Haters Back Off

Miranda finally gets a chance to make her mark on Broadway, but things don't go quite as expected. Money troubles force the family to get creative.

You'll get the deposit back. You'll get more than the deposit back!

- Miranda Sings! You came! - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Of course she does.

I'd love for you to come tonight. She seems like a lovely young lady.

Yep. Also, I can eat a corn dog without hardly any chewing.

Do you want to go lay with me in her bed?

but I have one last surprise.

♪ I was walking along Minding my business ♪

See, I'm supposed to be on stage here tonight,

You try.

Why didn't you tell me?

Why don't you come by my office this week, and, uh, let's figure something out?

Sweetie, you did great out there. You made your father proud!

But, Bethany, it's the solution to all our problems.

What are you talking about?

She is upset with Kelly because he ran off to New York.

Like, there?

Do you have any lipstick?

How did you come up with this character?

- What's your real name? How about that? - Let's move on to the next...

All right. So, did you get me a record deal yet?

doing her best to make herself look dumb.

I mean, look at you.

It's fun by the heater.

Also, if you get hungry, you're gonna want snacks.

"Oh, Miranda, what if I don't have any money 'cause a idiot stole it all?"

I mean, seriously, do you even know what was going on at that agency?

No. I don't want to.

only to back out at the last moment

As Miranda World opens to the public, guilty secrets and jealous rivalries threaten to spoil the fun.

Synced by Bakugan

can kiss wherever and whenever we want.

That sounds very stressful.

Does this look like a place that's gonna sell some paintings or what?

Well, it means a lot that you would invite your friends to this.

Petting Zoo, check.

Aw. Speaking of complimenting ladies,

That's what they used to call me in school.

Miranda, man the rides. I'll get the money bucket!

Well, that was the first time I've tried it on a human hand,

Funny.

We should go.

- Hmm? - Hi. Can I get a picture?

I see you're touching my doll.

No, stop, stop! Look what you're doing! Look what you did!

I think I see where this is going, Jim.

But the problem is she has this daughter...

Wait, wait, wait. You said "kissing game..."

I'm feeling great about this.

Whoa! Stop! Stop! Do not go up on that. You're gonna ruin it.

Okay, we've seen it, we can go now.

It's a little flat in the back, needs some more cushion for the pushin'.

Well, actually, we, um... We have plans...

Cheryl loves art.

We have reservations for a date tonight. I just don't wanna be late.

- Can you just step right this way? - Okay.

Did I do something to you?

We weren't even dating then.

'cause you gotta look past it, is the trick.

Okay? This is going great. Just how we planned.

Me and Amanda have plans, so...

I deserve someone who loves me as much as I love them! And it's not you!

Because I can't tell if this is just her normal aggression

How are we gonna get to Broadway if we use this money for rent?

Besides, he says he has a glass stove.

Miranda, what's wrong?

and lying directly to your face that we've been doing. It's a good thing.

Um...

You know, they betrayed both of us.

While Miranda throws herself into building her theme park, Uncle Jim prepares a memorable first date, and a surprise visitor whisks Emily away.

Boner petite.

I'm in love with your mother!

You're so sexy and amazing and handsome and funny.

I was just on the phone with my boyfriend.

I wanted to tell him that I am

It'll be even better than anything you could do!

- Yeah. - Deep down in their groins.

Uncle Jim! Mom!

Uncle Jim, does it look like me?

Bethany, uh, I need to go someplace else for reasons.

And I'm your dad.

Where is the wine?

Maybe later we can hug and touch hands.

See, Mom? I told you he'd come back for me.

- Wait, really? - Absolutely.

Oh, Bethany, I'm so sorry.

Bethany will just work longer and harder, and Kelly's credit score will be fine.

- Oh. - I would have bled out in under a minute.

Kelly. Oh!

Look at this. How embarrassing. You weren't supposed to see this.

I thought when you joined Color Guard, all hope was lost.

If you haven't kissed a girl, she's not your girlfriend.

Set this up over there.

- A statue? - With a big head and everything.

Oh, my word.

So I think we should set a price point at 700 per.

They're not that, either.

Thanks for nothing, Carl.

Wait, what? What does that mean?

Oh, sounds exotic and safe.

- Uh... - Oh, hi. I'm Amanda.

Oh, my gosh! It's so nice to finally meet you.

It's opening this week in my front yard, so...

Stay right there. Just wait there for one minute.

I don't think that's the news.

Miranda, get off the intercom! This has been the news.

No, that is not the news, I'm the news. And come to Miranda World, everybody.

Is she okay?

Miranda hits a major setback on the romantic front. Meanwhile, the new vibe between Bethany and Jim makes things awkward around the house.

- The one that said that, uh... - What did she say?

Or will you be doing something else?

How am I supposed to walk if I don't have a kidney?

I wanted to say that, as your boyfriend...

Okay.

Oh! Jim!

Exactly! How come this YouTuber already has a tour,

Uh... No... No... You...

We need you to fall in love with someone.

Have a seat, we're going for a ride.

Maybe someday I could wear it again, if you ever need, like, a magic partner.

Get out...

Bethany, will you go on a date with me?

and now Mom is breathing close to me with horrible breath.

- I didn't know you had genu valgum. - I don't.

You're both buttheads!

Well, I didn't say mean.

You have Joey Graceffana all to yourself.

Hit it!

♪ No, no, not living without you ♪

Right now, there is nothing between her and the fame she deserves.

You could put your cool shoes back on now, if you want.

Kiss, milady.

Ta-da!

you can't plan love.

I'll just pick you up tomorrow for dinner.

A trip to the hospital gives Uncle Jim a twisted new idea for his line of Miranda merchandise. Emily makes a selfless offer.

- These clothes smell like skin. - No, Miranda, don't you understand?

Okay. She needs to stay sick. I'll start praying.

I need you to build an industrial, multicolored silk screen apparatus.

- Does an ear count as a hole? - Yes.

God, it feels like I'm walking on a mushroom.

- We should wait for the doctor. - Oh, he came by. I can go.

Can you help me get this IV out? The nurse refuses to.

- Start praying. - Mmm-hmm.

Are you sure this is something you want to do?

I'm not a big fan of needles so I'll look away, if that's okay.

- Come here. Give... - No.

Wow! I look incredible.

But don't worry. Turns out this hospital has ink after all.

No, they're gonna pay us. We're not paying them.

Did you say something? Oh!

Only $19.99! What a miracle!

I wouldn't wake up either if I were him. He has to wake up in that ugly thing.

You know, just a body. Platonic body.

Robots? Sure. Or, um...

Oh, you're with that foundation. Sorry to interrupt.

I think Emily is planning to give me one of her kidneys,

You're very lucky to have someone who loves you as much as you love them.

You look beautiful.

Emily, I have the results from your blood test.

Ladies and gentlemen. Grab your loved ones and your wallets.

This elegant piece says, "Kiss me before the clock strikes 12:00."

Miranda's outfit is a heart-stopper.

The five hes and hos from the beautiful Miranda!

Just a gentle reminder, all these looks are for sale.

Looks like she's ready to curl up with a naughty summer read.

All right, everybody, get ready for the finale!

♪ My mother says When you gonna live your life right ♪

Hey, everybody, watch this! I'm gonna do a stage dive!

Of course you can't. You don't even notice your own mother dying in front of you.

I know you wanna keep things strictly professional.

Look at me.

Shocked to discover a young girl has been copying her act online, Miranda vows to take her rival down -- at a middle school talent show.

But I did it.

It's okay. Maybe one day we'll think of a number to put after your name.

This is no time for subtlety.

Take down this video or we will find you and make you.

"@MirandaSings08. You're so good."

- Tweet her again. - I can't.

You could've done that song so much better than her.

It's just easier for me to keep an eye on you this way.

Everything moved! What the heck?

Mmm!

The lighting is much better in here.

Ew, creep!

- That's not creepy. - Gross! You're disgusting.

Well, I'm starving! Emily won't let me eat anything.

Mom, what did I tell you about eating processed foods?

That's me!

Obviously!

- She goes to the dentist? - What a loser.

All we need to do is find the impostor, figure out what she knows about Broadway

She's worried about me, and it's really very sweet.

because I think you'll find she's making me very sick.

You should listen to your daughter. Let her take care of you.

but we gotta get going if we wanna make it on time.

Well, do you know her? I mean, why is she dressed like you?

Now, breathe in.

- Huh? - Yes...

Why are you tying me up? Is this for a video? That's hilarious.

Fine, we'll have to go to part two of our plan.

- Why are her shoes so loud? - Well, those are tap shoes.

you got laughed at and humiliated, and your whole family left you.

We simply walk away.

Oh, my God!

Good job relaxing, Uncle Jim.

- No, I can do it. - No, you can't.

I'm going to tell you all a little story.

Well, I'm about to blow your minds, 'cause I'm not Fern.

Did you hear me? I'm Miranda Sings. So, hold the applause.

Anyways, since you haters don't believe me...

Uncle Jim and Miranda try to cash in on YouTube ads, only to end up at war with a taco chain. Bethany and her ex compete for Emily's affections.

Stop installing toilets in things! It's ruining my plans for Broadway.

Okay, I think I know the problem. He doesn't recognize me, so...

What?

- Excuse me, hi. Is there a problem? - Yes, actually.

Hey!

I know Dad has his quirks, but he's not all bad.

No, I was miserable because of Miranda.

Uh, yeah, just finished.

Oh, uh, looks really good. Uh-huh.

Can I offer you some Pinot

For instance, I never got my alimony check last month.

I know. But she grew out of that. Who knew?

And I'm not gonna leave here without her. Do you understand that?

and an annoying baby.

And besides, you have the other daughter. So why are you being so selfish?

Public enemy number one equals taco!

All so some guy in a suit could take all the credit?

No. No. Jos... It's an expression.

- Yeah. You're gonna love it. - All right.

Well, did you know that I abused diet pills through my 20s?

All varieties, sexy, non-sexy. And I know you've got what it takes.

There is this famous Realtor and he's on all of the bus benches.

Is this plastic?

Society ignores women unless they make a spectacle of themselves.

The taco covered her knees!

I told you, Miranda, once the news gets here, we'll get our money.

You know what? I don't know. I'm sorry. I just...

No, this isn't a riot, this is a peaceful protest!

No. Where are you going?

Excuse me, sir. Please, if you would not put out this fire...

Taco!

So, instead, let me leave you with a small token of our time together.

Left to fend for herself in an empty house, Miranda tries to win back Uncle Jim and Patrick. Bethany sets out on a biblical adventure.

You're upset that I knocked your toothbrush in the trash can again?

I was clearly ringing for Bethany.

No, Miranda, you can't come in my house.

But I couldn't really understand what he was saying,

It seems like someone would like to give someone an apology

the producer of a show on Broadway called Wrap Party.

Okay, Miranda. Legends are better than real.

All the loose change! This is the Broadway fund!

- Oh, excuse you! - Oh, sorry.

No need to read it over.

Twenty-one hundred and thirty...

I'm serious.

Enjoy your stay and have fun.

[MAN ON RECORDING] I am David, a lowly shepherd boy who took down

Okay, everyone, big smiles for Jesus. We all know what happens next.

Judas, I'm going to need you looking a lot more guilty.

Right. Okay, uh...

And what I'm realizing is that myself wants a big family portrait.

What you think about that?

You're supposed to stick it to the wall and make a thingy out of it!

Now. Perfect.

We don't take, uh, credit cards made of heavy paper here.

Don't mess this up for me!

- Um... - [ATTENDANT] Thank you, sir.

And if you stop me, it'll all be for nothing!

I'm, like, your biggest fan. I watch you on YouTube!

she doesn't have very good street smarts, and...

No. My daughter needs me.

I was wondering if you could make that go away as well?