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Archer (2009)

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Season 1  "Training Day"  1x2

Aired 14 years ago - Jan 14, 2010

Lana's residual lust for Archer prompts Malory to promote Cyril to field agent. Archer then trains his new competition as only he can, whilst Malory frets over her own past and her son's future.

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Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 1
We should make you into someone for whom Lana's loins get equally frothy.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
He's already been briefed.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
I'll take care of whatever that is.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
And it's not broadening Cyril's horizons.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
Seriously, Krieger, you are my Oprah.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6
- You gave Lana herpes? Ahem.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
- Lesson one, get used to that. - Should I be writing this down?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
And the cartridge is full of a deadly super-toxin called...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9
It's all the HSA switchover crap.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
- "Mr. Archer" was the "whom." - Worlds collide, huh?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11
Hey. Inappropriate workplace topic.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12
which one of you idiots sent up zucchini?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13
That is Pam, isn't it?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14
almost all of it, but...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
That we're on our way down to clear up with Jane.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16
You getting a snack?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
- Yeah, it was pretty cool. - Will I get to learn karate?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 19
Like so many other geniuses, unappreciated in his life...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
- .25 caliber. - When would you use an underwear-gun?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
Oh. Yeah, I guess that could happen.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
You just rest, Ms. Archer. We'll take care of these DD-14s for you.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24
It totally should be. Look at this.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
Scatterbrain Jane, but let me just tell you, okay?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
a pen store. And yet...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27
- I really do. - Okay.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
- Okay. - And that wasn't all gun, neither.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
then your trained field agent eyes spot two threats.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
just the pad. Then you see the second threat.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
Tango, tango, tango. Scan the ballroom of the Cuban embassy...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
- Whoa. - Way to go, baby. You hit it.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
What the hell's in your freaking pocket?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35
I know I misheard you about Jane, because turns out, I ran into her.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36
When they're dead they're just hookers.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
Now he's fetching a rug. Happy, Cyril?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
Oh, God. I should never have agreed to this.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
Now let's go bury this dead hooker.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
I know, right? So here let's make the co-pay zero, and the deductible...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 41
You are a bitch.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 42
And that does not for a young boy a very merry Christmas make.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 43
- Oh, my God. - I know, right?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
To who, Cyril? The cops? Lana?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45
and named it this exact situation.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
Exactly. And I'm gonna file a hostile work environment lawsuit...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47
Oh, my God. How about now, Cyril?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49
- That's because no one likes you. - What?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
I am the best at this, Rain Man, okay? I'm like...

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
He's already been briefed.
#2 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
I'll take care of whatever that is.
#3 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
And it's not broadening Cyril's horizons.
#4 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
Seriously, Krieger, you are my Oprah.
#5 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6
- You gave Lana herpes? Ahem.
#6 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
- Lesson one, get used to that. - Should I be writing this down?
#7 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
And the cartridge is full of a deadly super-toxin called...
#8 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9
It's all the HSA switchover crap.
#9 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
- "Mr. Archer" was the "whom." - Worlds collide, huh?
#10 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11
Hey. Inappropriate workplace topic.
#11 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12
which one of you idiots sent up zucchini?
#12 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13
That is Pam, isn't it?
#13 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14
almost all of it, but...
#14 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
That we're on our way down to clear up with Jane.
#15 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16
You getting a snack?
#16 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
- Yeah, it was pretty cool. - Will I get to learn karate?
#17 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18 #18 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 19
Like so many other geniuses, unappreciated in his life...
#19 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
- .25 caliber. - When would you use an underwear-gun?
#20 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21 #21 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
Oh. Yeah, I guess that could happen.
#22 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
You just rest, Ms. Archer. We'll take care of these DD-14s for you.
#23 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24
It totally should be. Look at this.
#24 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
Scatterbrain Jane, but let me just tell you, okay?
#25 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
a pen store. And yet...
#26 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27
- I really do. - Okay.
#27 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
- Okay. - And that wasn't all gun, neither.
#28 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
then your trained field agent eyes spot two threats.
#29 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
just the pad. Then you see the second threat.
#30 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
Tango, tango, tango. Scan the ballroom of the Cuban embassy...
#31 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
- Whoa. - Way to go, baby. You hit it.
#32 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 33 #33 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
What the hell's in your freaking pocket?
#34 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35
I know I misheard you about Jane, because turns out, I ran into her.
#35 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36
When they're dead they're just hookers.
#36 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
Now he's fetching a rug. Happy, Cyril?
#37 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
Oh, God. I should never have agreed to this.
#38 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
Now let's go bury this dead hooker.
#39 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
I know, right? So here let's make the co-pay zero, and the deductible...
#40 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 41
You are a bitch.
#41 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 42
And that does not for a young boy a very merry Christmas make.
#42 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 43
- Oh, my God. - I know, right?
#43 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
To who, Cyril? The cops? Lana?
#44 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45
and named it this exact situation.
#45 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
Exactly. And I'm gonna file a hostile work environment lawsuit...
#46 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47
Oh, my God. How about now, Cyril?
#47 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48 #48 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49
- That's because no one likes you. - What?
#49 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
I am the best at this, Rain Man, okay? I'm like...
#50