Status
Ended
Network
NBC
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 5

Aired 10 years ago - May 02, 2013

Leslie celebrates her first year as a city councilwoman. Retired Special Agent Burt Macklin is recalled to action. April gets some life-changing news. Tom debates a big business opportunity.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 1
Obesity and diabetes are down.
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Are you better off now than you were a year ago?
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Ms. Pinewood, I've never stripped away anyone's freedoms.
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Whoa! Darren! Slow down!
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I could add some old people stuff,
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Also, a lawyer guy called you.
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but ooh! No! Boo!
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Those school lunches are incredibly unhealthy.
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Ever since you stripped us of our freedoms
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And then, you stripped my freedom
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saying how much they hate me as a person.
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was not a horrifying sex den
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that STDs are down 14% from last year.
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Thank you, Dennis. There you go, perfect example.
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- Leslie is the best. - No, no, Brandi.
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If it weren't for Leslie Knope,
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this positive pregnancy test in a dumpster in the woods?
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Someone-- I'm not saying Diddy,
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I'm talking pedicures on pedicures on pedicures.
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- No, with the store. - Oh.
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All right, if you'll excuse me, I found out
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That's true.
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Is there any possibility Mona-Lisa could be pregnant?
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Like, to humanity?
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- No fun for you! - Uh-oh.
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I don't think this is very fair!
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and community leaders who are protesting
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- Recall Knope! - Legalize weed!
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- Is this yours? - No, no.
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Well, I wish you told me.
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Tommy has his life back! Let's go!
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Besides, the math doesn't add up
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Maybe we should both quit,
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Do you think this town is better off
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to recall me from office.
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and all that matters to me is whether or not
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Again, all I really care about is are you better off?
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That's ridiculous. Ben, can you help me out here?
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Volunteer weekend task force, mobilize.
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Sure. Hey, how's it going with you guys?
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Yeah!
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Actually, there is something I need to tell you.
Aired 10 years ago - Apr 25, 2013

Leslie deems Ron's budget-cut proposals unacceptable. Andy and Ben celebrate a big donation made to their charity. Ann tries to solve Tom's girlfriend troubles.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 21 (S05E21) - 1
mostly 'cause Chang buys 'em beer and whatnot.
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Hey, baby, can I borrow your car for a month?
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So I guess it's time to do the mature thing
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You say that about every girl you date.
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- Won't you do it for free? - Nope.
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Conversational lubricant.
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Way to be, duck.
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Hot dogs?
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Well, hello, Burly, Chang.
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First of all, your nachos are terrible.
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That's a pretty good name, actually.
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And what a bargain.
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and brings a community together.
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You are pandering to get a vote.
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stop! I know it's more than one word.
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because I know Tom pretty well.
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Diddy's on Instagram?
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of playing guitar with my friends every few weeks.
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and Halloween sound effects records from the 1950s.
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I need piece of paper, I need a pen, I need four more beers,
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What are you talking about?
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Mm, yeah, 'cause I don't eff with poorsies.
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Help.
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I have calculus homework. I--
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but I do love watching you guys squabble over me.
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Sudden death playoff
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Well, after tonight, you'll only know me as the former artist
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♪ now that swan's name was Andy ♪
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♪ watch me fly
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Uh, Ann, this might be a battle
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♪ whoa
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- Damn it! - Hole- in-one!
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No, he gets the dragon too?
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What are you-- oh.
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- I finally get it. - Mmhmm.
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Look, I still don't think we should date.
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Well, hello, fellow employees.
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Give me more time to play video games.
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- Okay, what's in there? - I don't know.
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I would pay any amount of money to properly shame you.
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You may think so. I do not.
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How did your wild dirtbag fantasy night work out?
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Tom, thank you.
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that I lost your vote last night?
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Wow, Jamm, even for you, this is pretty sleazy.
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One: You drive me nuts with your rigid code of honor.
Aired 10 years ago - Apr 18, 2013

When Leslie finds out Jerry is retiring, she struggles with the proper way to commemorate the occasion. Chris and Ann prepare to have a baby together. Tom worries he will become the office punching bag once Jerry leaves.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 20 (S05E20) - 1
You have every reason to expect a healthy child.
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One other question.
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a Parks and Rec golf cart driving exam
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he had a lot of dreams and goals.
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the office naturally selects
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of the County Health Board.
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Should I think about you?
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Do I keep this?
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Just trying not to spill anything.
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Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is.
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[Clattering]
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So let's see what's first.
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I mean, it sounds so cool.
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Ben, just--okay.
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One, three, seven, two, five, nine.
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which usually happens, mm, every 20 minutes.
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Squid Dracula is going to get you.
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Okay, on to the next Jerry goal--
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and then he died from an overdose of pills.
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you know, years ago before all the scandals and his death.
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Okay, you tried, but I took a day off
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Ronfire of the vanities.
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So they get no work done.
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But happy.
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and we remember what it's like to engage in some of those
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You know, is this all the pamphlets?
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Okay, everyone gather around.
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considering your work record.
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R.I.P."? [Chuckles]
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but I do like good cake. Delicious.
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Well, that went roughly as well as I thought it would.
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Oh, man, the cake.
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That's okay. I just popped by to apologize
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- Is it? - Please join us.
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Yeah, but our work is just beginning.
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Oh. Pfftt!
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Oh, hey.
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Well, is whining going to do anything about it?
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It was all for nothing.
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♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast
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♪ eggs, bacon, and toast
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at work to be special, and I feel like I let you down.
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You are still the most handsome man
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Here. I want to show you something.
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was that I got to be home every night
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Mmhmm. Aw.
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I was nervous after yesterday
Aired 10 years ago - Apr 18, 2013

Leslie works to get rid of outdated laws from the original town charter. April and Ron receive management training from Chris. Ben finds himself in a bidding war against Ann to win a present for Leslie.

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Normally, if given a choice
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because she has more important things to do
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I am legally required
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What, no. Damn it!
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"Zoo day," first time we went to the zoo together.
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You have to buy a present for every one of these?
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You don't watch Game of Thrones?
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of many of our town's outdated and obscure laws.
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The floor is now open for public comments.
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Article Seven, Section Three allows
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I meant Article Three, Section Seven.
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the gloved Mandalorian armor gauntlet of Boba Fett
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This kind of thing made sense when we had council in a barn
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'cause that's gonna happen. After a beat, Luke says,
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You can't just change the charter willy-nilly.
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The Pawnee charter is not a "living document," Ms. Knope.
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I won them, madam, in a raffle.
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How about you and I go live in that historical house,
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When is this over?
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Stop bidding on my waffle iron.
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which she considers the beginning of our friendship.
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- We've lost the auction. - What-no.
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of, say, the warlocks of Qarth for example.
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Oh, I disagree.
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I feel like my input isn't being appreciated.
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but this is literally a battle for April's soul.
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Oh, just getting here, I see.
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Andy, Tom, you will be our referees.
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Antiperspirant? Not allowed.
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- I'd like to buy it. - You and everyone else.
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Both: Time you delivered her mail. Yeah, we get it.
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One date. But let me make one thing perfectly clear--
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I don't know how either of you guys are doing this.
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All my favorite foods have butter on 'em.
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How long is he planning on staying here?
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No one. That's why we've moved on.
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♪ eating goober peas
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And I believe you can accomplish anything.
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And he responds to them.
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- out of breakfast food. - Good lord.
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Dude, whatever it is, I'm in.
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I need these blue folders done now.
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- You do not want to know. - Oh, my God.
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Garth, I have another proposition.
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Well, I'm a member,
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out of my soap-making time.
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but we've had the benefit of almost 200 years
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in our town's most historic and cherished tradition.
Aired 10 years ago - Apr 11, 2013

Leslie decides to give the Animal Control Department a much-needed makeover. Ann tries to get Ron the medical attention he needs. Ben, Tom, and Andy recruit donors for their charity foundation.

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Okay, I'll lay out the benefits of donating.
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I rubbed my armpits with air fresheners.
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effective, and not completely stoned all the time.
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Gosh, Jeremy, he sounds perfect.
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Yeah, this one is mine, then Dexhart, then you.
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"Boring" is my middle name, so...
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- I answered some of them. - For "date of birth,"
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Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
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He's a rude, brash jerk. You'll love him.
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Ay yi yi.
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People who give to charity, they get amazing press.
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Cuban? Now, that's the kind of guy
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I'm not going to lie to you. I needed that.
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I have my cousin Jason's truck for two more weeks.
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with actual experience at animal control.
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- This is my boy! - Hey, "Wyld Stallyns"!
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You guys seem like pretty cool dudes
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Eh, go ahead.
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- You're fired. Get out. - No, no, you're not fired,
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Would you sign my cast?
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What makes you qualified for animal control?
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I think you've got several options.
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Our health care outreach program
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Makes it easier to just walk up and "pow!"
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as long as it's not too bright or reflective.
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I don't want to hear your fat mouth say anything else.
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Hey! Show these garbage people out!
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called "D.J. Jazzy Vern's."
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Hold up, that's enough. Thank you, you're done.
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April, I got a present for you.
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Except for Jerry, who was great,
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the stupid confirmation hearing, okay?
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- Yes! Yay! - But only if you divorce Ben.
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Ms. Ludgate, we have found many emails
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drinking alcohol in City Hall
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Would you like to put her on your knee?
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I like the idea of double the signings,
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Thank you so much for seeing us again, sir.
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Thought about it last night, and I decided
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and help some kids with their pink eye,
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hold on a sec, okay?
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Not until we go over your test results
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I eat the things I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die.
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No!
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Oh, no? Why is that?
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Animal Control would be way more effective
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Well, I hope he kept a receipt.
Aired 10 years ago - Apr 04, 2013

Leslie accompanies Ben on a trip to his hometown which has offered him a key to the city. Ron deals with a lawsuit filed against him by Councilman Jamm. Ann and Chris take a parenting compatibility quiz.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 1
I don't know, those are Jean-Ralphio's lawyers.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 2
I wanna have a baby, and Chris has agreed to be the father.
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Okay, our official co-parenting score is...
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I loved those movies just as much as he did.
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and I figured it'd be nice to put the ice town thing behind me once and for all.
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alias my boss,
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Well, I pooched the brain exam.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 9
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I doubt he even knew you existed.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 11
Which is water that's lying about being milk.
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Wow, I didn't think about all that,
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Ben?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 14
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 15
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Life.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 17
and they have to surrender to the flow of the universe, you know?
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but it is so discouraging to do so poorly.
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I bought 12 babies,
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But it wasn't the truth.
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and make it on the Indian version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire
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Truth bomb.
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- What are you talking about? - I know, right?
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Like, I just didn't get into it.
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You just do your thing, baby smurf.
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Well, well, well,
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Yeah, we did a trade.
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Bully for you.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 29
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Ben Wyatt.
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Again, this would all be way more satisfying if Ben was here.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 33
If it's so meaningful to him, then where is he?
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He's a golfer. He's pretty good.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 35
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for the article about me taking you to the cleaners.
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He's incredibly frail, and his arms are weak.
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I would like to punch you in the face again.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 39
Oh, uh, they took it back.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 40
It's so unfair. You worked so hard.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 41
But I'm sure that happens with a lot of couples, right?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 42
Okay? Gender.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 (S05E17) - 43
We actually know each other quite well.
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I intend to do as the court orders.
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Yes, it is, and I'm definitely tweeting that to Drake
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I, uh, had a little bad publicity lately,
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I gave Wyatt the key to the city,
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Ann Perkins.
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Are you sure about this?
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 14, 2013

Leslie is determined to help a local video store stay in business. Chris offers Tom advice on how to deal with a difficult employee. Ann resorts to blackmail to get April to be her friend.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 1
Ooh, we don't carry cartoons.
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Leslie, seriously, where are we?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 3
Ann Perkins asked me if I would like to donate sperm,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 4
100%. She's a total klepto.
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Why don't you make Tom your sack of flour,
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Actually, you know what?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 7
I'm thinking about applying to veterinary school
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 8
Generally, between us,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 9
Because you hooked up with him?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 10
If we get the Pawnee Historical Society
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 11
where people gather to do something intellectual.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 12
His business is failing, and you're bailing it out.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 13
Reese Witherspoon.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 14
She scares the crap out of me.
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And if she murders me,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 16
I went out back in the alley behind the store,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 17
that the Pawnee Videodome is a place
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 18
than a thinly veiled government bailout.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 19
and properly utilizing its meat and pelt.
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But I like the idea that there is a place
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Oh. Curly Sue, that jacket is so ugly.
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Okay, we need to discuss your work habits.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 23
I said, if you don't shape up, I'll fire you.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 24
and Michael Fassbender's... sense of humor.
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I'm kind of just fracking for friendship.
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And people need places to buy tools.
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was about to come into some serious physical harm...
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This is not a blank check.
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The Pawnee chapter of the "Liberty or Die" party
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Um... yeah.
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namely, I need to wax my bee.
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You're like a scary Charlotte.
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because we're best friends this week.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 34
to see the effects of your government intervention,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 35
that's always done pretty well for us.
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Leslie, you've always been a huge supporter of my work.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 38
Oh!
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Tell me about Chris, or I'm leaving,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 40
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♪ if you fall, I will catch you ♪
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I made everything worse.
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You know, Chris, every parent makes mistakes.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 44
If, like--
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 45
that you started babbling incoherently.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 46
Capitalism is the only way, Leslie.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 47
Look, the point is there has to be a way
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 48
Here you go.
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No need to pretend to be my friend anymore.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 (S05E16) - 50
A baby-naming book.
Aired 11 years ago - Feb 21, 2013

Leslie's speech she prepared for a special event is stolen. Ben begins his new job at the Sweetums Charity Foundation. Ann summons the courage to ask an important question.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 1
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 2
for asking your ex-boyfriend
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In my front yard.
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and it ruins our friendship?
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And look at that art.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 6
than currently remains in the Amazon rain forest.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 7
You know what they say about rumors.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 8
Ladies and gentlemen,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 9
'Cause I'm about to open this on you.
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I'm glad you're so confident.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 11
It seems like you and I have a classic mix 'em up.
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Pass.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 13
none of my old hobbies interest me.
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You know what? This sounds like fun.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 15
On behalf of Tommy's tummy foundation,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 16
over at the Pawnee Sun.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 17
Some people say
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 18
Oh! I just opened up a can of "whoop ass" on myself!
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She must have gotten a copy of my speech.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 20
and it needs to transcend the genre of roast comedy.
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Oh, Ann, you're too beautiful to be funny.
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and he's gonna tell you about it right now. Go, babe.
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we cannot let our children live in the sewer any longer.
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and the person I see here today... is me."
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I wanted to ask Chris to be the father of my baby.
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"I'm-a Borat." There's one.
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Oh, no. Oh, no, I forgot I did this.
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Um...
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Tom, do you have to run that right now?
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for people who live far away from the hospital.
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Well, I'm terribly disappointed.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 33
he's been really depressed.
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"Chris-toe-fur."
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Well, survey completed.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 36
Will you be the sperm donor?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 37
I put it in my shoe for safekeeping.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 38
right after Ron emailed me about it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 39
Well, the police said they're gonna launch an investigation
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 40
I need to know what they might use against me.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 41
Sorry we didn't wind up choosing the after-school music program.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 42
[Chuckling] Am I right?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 43
Later days, dudes.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 44
about riding your dragons to Pelennor Fields
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I keep getting emails all the time!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 46
You haven't returned any of my calls.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 47
then we have to start at a place of complete honesty.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 48
Can I have just a little bit of time to think about it?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 15 (S05E15) - 49
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for the first time in his life.
Aired 11 years ago - Feb 21, 2013

Leslie and Ben are getting married, and have to cram months of planning into two hours. Ron's temper gets him in trouble.

Aired 11 years ago - Feb 14, 2013

Leslie and Ben organize a black tie gala to raise money for their park. Andy prepares to take his Police Academy Exam. Ron fills in for Leslie on Pawnee Today.

Aired 11 years ago - Feb 07, 2013

Ann tries to get to know herself as Leslie meddles in one of her biggest life decisions. Things go south when Ben enlists the guys to help choose a caterer for the wedding.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 1
But number three's told a story--
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 2
filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat.
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Some sperm.
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Yeah, so did Lance Armstrong,
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- Mmhmm. - Joe, you are a donor here, huh?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 6
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but I hate her and I want to kill her.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 8
What's in the pocket, you ask?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 9
Ooh, you know what?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 10
You'd want to know his personality,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 11
I can interview them and ask them whatever I want.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 12
and the woman in charge of it is me.
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- I just think he's a dick. - Yeah.
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Actually, maybe you should check in on your patient.
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I was dying earlier today.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 16
I did not sleep for one second last night.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 17
We need to call him. We must reach out to him.
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Ben, extension 7820.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 19
And welcome to a public forum about the Pawnee Commons.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 20
a flyer with details about the project,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 21
So are you still dunking basketballs?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 22
What? What are you talking about?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 23
The last guy is Howard Tuttleman.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 24
Smells like some vomit took a dump in here.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 25
Haver-food rule number six--
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 26
And I'm about to go eat some lasagna.
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Everything's fine.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 28
I'm not signing the topless park petition.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 29
Wrote a thesis on narrative forms in the digital world.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 30
Well, I think, you probably need to get back to the studio,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 31
It sounds really interesting.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 32
His name's Howard Tuttleman, Leslie.
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Councilwoman Knope.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 34
You know, I've thought a lot about having kids.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 35
I don't know, I'd name him something funny,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 36
remember that chick Ann I used to...
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 37
And it's down to me and some other turd-munchers.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 38
and you think you're not gonna meet someone,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 39
in respect to this Indian woman's vagina.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 40
I was her for two hours and I want to die.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 41
Well, I'm feeling so much better.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 42
No, it has to be from Pawnee.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 43
Dry toast and half a grapefruit for Chris.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 44
We, uh, got an update on "Operation...
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 45
The fartsicle. Frozen farts you can eat.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 46
Okay, all right.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 47
so I am not gonna Jell-o wrestle.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 48
Fine, I will stand there for one second
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 49
- I don't know. - Yeah!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 50
And the gold medal
Aired 11 years ago - Jan 24, 2013

Leslie and April work as trash collectors to prove a point about gender in city government. Ron has his hands full while he babysits Diane's kids.

Aired 11 years ago - Jan 17, 2013

Ben and Leslie's rival bachelor and bachelorette parties each take on a very different tune.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 1
for Pawnee's newest restaurant.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 2
By the time this all gets cleared up,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 3
Oh, I'm sorry, what's this?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 4
and a wonderful man.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 5
Now, I know you said no strippers
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 6
They specialize in molecular mixology.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 7
And here's your Nimbus Martini.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 8
What's happening?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 9
Having fun?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 10
April's mini-dog park, the Li'l Sebastian fountain,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 11
on land held sacred by the Wamapoke people.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 12
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I'm Abraham Lincoln.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 14
for the Gettysburg undressed!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 15
Yeah.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 16
I never had a bachelor party either.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 17
So two weeks before I married Gayle,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 18
held in a white airplane hangar from the ice planet Hoth,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 19
- Ohhh! - Whoo!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 20
Councilman Jamm was being sneaky,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 21
Use the penises.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 22
And what was it, exactly, that led to you two
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 23
- Gergich. - Aw, jeez.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 24
I want to see the Colts beat the Patriots 49 to nothing,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 25
And this is what heaven is like.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 26
I love them like they're my own children.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 27
They preferred Jim.
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thrown by you.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 29
♪ Hey, yeah
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 30
We're having the time of our lives,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 31
Oh, Donna just ripped off a stripper's underwear
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 32
I want meat!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 33
I don't think so, Jerry.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 34
how's it going with Diane?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 35
So I will just say...
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 36
- Hey, man. - How's it going?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 37
for my own personal gain.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 38
We haven't found any American Indian artifacts.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 39
I also found some weird-looking gummy candy.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 40
and come clean.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 41
You have turned into a very beautiful, wise,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 42
- we ended up having. - Whoa.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 43
Hey, you know what we should do for him?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 44
Why are you telling me all this?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 45
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 46
Full disclosure-- I voted for Ryan Gosling,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 47
Maybe she's an upbeat gal who's nuts about fitness.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 48
And I come back.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 49
And I'm alone.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 50
You know, the old Chris would've loved
Aired 11 years ago - Dec 06, 2012

Ron's nomination for a woodworking award is threatened by the arrival of Tammy II. Jerry hosts a holiday party and some of his friends are shocked to find they were not invited.

Aired 11 years ago - Nov 29, 2012

Leslie is suspicious about a new park design from an Eagleton architect. Tom asks the office for help with his new business. Andy tries to make his job as a security guard exciting.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 1
if they weren't so busy being obsessed with themselves.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 2
So let's at least go meet the guy.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 3
Much like women in '90s stand-up comedy routines,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 4
Son, I love wildlife,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 5
that anyone can reinvent themselves.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 6
- Thank you so much for coming. - No, thank you.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 7
Its official name is "Five Mile Grounds",
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 8
Eagletonians are, without exception,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 9
I'm so bored. I need you.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 10
since I started talking.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 11
I thought being a security guard
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 12
As you can see, we like to keep things quite immaculate.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 13
want to design a tiny Pawnee park?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 14
I have chills. Look at my arm.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 15
and they claimed they weren't home.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 16
Great work, team.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 17
Great! Glad to hear it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 18
May, 1817.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 19
Recognize any of your ancestors among the meanies?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 20
Look, Ms. Knope, I'm really trying here,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 21
Okay. Can I speak to you privately for a minute?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 22
- So untie me! - Nice try, Miss Hitler,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 23
Fine. I will show you where it is, damn it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 24
I am just filled to the brim with questions.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 25
from the great Ron Swanson.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 26
Why don't you start work on that right away?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 27
and you need to apologize.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 28
Mr. St. James,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 29
Leslie would like to apologize.
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No.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 31
I'm s...
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 32
as a gesture of good will, I'd like to waive my fee.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 33
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 34
I think one of the mannequins tried to commit suicide.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 35
One small pizza for all of us.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 36
82nd airborne is everywhere!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 37
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 38
Let's try this way.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 39
containing the sights, sounds, and most importantly,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 40
Or I will rip your throats out.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 41
They call their boogers Pawnee caviar.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 42
Leslie, we can't do that.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 43
You'll never know how much I appreciate it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 44
Bert Macklin kinda made that little boy cry.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 45
how are there palm trees here?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 46
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 47
I think you're wrong.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 48
- Now we're even. - Leslie.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 49
Now, I'm not angry at whoever took it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 50
Oh, let me also get 12 eggs, uncooked,
Aired 11 years ago - Nov 15, 2012

Leslie gets upset when April tries to get Lot 48 made into a dog park. Tom enlists Ben’s help as he tries to launch his new business venture. Andy hones his crime-scene investigation skills.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 1
- Oh, what's the new company? - We specialize in making stacks
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 2
That's actually a really great idea.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 3
I want to take a picture of you saying "per capita."
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 4
I could cry.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 5
Ugh, that's horrifying,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 6
See, the thing is, April, that lot is mine.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 7
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 8
is investigating a crime.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 9
I took my talents to South Beach.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 10
Gotta say, I'm impressed.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 11
Yeah, it was a disaster.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 12
And it's zone 14B, industrial waste clean-up site.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 13
Well, I'm sorry, but lot 48 is the only one that works.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 14
What do I do, Joe?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 15
Look, I am trying to remove parking meters,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 16
He's smart, and he's beautiful,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 17
That soil brochure was not busy work.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 18
But what if this person, this Ricky, who is real,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 19
Welcome to human farm.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 20
Yeah, it's actually about death and the city.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 21
than the last one you had,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 22
Ah, yes.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 23
we're starting up a non-profit foundation
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 24
Just to clarify,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 25
Well, Gary--if that even is your real name--
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 26
Okay, so we know it's not Jerry,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 27
What is that supposed to mean?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 28
He's gonna support my motion
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 29
Aren't you supposed to be a sheep?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 30
for a shorter, Indian Ryan Gosling.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 31
Oh, well, thank you,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 32
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 33
from the offices on the other side
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 34
a motion to construct a dog park
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 35
Well, it sounds like there's considerable opposition to this,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 36
I had a thought.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 37
for debate, I move we sell it to Paunch Burger
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 38
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 39
Hey, April, how is that dog park coming?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 40
It was like a thing he said.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 41
the kind of money to launch a massive investigation.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 42
maybe you ought to do something else.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 43
I don't know, man. Maybe I can't hack this.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 44
Also can you tell me what time
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 45
Look, all I ever wanted was for you to show the enthusiasm
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 46
A lot of love in this room.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 47
like, every night, and that is no good.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 48
My new suspect--the dude who runs Carpet Emporium.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 49
if I can't even investigate bad guys,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 50
for the weekends.
Aired 11 years ago - Nov 08, 2012

Leslie is nervous about meeting Ben's divorced parents. Tom prepares to pitch his new business to Ron with Jean-Ralphio's help. Chris rides an emotional rollercoaster.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 1
I own it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 2
There's actually a lot more,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 3
that Ron doesn't understand.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 4
while my parents slowly strangle each other
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 5
and 30 minutes later,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 6
- This is amazing. - I know.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 7
It's beautiful, and it won't.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 8
Leslie, you deserve the best, and you found it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 9
Hey, Ben, you best watch yourself.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 10
Take all the time you need.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 11
Hi. It's--it's really nice to finally meet you, Ms. Wyatt.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 12
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 13
and I'm feeling very raw from my therapy.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 14
who I love so much.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 15
When we see something adorable, we attack it.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 16
Your father brought his little plaything.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 17
What the hell, Steve? They didn't know I was coming?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 18
but we are gonna fix this.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 19
distract them with innocuous talk
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 20
Everything is terrible, but I am going to fix it
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 21
Chris is in the back room, and he's crying.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 22
Like, I don't know, his friends are getting married,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 23
- Ron in 60 seconds. - Tom.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 24
So I have a certain amount of money.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 25
I like to keep my appointments, son,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 26
- Jean-Ralphio. - That's me.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 27
That's just one of many skills he brings
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 28
because she's terrible.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 29
but this quilt thing is not going to work.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 30
but I am really attracted to you right now.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 31
You are the most wonderful dog in the whole world.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 32
It represents our two families coming together,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 33
and as far as I'm concerned, if there's no Ulani square,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 34
All right. Look at that.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 35
Okay, I'm thinking
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 36
Trust me, he's our best chance at getting start-up money.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 37
Sometimes you've gotta work a little,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 38
Mmm! Wow, that's amazing.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 39
Smallpox, botched surgery,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 40
so can you just cool it for, like, 30 seconds?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 41
Look, champagne!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 42
Oh, boy.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 43
Ladies and gentlemen, the Wyatt family.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 44
and sometimes I won.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 45
I'm a parent.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 46
That is amateur hour, Tom.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 47
Oh, yeah, no, I'm definitely not.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 48
and four bottles of wine.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 49
- It was a good quilt. - It was an awesome quilt.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 50
For another 100 bucks, you can do whatever you want.
Aired 11 years ago - Oct 25, 2012

A job offer for Ben causes Leslie to contemplate their future. Ron and Andy take Diane's girls out trick-or-treating. Tom searches for a new business idea.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 1
I hope no one minds if I live-tweet this bitch.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 2
So, congratulations!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 3
Who was that? I'm just kidding.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 4
Oh. Are you talking about, like, job-wise?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 5
I'm applying to the police academy soon,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 6
Grand larceny. Somebody stole the heater.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 7
No, we can walk them around, it's no problem. I mean, we just got started.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 8
Get your foot out the water, dumb-ass!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 9
"Hashtag, hilarious!"
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 10
It's okay though. My next big business idea is always right around the corner.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 11
And swamps. And swamp sharks.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 12
Neither of us is in costume.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 13
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 14
and paunchy, which is why I'm dressed like this.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 15
Please don't let this ruin your night.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 16
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 17
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Is that for real, or are you just trying to make him feel better because he's doomed?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 19
I just want to hear the doctor say that Jerry had a fart attack.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 20
You are gonna have the future that you've always planned.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 21
Honey, this is the hat I was wearing
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 22
I'm sure she'll get over it if you just say you're sorry, though.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 23
Here are those ankle weights I bought you that you liked so much.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 24
Tom Haverford, my needless shopping phase.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 25
The book's entitled The Thing About Me Is I'm Perd Hapley.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 26
and one day, bam, just like that, gator eats penis.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 27
You know, here, here everyone has a chance to succeed.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 28
I'm considering paying you a lot of money to get me to the State House.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 29
You know, a lot of what you wrote was really profane.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 30
(KNOCKS)
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 31
You look nice today.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 32
It wasn't even a real tiara, for God's sake.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 33
It's a one-of-a-kind autograph from Mayor Gunderson's dog, Rufus.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 34
No, I mean, I'm not making any decisions
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 35
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 36
But you never know, right? No!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 37
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 38
I'm sorry, I'm out.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 39
Oh. That's not as bad as I thought it would be.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 40
I'm gonna buy the complete Smallville box set
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 41
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 42
I sold 12 bucks of Andy, 40 bucks of Tom
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 43
Great. Thank you.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 44
That is amazing. No, it stinks.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 45
Leslie, you can't actually plan your future.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 46
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 47
You were saying it with your heart.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 48
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 49
I know. I'm sorry, Diane. I really am.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 50
Aired 11 years ago - Oct 18, 2012

An STD outbreak amongst Pawnee seniors prompts Leslie to conduct a sex education class. Ron helps Tom adjust to life without technology. Ben and April meet Congressman Murray for the first time.

Aired 11 years ago - Oct 04, 2012

Leslie helps a swim team get more practice time. Ron finds himself filling a pothole. April and Ben take a road trip to Pawnee.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 1
Recently, the Captain of the Pawnee Porpoises swim team
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 2
we are saying to our citizens that this City Council
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 3
because this bill is going to start a long romance
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 4
I'm not weird. Okay, everybody leave.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 5
Pawnee's only a ten-hour drive. Road trip?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 6
You get snacks. I'll bring music.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 7
She's like the little sister I never had.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 8
I understand you've tried them four times.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 9
Oh, hello again, Diane.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 10
Pawnee 311. How can I help--
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 11
Living in this town's like living
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 12
Because. Other cars.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 13
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 14
It is a dentistry jackpot. It's genius, right?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 15
Pawnee's most exclusive cigar club.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 16
Whoa.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 17
- Are you excited, Autumn? - Yeah, definitely.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 18
Councilman Jamm changed his vote.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 19
The perm must wait.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 20
- Tom, a word, please. - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 21
'Cause just when we're about to do something really good,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 22
I just need to hurry up. How do I look?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 23
Excuse me?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 24
Soundtrack to Pulp Fiction,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 25
Oh, no, I--you probably don't want to listen to that...
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 26
about the Fun In The Sun bill,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 27
Councilman Milton was first elected as a city councilor
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 28
- No, thank you. - Tom, eat some.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 29
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Look, it appeared that no one from the proper channels
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 31
uh, Tim, Marie, Tim, and Mary.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 32
"Data had never felt this way before.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 33
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 34
This is delicious.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 35
then I'll spray down the hole to settle the dust
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 36
♪ k-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 37
Just make the trade, everyone's happy.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 38
Andy, come help me tamp this down.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 39
It's a job that requires two men.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 40
- Yes, indeed. - Oh.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 41
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 42
Just give him what he wants. Take the easy way out.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 43
Everything going good?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 44
Wait, but we were gonna make a sparkle palace!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 45
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 46
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 47
You can have my parking space.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 48
Then Ana asks Grey to punish her.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 49
and "B," I did not like her.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 50
- Please, just steer. - Be stronger.
Aired 11 years ago - Sep 27, 2012

Leslie wages war on obesity in Pawnee by passing a city-wide soda tax. Andy tries to get in shape for his police entrance exam. Ben struggles to connect with the interns in his office.

Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 1
These college interns really need to be whipped into shape,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 2
13's just obnoxious. Great meeting.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 3
The physical exam is about three months away
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 4
"be able to run 2 miles in under 25 minutes."
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 5
have changed their "small-size" option
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 6
Does anybody buy that?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 7
Most people call it a gallon,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 8
I'm sorry, Ms. Pinewood,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 9
It's so hot. It was horrible.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 10
No! I'm never gonna be a cop.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 11
I guess I'm proud of me.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 12
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 13
do not respect or like me at all.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 14
I'm thinking of making some changes.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 15
Instead of firing them,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 16
The name implies that there are zero calories,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 17
Okay, I think we're done here.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 18
this press release goes wide.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 19
I proposed this bill,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 20
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 21
would be good for public health.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 22
Speaker system, Mad Men bar, iPad dock, and bam!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 23
I just want to get a good job for me and April.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 24
and I suppose I need to feel
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 25
What? Pizza. That's right.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 26
We should play tomorrow morning in the park.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 27
Tomorrow morning, pre-work Ultimate in the park.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 28
is none of the government's business.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 29
Come on, boys.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 30
Okay, "the soda tax is bad and unfair to consumers."
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 31
Nice catch!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 32
- "I run for April." - I run for April.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 33
No. There's something wrong with my body.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 34
I went to Paunch Burger for a pick-me-up.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 35
I'm under a warm waterfall of uncertainty.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 36
Councilwoman Knope, how do you vote?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 37
Mayhaps, might I suggest that we have a re--aah!
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 38
I mean, when I used to just work here,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 39
Ell-bow. Ell-chupacabra. Drinkin' coffee.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 40
- Uh... - Oh, wow, look at that.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 41
I'm your boss, and you can't keep disrespecting me like this.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 42
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 43
and I have to cast a vote,
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 44
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 45
What--you--me--fou-- four--fired--times?
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 46
- Nothing. The silent killer. - Oh, my God.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 47
I'm gonna die an anonymous, meaningless speck of dust.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 48
You were freaking out
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 49
You are as "in line" as a person can be.
Recap of Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 50
Run a four-minute mile, climb Mount Everest.
Aired 11 years ago - Sep 20, 2012

Leslie and Andy visit Ben and April at their new jobs in Washington D.C.. Ron throws a thank you barbeque for the entire Parks and Recreation staff.