Status
Ended
Network
Showtime
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 7

Aired 2 years ago - Jun 29, 2014

Hank makes a life-altering decision. Series finale.

Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 12 (S07E12) - 1
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Gone? What do you mean gone?
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Mm-hmm. Maybe, maybe not.
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to be mad about the most recent turn of events here.
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- Ashton. - Julia?
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Looking hot, Marcy. Hot.
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- Like that? Is that what you mean? - Charlie.
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Bloop... I slipped right in.
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I'll do my best.
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- I'm good for it. - No, you're not.
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I know. Just let me see if I can end it, all right?
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It's easy for me to remember that way...
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Don't knock it till you tried it, pal, all right?
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I'm in really good shape right now,
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to anything with a couple "X" chromosomes, dude.
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Yeah, you're the actor guy, right?
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Sara, Tara... not that you're retarded or tweaked or anything.
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Like, happy good.
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Watch out for the toilet paper.
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- [Yelps] - Just enjoy her.
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Yeah, show me your best.
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I hope he does... at the appropriate time.
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What does it look like?
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It's definitely not you.
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but we could get together sometime for lunch maybe,
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- [Clears throat] - Please...
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all will be right with the world.
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You know, this is not as creepy as you may think.
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Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. This is too fucking weird.
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Those are games, Stu! "No" means "no," you know!
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You mean, like, anal?
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Fuck you, Stu. We're keeping the money.
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Good for you!
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♪ One of the days, the ground will drop ♪
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- [Laughs] - Yeah.
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♪ one of these days, their bombs will drop ♪
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♪ Easy for you to say ♪
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Come on, a little positive affirmation never hurt anyone.
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Hank, I'm tired of reading you.
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will never be anything less than a big, smiling mess."
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The guy gets the girl.
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no matter how many times you get it wrong,
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You can sit next to me if you want.
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♪ she packed my bags last night preflight ♪
Aired 2 years ago - Jun 22, 2014

Hank might soon be out of a job. Becca makes a big announcement.

Aired 2 years ago - Jun 15, 2014

Hank entices Karen to have dinner with him, but Julia interrupts their romantic evening. Later, Charlie, Marcy, Krull, Levon and his new friend bring even more drama to the night; and chaos ensues when Stu assaults Charlie's manhood.

Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 10 (S07E10) - 1
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Tu n'as pas oublié ton porte-monnaie.
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Tu sais que je mourrais d'envie d'essayer cet endroit.
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Je voulais faire ça pour toi. Tu le mérites.
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Oui. Enfin parfois oui.
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- Tu crois cela ? - Oui je le crois.
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Je veux dire, ça ne marche pas entre nous.
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Tu es charmée par mon intention foireuse de te charmer.
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Je suis désolée ! Je ne savais pas.
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Il est pas mauvais. Tiens.
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J'aimerais beaucoup, Karen.
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Maintenant que tu vas mieux, je peux te poser une question ?
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Oui, c'est ça.
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Tu baiserais un type pour un million de dollars ?
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- Il est joli. - Ça va.
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mes rêves éveillés,
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Toi aussi, mon pote.
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J'ai oublié la fois où j'ai trouvé Atticus,
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Je t'avais dit de rester loin de lui
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Tu m'as prise sur ta moto.
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- Dans les fesses et tout. - Mon dieu.
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Vraiment ?
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Le rêve d'un grand acteur.
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mon essence même.
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Et l'Emmy est attribué...
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Mais oui, enfoiré !
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- Pourquoi c'est une bonne nouvelle ? - Bonne nouvelle pour moi.
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J'avais juste une très belle conversation
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Et j'aimerais à un moment...
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En elle ?
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Désolé de faire irruption,
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- C'est tellement beau. - Et c'est pour toi.
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dans la plus douce et exotique des soies.
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que je suis arrivé au plus près du créateur.
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Il faut qu'on parle.
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Stu, arrête de me manquer de respect.
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Arrête ça !
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- Je pensais que Hashtag était mauvais. - Personne ne doit se battre comme ça.
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mais je n'avais pas été avec une femme depuis si longtemps...
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Tu sais,
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Merci pour ton honnêteté.
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- Ce n'est pas sympa. - Il n'était pas aussi bon que...
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Je suis en super forme,
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Il avait l'air d'aller quand ils l'ont mis
Aired 2 years ago - Jun 08, 2014

Hank recalls turbulent times with Karen, a confused Becca, and their days with a happier Charlie and Marcy. Meanwhile, a nun helps Hank put things into perspective.

Aired 2 years ago - Jun 01, 2014

Hank has problems with Hashtag Black. Stu's offer leads to fisticuffs.

Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 8 (S07E08) - 1
What the fuck is he going on about?
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Kickoff party tonight at my place--be there.
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It's inspiring, Hank.
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Levon says great things about you.
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Do you notice anything weird about Levon?
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Yeah. One day, all this could be yours.
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Well, it's like riding a bike. You just have a drink or ten
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- Stu, Nikki, how's it hanging? - Hank, how are you?
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levon/hooker thing on the D.L.?
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Hashtag.
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We can do a modern-day action-comedy,
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- Oh! Oh, oh, okay. - Mm-hmm.
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Well, see, that's where you're wrong, Moody.
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So it's not enough that I have to fight with this motherfucker
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- sometimes you got to what? - You know.
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- I want to bone her again. - She's with Stu.
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Yeah, but now that I got my dick wet,
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Are you sure you should be... drinking?
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I'm so fucking pissed at Rath right now.
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woman-hating dickhead.
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Have fun.
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and sticking pencils up his pooper.
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Can I be honest with you?
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How--how you doing? How's married life?
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This television thing has me shitting cash.
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Marcy may very well be your soul mate,
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Now, when was this
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You miss fucking Marcy. Okay, I get it. So what?
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for as many times as we can fit into a night.
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I mean, not like comedian funny, but I-I'm witty.
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I needed a job too, but I'm not so keen on growing up.
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A big bummer. Can you do me a favor?
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- is Sasha Bingham. - I know Sasha Bingham.
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Absolutely.
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After all, isn't it important for a writer to show
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You're a very pleasant actress, very agreeable.
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Yeah. Um, sorry about that.
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Well, it's not like I'm some commodity.
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I was very vulnerable in that chair.
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- Ew. - What if I brushed my teeth?
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I mean, I-I don't know that I'd want to.
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where it don't belong.
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The job is yours, Julia.
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Motherfuckers!
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No, I know, Stu. I'm really sorry.
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You lost your virginity to a hooker.
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But, no, I had to fly too close to the sun.
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Aired 2 years ago - May 25, 2014

Rath demands a rewrite of Hank's 'Santa Monica Cop' script. Julia's new boss, Dr. Dan, gives her some career advice, but Levon and Hank have other ideas. Charlie and Marcy consider Stu's offer - until Atticus' old rock 'n' roll butler Krull offers an alternative solution to their money woes.

Aired 2 years ago - May 18, 2014

A "Santa Monica Cop" kickoff party is hosted by Rath, where Hank conducts an intimate notes session with the show's leading lady, and Hashtag Black eyes Julia. Meanwhile, Charlie manages head-case client Goldie; and Stu makes Charlie an offer.

Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 1
wherever it winds up.
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No offense-- y'all got the tendency
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- Set--set bitches? Set bitch? - No.
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the one who came in his pants.
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All right, go inside and behave yourself.
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something of a positive role model.
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My schween is hanging on your every word.
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and told me both men and women had nipples.
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- How you be, bro? - I be good.
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- Mm-hmm. - All right, look.
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I'm doing scenes with her right now up in here.
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then there's no ass left to enjoy.
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And he doesn't like the way you're writing him.
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- sometimes you got to what? - You know.
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So what? She can't spare a few minutes
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beating off just seems kind of lame, you know?
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Sorry. Who would know?
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He let Hashtag call me a bitch today.
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Good, I made sure they had
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Be gentle with me.
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I did, and he blew me off.
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Oh, yeah? What's that, Stu?
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I know you won her fair and square,
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she let me go down on her,
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Tuesday...
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With your permission, and hers, of course,
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You totally made this worth my while.
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It was time to grow the fuck up.
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or some class-up-the-ass BBC thing,
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That is just a very nice thing to say about a person.
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It just sounds so intellectual.
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Yeah. Um, sorry about that.
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What can I say? You get the boys all hot and bothered.
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I was very vulnerable in that chair.
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Come on, that's got to be a bit of a turn-on--
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But I think there's only one way to defuse this situation.
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goes in here and whose doesn't, okay?
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What you waiting for, Rath? Fire his fucking ass.
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So, really, this is all on you.
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She--she's the coolest. I think I'm in love.
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And he totally was.
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Don't worry, dad.
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Rath, I think what Goldie means to say is--
Aired 2 years ago - May 11, 2014

Levon enjoys a night with Nikki, while Karen, Hank and Marcy are forced to endure the company of Nikki's creepy friend. Meanwhile, Charlie gets in over his head with a new client.

Aired 2 years ago - May 04, 2014

Hank and Levon help Julia celebrate her new role. Meanwhile, financial trouble adds to Charlie and Marcy's marital unrest, but a new client may put Charlie back in the black; and Levon tries to get some alone time with Melanie, but the Director keeps getting in the way.

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Just break one of those incredibly sexy legs of yours.
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Go get them.
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Hey, get in here. Take a look at this.
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Rules are made to be broken, sweetheart.
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She's... she's... she's very natural.
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Is it cool if I, uh...
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My life is entirely too complicated right now.
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- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did.
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You wrote an episode of Dawson's Creek, didn't you?
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because you would be bored to tears.
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But do you think it's working against me professionally?
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We're talking. We're just... we're sitting.
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Yeah, well, sometimes those limp dicks can surprise you.
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What about her?
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Fuck you. Fuck you.
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and barely holding on to the first rung,
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had something to do with it...
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Tight squeeze back here.
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That's right.
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- What? - It's Melanie.
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So what's the move here?
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and I will start working to make your dreams come true.
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You know what I mean?
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I went on RedTube and watched your masturbation video.
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Sure. I was happy to.
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Are you saying that he expects me to have sex with him
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that the boss man might have a crush on you.
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- You should. - Mm-hmm. I will, right away.
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He's left me alone ever since.
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of sexual harassment lawsuits,
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Yeah, but you work for the show, right?
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I'm just swinging my big, fat dick around.
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Get her one too, and, uh, don't be too quick about it.
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Okay, so?
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- I am. - Yes, you are.
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He's on his way down. I'm on my way up.
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What the fuck? You have a gun in there?
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And what other way could that have possibly sounded?
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Oh, but that doesn't make me want to be with you, Levon.
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You know, you got to see a dentist
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 48
that might have been something, but Levon always got in the way.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 49
- Well, that's not fair. - What?
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 50
- It's a terrible idea. - Terrible idea.
Aired 2 years ago - Apr 27, 2014

Hank gets his first episode assignment, much to the dismay of coworkers Terry and Hugh. Meanwhile, Levon tries to bond with Rath's assistant; Charlie attempts to patch things up with Marcy; and Karen considers giving up on Hank.

Aired 2 years ago - Apr 20, 2014

Hank gets frustrated with his "Santa Monica Cop" coworkers on his first day in the show's writer's room, and he gets a surprise when he visits Levon's apartment. Meanwhile, Charlie meets Rath's new assistant; and Karen gets an unexpected surprise.

Aired 2 years ago - Apr 13, 2014

Hank's reunion with Karen doesn't go quite as he planned. Meanwhile, Hank gets hired by the "Santa Monica Cop" showrunner; and a reporter asks to interview Hank for his college paper.

Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 1
you were back here alone, by yourself.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 2
Uh, hello.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 3
Karen, please, come on.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 4
I know where to find you.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 5
His cum probably tastes like hummus.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 6
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 7
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A shit sandwich to chew on.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 9
He was incredibly moved by my quest.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 10
It would be irresponsible of me, Hank.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 11
There are no jobs, Hank, not anymore.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 12
It's all right. It's all right, baby boy.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 13
Okay. Talk to me, buddy boy.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 14
a big lippy puss down there.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 15
Okay.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 16
Aw, thanks, Hanky.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 17
Whaaat...
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 18
That's you.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 19
What the fuck, Runks? I didn't tell you to set that up.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 20
So, uh, where were you born?
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 21
Not really. I mean, I'm a big fan of "Womaninity".
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 22
How many hearts have you broken in your life?
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 23
Bye.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 24
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 25
I know exactly what that woman is like on a honeymoon.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 26
So things are going really well for me. Thanks for asking.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 27
But then I picked myself the fuck up,
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 28
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Take a walk. You guys too. Get out.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 30
and a brief but very moving puppet show.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 31
but life is too short for shenanigans, Hank.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 32
I have the... the sexy, energetic brain of a newbie
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 33
I'm trying to grow the fuck up for once.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 34
Can you work with actors without fucking them
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 35
What is this really about?
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 36
I got eyes and ears all over this fucking building, scumbags.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 37
It's just... that seems like something stu would call you.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 38
Okay? Gimme kissy.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 39
Ok... Okay.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 40
It's just... it... Ugh!
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 41
I'm gonna go down on you
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 42
Oh, my God, Charlie. If you're gonna eat me out you can't cry.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 43
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 44
He can actually suck himself off
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 45
You remember that nice lady from the New York Times
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 46
'cause I-I came back for you and all.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 47
Di... Did he leave you?
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 48
Okay. Bye.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 49
writer of books and some movies, I guess.
Recap of Californication Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 50
Cool. Did... Did you used to love her?