
- I could eat.
Ooh, does baby like the new humidifier?
Honey and Marvin's white baby?!
I am not supposed to be here.
Let's talk about this.
You wanted people to
not rush in and mull.
As soon as I can walk,
I'm coming for you.
I wish she and Madame Xing
had never gone to the beach.
I would have lived instead
of being eaten by the ocean.
Or maybe they wouldn't. I don't know.
_
_
_
Maybe in your next life,
Aired 6 years ago - Feb 27, 2018
The Huangs are pleasantly surprised to find that Eddie has been awarded a spot in the Honor Society, but Evan is particularly bothered by the news. Meanwhile, Jessica receives a note from her book editor to improve her cop dialogue and signs up for
a ride-along to better her writing. Then, on St. Patrick’s Day, Matthew Chestnut doesn’t have the luck of the Irish on his side when Louis receives orders from Kenny Rogers to fire him.
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I'm taking you downtown.
'Take a look, Hong.
so I can see what a real
police officer does all day.
Hey, hey, hey!
Let's get this sham a-rocking, shall we?
Yes! [LAUGHS]
I'm waiting for something
exciting to happen.
- I'm not bored.
- Yeah, you seem bored.
[HORN HONKS] There's my ride.
[DOOR CLOSES] [SIGHS]
Oh, no, no, no.
What's going on?
Marvin rips open cereal
bags like an animal.
When the Monica Lewinsky news broke,
Because they're cops.
Hey, you!
Thanks.
or the poop is in the back
and I am in the front.
Save it for the sea.
similar to soccer, but instead of balls,
Thank you! Finally!
It's a damn party in here.
but we have to follow
procedure to the letter.
Suddenly. Like Susan.
[CHUCKLES]
Looks like rigor mortis set in.
[ALL CHEERING]
♪ On a warm summer's evenin'
on a train bound for nowhere ♪
or should I have tapped
him on the shoulder?
You're in the Honor Society?
Jerk move, little bro.
Mm-mnh.
I've seen bodies before, at funerals,
That's good. I can use that.
"The Gambler" said it right...
Listen, you don't have to pray for death
[GROANS]
or I'll cite you all for
drunk and disorderly.
[GASPS] The fuzz.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Aired 6 years ago - Feb 06, 2018
For Chinese New Year, the Huangs play a game where they can only speak in Mandarin, which quickly turns into a tense competition between Jessica and Evan, putting Jessica’s first televised interview for her novel in jeopardy. Emery is excited to end
his year of bad luck and finally ask his crush to the spring fling, but when he is still having trouble, Louis decides to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Eddie doesn’t receive a red envelope from Big Auntie and enlists Grandma Huang’s help to figure out why she’s angry with him.
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_
Oh. Uh...
Now, we're gonna level with you, Jess.
Both of you are so uninvited
to my Kentucky Derby bash.
Bye. Diversity checked.
_
Get the keys, throw out the spare tire,
That's weird. Mine's not in there.
but I guess mine's never gonna end.
I danced, son.
♪ And me, the groove,
and my friends ♪
I just... can't take another rejection.
_
Mmm. Interesting.
Well, let's just say his
secret is having a dad
The New York Times...
Remember what I said about
making your own luck?
We will begin by taking a vote
on the new bylaw proposals.
_
_
Especially all of our
African-American friends.
You are? About what?
_
But walking in a mesh tank
top with fireworks is okay?
Thanks for the invite to
come by and watch "Jeopardy!"
Yeah! I got it right!
comes from words meaning
"terrible lizard."
You're going on TV tomorrow.
What are you gonna do?
How is Emery cocky?
The Emery before your
bad-luck year was confident,
Ride the tiger low and
with measured enthusiasm.
Dad,
you're the reason I got into TV Guide?
You don't know me,
but I'm here as an age-appropriate face
Relax, Celeste.
I can't believe your mom's
going through with this.
Lady, I'm just doing what I was told.
_
_
Let's get this kid out of here!
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 30, 2018
When Michelle Kwan comes in second place at the Olympics, Jessica tries to keep it from Emery and Evan, only to get caught up in an elaborate conspiracy theory that leads them seeking answers from Nancy Kerrigan. Meanwhile, Louis changes Eddie’s
bedtime to spend more quality time together watching Letterman, but feels slighted when Eddie spends his newfound free time elsewhere.
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Oh, and I also don't like how
your new secretary is a man.
We'll just buy a Kenny hat or
a bolo tie or a guitar pick.
Student of the Month, here I come.
What do you think of the theme
"A Night to Remember"?
[GASPS] My eyes!
and he's already taken off like 40 bras.
EVAN: I'm sorry I lost my temper
Mr. Tim... if you need someone to help,
Because they're so stupid and unfocused!
I know this is controversial...
Hear me out.
Everywhere I turn,
people are talking about Kenny Rogers.
agree with you.
[INHALES DEEPLY] Oh, boy.
[GASPS] Nonsense!
about being up for Student of the Month?
Ohhh.
That's a school word for "therapist".
Remember to fight the urge
to light things on fire.
Mrs. Wong,
Evan came to his own conclusion
I have a son with no ambition.
I know what that looks like.
I provide a safe, judgment-free space
If anyone's going to talk to my son,
it's me!
which you'll find on the
left-hand corner of your menus.
There might be a little
pageantry if you do.
Like Willy Wonka's chocolate river,
except with chili
You could talk to me the
same way you talk to him...
How are you feeling today...
Not normal or normal?
Mr. Tim said you don't
want this anymore.
Yes. Of course.
Thank you for chopping down that tree
I feel my pillow girl losing interest.
Not a single person ordered my chili.
that we can pay for with
my Student Garden profits.
who doesn't know a
scone from a muffin...
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe in there.
And he's only known
Evan for five minutes.
I never did,
no one in my family ever did.
I will admit that Evan could
benefit from talking to you.
Well, how do you think
barbers get their hair cut?
I think I pushed him into
having a panic attack.
Well, there's more to
grade-skipping than just academics.
Evan is a very special kid.
Here you go, sir...
Louis Huang's Five Alarm Chili.
back wherever I came from...
In my hometown city.
That's right.
Oh, no! He's having a panic attack!
It's beautiful.
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 30, 2018
When Michelle Kwan comes in second place at the Olympics, Jessica tries to keep it from Emery and Evan; Louis changes Eddie's bedtime, hoping to spend more quality time together watching Letterman.
for the first guest on "Letterman,"
until 11:45.
Whoa!
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
ANNOUNCER: In a stunning upset,
How could she not win?!
and still come in second,
they'll never work hard again.
What happened to the tape?
- I knew she could!
- Whoo!
_
On a school night? Are you crazy?
That's a woman.
Well, I hope whatever you
were doing was worth it
Let's just go to bed,
Oh, this is interesting.
USA! USA!
No, Honey. Michelle Kwan won.
Right, Mom?
- What?
- Think about it.
He missed Andie MacDowell, huh?
Ah, 14.
overseeing the
construction of the railway
the young males become unruly
and defiant, even violent.
Watch.
Eddie and I aren't like that.
We're friends.
Only discipline can bring
the herd back together.
Emery, let's bring her up to speed.
instead of Osaka with
all the other athletes.
and then doesn't go to
the Opening Ceremony?
Like she knew she couldn't lose.
It's exactly 34 miles.
Unfortunately, it's just a theory.
but I am still your father.
I'm hugging you.
He's been... intense lately.
So, you're not the adolescent elephant.
us spending more time together.
[CHUCKLES]
and we can talk about this?
How about, "Believe in yourself"?
Yes! It didn't work out.
And that's why she was kept "off site."
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 16, 2018
With Jessica’s career as an author taking off, Louis worries that she is losing interest in him and attempts to rekindle the flame under Marvin’s guidance. Evan skips his way into Emery’s seventh grade English class with a particularly hard-to-please teacher, Ms. Doris. When neither can win her over, they seek advice from an unusual source.
I asked her why once,
and she said, "Oh, I wear them!"
When the boy visits
Santiago's shed each night,
I said that's right.
Hey, Stripes. To the back.
Ooh. Oh, oh! I know, I know!
He arrived via Amtrak.
Uh, Jessica, can I talk to you?
he's edited a lot of successful authors.
He says if I really
nail these revisions,
Because earlier they were bothering you.
I'm this close to being Ms. Doris'
favorite.
Let me explain something to you.
I don't care enough about
this to watch it conclude.
All right.
I bought Jessica a fly swatter,
and she totally didn't care.
Male Terry.
Then time marches on,
and you drift a little bit apart.
Must... erase... board.
What's this?
You won't need your
keyboard in the bedroom.
♪ Or the highlights in your
hair that catch your eyes ♪
I even offered to tickle her head.
Oh, but Terry's in town,
she's on a deadline...
On her desk,
in a folder marked "memories."
And then it was picture day,
If you had seen "Spice World,"
you'd realize that life
I'm committing his
instructions to memory.
I was going to take you
on a romantic picnic.
15-Year Itch?
Don't you care about our marriage?
But this one time,
I have something that is just mine,
So how about we say
"marital misunderstanding"
I'll bet this is the first
time you've ever seen a husband
That's what most husbands think.
Let's never let a teacher
come between us again.
Yeah. There's, uh...
That's because you need
to use a microfiber towel.
I know.
I was hoping I could give you a ride.
Just so you know, I brought both.
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 09, 2018
Eddie gets annoyed when he catches Nicole changing her opinions in order to impress her new crush, Jackie. Louis is eager to expand his social circle with Matthew Chestnut’s friends, but Jessica fears her sometimes-too-generous husband is
overextending himself. When Emery and Evan take Honey shopping to find her a new, easy style to help her when the baby comes, their idea of a “mom” wardrobe is met with some resistance.
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On the ground.
Hey, Eddie.
I'll come with you on the date,
"Yeah. What job you interested in?"
with little notes that say, "Congrats.
Now you have hep-C."
This is a maternity store.
This is my favorite sushi place.
on your way home from the video store.
for the millionth time.
Oh. Okay.
Um, it's nice to meet you guys.
Helping them move,
de-popcorning their ceiling,
you spread yourself too thin.
and eat hot wings. That's it.
We'll go hang out with
Jackie on her lunch break,
It's definitely low-maintenance,
Hello, Hooter.
I'm looking for my husband.
He likes to shuffle his feet
when he finishes sentences.
to a gas station with a slushie machine!
That's a better story, actually.
So you don't like French?
Don't cry.
she'll think so, too.
I'm super into Third Eye Blind.
s-so... so you'd like me.
There's a whole world out there.
And I'm not gonna start that again now.
What are you wearing?
I'm getting hours of my life back,
Aired 6 years ago - Jan 02, 2018
Honey is excited to attend a parenting class that encourages moms to listen to their babies taught by self-proclaimed child sage, Wilhelmina Page, but when her mother, Anne, ridicules the idea, it exposes communication issues of their own. When
Honey turns to Jessica for support, she is disappointed to find that even her best friend doesn’t have her back. Meanwhile, Louis and Marvin are thrilled when they get to go on the free cruise their wives won on “Wheel of Fortune,” but their boys’ trip quickly turns into a gambling getaway gone south. Back in Orlando, Eddie’s friends are wary of his new crush at school.
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Dragonflies don't have stingers.
Look. She's right there.
♪ I'm looking for a partner ♪
I'll show you where the
good bathroom is, too.
Well, I don't care what
you read about in Forbes,
Breast-feeding is
efficient and economical.
Oh.
I'm like a universal remote.
Where were those people
when I pushed off for Guam?
[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Have you heard of this new thing called
"Co-sleeping"
Anyway, Jessica and I started talking,
It's about time someone said it.
You're supposed to be on my side.
Well, then it should be
given a MacArthur Grant
and catering to it every time it cries.
Y-You want to come?
Eddie, I have bad news.
As a ginger who's been
repeatedly objectified,
Nah, man.
I'm not spending any money on this trip.
For centuries,
author of "Hear Me:
My Nine Months in the Womb,"
And your baby is trying
to pound out a message
Let me get the questionnaires.
Snickers all day.
Oh, no. My shoe is also untied,
and I, too, need help.
Okay, let's review your
questionnaire responses.
It depends on what your
baby is telling you,
Affection is a powerful motivator.
so step right over here,
grab a cloth and a melon.
Well, the best way to be supportive
just nodding along with everything.
JESSICA: Honey,
we have to be honest with you...
You said we were gonna
be honest with Honey.
- but she is not a liar.
- Truth!
Well, you need to be controlled.
I guess your best friend and I
She runs away and
wants me to follow her.
Wow, your ex-boo really changed
his look over the years...
I-I never really thought about it,
I thought it was gonna
be about Malcolm X,
Happy? That make you feel good?
I'll pay for it in moles later,
but it was worth it.
Aired 7 years ago - Dec 12, 2017
As head of the HOA Christmas committee, Jessica threatens to cut the neighborhood caroling this year due to last year’s rocky performance. However, Deirdre says that her friend Holly (Paula Abdul), who teaches “Performance and Movement,” will help
get everyone into tip-top, melodic shape. Meanwhile, Marvin becomes suspicious of Honey when she goes to see “Titanic” at the movies without him; Nicole develops her first girl crush and struggles with how to get her attention.
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Ah, is that your Lao Ban Santa costume?
Oh, come on. Your hair looks great.
♪ And a partridge in a pear ♪
Jessica Huang... HOA Christmas chair.
A-Actually, my mom's Canadian,
so we can watch it together at home.
Unlike the supposedly
water-tight compartments
♪ I really need you tonight ♪
♪ A total eclipse of the heart ♪
I didn't bring any Kleenex,
♪ Go on ♪
♪ Go on ♪
♪ And my heart will ♪
could process more than
six people in a door frame,
I'm sorry. You didn't make the cut.
Jessica, you're a wonderful singer.
I was kidding.
Hey, Marvin! What brings you by?
And Honey told me that
she went to the gym,
She's been acting very strangely lately.
I feel like the show "Friends"
We met playing piccolo.
Well, I'm off to rehearsal.
he found your ticket stub
and a box of Goobers.
Like in "Titanic" when Billy Zane
- We can't go see it again.
- No way. No.
I know what you need to do, Nicole.
I'm gonna go grab some coffee cups
It's crazy, I know,
Are you the Goober queen?
for you to go through all
this just to see it again.
at 7:20, 7:40, 7:50,
Oh, I fired her.
I took your advice,
the day after her birthday.
I think you're being too critical.
♪ All seem to say,
throw cares away ♪
Evan was so excited about caroling,
I knew you were hiding something.
your Christmas gift, Fish Stick.
I know you'll figure out a way
"What up, girl, you gay?
Aired 7 years ago - Dec 05, 2017
Eddie begins to think he needs to find cooler friends to make his mark in high school; Jessica decides to pocket the money she is given to have her photograph professionally taken for her book.
I would love to.
Hey, bud.
Really hoped it wouldn't come to this.
Three people said, "All the time"?
I did do something wrong.
How often do you talk your
friends about baking soda?
Now they're trying to stop it...
This is happening!
Sorry, Eddie. I guess we are good boys.
Who said I was afraid?
Personally, I'd rather be
anywhere else on a Saturday,
Okay, that's it.
My smile is off.
"professional author."
Who better to capture
the real Jessica Huang
Thanks.
Every day at lunch,
we get tacos at Taco Fiesta.
I didn't want to tell you
because I know you've been busy,
so I'm gonna put it in
for 30 seconds at a time
I don't need a photo anymore.
is because that book is the problem.
That's that outlaw life, yo!
Trent's locker is near
the bathroom I visit
We wait until Trent finishes his shift.
to defend the school's
musical production of "Brent."
we replace Trent's keys... In and out.
We couldn't have done it without you.
to break into the principal's office.
All I ask is that you don't
treat me with kid gloves.
They said they loved my author photo!
I feel like...
Well, you can't control that.
You're saying even if I fail,
You're welcome.
Say you run a dishwasher,
I get the sense that you
don't want me to ask you
I know you'll figure out
a way to make it a right.
Aired 7 years ago - Nov 21, 2017
Louis gets himself into a sticky situation when he lies to Jessica and tells her that he loves her newly finished horror novel. With news that Kenny Rogers is paying a visit to Cattleman's Ranch, Jessica insists that Louis give him a copy of her
book for his agent, making him extremely uncomfortable. Eddie and his friends purchase a 300-disc CD carousel to play all of their music, but Eddie thinks he's the only one in charge and becomes a tyrant.
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Gentlemen,
our prayers have been answered.
Eddie, you sure you're good for it?
I knew if we just kept it on the menu,
The man runs a culinary empire.
Oh, Emery.
Well, it is kind of hard to wrap a pen
Hmm.
I couldn't have done it
without your support.
for Kenny Rogers'
first visit to Cattleman's.
The cleaning lady is a robot?
Oh. Right. Right.
- Crazy.
- Awesome.
Next time, we all bring our Case Logics.
Louis, I forgive you.
Kenny Rogers wrote and
published a book...
What a rush! Who's it gonna be?!
My audio book about the
American Revolution!
Guys.
I've always been in charge of the music.
We can take turns
having it at our houses.
I can't endorse something
I don't believe in.
over the years.
It would crush her.
I go out into the world,
and I make my own.
- I hated it.
- Boo.
I know, but suburban housewives
are your target demo.
out of the ashes of this cul-de-sac!
Oh, sure. I'll call you Kenny.
Ah. I thought that was
a piece of glitter.
as we await word from the front.
and not have a voice in
what transpires there
No, he was a bad king.
One of the original tenets
of our republic was,
♪ Come back to Chuck E. Cheese ♪
All right, Kenny.
can be reborn as footwear.
I don't understand.
The truth is...
It doesn't matter that your
idea didn't make sense to me.
Aired 7 years ago - Nov 14, 2017
The Huangs’ idea to skip Thanksgiving this year doesn’t last long when Louis plays matchmaker and invites Grandma’s ESL teacher, Bernard, to dinner after he notices their flirtation in class. To Jessica’s amazement, Grandma Huang offers to cook the
entire meal to show her appreciation. Meanwhile, to prove his maturity, Evan lets Eddie and Emery sneak him into his first R-rated movie.
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Everybody trying so hard
while pretending not to.
Well, my family's in D.C.
Now we don't have to
suffer work or family,
It's my first Thanksgiving since
so you can take me to
the supply store now.
Let's hear it for Donnie...
Looks live I saved the best for last.
Evan's too young to
see an R-rated movie.
I don't know.
Yes!
I can't believe it's almost over.
to get to know each
other outside of class.
_
Bye-bye, ice skating.
So we can accidentally hit a fisherman
Oh, you mean, Happy Drinks-giving.
Well, Louis invited his
mother's ESL teacher over,
I'll drink a shot to that.
No jokes.
Teacher on vacay!
Orr-eh-gan.
♪ I'm afraid these
don't grow on trees ♪
want to watch the parade with us?
Shh! I'm trying to watch.
And it looks like the cops
are going in with knives
Yum, yum. Mmm!
Yum, yum, yum.
to jump the Black Friday line.
Then I get my chair,
and your mother stays happy.
Too much.
Mom, you could do so much better.
to lend you her steel so we
can cut asses in line mañana,
Want us to make you a plate?
_
_
None of this would have happened
if my mom had learned her verbs.
and everything would be fine!
Aired 7 years ago - Nov 07, 2017
After coming out of the closet to Honey and Jessica, Nicole struggles with telling Marvin, fearful that her father will be disappointed in her. Meanwhile, Louis wants to manage the Cattleman’s Ranch softball team on his own, so Jessica decides to
coach the rival team from The Denim Turtle to prove that she is the superior manager. Chaos is sure to ensue when everyone gathers for the big game at the Greater Orlando Bar and Restaurant tournament.
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I just have to find the right time.
Honestly,
I'm just happy telling you went well.
are wearing our brand-new
Those broads have never lost a game.
I feel like Joe Torre
but with better hair.
and all restaurant decisions
are supposed to be 50/50.
How about this...
if you win one game, just one,
She kept asking me,
"You feel nothing for Denzel?"
Like butt cheeks.
is a close friend and client of Marvin,
to manage your softball
team to its first victory.
I don't care what you say.
I will be the best
manager of a softball team
make sure you get a picture
of our first handshake.
I can't believe you would go
this far to prove a point.
Oh, those Denim Turtle gals are great.
Hustle! Let's go! Let's go!
I'll just never tell my dad
Yeah, and you know parents
and their expectations.
when Denzel relieves Gene
Hackman of his command.
Don't worry about it.
Okay, Cattleman's!
You're in the wrong place
if you want to stay clean.
"A League of Their Own."
Let me get us some more popcorn.
I, uh...
I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm... I'm so sorry.
about what's Saturn-worthy.
Okay, yeah, whatever feels right.
But for one afternoon,
But today,
we need to be number one on that field.
Chestnut, please.
- Hmm?
- Eddie, give Mr. Chestnut your jersey.
And she said that you weren't
supportive of her preference.
and you made her play first base.
I'm sorry.
What's a pride flag?
And whether or not you like this team,
I heard Johnny Cash
wanted to grow a beard,
Ah-ah-ah! No tears on the jersey!
If it were, Bev would do it.
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 31, 2017
When Jessica’s aunt passes away, the Huang family packs their bags for Houston where the boys see Jessica’s father for the first time. While observing the distant relationship, Louis makes it his mission to push Jessica and her father closer
together. Meanwhile, Evan decides to make Eddie the executor of his will, prompting Emery and Eddie to fight over who is the better older brother.
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Divorced?! Don't be ridiculous!
I didn't see my dad much, either...
We had a different
relationship with our parents.
It's, like, "We get it, Karen.
Also,
since when do you have a will and trust?
I don't care about anything after I die.
I'm dead.
It's what I was used to growing up.
Mm.
wondering if she missed her
chance to connect with him.
Triplets? I love triplets. Big fan.
So, Jessica and I are going to
another funeral, in Houston,
if you would be the executor of my will.
but she did my patent,
What's going on?
Why are you being so weird?
but then I worried that I
missed out on something amazing.
Talk to me. Talk to me. What are
you thinking? What are you feeling?
talking about barbecue chicken.
_
who told that blabbermouth Amanda,
_
Right now,
you can't even keep track of a tie.
And now we have to go back
to Houston for a wedding.
They'll probably just talk
about food or the weather.
I...
You're getting tot grease in my bangs.
I deserve these empty calories.
It's a long story.
Death brings people together.
now's your chance to
really connect with him...
_
_
_
Come on! You think he's dying!
that you met your dream girl in college
I'm just thinking about
that robot housekeeper
I'm sorry I was a jerk earlier.
Trust me... I know.
of the Huang Boys' Detective Agency?
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 24, 2017
On Halloween, Louis is disappointed that Evan doesn’t take his childish delight in the holiday; Eddie and the gang plot to crash a cool older girl’s party; Jessica and Emery are spooked when they hear a strange man’s voice emanating from Grandma’s
room, and things get even creepier when a mysterious group of costumed strangers whisk Grandma away, making them suspect the supernatural worst
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Eddie and Emery are
outgrowing Halloween,
he wouldn't have bought a
pumpkin in the first place.
and she's throwing the
social event of the year.
All we have to do is hang out
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep.
and we're not doing our
regular couples costume,
But fun-size candy should be
handed out by fun-size hands.
you don't want to be in.
By the way, I heard Carol-Joan
is upside-down on her mortgage.
Jennifer Hong said as
she lit her cigarillo,
What's the deal with
impressing your wife?
_
I can wear a plunging neckline.
On the inside, you can be like, "Ooh,"
I'm gonna enjoy my Halloween.
Oh, their costumes... I have no idea.
I'm sorry.
He went to Deidre's.
I thought we were supposed
to hand out candy together.
We're working at being
better at communication...
Girls' soccer will be there,
girls' volleyball,
Don't forget about me.
I'm also still hard.
My bad luck year has invited
evil into this house.
Bring us Jenny.
and a possessed grandma
character would be perfect.
So, my ancestors are Celtic,
Want to know who your
friends really are?
Damn, that's hard.
It's hot as balls out here.
Mm. Ooh. This isn't a Manhattan.
But my shift isn't over yet!
Happy Halloween!
Mouse Boy!
Why did you even go to Deidre's?
You always behave like
a child on Halloween.
I'm putting my bar back on
and heading over to Deidre's.
Everything in Orlando
used to be a strip club.
Graveyard.
Sounds good. I'm right behind you.
"English as a Second Language."
_
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 17, 2017
With the realization that Eddie is finally mature enough to be left on his own, Louis and Jessica see the light at the end of their parenting tunnel and make plans to spend more time with friends Honey and Marvin. Until their neighbors announce a
plan of their own: Marvin is getting his vasectomy reversed so the couple can conceive a baby. The Huangs do their best to dissuade them.
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so keep your nasty juju away from me.
Why wouldn't she be here? We're friends.
Tamagotchis...
Friends forever.
He's sensitive...
Well, you say a lot of things!
- Hey!
- Oh, hi!
Hilarious joke, Marvin.
We want to have kids!
My only burden will
be keeping my fingers
they take that capillary,
fuse it to my tubes,
Why make your life harder...
with a baby?
and I have a gynecologist
appointment tomorrow,
I did pre-pay.
Besides, at Marvin's age,
I understand Honey wanting to rush in,
We sit before the truest
test of the puzzle master...
But we actually have something
serious to talk to you about,
Shut the front
door and give me a hug!
- What?
- You were late, and I panicked!
Eddie and I were talking,
and we think it's best if...
I can't be around
anyone pouring liquids.
_
How are you late? We came here together.
- You don't say!
- Great job!
Yes. It's a truck. It's very trendy.
Is it time to pump again?
Right. Right.
They're progressive.
Already shaved my neck.
I also got us the four-mic package.
which was a huge success.
let's all just have fun.
but we need to talk
about something serious.
I was trying to forget
about her after our breakup
Here's what I think of your lies.
♪ She's gone tomor... ♪
Wh... Sh...
I don't know, but I wish you would sing
Oh, we just wanted to remind Marvin
♪ Gotta make a move to a
town that's right for me ♪
_
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 10, 2017
It’s the first day of high school and Eddie wants to join the football team to impress girlfriend Alison, despite Jessica forbidding him to try out. Emery finds out that Evan has been moved up a grade and is in middle school with him. Louis battles with Kenny Roger’s right-hand man over changes at the steakhouse
I'm going electric.
I'm not.
- When were you gonna tell me?
- I wasn't.
Uh, get the belly again.
[Chuckles] Uh, can I help you?
Hey, got a quick question...
You probably know this...
Uh, so, about our sign,
right now it says
over the next few months.
Lincoln Middle School's
first ever grade skipper.
Maybe she didn't see
me because she's blind.
You want me to put him in the trash?
but they found her in a bog.
so try to get a big table...
and an end seat
I know. Terrible.
Mom, Mom, Mom,
you're looking at it all wrong.
[Chuckles] Oh, feel my chest.
Mm-hmm. Um, first,
we should add a customer comment line.
I do think we should lose
some of the steak dishes
[Whistle blows]
[Whistle blows]
Took me forever to get my mom
to sign the tryout waiver.
the cafeteria ran out of green beans,
_
no one believed you about Tiger Woods,
I'm gonna turn the temp up
on the rotisserie one degree,
You did that. So do it again.
He is thinking big picture.
Sure did.
Regular citizens, stand aside.
My wife buys me chinos,
I tell her, "Amy, stop."
I'm sorry,
but one tried to rip Kenny's throat out,
[Chuckles]
She said she's picking him
up after practice later.
I think he's over there.
It is like the hiss of a
tea kettle filled with rage.
and get back the money you paid him.
My comment is, I love the
stuffed bear in the dining room.
[Telephone beeps] Louis,
this is important.
Your dehumidifier is full. Drink that.
always on the brink of disaster,
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 03, 2017
Still homeless, the Huangs move in with Honey and Marvin. Jessica’s dreams come true when she gets a chance to compete on “Wheel of Fortune” during Best Friends Week with Honey. Eddie starts high school and is still on the outs with his pals but
finds unexpected sympathy from Nicole. Michael Bolton offers to step in at the restaurant to give Louis more time with his family, but does he have an ulterior motive?
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You know, your old man knows
his way around a lathe.
No problem. Have fun.
Um, I'm driving some of
my friends to the mall
[Metal dragging]
Twist!
Yeah, we're successful, all right.
No, you should take some time off,
[Applause]
I know you just moved in.
for me to move forward
at the current price.
Teen girl: [Ethereal] Eeevan...
Relax. Acting disinterested
was just a tactic.
"'Wheel of Fortune' is coming
to Orlando, Jessica Huang.
If you're gonna make that
counter-offer tomorrow...
Are you excited to start high school?
The hardest thing about
figuring out who you really are
- Kinda like the...
- [Internally] Oh, my God.
But I have a girlfriend.
Hey, Dad,
what are you doing home so early?
Building a birdhouse with my son.
Honey, get your head in the game!
Jessica, we have done nothing
but practice for an entire week.
I love having you here,
but have you heard from Murray at all?
Never buy a vowel,
because they're a waste of money.
Yesterday,
she tried to buy a number, Louis.
Oh, I didn't tell you?
That's not happening anymore.
[Screams]
but it landed on the one after Bankrupt!
I don't know which one
of those is scarier.
[Gritting teeth]
If I see an unmarked Yoplait,
What do you do if two girls like you?
You should send yourself flowers.
It is. I'm ready, Dad.
[Birdhouse creaking]
[Door bell rings eerily] Oh, uh, neat.
And it feels really
strange saying it out loud.
Which is good because I
have so many questions.
No, there's no T. I'm sorry.