Girls

In the Season 2 finale, Hannah attempts to write her book in one day so her publisher doesn't sue her. Meanwhile, Ray tries to impress Shoshanna with a bold career move; and Marnie gets the wrong idea about Charlie.

that you're not really committed to this.

The guy that we made fun of in our work for years.

I have a lot at stake with you. I care about you.

I'm not doing this with you, dudette.

I want...

That's good. I like that.

Okay, and back up a little bit.

which is that I'm--

but you keep making me feel jerked around.

I could diagnose it myself from reading Louisa May Alcott.

- I'm jacked. - Yeah.

What do you-- what do you mean?

I can take a fucking hint.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's wrong? What's wrong?

Maybe I'm an idiot for it,

Ray, please, at least something--

but I'm opening another Grumpy's in Brooklyn Heights.

But anyway, it's something I think you'd be good at.

Something, like, overarching.

Hannah? Hannah, are you in there?

- Well, it was clearly meant to be. - Mm-hmm.

so I don't know if I look, like, scary thin or anything.

- You know? - I-- I do know.

- Hannah, do you need-- - Laird, please be reasonable, okay?

I think it's a pretty dark scene inside your head.

I just thought you'd be so excited.

Not exactly.

Okay, you go to therapy and, like, I'll have my personal renaissance.

Maybe you have to change. Maybe then you'll appreciate my black soul.

It's not like any of them want to talk to me.

so you got an iPhone? I really never imagined you'd do that.

I'm really, really scared.

Hannah's deadline worries and pressure from her publisher weigh heavily on her mind; Adam and his new girlfriend have a misunderstanding; Shoshanna avoids Ray at Charlie's work party; Marnie makes a move toward her future.

These pages, hon.

But, you know, we were talking about Anais Nin.

But that's the kind of stuff we need, you know what I--

because you're my boyfriend and I care about you.

Yeah, you don't apologize. You're famous for it.

Please? Come on.

I know, but that other stuff's gonna make me fat.

I mean, I might just like him for his beach house.

- Okay. - But I'll see you later?

I just spaced out about lunch.

Okay.

- Okay? Slow down. Slow down, honey. - I think I'm deaf forever.

Uh, any one of my, like,

- Mm-hmm, thank you. - Hold still.

If you're still having a problem hearing

Really bad.

♪ Run this shit, no, run this shit ♪

It's, you know-- it's just beer and pizza.

He's Ray.

I know some of these people from high school,

Oh, it is so good to meet you, Adam.

- Oh, great. - Okay.

just part of who I am.

because I have something really special planned for tonight and...

Yeah.

Yeah, I like it, too. She's great.

You should get some rest. You look pretty tired.

Sure.

♪ I stand no chance of growing up ♪

- Hey, what's up? - Hey. I was wondering if you could just switch...

of you and all of you.

♪ Work it, make it, do it ♪

♪ You can be my white Kate Moss tonight ♪

♪ 'Specially my Pastels and my Bape shit... ♪

Congratulations.

I've never even seen you like this before.

And please don't pity me.

And tonight, it's some sort of fucking nadir of the whole cycle.

but I held the doorman's hand.

Well, what's it for?

organizing.

What?

Okay.

I wanna fuck you from behind.

Uh-huh.

Hannah tries to hide mounting anxiety about her book from her visiting parents; Marnie is stunned to learn that Charlie has started a successful app company; while at AA, Adam meets a boisterous woman who coaxes him into dating her daughter, Natalia; and Ray’s aversion to college parties gives Shoshanna pause.

Wait, what? Charlie has an app?

I do not trust anyone anymore.

Now I know where you've been all summer.

I don't even know where to begin explaining that to you.

Okay, well, I don't think it's creepy and I'm going.

I have this girlfriend who at first I didn't like very much.

And she acted like I was teaching her everything

I don't really like cookies that much,

How tall are you, 6'2"?

But God damn if you're not cuter than a dimple on a bug's ass.

Mindy, how is the Rothberry account?

Whoa.

so I just thought, why don't I just stop by?

Oh, right. Okay, cool.

But if you want to call them,

Yeah. I mean, I hope you got paid a lot of money for it.

Lip-dub. Come on.

Oh, well, if you get in the zone,

- No, she's counting. - Maybe after the show.

If I did have OCD, I would tell you

worrying about whether you'd have a normal life?

♪ I'm all you've ever known. ♪

No, I'm here because my mom said

That's great. I just-- I think that dating is awful.

Miss? Who are you here to see?

♪ My parents, they can't stand him ♪

♪ When he comes to call my pa ♪

solving her life, which is, like, all the time.

I think just not-- I think I'm not a party person.

I never heard it before.

What happens if you leave the door?

I thought he was gonna be broken for at least six years.

You wanna be a mother? Get fucking pregnant.

♪ I don't know why I didn't come ♪

then you should sing now. Right now.

- He was an arsonist, Dad. - Yeah.

You're not anorexic. That's ridiculous.

on a loop of eight.

but then you realize that that doesn't feel quite right either,

Um, I went through a breakup about a month ago.

Hannah goes along with Jessa to visit her estranged father, his alternative girlfriend and her teen son in Upstate New York.

He was trying to tell me something,

- Hi, Dad. - Hello, my darling.

behind a Camry, of course.

get in the front with Sarah.

I've got a bit of a burn, but it's gonna turn into a tan, innit?

You-- you're like the most perfect

Yes. You're the cushion.

But she won't fucking let me.

If you're not with me, you're against me.

You know, "Let's dead this."

I guess I can just never tell if guys

"Penthouse" from 1979.

is to help a boy find his sexuality.

but if you say I did it, then I suppose I did it.

Okay, so, just-- you know, it's not--

Yes, Jessa. Let's take your marriage, for instance.

I'm a writer, too. I actually just-- just inked a book deal.

that's really, really important and you're welcome to come.

Hmm?

That's an area that's hard for me.

- You're an amazing driver. You know that? - Oh, yeah?

That is not funny. That is immature.

Mm, yeah.

was just that you were floating in the sky,

You really had no idea

♪ And I was your silver lining ♪

and I think I brought Midol.

Running will be the fucking death of me.

is a casual fucking thing.

Everything.

You don't know how to deal with it.

Hannah and I should be going if we're gonna catch the--

digest.

You did, though.

day-old lettuce for Petula's rabbits.

- Ever? - This is what he does.

We have to go.

Marnie is asked to act as hostess for an art party thrown by Booth Jonathan and Hannah signs a publishing contract for e-books. Meanwhile, Adam manages to convince Ray to join him on an adventure.

Oh, it's Hannah.

So your painting's back at the warehouse,

I-- I'm sorry, I kind of find that weird

My boyfriend is doing lights for Carly Rae Jepsen

Hey, so tonight I'm having a bunch of people over

considering they teach you how to be a millionaire.

No.

And everything is write, write, write.

but I don't know 'cause I haven't read it, okay?

Yep.

So, uh, what's the little rascal's name?

Fucking croissant?

I'd shoot that fucker right in the face.

That's between you and fucking Cujo, okay?

Oh, okay.

why would there not-- there should be mood lighting.

It's not an amusement park, okay?

the beaches of Normandy.

I don't think it's weird. Young girls are great.

Again, it's the in-betweens that are always worried about how they look.

Jessa?

It's like, with a first book,

You can stay as long as you want.

All these people, they want to live in Manhattan,

till you drive yourself nuts.

I'm 33. That's hurtful.

and all that, but, you know,

You're the one who compared her to a carnival game.

Coy?

Adam!

Um, did you just put my coat under that blazer?

- I mean-- - I've seen you cry, like, six or seven times.

Wait, didn't I meet you at one of Ryan's shoots?

You should talk to Sketch. He's writing a book, too.

- Keep him. - Wait, what--?

Yeah? Who the fuck are you?

What?

I feel really stupid now.

Honestly, I think I probably just--

Everyone loves you.

Even Hannah is surprised when she's attracted to a fortysomething doctor and his life of unspectacular stability.

The problem seems to be I don't know how to satisfy you.

but I do know that twice a month you have a band play here

That's what I want!

Yup.

but he's lucky I didn't beat his ass.

could really be putting myself in, like, a Ted Bundy situation.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, with me? Um, let's see.

Put trash places it shouldn't legally go.

but it was also far enough

You said that's how it started with the trash?

And I would understand if you wanted

How old are you?

- So, that was weird. - Yeah.

Um, I'm in the...

Hannah?

and so she's back in San Diego.

You know, real stuff that causes problems

Yes, yes. It's awful.

I like all your fixtures.

I don't want you to ever leave my house.

Are we?

I'm fainted.

about them and maybe save them,

I realize I'm not different.

And my mom thought I was lying, obviously, and probably I was.

before I met you was that I was, like, lonely.

and too sensitive and too, like, not crazy.

I've got...

You basically begged me

San Diego.

I know.

Hannah concentrates on preparing to host her first dinner party and Marnie confronts her ex-boss, Audrey. Meanwhile, Jessa meets her new in-laws and Shoshanna takes her relationship with Ray to the next phase.

It is the good-- oh, fuck.

to make some people that I love very happy.

- We should go. - You should not go, okay?

Okay, okay.

Oh, so you're hosting, like, a slam poetry night

in the cab and so we had to stop and pull over

are totally gonna happen here.

Hey. Hey.

That's sweet.

It's like having a clit in your butt.

Ugh, stop. Please don't.

Well, you're clearly thinking a little bit about his butthole.

- You did that? - You told her?

Grow up.

So she had to come up earlier than expected from Florida

So you're staying, like, just different people's houses,

that... you--

What for?

You know, Jessa is actually a very talented artist.

Oh, that's a great saying.

...just disappear in it.

- Thank you. - Can I just-- for the record, can I just point out

Must be very nice to find yourself in such a...

especially in the face and especially on your body.

Hey, it's me.

You have to try and understand that.

Okay, yeah, fine. Yeah, you're right.

Which someone?

that you will never again get any...

- Where'd Audrey go? - Where do you think, Charles?

or called my aunt for advice about living with a man for the first time!

and she just drives out my sweet, sweet, sweet girlfriend.

- I thought you weren't even talking to her. - I'm not talking to her.

because you shacked up with me for two months?

You don't seem so fucking disgusted when you're spending my money.

- I know what you are. - Oh, you do?

Seriously, what am I gonna do now?

we're being watched by a bunch of fat babies.

How much?

Just fucking take whatever you want, Jessa.

Humanitarian Award."

I'm in between places, okay?

Just say it! Just fucking say it.

It's way too early for you to say something like that.

I love you so fucking much.

♪ Would like to say to you ♪

On a freelance writing assignment to get out of her comfort zone, Hannah befriends the junkie downstairs and parties hard with Elijah, who reveals an explosive secret. Meanwhile, Marnie has a long awaited run-in with artist Booth Jonathan.

Jessa, do you happen to know where I can procure some cocaine today?

All the junkies in my building hang out by the mailboxes.

No, I'm just trying to come up with a new Wi-Fi network name,

He can be a real asshole sometimes, though.

Really? 'Cause I can hear you.

I am completely cool with it

No. I mean, I still know guys.

maybe my friends here will try and be a little more fun.

It's a job. It pays.

I like being talked to like that.

with a bottle of cough syrup and a box of cold McNuggets.

Hey, let's have the type of night where it's like 5:00 a.m.

No, I think that's good. I think that's good.

- Yeah, what's wrong with you? - Now I'm gonna get a pencil.

It's blood.

♪ Yesterday was the day that I was born ♪

♪ Imagining you care ♪

Do they have sex with each other?

♪ And no one knows or really cares ♪

♪ Shake your tambourine, go and get yourself a whistle ♪

Bye, Andrew!

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ I love it, I love it ♪

I usually hate when you wear your nipples out in public like that,

I feel like I just want to be so honest with you right now.

- When? - Um...

I didn't even come in her.

- No. - Or maybe that Marnie's mouth

Laird?

At Metro Drugs they've got great socks?

Yeah? That's great.

I can't have it in my house.

Marnie's with Booth Jonathan.

I mean, if you grew up in the early '80s, then you would understand.

We need to talk to Marnie about some things.

Oh, a shirt.

I really didn't want you to hear about it like this.

and drink frozen hot chocolates

And you looked me in the eyes again and again

Hannah gets unsolicited musical attention from heartbroken Adam and displeasing opinions on her writing from Sandy. Elijah questions his sexuality; Marnie makes a career compromise when her curatorial dreams are crushed; Jessa revels in married life; Shoshanna and Ray make magic; and Elijah and Marnie harbor a secret.

♪ Thanks. ♪

Ugh, I've seen enough.

Yeah, but isn't that what people say right before they get murdered?

That is a true story.

In, out.

You know, I could offer you a position at the front desk.

I don't know.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I heard about that. I'm sorry, man.

You've gone too high.

So I think the confluence of those things

'Cause I really need a job right now.

- Ooh, yeah, a bachelor's degree. - Uh-huh.

Um, totally not horrible.

I hate it.

How was your honeymoon? I missed you so much.

It's my little paradise with my little paradise wife.

Whatever you want, you just get it.

Do you know what? Can we pick this up later?

Oh.

Hannah, I am so good. Are you kidding?

I don't exist, which is a rarity.

and that he supports you creatively, really.

He's not reading your essays, he's not reading you.

I guess I just feel like

It's, like, for everyone. It's not a--

I just didn't feel like anything happened in it.

And I don't want you to take that the wrong way,

So you mean even though you spend all this time with me and my gay roommate,

that two out of three people on death row are black men.

I knew this. This always happens.

Because how many white women have you dated?

I didn't even think about it till you said it just now

- So then why can't we just tell her? - Marnie, this will hurt her.

You look like a slutty Von Trapp child.

It's pretty much the perfect job, actually.

Hannah, I think you're beautiful and you know that.

start off cutting this way.

- Cinco de Mayo! - Ah!

and you shouldn't be here right now.

Thank you.

I would really like you to go away.

I'm sorry.

Hannah throws a housewarming party with brand-new roommate Elijah, but it’s hard to move on when she’s still playing nurse to Adam. Marnie gets bad news at work and a visit from her mom; Shoshanna avoids Ray at the party; and sun-kissed Jessa returns from her honeymoon.

I'm not just gonna show up and knock on your door in the middle of the night.

Oh, so this is about him.

Do you love this movie or what?

Because I haven't. And I bet you haven't.

What do you want to talk about?

Jesus, your father would tell you that

to control the way the rest of us eat.

I'm a little hurt that we can't just be friends.

Obviously fondue night. I think we should also do a craft night.

and I thought, "I can do that."

I'm just really glad Sandy's not coming

Also, I just wanted to let you guys know,

- How's it going? - It's good.

Oh, I told you not to wait.

Do you think I should wear this?

And it's like if I'm not at Grumpy's, then I'm writing.

- Why don't you get some coffee? - You look like Troy Donahue.

This is a first-rate party full of losers.

- Hannah. - I don't.

Hannah, you are a very sweet girl.

- I just can't. I'm out. - Okay.

- I mean, that looked-- - I'm fine.

And I do, too. You know?

We can all laugh about it over a bowl of Crisps.

You hurt me, okay? You hurt my feelings.

What I wanted to say is when I'm around you, I remember.

I can't, okay? I'm working the door.

You do. We laid right there on that bed a month ago

And I just-- I changed my mind.

Well, it's not your choice. It's my choice.

No, I mean it. You could sing professionally.

It's just that, you know, one day he pays for dinner

Hannah would be so angry if you were bi.

Or if I'm watching TV and I see Lisa Rinna

Don't touch me.

- You're good at that. - Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Give me a second. Give me a second. Give me a second.

We're Mexican. We're Mexican.