Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 3

Aired 3 years ago - May 05, 2014

When Caroline discovers that Max didn’t graduate high school by failing to show up for only one exam, she decides to help her best friend get her degree – and reconnect with her estranged mother.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 1
If that's Mr. Huck,
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See, right now, I'm looking at you
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I'm sorry I have to chew, everyone.
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I mean, I'll never live down
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And if Mr. Huck thinks I would ever step foot
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and that you have no ambition and no follow-through.
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I thought you just showed up, and if you looked like
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But only because Mr. Huck thinks I won't.
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Hey, Max.
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Well, apology accepted for everything ever
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I don't know why I root for you.
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Oof, you're going to be working here forever.
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I know, when they show it to me on those security cameras,
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every time you come to the window, so...
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You have to ask questions
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Which amendment to the United States constitution
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So when you say women can vote,
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learning to walk again.
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against the sale or drinking of alcohol called?
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I will use a public bus.
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In what city was The Constitution written?
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When are we stopping?
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Here, study.
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You know, in an underfunded public school kind of way.
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They're the only reason I passed chemistry.
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And you must be Caroline.
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- Are you nervous? - A little.
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See, you already got one question right.
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"In 1775, Paul Revere warned which two men
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For really real.
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Max, I'm sorry to tell you that...
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Whatever that friend of yours there did to help you,
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I said I didn't care about.
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That's so me of you.
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I'm not vaccinated for anything in here, but...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 40
with a prostitute named Tiny Marge.
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She was a little jealous that I was hanging out
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Turns out, you're not that big of a high school dropout,
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I know it's in your phone under "Lady I came out of".
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Just do it. You'll be so happy when you see her there tomorrow.
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or selling the neighbor's cat for beer money,
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Hit three, delete, rerecord.
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Oh, and congratulations.
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Why didn't you take that test?
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Just like my mother didn't come here today.
Aired 3 years ago - Apr 28, 2014

When Caroline and Max join Sophie at the racetrack as guests of Sophie's new bookie boyfriend, Caroline's reignited love for horse racing gets out of hand.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 23 (S03E23) - 1
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Sure, I'll go get you some menus and the wine list.
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You bare them, baby.
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and we're out of everything in the pictures since 1974.
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if the glasses were clean?
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Are you even real?
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That's a beauty, but not as much a beauty
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Oh, then we're there.
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the horses down there on the track
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over here!
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Come on, Peanut. Get a little closer to me.
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Ah, horse racing is, after all,
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Nicky, who am I gonna bet on?
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Yeah, you're talking for long.
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I know about that. That's how I am.
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No, I meant place a bet.
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Yeah, but nothing stupid, just, like, not using a condom.
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some of those special popovers.
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I just ate the entire cast of Finding Nemo.
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And they're off.
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Yes, yes, yes.
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And not hide a diamond ring in it?
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And, waiter, bring my Peanut
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we won 600 on our 200 after just that one horse race?
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Don't bring that over here. That's been in your crack.
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never getting another acting job again.
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Then, fine, you can have the money.
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Nope, I'll tell you what I tell every guy
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Is there a map or a tour guide?
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No, I meant I'll never ask you for money again.
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You girls are still playing the horses.
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Are we talking "add avocado" money?
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You... You owe Nicky.
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You can survive in the trunk of a Lincoln for five, six days easy.
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Buck That and Little House on the Gary.
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Where'd you buy them, JC Puny?
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A mouse set a trap for you.
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You're doing me such a big, big favor.
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You don't have it up to there.
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You're right. No more short jokes.
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And I just bit the inside of my mouth.
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Eddie, hi. Is there anything you can tell me
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Oh, no, what's happening?
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There is no sure thing
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All that and we lost?
Aired 3 years ago - Apr 21, 2014

When Max and Caroline find out the lease is up on their apartment, they’re forced to find the original tenant and have him re-sign, claiming he still lives there, or risk being evicted.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 1
Well, you know him too. It's Oleg.
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could afford to live in this building.
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Turns out my father's name is "mother has no idea".
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As soon as they find out this Lester Donovan
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He's at a rest home in Sheepshead Bay.
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He's probably already shaking.
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Technically I'd be your co-star.
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Actually, there's an apartment in my building
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I'm not talking about me and you.
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and you get to crap your pants!
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No, he's alive, but just...
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you still live there for a day.
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Listen, Lester, we need you...
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18 hours tops!
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I'm not ready to move in with you.
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That's still in play at their age?
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when we see each other at Bingo.
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I'll just grab my penis pump, and we're outta here.
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Lester, not that I minded pushing you 35 blocks, but...
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Have you ever made love to a lady with no teeth
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Liza Minnelli threw up in that corner.
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Do we need to go over our cover story again?
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Which is the only part of our story that's true.
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There's his bong.
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I just have a few questions, mr. Donovan.
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and it's still a little awkward between us.
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She lives upstairs, and she doesn't know Lester?
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Sophie, this is the guy from the agency
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Come closer. He can't hear you.
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Oh, I'm as hip as they come, baby! Yeah!
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Have a nice day!
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Oh, hey, it's been 18 hours.
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Good to be home!
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You know, at the home they keep salt on lockdown.
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It's called a Ukrainian divorce.
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Caroline sings so much
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Yes, some nurse tripped over the power cord.
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She puts the "ass" in "bass."
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Oh, I do love an egg cream.
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More jell-o?
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It's wall-to-wall whoopee,
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and I will gladly leave the apartment.
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with my tail between my legs.
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for my Facebook page.
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♪ Take me out... ♪
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for who's gonna sleep with Lester.
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And, Max, I think you cheated in that straw pull.
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I do, I think the science part of your brain would enjoy it.
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I don't think there are any bullets in that gun.
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that apartment in Earl's building
Aired 3 years ago - Apr 14, 2014

Max and Caroline agree to make a wedding cake for a bride who can’t decide on what style of cake she wants – or much of anything else.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 1
Remind me to start calling Han "Mini Cooper."
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$1,300. Remember, babe?
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Bed wettings.
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Okay. See you guys in a sec.
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but I can't tell you which president Rock Hudson was.
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Weddings are just stupid.
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Okay, we're done.
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Oh, I remember that place.
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Yeah, you know, it was always my dream to have a dress shop.
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Yeah, good thing you downloaded the "Find Your Drunk Roommate" app.
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Yeah, well, I was in the plane that crashed in the Hudson,
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what if we did something with a weird hipster Williamsburg vibe?
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Wow, she changes her mind more than I change my underwear.
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you listed your occupation as "Sophie."
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I give it out to all the underage girls from Poland as treats.
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You can't write off liquor.
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for downstairs eyebrows, so I'm just gonna list it as home office.
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she's supposed to be working.
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Oh, you can't reach it anyway, Mini Cooper.
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Caroline, can I get anything for a panty liner?
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and I know I said I didn't want the fondant frosting,
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Love you too.
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What, you can't light a couple's head on fire
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By the way, I fished the other ones out of the garbage
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Got it. Got it. Got it.
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Got it. Got it. Got it.
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Oh! Oh!
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Oh, this guy can't see. Just our luck.
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Max, I think we got it.
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they realize it's half cake-half styrofoam
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You think 'cause I'm fake smiling I won't throw you down a flight of stairs?
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Nobody gets paid until the bride walks down the aisle.
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- We need this money. - We also need a shower curtain
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And we owe Uncle Sam $1,500.
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Knock-knock. There's the gorgeous bride.
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- So stupid. - Max.
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Okay, I feel like you guys are forcing me into this dress.
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Anyways, I'm thinking...
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There was a gang shooting in front of my dress shop.
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- We're losers. - Get married.
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You know what, tell him whatever you want.
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to walk down that aisle once.
Aired 3 years ago - Mar 24, 2014

When Deke invites Max and Caroline to join him and his parents for dinner at their home, Max is tongue-tied until his mother confides in her about her secret past.

Aired 3 years ago - Mar 17, 2014

Caroline tries to fit in with Max and the diner gang as they go out to get wild and crazy at the St. Patrick's Day parade, but finds herself longing to practice her former holiday traditions at the Plaza Hotel.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 1
You look like a pimp I used to use in Vietnam.
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I'm gonna sell t-shirts.
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I might also not be interested in that product.
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And go pee in the park, no muss, no fuss.
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Better make it six, 'cause if it's for ladies,
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I know, but he's snowboarding somewhere called vail
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I miss my old St. Patrick's day tradition.
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We'd rent a big suite at the plaza overlooking the parade,
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One year you hit me and my friend archie.
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Is this cab even moving?
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Do it. Do it, if it'll get us there faster.
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No, we won't. We need that $356. That's all we made today.
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Now I'm never gonna sell the pee funnels.
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That's illegal. You need a permit!
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Well, I kinda like to keep my skirt wearing on the D.L.
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I'll catch up with you at Blarney's.
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Is this really how we honor the Irish,
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Maybe take that advice.
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And who knows? Maybe you'll meet a cute, Irish guy.
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Every year I kiss him for good luck.
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What?
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Hey, told you that small would fit.
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Oh, no, you're not Becca.
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Max, I am not doing this.
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Will you take a 20?
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We're just taking advantage of drunk people.
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The one over there who brought in outside chicken?
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That's the gist.
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off my mouth and out of my mouth.
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I think I came out ahead.
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She's having fun.
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Guys.
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I have to drive a school bus in four hours.
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Dodged a bullet.
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You mean in life? Yeah, me neither.
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I've hit some very low points today,
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How do I do this?
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Hi, Caroline.
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Well, I do go down to the station voluntarily.
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Come on.
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Rest in pee, Caroline.
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And I just remembered his name is Rolph.
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Ooh, kind of tastes like the time
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You know, tonight is really bringing up
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Really dropped the ball.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 49
Max, this is nice.
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'Cause I feel like I got a text about it and ignored it.
Aired 3 years ago - Mar 03, 2014

Caroline goes into a tailspin and brings Max into the mix when Nicolas tells her he's going to leave his wife for her.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 1
Because no one likes that stuff anyway.
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Ow, ow, ow! Oh, my wrist!
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I think so. I wasn't listening. So what do I tell him?
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Will she be coming? Nope, not anytime soon.
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Look at this. Nicolas already texted me.
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If you ever say "se-end" again,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 7
Whoever that is.
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He drives the Miramax party bus, and he wears a big wig.
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I'll also do partial frontal or just penis close-ups.
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Keep piping.
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He's got the flu. It's everywhere.
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What's the hurry? You sound like my mother
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 13
Guess where those stairs go.
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There's no shame in it, Caroline. Everyone poops.
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Okay, I'm ready. Let me just grab the medicine I got for Deke.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 16
Caroline, there you are.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 17
Oh, is that not helping?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 18
Well, you can have dinner with me, because I'm leaving my wife.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 19
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I think I took the train, but, Max,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 21
Look, when I texted him that, I was just being flirty.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 22
and I was jumping up and down, excited, With my best friend Jennifer Lawrence.
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Exactly. I'm not the type of person who wants him to leave his wife.
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"Almost."
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It's just a thing you say to pretty women to get them into bed.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 26
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'cause he's shown you on his phone,
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Max, I just got another text from Nicolas about him leaving his wife.
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Yeah, but they skype every day.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 30
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Oh, no takers?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 32
I hope Nicolas takes my breaking it off with him okay,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 33
The lobby told me you were on your way up.
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How do I put this? Nicolas, I came here today to tell you...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 35
Look, I am not the type of person who breaks up marriages.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 36
No. Because that's her in the lobby.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 37
Oh, my God, that's your wife in the lobby?
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Come on, Max, we have to get out of here now.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 39
She can't find me here. I can't be this girl.
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It is not just Caroline.
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I'm going to have to stay with my wife.
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Pretend we're hot plumbers?
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Let me just get you a clean hand towel.
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to the neighbor's terrace, jump, and get away.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 48
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Max, please just let it be your fault.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 50
Yeah, for the Breaking Bad finale!
Aired 3 years ago - Feb 24, 2014

Caroline asks Max and Deke to join her on her dinner date at Nicolas’s loft to help make sure she doesn’t do anything she might regret. Also, Max and Caroline treat themselves to very special hair appointments.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 1
so I guess that's more of a bitter pill.
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Yeah, so be a gentleman and take a step back,
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I guess one would call it a restaurant?
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We have all this relationship drama,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 5
who would have sex with another woman without asking my wife?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 6
My boss at Quiznos once told me his wife's dying wish
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Wait, you want me to Skype with your wife about sex?
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Oh.
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Wow, wow.
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And he's French too?
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Oh.
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I'm not gonna be sleeping with him either.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 14
Welcome to the Tristan Evans salon.
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At least tell me they're gay.
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So weird, 'cause I majored in head.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 17
You're not, like, a Danny or a Dantrell?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 18
Is the water too warm?
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Yeah, but I always wanted to know what it felt like to get a shampoo
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I'll see you at home. I'm pretty close to a hairgasm.
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Oh, my God!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 23
because I've always been an old drag queen
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I used it to smuggle cheese and cigarettes into the prison.
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I even bought myself a flat French hat to make me more French.
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And, Max, bring that lamp closer to my face,
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I mean, look at me.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 28
Bonjour. You must be Juliette.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 29
I didn't even get to say "hos before bros" in French.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 30
You won't even share your French toast.
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I like it.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 32
Nicolas, I'm not staying.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 33
Well, that dinner we weren't staying for was delicious.
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Creme caramel au coconut cake.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 36
To that king-size bed with what looks like really good sheets
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 37
No, a pill-pill.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 38
And I've testified against half my family.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 39
Honestly, I prefer if you kill us.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 40
Can't dance?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 41
This is my least favorite part of the Addams Family.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 42
Stay. We don't have to have sex.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 43
Why would you call anyone into a bathroom if you don't have coke?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 44
Hey.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 45
Listen, now I'm thinking I want to sleep over, but not have sex.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 46
You really think you can sleep in his bed with him,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 47
was because you were afraid of being alone with him?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 48
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Yup, we are too drunk.
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Oh, and, Nicolas, before you go,
Aired 3 years ago - Feb 03, 2014

Max decides to break up with Deke now that she knows about his wealthy background.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 1
Wait, Max, is that one of your gnomes?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 2
And frankly, neither do I.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 3
Shouldn't you be occupying Wall Street or something?
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Is he one of the ones who touched you?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 5
And that's on the low end, according to bing.
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I am not breaking up with you.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 7
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Earl, money changes people. I know.
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For a rich person has come to dine in your establishment!
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Right this way, sir.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 11
Pastry school partners?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 12
- Max... - Deke, you can't be my boyfriend.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 13
Max, I really wish you'd reconsider breaking up with Deke.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 14
Yes, but people can change.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 15
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 16
Caroline, get in here!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 17
In your size?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 18
Ha! For love!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 19
I don't wanna be your friend. I wanna be your boyfriend.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 20
Wrong. I have no self-esteem.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 21
That's when they were poor and I felt sorry for them.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 22
or do you really not know the names of two religions?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 23
I've only lived like a witch. I've never lived like a Smurf.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 24
Oh, I better take off this silly robe and put on my skirt.
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"Language preference: English, Spanish, Chinese, French."
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Yeah, I got a hot 17 in here that's dying to get out.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 27
Han, your ATM's broken.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 28
Everybody freeze.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 29
So, Deke left this note for you earlier.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 30
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Here.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 33
Here, guy who stands behind me...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 34
Herbal essences, no big deal.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 35
And you, woman who sold me out for shoes.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 36
We'll call it a shopping spree.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 37
What are you talking about? We're not quitting the diner.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 38
And don't worry, he was not named
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 39
Who says I'm for sale?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 40
Well, you were wrong.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 41
Oh, so you were just trying to buy me with the money?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 42
to that orphanage, so they had her diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 43
"Deke Mc-richy Mc-never-had-to-work-for-anything"?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 44
I've tried everything to show you I'm not
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 45
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Well, there's no dust there anymore.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 47
I don't need attitude from some waitress.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 48
I don't have to take this.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 49
Good question.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 50
I mean, I have $1 million.
Aired 3 years ago - Jan 27, 2014

When Deke invites Max’s friends over for a gathering at his dumpster, Caroline learns an enormous secret about his background.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 1
back to the Shire with the other hobbits.
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Everyone, final touches.
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No, no, for the cake competition.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 4
And also... how do you say... Bragging rights.
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Mm-mm, uh-uh, don't do that. You're married.
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if I were to pick the prettiest flower in the room, I'd pick you.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 7
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I love you too.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 9
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 10
And two, I need five minutes of girl talk
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 11
He said, "I love you," and I said it back.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 12
This calls for a Margarita!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 13
It doesn't bother you he has to move his house
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 14
Max, you're in love with that cute mochaccino homeless guy with the Jew-fro?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 15
You know, I used to be engaged to a man who lived in the sewers.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 16
If he can introduce me to Donatello, get him back.
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Probably because he got me hooked on heroin.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 18
Go ahead, Sophie.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 19
Invite me over to the garbage can for a wine and cheese party.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 20
The place is so small, I once accidentally took it home in my purse.
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It's just the usual diner crew, you know.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 22
it is still good enough for me as an adult.
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Look, honestly, yes. But I definitely meant it, I think.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 24
I can totally wait... I love you, Max.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 25
So would you like a cabernet or a Shiraz?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 26
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It took me a year to get this kind of smell out of here, but thanks, Han.
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Oh, hell no. I am too old for this.
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Hey, Earl, you wanna go get drunk somewhere
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 30
Cool brag, Han.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 31
I mean, I'm surprised to see a Roquefort cheese paired with a 2001 Syrah
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 32
He looks nervous like the fat guy at a birthday party
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 33
All right, another babe.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 34
- Sorry, I thought you were into him. - I'm not into him.
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Well, I got hit by a bus, and I was dead for seven minutes.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 37
Caroline, looks like it's gonna be just you and me in the office.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 38
It was frozen. Shattered my pelvis.
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I don't want any of your crème.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 40
Well, before tonight, I thought he was the guy who walks around singing,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 41
- Let me walk with you. - No, no, no. I'm good.
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Life is complex.
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- No, it's just... - Seriously! You don't have to say it.
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Well, my writing's really good. I forge a lot of checks and prescriptions.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 47
Yes, Deke, I love you.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 48
Okay, now where's the big one?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 49
Wait, Bebe. Bromberg?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 50
So you're telling me Deke is from the Bromberg family,
Aired 3 years ago - Jan 20, 2014

When Deke takes Max to his place after a great first date, his "home" is nothing like she expected. Meanwhile, Caroline feels empowered - then scared for her life - after having a shady car towed from the front of their apartment building.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 1
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Maybe. And I'll buy you some dinner if you put out.
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You came all the way here to ask me out?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 4
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- What exactly did you see? - A car.
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- Relax. No one is after you. - Oh, really?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 7
Max, you're coming back tonight, right?
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It's an online game, but he says it's more of a lifestyle.
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It couldn't be. I haven't paid them all the money yet.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 10
Oh, no, I've got to sit down.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 11
then why do you act the way you do?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 12
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Don't go. Dangerous people are after me.
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Rula? Yes.
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Ah, 2009... The last year I had anything.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 16
No offense, Nancy, but we really need a dog in this situation.
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and stopped at a bodega to buy me condoms.
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So you thought of that in your head, and your brain was like, "That's okay to say"?
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This is usually the part where the girl says
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And if you think it's cool now, watch this.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 22
You have a sink in here and a stove.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 23
That's the smartest way to eat a burrito.
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Free delivery, yo.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 25
I'm not just saying this 'cause you live in a dumpster, but I'll take some...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 26
Next time I won't be wearing this hat.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 27
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And I got a horse and a cat, possibly a dead roommate, so...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 29
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Why is your outgoing message a fart?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 32
So self-involved.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 33
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Whoever you are, I have a pot of pretty hot water!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 35
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If it helps, your toes do look bigger.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 37
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Come right in.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 39
You clowns need to figure out your insurance information
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 40
Max, can you take that flu season pamphlet and fan my feet?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 41
No, right now, I am very concerned about your legs.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 42
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Max, don't take this the wrong way,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 44
I was raised to believe canned meat is as good as it gets.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 45
Well, I kicked heroin in a 7/11 bathroom for three days.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 46
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 47
- She right over there. - Ooh, she came back to life!
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I made it for you. I'm sorry my brother threw that cupcake at you.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 49
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That's rule number two.
Aired 3 years ago - Jan 13, 2014

Max finds herself wanting to be more than just friends with her pastry school partner, Deke. Meanwhile, Caroline is "hot for teacher" - the married Chef Nicholas.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 1
at hipsters wearing those stupid stuffed animal hats.
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Ooh! Let's play a snow day game.
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"Could have" or "forced to have"?
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No, it was me in a bear costume.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 5
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You pick me out of all these two people?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 7
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Where's Max? And I know shs's not trapped in the storm,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 9
A doh-doh-doh-doh-doh?
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Han's not dead, and he wants us to do side work.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 11
You don't know her that well.
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Her butt's so big, she walks into the room doggie-style.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 13
Not as much as it bothers me when you talk to me like I'm a girl.
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So you're sure there's nothing sexual going on between you and him?
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Not that cold.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 16
Well, there's Nicolas. I was not prepared for this.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 17
LL Cool J. Never been cooler.
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- Don't worry, he'll never know. - Pretend you're Nicolas.
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- You ever heard that one before? - Yeah. Is that, like, a thing?
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Really? I assumed you guys would take the ass-calator.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 21
Then what does your real face look like?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 22
Today, we will be concentrating on the chemistry of baking,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 23
You think she got that thing at a Kim Kardashian backyard sale?
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Max, look, they were drawn to each other, they bonded,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 25
Wet your bread, everyone, wet your bread.
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I mean, that is interesting. Let's talk about that.
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and then my bread was wet, if you know what I'm saying.
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The first time you met Nicolas,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 31
Matt Lauer... that guy's got game.
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Oh, I felt like I was birthing a baby through my eye hole.
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Oh, wait, I love giving advice. I had my own advice column in Poland.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 34
No, it will ruin your relationship and my opinion of Max.
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Oh, God, I sound like such a girl from the '50s...
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Max, he likes big butts, and he cannot lie.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 37
- This doesn't make any sense! - Well, your book is upside down.
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All right, well, I better be going.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 39
That is weird. Maybe it's the same thing.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 40
I know, she's got balls to go with that butt.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 41
Wait, you want me to go for it?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 42
what temperature cho-cho-cho turns into chan-chan-chan.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 43
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I'm so glad I didn't say anything. That would have felt terrible.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 45
Well, I'm about to be more screwed than Judy,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 46
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 47
Can't argue with that.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 48
Max, that's French.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 49
Maybe she can help me look for the test, 'cause you're useless.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 50
You have to, it's the only logical explanation you have for being in here.
Aired 3 years ago - Dec 16, 2013

After an incredible make-out session with Max’s pastry school teacher, Chef Nicholas, Caroline finds out something that makes her wish it never happened.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
And me. I saw it over your shoulder.
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Max, should we help him find his mom?
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Now, come on. This is a diner, not study hall. You're working.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
I am out the door.
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Look, I've been texting with Nicolas. He thirstay.
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Or as they say in France, "A call du bootay."
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Yeah, like a sexual object.
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before he does something to my insides.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
And he used "tu", not "vous."
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So as far as my dessert goes, I went all-out
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11
It was right there the whole time. How could I not see it?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
Said the only person here not in pastry school.
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I thought I'd distract myself by going out with you guys,
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You're right, Max. I shouldn't text him.
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Isn't that what people do? I forget.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
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I think I'll just wink.
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No, no, it's just that I usually like to fast-forward
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
Well, we're hoping not to see any balls.
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You know, for someone who wasn't gonna have sex,
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Come on, you can't leave. We just got here.
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- Did they look? - No, he's busy rounding third.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
trying to binge eat this image out of my mind.
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Hello?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
Well, I never had a father to teach me.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
Yes, last night got a little out of hand.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
Yeah, the princess and the penis.
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Heh. Well, the thing is he's married.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
Fronch?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
that she has to marry someone who isn't married.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
FYI, if you ever get hit, just stay down.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
Sure. Sit. Have some salad. You and me, me and you.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
- So Nicolas, where do you think he is? - He just said he had a lunch date.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
Married?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
Kendall Jenner is applying to colleges?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
- Tell anyone what? - Caroline kissed a married man.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
and says "dreamscape," so let's judge her on that.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
You know, in Poland, the wedding vows say,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
until he handed in his homework.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
and then the final cry, which is probably my fault.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
That's right. And look what I found written on the back.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
- Oh, man, this is heavy. - I know, very heavy.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
Or just ignore it so I don't get kicked out of school?
Aired 3 years ago - Dec 02, 2013

Caroline attends her former nanny’s funeral, thinking the family will be honored to have her, but quickly finds out they have no idea who she is.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 1
Caroline, your nanny passed?
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Have you seen Han?
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I just read the craziest article in this Popular Science
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 4
you can only take off for the death of a family member.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 5
Were you on the top or the bottom?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 6
I got your nanny death text.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 7
I was so heartbroken, I could barely eat her.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 8
It's still good goat meat.
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I don't even want to get in a conversation with her.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 10
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 11
Bebe, I can't thank you enough for driving us to the funeral.
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Okay, now you're going 100.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 13
No. That Antonia is really dead.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 14
to Antonia’s family that I came out of respect.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 15
"Antonia woke me up with a cup of hot cocoa"
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 16
It was our first Halloween together. I was four.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 17
and stumble from door-to-door telling people I was my mother.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 18
Really, every day.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 19
Who are you, every guy I've ever dated?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 20
Yeah...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 21
Yeah, and she's got a bowl and a chew-toy.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 22
What? It was a terrible signature.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 23
The flowers and everything are so beautiful.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 24
and stand next to me for the occasional supportive lean.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 25
I was talking to him.
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"Yo, other little rich kid! My nanny can snap your neck."
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 28
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Stop. We're family. I'm Caroline Channing.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 30
a donation after they view the deceased.
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This is a real Ziploc, not one of those knock-offs.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 33
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Oh, she looks so peaceful.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 35
No! Max, hold my hand again while I...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 36
My nerves got the best of me. You understand.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 37
Caroline Channing who?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 38
I could be. What's in it for me?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 39
Caroline. Caroline Channing.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 40
It's a coffin, not a wishing well.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 41
Well, yeah.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 42
Let's focus on the positive. Anthony really liked your ass.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 43
Yes. I do. Would you like me to share it with you?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 44
Do you have a pen? I'm getting the name of her doctor.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 45
- Who? - Caroline Channing.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 46
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 47
And now I get here and I realize no one loved me, I was just a paycheck.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 48
Max, Ricky's girl.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 49
and I'd offer to pay you for your trouble,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 50
But now, you gotta go.
Aired 3 years ago - Nov 25, 2013

Max attempts to make a good impression on her first day of pastry school, but finds the class clown to be extremely distracting – and intriguing. Meanwhile, Caroline dresses to impress Max’s handsome teacher, Nicolas.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 1
What is happening?
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Max, open it. Look inside.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 3
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 4
It's a pencil case, and I love it.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 5
Max doesn't even need pencils. She'll be baking.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 6
Han, that was supposed to be a surprise.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 7
So there is nothing in that bag for me?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 8
- Getting on. - Please move.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 9
Oh, oh, bad smell, like someone hooked up with a falafel.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 10
and back in my chic business clothes,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 11
Don't worry, I'll do my best. I mean, look, I have a book bag.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 12
- Why? It's the thought that counts. - Since when?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 13
I'll be one of those people decorating cookies with a bag in their mouth.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 14
My blouse.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 15
Oh, look. There's chef Gorgeous. I don't want him to see me like this.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 16
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Sorry, I got robbed on the subway by some jerk.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 18
Did he say he wants to "foke us"?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 19
I'm not allowed to hear bad news for another month.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 20
so I'm just gonna need to sit here for a second and be quiet.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 21
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What's this? Why am I holding a juice menu?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 23
Oh, boy, it's like I'm a bad news machine.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 24
But I can't meet everyone on my first day looking like this.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 25
Hi. Hi, everyone.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 26
I'm usually wearing Chanel, not le chien.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 27
Juice, miss? Care for a juice from someone who scored 1560 on her SATs?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 28
I always keep the edge clean, so when I'm squeezing it,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 29
What are you doing? You told me you were gonna take school seriously.
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Hey, chef Max. Check out my technique.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 31
but if I did, it'd be more like
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 32
Enough with the dirty jokes.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 33
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We should be lab partners. Come on. It'll be bitchin'.
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used to say it to me all the time.
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Stop laughing. I have to carry 27 juices 2 blocks wearing this.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 38
Well, there goes another $12.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 39
"Sad dog, your juices are ready."
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 40
I get enough of it at that school.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 41
This looks like it's going to get dirty and ugly.
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I know, but you just said I can't just do it for you, and I agree.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 43
- It is? Really? - No, it's not fine.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 44
I just had a bad day. I mean, we both did.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 45
And a switchblade.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 46
just like this, things can change from bad to good.
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Aw. Thank you, guys.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 48
So that's a 780 on verbal, and a 780 on math.
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"I've seen the future of finance, and it's us."
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 50
Dude, we gotta ditch these deadbeat partners.
Aired 4 years ago - Nov 18, 2013

Max decides to apply to the Manhattan School of Pastry and bakes a tart for her entrance exam.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 1
You can't afford two arms.
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Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3
I was trapped under this big truck.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
Oh, I'm jealous I don't have arm to wear cheap jewelry.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5
Relax, she's tough. Reminds me of a young me.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
I didn't get this far in this business by taking help.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
Can you give us a hand?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
It's just the body in its natural form, spread-eagle on a motorcycle.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
Hey, is this a brochure for pastry school?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
Come on, I really think that this is something we should talk about.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11
Max, you never came home after you stormed out, so I brought you your uniform.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
Well, maybe your new broommate
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
Just like having those porn magazines
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Tuition is only $3,000 a year. A lot, but doable.
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Here we are, Max. Your dream starts now.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17
Can you help me? She's holding me against my will.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18
Hi.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 19
I wasn't expecting something this high-pressure my first day back.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
I was a chef here once. And then I wasn't.
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French, indeed. I'm chef Nicolas Saintcroix,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23
It looks like Bebe forgot the second page.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24
Then she wasn't.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
Okay, well, maybe you will. Nice meeting you both.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
I got plenty of time. Besides, pressure ups my game.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27
A tart's just like a cookie with some pudding on it, right?
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Turns out a tart's more than a cookie with some pudding on it!
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I'm a tart who can't make a tart!
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No, you can do this. Here. Here. This still looks ready to go.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
You haven't even finished the shell? That's the easiest part!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
I finally found a situation my boobs can't get me out of!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33
She is going to make her own tart.
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You're not safe. Leave.
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The first man to tell me that is in jail.
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This is exciting, huh?
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It's flaky, creamy...
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I will talk it over with my faculty and we will let you know.
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Relax. I am returning what I took.
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At least give me back my gift card from Sephora.
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Lot of people talking about my chili in that bathroom.
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Behold, the rarest sight of them all.
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That's why I didn't get into law school.
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I am going down there right now
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Hey, you. Tart tease, we need a word.
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I'm going to have to remove myself from the situation and go sit in the hallway.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48
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I act like I don't want anything because I never got anything I wanted.
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Aired 4 years ago - Nov 11, 2013

When Caroline’s date is a no-show after promising to take her to one of the city’s hippest new restaurants, she and Max decide to take advantage of the hard-to-get reservation.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 1
the city has one of those free vans that'll take him home.
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Good night, broke-ass divas.
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- Luis, can you work for me tomorrow? - Absolutely not, no.
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Caroline, what is my number-one diner rule?
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No phones.
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And my phone is fully charged,
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which means every time you make a dumb purchase,
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Perfect, 'cause I'm snow-bored with this conversation.
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Nancy and I have been really looking forward to you leaving
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That was the name of my talk show in Poland.
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Yeah, I hear everything that does and doesn't happen
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Yeah, and I got you a big grab bag of condoms.
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Usually, a "great personality" is the only birth control I need.
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You do?
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And I like what I'm wearing, and I don't have time to change
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In fact, I wouldn't even know if I was being stood up,
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Okay, fine.
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we can call our friend Oleg, and he can go put a hit on him.
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Don't be so snooty, you used to be a hot dog on a stick.
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Someone's sending me a copy of He's Just Not That Into You.
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This was the day Caroline Channing got stood up.
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Yeah, I wanted to take you back to a time before you were stood up.
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Look, they even have a country clothesline hung with baby clothes.
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Yes, hi, um, Brian-Brian.
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You can have a drink, and I'll call you when your table is ready.
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- It means I'll seat you when your... - Brian-Brian, Bri-Bri, B.B., come on.
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but I'm kinda broke and you're kinda gay, so just be nice.
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Yep, just regular folks, sitting around designer pickle barrels.
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Your waitress will be right over.
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Hard to believe, but a man named Brian-Brian has been dethroned.
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Was that drink directed by Wes Anderson?
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You still think the surfer's coming.
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to a father/daughter dance with her mom's weed dealer.
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This is not a Katherine Heigl movie.
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Hang up. He's not coming.
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Our drinks are right there.
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No wonder they don't have any bad yelp reviews.
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What's she been doing, dancing with wolves?
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- Would you get us some wine? - Oh, sure, what kind?
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Yeah, who isn't? Except for Asian guys.
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York, York, don't be mad. Byron was starving and we're thirsty.
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For your help. Byron wants you to have it.
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You're pretty. You have a good body.
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I just got a hit. Well, I'm out.
Aired 4 years ago - Nov 04, 2013

After Han emails photos of a stripper’s face to his mother claiming she’s his girlfriend, he begs Max and Caroline to find her and convince her to play his girlfriend when his mother arrives from Korea.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 1
Low, bitchy... I respect that.
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Thanks, doll. You'se twos can have a seat on that couch.
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I am sure I can manage to not offend her.
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Been waitin' my whole life.
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Hold your roll, girl. We're spending a lot of Han's money here.
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that I don't judge you for because I'm very open-minded.
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Okay, sit. Let's do this.
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Yeah, girl, work that.
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Oh, peek-a-boo, there's your head.
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And I'm willing to pay you to show me how to do that with my hips.
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And I cannot be a latent bisexual with everything else already on my plate.
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He has no girlfriend, no experience, and no package, so that sounds perfect.
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You know, I remember when this first came out.
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So, no sign of mama-say-mama-sah-ma-mama-Han?
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I can't tell if she's a smaller him or if he's a smaller her.
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You must be Han's mother.
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Hay-yo!
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- And this is Max. - Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lee.
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I'll get you a menu.
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she's very busy.
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But I have your address on your work forms.
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And it smells like pot in here.
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Han, you don't look like you've called a girl before.
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Yes, I'm gonna lull you to sleep with a tiny, invisible whistle.
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if it pays the mortgage on my park view terrace apartment, right?
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Here we are, all relaxed.
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Yes, we met at church and are crazy in love,
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Oh, I hope that's pizza.
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But this will be a good test to see if you two pass as a couple.
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is supposed to believe that
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Look, look, Caroline, look.
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You see, I'm thinking about it later and I'm L-O-L'ing.
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- You're sure you can fake it? - Can I fake it...?
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I hope my hair looks all right.
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I am just so excited that my Han finally found the perfect girlfriend.
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Yep, that girl is always on her knees.
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And girlfriend of Han.
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It's a pleasure to meet you.
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Church! We met in church. Upstairs on the roof of church.
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Before we start on the appetizers,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 47
Oh, God.
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Oh, okay. I-I don't know that one.
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Such a good appetite. You ate the whole thing.
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- Yeah, but you told me that she was... - I mean, now.
Aired 4 years ago - Oct 28, 2013

Feeling guilty for buying hair extensions with their joint funds, Caroline splurges on a new bedding set for Max but gives the old one to charity, not realizing her old pillowcase has sentimental value.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 1
Oh, good! So no one knows.
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No, I'm between clubs. Circus just became a straight club,
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Well, he left already.
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I knew this was all too good to be true. You have extensions.
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I'm not interested unless it's a potbelly pig
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My bed doesn't wear skirts. It's a dude!
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These don't even have stains!
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But I'm not sure which of it is mine.
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Who's that?
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Well, I can't sleep without those sheets.
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Why am I on the floor in my new jammies?
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Well, get up. You're going to the army, bitch.
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'Cause I always knew it was gonna happen, I just didn't know when.
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Okay, I'll tell you, but look away.
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I guess I still need that pillowcase to sleep, or whatever.
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By the way, "dirty box" was my nickname in continuation school.
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- You know, like a finger basket. - Finger basket...?
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Okay, Max, now be very careful.
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I'm not in here alone.
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No, I won't.
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Let it go. If your sheets are under there, they're no long sweet.
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I'd be even angrier if I hadn't found this great bra.
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Or as she likes to call them, "night candy".
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Just doing a puzzle and listening to Elvis.
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I only need three hours of sleep at night
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No, it was on CNN.
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Fish oil, penicillin, amoxicillin...
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Oh, you know what?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 31
Don't wait for me, Max. This might be a while.
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Is that the sleeping pill,
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and sleep coach Caroline here will have you asleep by 3:45 the latest.
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Max, meet your new sheets.
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but not the queerest thing I've ever seen.
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Look, if there's one thing old finger basket know how to do
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That pillowcase was my one special thing.
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You're a piece of sheet.
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What does that mean?
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I'm not about to sit here and take this abuse
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You're a monster!
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Caroline, if I wanted to work around people in a good mood, I'd go work at Google.
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Me too, when I'm in a seat.
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Now, since you were nice enough to get me new sheets,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 46
A wig?
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and then tell me again how this is all in my head.
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- Put it on. - Max, I'm scared.
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Are you here for the mafia widow discount?
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And I love that you have an outfit for everything I ask you to do.
Aired 4 years ago - Oct 21, 2013

When Max and Caroline start losing business to the new cronut craze (half-croissant, half-donut), they come up with their own trend – cake fries.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 1
Anyway, she said she only cares about cronuts
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Cronut is what we called my Croatian cousin with one testicle.
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If cronuts had tongues, they'd be the Miley Cyrus of pastries.
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Back in the day, 4:00 a.m. was when people would snort lines,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 5
I waited in line for two whole days.
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Why, to make them less cool?
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I knew we should have gotten here sooner, but, no, I had to be a good person,
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the "sleep-through- the-morning-after" pill?
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I hate all these stupid trends. Cleanses, cronuts, condoms...
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I like croissants. I like doughnuts.
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Look, it's two things I like put together.
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Magic Mike.
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Now that's a line you don't want to cut in.
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Everybody relax.
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You're the rabbi.
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I would if you would stop trying to fill my gap.
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- And I'm Garry. - I'm Jerri, he's Garry.
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- ...like sea salt on dark chocolate. - Hmm.
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Actually, it's true, and you can read all about it in his memoir.
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- Next in line. - It happened!
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We loved The Butler.
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- Nope. - We don't know them.
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No, I want our business to have a line.
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I'm listening.
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and then, when they sell out, we'll effortlessly switch to cupcakes.
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I've never bought anything on the black market before.
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So far, this musical sucks.
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Which is code for, "You're really bad at code."
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Yeah, and don't worry about me. I'll improve some good stuff on the spot.
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You're not the only girls in town who want my nuts!
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That's pure. How much for ten?
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I be getting mad offers for these things tonight.
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She said 200. We'll pay 200. And you'll take it.
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- Thank you, Max. - What'd you say?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 38
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Max, you should see the line. It's halfway down the block.
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and then those'll sell out too because they're that good.
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All right, go!
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I don't think we should order more cronuts.
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I went right from baby food into fries in frosting.
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Cake fries. We're millionaires.
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That's what you said that day too.
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All right.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 47
I suppose I have been trying to eat better lately.
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- What's the "Q"? - Questioning.
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I slipped in her sweat and she bought me a Luna bar.
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This is our new product, called Cake Fries.
Aired 4 years ago - Oct 14, 2013

When Max and Caroline can’t figure out how to use the new cappuccino maker they bought for their cupcake business, they take temporary side jobs as baristas at a coffee house to learn the ropes.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 1
Sixteenth-sies.
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Hi, you must be the new day waiter.
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Oh, Max is funny.
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Nothing, but thank you.
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And I don't get personal, so don't ask me how old I am.
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You don't need to know mine.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 7
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I'm all the dead girls from American Horror Story.
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We got the four-tops. We got the two-tops.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 10
Earl, that's the new day waiter.
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What does it say on the board?
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What? It's prime real estate.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 13
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Or should I say a latte more cappuccino-y?
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Thanks for the weather report, Ursher.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 16
- Are those sirens? - Shut up!
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It's the Armenian way.
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Okay, I guess Max can do you in that closet over there.
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And, Oleg, I'm touched and a little surprised.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 20
For when you're horny and hungry.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 21
Hey, I can't find any of the instructions on here for our coffeemaker.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 22
Did you put yourself in a time-out?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 23
I'm doing it for the money we'll make from the free cappuccino machine.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 24
You have a wheelhouse, and we're living in this dump?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 25
At least that's what he said. I fell asleep at 10:00.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 26
Actually, it's more of a personal question.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 27
Okay, okay, Sophie.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 28
Did he ask about me?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 29
And they're the good ones, you know, with the pee hole in them.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 30
Holy Mother of God!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 31
She just had her carpet steam-cleaned.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 32
Okay, let's see. Here's the steam one.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 33
That cappuccino machine might have just given me a grande hysterectomy.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 34
I'm sorry, Oleg. Sophie's moved on. She's seeing other men.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 35
Oleg...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 36
- Uh, it's our closet, why? - I should check it out.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 37
Oleg's in the closet.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 38
Ah-ah-ah-ah, boundaries, girls, boundaries.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 39
I don't work for you. Don't bring me into your drama.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 40
That's not what I was gonna say.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 41
I can't believe we got hired so quickly.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 42
I know. That's unfortunate.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 43
Sorry, Devon. It's just that it's hard for her, 'cause your name is Devon.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 44
And is there dental? 'cause I got a dead tooth doing nothing for me.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 45
in which case, tell me now.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 46
So you tamp, pack, turn the knob,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 47
I think I can handle it. I went to Wharton.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 48
Venti triple cap, no whip.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 49
And I finished all over myself.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 50
I'll have a tall cap, triple-shot half caf.
Aired 4 years ago - Oct 07, 2013

When Max becomes smitten with an old stray cat that's been hanging around the apartment, Caroline tries to convince her they need to find it a better home. But just when they think they've found one, the cat's fate takes a turn.

Aired 4 years ago - Sep 30, 2013

Caroline tries to raise money for an expensive pair of new pants through an online fundraising site. Meanwhile, Max’s new smartphone comes between her and Caroline.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 1
Max, they sell clothes by the pound.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 2
Well, that and a lot of febreze, which reminds me...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 3
Did you see the high-fashion model shoot?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 4
Oh, and there's my first-favorite scent.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 5
like Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 6
and give my regards to Mrs. Doubtfire.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 7
and even though her feet were split open,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 8
And I like my old flip.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 9
And if you can, can I?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 10
You are getting that free phone,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 11
Well, obviously, they don't have anything.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 12
Let's shop.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 13
Where can I get a new flip phone?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 14
Oh, here it is. I have it.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 15
According to Judge Joe Brown, it was not related.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 16
Pick 'em up, get a feel, hold it in your hand for a while.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 17
Wow. These sample texts are getting kind of racy.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 18
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 19
Now, tell me, what are your phone needs?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 20
I have a hole in my butt.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 21
Max, I might be a virgin again.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 22
My first call.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 23
I had to take her call.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 24
Scrolling.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 25
Oh, perfect.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 26
Oh, they're not gonna know it's me.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 27
Hi. I can't tell you my name,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 28
having the most fun I've ever had.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 29
and then turn it into a dog and then call it a doggie bag.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 30
then I promise I will give back to the community,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 31
of amazing dries van Noten silk brocade pants... super cute.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 32
For $20, I'll send them a selfie without pants.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 33
And action.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 34
For $500, you can come here
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 35
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 36
Well, Earl, I guess desperation cuts like a knife.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 37
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 38
Uh, hello?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 39
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 40
You're group-texting insults about me!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 41
Oh! Oh, my God!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 42
Hey, Han insists we can't leave tonight without doing our side work,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 43
♪ They don't want to do nothing with they life ♪
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 44
Okay, let me see.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 45
can you see it through the window?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 46
I hear you, Max, but I just can't believe
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 47
Look what your $10 is buying you!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 48
Why are you acting weird?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 49
She's gonna look at it, isn't she, Earl?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 50
You know how I am. Ask Earl. Earl, help.
Aired 4 years ago - Sep 23, 2013

Word about a shocking incident involving a celebrity brings customers to Max and Caroline's new cupcake window.

Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 1
After my first jazz record didn't sell,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 2
- It's 2:00 A.M.! - Our hours are 2:00 to 4:00.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 3
between a soft one and a hard one?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 4
It's fine, Oleg.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 5
- She's kidding. - No, she's not.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 6
Okay, no more blind eye bull crap.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 7
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 8
Original tan, original tile, original too.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 9
- I'd rather not. - Nice?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 10
And, Han, this was all possible
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 11
Burn it to the ground, for all I care."
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 12
Look, girls, I'm blowing this party horn for you.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 13
Sorry, Sofie, about this uncomfortable meeting.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 14
And the award for the best drama goes to...
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 15
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 16
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 17
Come over here and eat something from the girls' soft opening!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 18
Fairy cakes? Damn it.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 19
I haven't held a black one in my hands in years.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 20
- What is he on? - Besides me later?
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 21
He's not breathing.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 22
Called that wrong.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 23
is like a law in England.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 24
Yesterday a rock star, and today he's gone.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 25
And, two, someday I'm gonna order breakfast to be delivered
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 26
And you only live till the next time you say "yolo."
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 27
but I'm saying, if it does, I'm gonna be the first one to know.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 28
And I can't put it up now
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 29
I caught this at his last concert.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 30
Sorry for your loss and dope hat.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 31
I have beaucoup friends coming here for the midnight vigil.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 32
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 33
Content. Peaceful.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 34
♪ Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ♪
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 35
What a waste.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 36
Han, shh. These people are in mourning. Show some respect.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 37
Your business is booming, and now I want rent.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 38
"He Only Died Once."
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 39
That's it, your business is booming,
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 40
Show him your bite marks! Fine!
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 41
No! That's too personal.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 42
Max, it's the thought that counts.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 43
♪ Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ♪
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 44
At a mourner's discount of just $8.95.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 45
Wait, let me just light a candle for my dignity.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 46
Because this is our death.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 47
If I don't get this out, it's gonna be my memorial service.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 48
Hey, that's so not cool, man.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 49
Hey! Hi.
Recap of 2 Broke Girls Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 50
No! Stop!