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The Simpsons

S11 E12
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Season 11  "The Mansion Family"  11x12

Aired 24 years ago - Jan 23, 2000

Worried about his health, Mr. Burns visits the Mayo Clinic. He lets Homer housesit his mansion, which leads of course to an offshore knife fight and an attack by Chinese pirates.

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Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 1
And that's why our final award honors a man...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 2
[ Scattered Murmuring ] Hey! Not bad!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 3
Off a tall building- That's a great way to do it!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 4
- [ Groaning ] - [Audience Exclaiming]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 5
Ninety.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 6
[ Straining ] Boy, he didn't want to let go of that!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 7
to the-"
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 8
Nothing you can say will diminish this honor. [ Groaning ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 9
I 'm taking you to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 10
Now, if the house catches fire...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 11
Aa-aahh-ohh! Oof!.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 12
- Heh-heh! [ Gasps ] - Hmm. Seems a little wasteful.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 13
Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 14
Wow. He's got every Nancy Drew...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 15
I 'm drunk! [ Slurred Groan ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 16
Naught-naught-naught, naught-naught, naught-naught-naught-two.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 17
This all seems a little elaborate for sloppy joes. Hmm.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 18
Man, this is livin'.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 19
Homer, did you jimmy open Mr. Burns' liquor cabinet?.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 20
Not you, not its rightful owner, not anybody.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 21
- Homer, who are you calling?. - Everybody! I found Burnsie's address book.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 22
That's some language you got there. And you talk like that 24-7, huh?.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 23
Party?. No! No parties!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 24
every disease on this chart.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 25
- Come on. Keep blowing. - [ Panicked Yelping ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 26
Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 27
Now, you know I can't sell you no beer till 2:00 p.m. on account of it's Sunday.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 28
- What's that, a theme park?. - No, the ocean.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 29
Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 30
Oh, Homie. I don't care if you're a billionaire. I love you just because you're-
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 31
[ Passengers Cheering ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 32
Homer, have we hit international waters yet?. Because, uh, things are gettin' real ugly.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 33
Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 34
Wow! You can do anything out here.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 35
[ Mooing ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 36
Well, Doc, I think I did pretty well on my tests.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 37
You also have several diseases that have just been discovered- in you.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 38
Here is the door to your body. You see?. And these are oversized novelty germs.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 39
Oh, no, no. In fact, even a slight breeze could-
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 40
Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 41
They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 42
[ Man, Amplified Voice ] We can't hear you! Come 300 feet closer!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 43
Come on, Bart! The Coast Guard's covering the "Doo"!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 44
Looks like another homosexual party boat.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 45
- # Oh, China Grove ## - Huh?. [ Laughing ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 46
So far, the nook is relatively- [ Yelling ] Oh, no! No, it isn't!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 47
Navy SEALs are on the way.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 48
- Enough! Get in the net. - I don't want to!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 49
Aa-aah! Aah! My mouth! I, eh-
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 50
Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 2
[ Scattered Murmuring ] Hey! Not bad!
#2 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 3
Off a tall building- That's a great way to do it!
#3 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 4
- [ Groaning ] - [Audience Exclaiming]
#4 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 5
Ninety.
#5 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 6
[ Straining ] Boy, he didn't want to let go of that!
#6 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 7
to the-"
#7 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 8
Nothing you can say will diminish this honor. [ Groaning ]
#8 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 9
I 'm taking you to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.
#9 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 10
Now, if the house catches fire...
#10 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 11
Aa-aahh-ohh! Oof!.
#11 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 12
- Heh-heh! [ Gasps ] - Hmm. Seems a little wasteful.
#12 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 13 #13 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 14
Wow. He's got every Nancy Drew...
#14 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 15
I 'm drunk! [ Slurred Groan ]
#15 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 16
Naught-naught-naught, naught-naught, naught-naught-naught-two.
#16 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 17
This all seems a little elaborate for sloppy joes. Hmm.
#17 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 18
Man, this is livin'.
#18 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 19
Homer, did you jimmy open Mr. Burns' liquor cabinet?.
#19 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 20
Not you, not its rightful owner, not anybody.
#20 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 21
- Homer, who are you calling?. - Everybody! I found Burnsie's address book.
#21 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 22
That's some language you got there. And you talk like that 24-7, huh?.
#22 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 23
Party?. No! No parties!
#23 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 24
every disease on this chart.
#24 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 25
- Come on. Keep blowing. - [ Panicked Yelping ]
#25 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 26 #26 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 27
Now, you know I can't sell you no beer till 2:00 p.m. on account of it's Sunday.
#27 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 28
- What's that, a theme park?. - No, the ocean.
#28 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 29 #29 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 30
Oh, Homie. I don't care if you're a billionaire. I love you just because you're-
#30 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 31
[ Passengers Cheering ]
#31 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 32
Homer, have we hit international waters yet?. Because, uh, things are gettin' real ugly.
#32 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 33 #33 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 34
Wow! You can do anything out here.
#34 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 35
[ Mooing ]
#35 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 36
Well, Doc, I think I did pretty well on my tests.
#36 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 37
You also have several diseases that have just been discovered- in you.
#37 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 38
Here is the door to your body. You see?. And these are oversized novelty germs.
#38 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 39
Oh, no, no. In fact, even a slight breeze could-
#39 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 40 #40 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 41
They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.
#41 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 42
[ Man, Amplified Voice ] We can't hear you! Come 300 feet closer!
#42 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 43
Come on, Bart! The Coast Guard's covering the "Doo"!
#43 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 44
Looks like another homosexual party boat.
#44 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 45
- # Oh, China Grove ## - Huh?. [ Laughing ]
#45 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 46
So far, the nook is relatively- [ Yelling ] Oh, no! No, it isn't!
#46 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 47
Navy SEALs are on the way.
#47 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 48
- Enough! Get in the net. - I don't want to!
#48 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 49
Aa-aah! Aah! My mouth! I, eh-
#49 Recap of The Simpsons Season 11 Episode 12 (S11E12) - 50
Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.
#50