Mom

Oh. Well,

Just don't burst into tears on me.

Neither do I... They kill a lot of brain cells.

we have the Sparkly Pony.

Yeah, you are.

- 'cause those are great. - Seriously,

It is nice.

Your heart is out of its mind.

Doesn't mean I should date it.

You didn't mention "hot."

I wasn't his.

Or you can choose the cheerleader,

Which is why you're choosing not to date her friend.

And people love them. They're a hit.

when I first came here, and now I'm so productive.

I can feel in my bones my career is on the way.

but now that I make more money than he does, I'm the enemy?

What?

Well, I can spot you.

but we're not drinking, so we won't wake up tomorrow

You know, like the toe thing for kids.

Oh, save the judgy face.

What's your problem?

But you said he's off-limits.

or changed my mind.

But now that a complete stranger said it,

at the time, but I'm starting to realize it enrages me.

put a comb through your hair every once in a while.

Now I'm "not-drinking" alone.

You look like that neighbor who knows what's going on.

Hi.

Well, this is a very thoughtful gesture.

But I still can't be interested.

Interesting, and this is a situation

How do you characterize your relationships with men?

Oh, it's not much to tell.

So what do you think, dinner?

Hey, sorry I'm late.

He did?

You know, I've never been inside of one of those.

You know, it wouldn't kill you to give it a try.

But I'm always impressed by the things you think of to bring.

My boyfriend and I just broke up.

but I'm only in pain if I raise my hand.

What do you think so far?

That's the best part. Anywhere, U.S.A.

Cute rhymes don't make it smell

of the mobile home.

when you're filled with inexplicable enthusiasm.

That's good, 'cause I was gonna say something.

He's retiring.

my entire life and now-now he's abandoning me?

You make me feel safe.

A letter? Why don't you just send a text

is probably older than us right now.

How are you killing me at this game?

- You didn't. - I did. And...

Ten bucks he thinks we're cooking meth in here.

We made the RV sexy, but the cop made it dangerous.

and say, "Hey, honey, I'm about to spend..."

I changed my mind.

Who do you want to live with?

A woman who requires a blanket, an eye mask

and we have to pay to park it.

when he bought the bar?

I'm just saying that justified anger

4:00, right on time. Hey, buddy.

Not like a gift. Like an investment.

and if the conversation leads us to a room in my house

I'm sorry it's hard, but I am retiring.

So this is it?

which actually makes me low-maintenance.

yes.

Damn it, Corey.

And if I say no?

What'd you buy now?

What are you doing up so late?

Wait.

Oh, the end of the early game, and then the whole late game.

No feelings allowed.

The man's got a lot on his plate right now.

Wait one damn second.

He reunited with his twin brother

now he spends 12 hours a day in a car with Joanna.

Hold on, Marjorie, I want to hear what Wendy has to say.

I'll get it out of her.

Yeah. This is getting out of hand.

average Joanna and her two damn dogs.

It all looks great.

The Joanna bombshell sent her into a tailspin,

Tell me the Tater Tot

Andy says that about Jill.

- You know how. - I-I really don't. I...

Because Andy and Joanna have their windows rolled down

I put that woman through hell.

I'm doing great. We're right behind 'em.

Well, pretty-pretty sure I got to go over.

Nothing from your boyfriend up there.

'cause their life is working out.

Another myth exploded.

No, wait. That's just a shadow.

Right?

Yeah, and they never make eye contact. - Never.

while they're having coffee and-and-and laughing.

he's looking at it...

But, Jill, you're on a pause with Andy. I'm not.

- I brought licorice. Catch me up. - Red or black?

have to make an amends for down the road.

What's up with those, Pavarotti?

Yeah. Comes from a lifetime

Andy just opened the back door for her!

I-I'm trying to think if Adam

And keep our shirts on?

Oop. They're dragging him out.

Oh, cut her some slack... She's got puke on her sleeve.

his name's Lorne, he was in Desert Storm...

It's my first time with this recipe, so be gentle.

I'm gonna get up.

Oh, I'm gonna reverse-sear a couple of tri-tips,

Yeah, my cholesterol's getting a little high lately.

From a truck in a parking lot in front of the roller derby.

Then screw off, fancy-pants.

Oh, my God.

No. Wait. No.

"She owns a bookstore, he's in real estate.

I really love you.

Jill's my friend and she needs my help.

Just be a few more minutes. Thank you for your patience.

I need five "coke vans" and I need 'em now.

That's how they drink it in France. Oh, my God.

Over here.

I'm not taking you seriously.

I mean, despite the efforts of some pretty good doctors,

I call Patience.

you'd think I'd understand men by now.

and he told me how to build a damn thermostat.

Yeah, it does.

"We can't watch Shark Tank anymore because you think

"There's a different brand of women's razor

No, you're not allowed to say that

To end up in a parking lot serving ruffians in tank tops

Mm, I'm already in a tiny metal coffin.

Giving up is what the French do.

Especially when I'm not wearing pants.

That's why we grill tri-tip.

Sometimes just let it rest.

Yes! And it all starts with that one plate of chicken.

Hell, I'd settle for a damn ice cream cone.

This is the best tri-tip I've ever had in my life.

Those bastards are already eating.

Now, Jill, why don't you tell Andy what you've been feeling?

I love it when you open up to me.

Nice job.

and I'm all for that.