Aired 16 years ago - May 18, 2000
Monica struggles to decide between Richard and Chandler. Meanwhile, Rachel and Phoebe discuss their backup plans if they are not married before the time they're 40.
Have you guys seen Chandler?
-You don't really believe that.
-Sure, I do.
And that's just an ordinary pig,
not even a pig that's good at sports.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What is all this pressure?
Like if neither of them are married
by 40, they marry each other.
-You know Chandler.
-No, I don't know Chandler.
Richard said he wants to marry you?
You got that from what I said?
Thanks. Yeah, I really thought
we'd be able to make it work.
I mean, we know each other,
we like each other. . .
Although, believe me,
she wanted to do a lot more than that.
And I would have if these damn
boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off!
Look, us getting our asses kicked
is not a solution.
That coconut phone
might be good for the boat.
I'll just leave the door open
and go sit on the couch.
No. That's art.
How could you do this to me?
Remember my promise:
I should be with a grownup, you know?
I need to be with someone
who wants the same things.
Or Chandler wanting to marry me now.
I don't know.
Well, all right, one thing happened.
I'm willing to offer her those things.
This was just a plan.
This isn't fair.
And can I give you a piece of advice?
I hate that.
-She had a bag and she left.
But if I were you, I would.
You wanted it to be a surprise.
Chandler. . .
There's a reason why
girls don't do this!
. . .what I said or where I said it.
Aired 16 years ago - May 18, 2000
Chandler plans to propose to Monica at dinner, but his plans go awry when Richard shows up. Phoebe and Joey join Rachel at a charity auction.
Thought you were making jokes.
I had no idea.
See, now he could date her.
What's going on, little elves?
Will you guys get out of here?
This is a surprise.
What's going on?
They lay the stuff here.
You write down your offer.
This is Phoebe.
Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson.
Guys are throwing water balloons.
-Who drank all the kamikazes?
-Nobody. We put them in here!
-Put your balloons down!
-You put your balloons down!
It goes to Emil Alexander
with a high bid of $2300.
Gentleman's Daysailer sailboat.
Joey, it is an auction.
You don't guess. You buy!
I'm a little cold.
Can I have your jacket?
Yes. I'm fine.
Well, my nose got lonely.
Your contribution brings us. . .
I can't buy the boat.
I don't have any money.
-So I think I'm gonna take off now.
-You can't leave, Joey!
I hid in the shower,
next thing you know. . .
It's so great seeing you guys again.
I'd like to make a toast.
I thought you were going out.
I finally see what you were talking
about. I don't know what to do.
No, I didn't do that.
It's just. . . .
. . .you may not get married
at all this year.
Hello. This is your
lucky day, Mr. Bowmont.
I was actually relieved
I didn't win the boat.
The Mr. Bowmont.
You get back to nature.
You can go fishing.
But, Joey, you don't have $20,000!
I want to see what's in your hand,
I was gonna surprise her tomorrow.
Now you've ruined it.
This is terrible.
What am I gonna do?
Had to go to the basement. . .
Did ljust make a huge mistake?
Breakup's still on.
Aired 16 years ago - May 11, 2000
Chandler and Phoebe shop for a ring for Monica. Chandler finds the perfect one but Phoebe accidentally lets it get away. Rachel wants Paul to open up, but he opens up a bit too much. Ross and Joey think that Chandler's mad at them because he's preoccupied with the ring.
Aired 16 years ago - May 04, 2000
While visiting an art museum, Monica puts her name on a two-year waiting list to use the museum for a wedding. When Paul threatens to fire Ross if he doesn't stop seeing his daughter, Ross and Elizabeth take a trip up to her dad's mountain cabin. Unfortunately, Paul has the same idea and takes Rachel up to the cabin.
Aired 17 years ago - Apr 27, 2000
Ross asks his friends to keep him company when he meets Elizabeth's dad for the first time. Paul ends up hitting it off with Rachel. Phoebe decides to write "another" book, about Monica and Chandler. Joey may be fired from his sitcom when he has a fight with C.H.E.E.S.E.'s operator.
This is Wayne, the man who created
and operates C.H.E.E.S.E.
Nice to meet you, Mac.
Sorry. It doesn't look like
it can do anything.
This is my father, Paul Stevens.
Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Why can't you get a girlfriend
your own age?
Okay. I'll give you one chance
to change my mind.
I want you to know,
I have never done anything like this before.
Okay. A joke. Lighten the mood.
I 'd like you to meet my friends.
This is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Unfortunately, Lizzie's mom passed away
shortly after she was born.
And you guys can talk about
whatever you want.
Monica is Ross' sister.
Your roommate in college died, didn't he?
Ross is so great!
And how people will believe anything
you tell them as long as it's a compliment.
Maybe you could date him then.
It would save me the trouble of killing him.
What I meant was are you still "we"
or are you just you?
Why don't you get him fired?
The thing is, it's kind of on the q.t.
You did. You came in, got all awkward
and ran to the bedroom.
You know, he lost his keys.
So he was looking for them.
What's the big deal? So I kissed the guy?
There's a million guys
out there who can play Mac...
Fine. Then you know what?
I will just write about Phyllis.
I love this little guy.
I definitely did not see that one backfiring.
It's partly because
I'm very protective of Lizzie...
...as I'm sure you are with your wife.
The only way that I said 6:00...
Well, actually I know what time
Chester and Marsha said.
I will tell you as soon as you thank me
for writing my book.
I told you I should not wear this color.
Instead of telling us, you decided
to write it in your stupid book?
Help me get this mini-fridge
past the security guard.
Joey, I'll get you your job back
if you help me out.
Her. All of them. Anyone.
Well, if you think about it...
Aired 17 years ago - Apr 13, 2000
Joey gets an audition for the lead character in a new TV show. When the audition is rescheduled, Chandler takes the message but forgets to tell Joey. Then the group recalls some of Joey's less-than-spectacular acting moments.
Well, Eva, we've done
some excellent work here.
"A thing through which you can tinkle
This is a real movie and AI Pacino's in it,
and that's big!
So, you gonna invite us all
to the big opening?
-Yeah, did I fool ya?
What are you doing?
No offense, but what you guys all do
is very different.
Don't. I like it dirty.
You sure they haven't gone bad?
You sure they're not very, very bad?
Monica, I'm quitting. I just helped
an 81-year-old woman put on a thong...
It was a simple mistake.
It could happen to anyone.
What about my allergies?
What are you talkin' about?
The audition's not 'til 5:00.
The allergy guy got the part. Thanks.
-I have a machine!
-Which I bought for ya.
The eyesore from
the "Liberace House of Crap! "
When you were late last night,
Kathy and I got to talking and...
"Over the line?"
Man! He promised
he wouldn't take the chairs!
Man, if I ever run into that guy again,
you know what I'm gonna do?
And what did you bring?
...then he ran his hand up my leg
and then there was definite....
I hope there aren't any messages
you've forgotten to give me, are there?
You know what? He will forgive you.
...which yesterday you took
full responsibility for!
And you had rambled on for 18 pages.
-You sold me out!
-I did not sell you out!
-All right. No, let's not do this.
All right. Now, I will let go
if you both stop.
Maybe if I wasn't going "commando".
"All by myself
No, Joey's not here right now,
but I can take a message. I think.
-They needed to see you at 2:00.
-What? It's 6:00!
You might say, "Congratulations! "
Aired 17 years ago - Mar 23, 2000
Phoebe and Monica & Chandler compete to get Rachel a date for a charity ball. Joey's fridge is broken and he tries to cajole his friends into helping him buy a new one. Elizabeth tells Ross her intention to visit Daytona Beach for spring break, making him nervous.
Yes. Her molecular epidemiology paper
is due tomorrow.
-I like Elizabeth.
She's 20, so she's not looking for anything
too serious, which is perfect for me now.
I just thought of the perfect guy
for Rachel to take.
My guy is a lawyer
who does volunteer work.
"Our" new fridge?
Yes, of course.
What would this be regarding?
So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints.
I could do that.
What the hell are you doing?
So, I'm sorry, I just don't think
we should go away together yet.
I think you misunderstood
what I was saying.
She just wanted to tell me that
she's going to Florida for spring vacation.
You know what?
Not all spring breaks are like that.
All right? Come on, she's taking my class.
What? I read that.
Yes, we found you a really cute
and funny guy from Chandler's work.
-Here you go.
Now, is that the kind of guy
you want to take to a ball?
You might even end up with someone
really special. If you pick my guy.
Phoebe, there you are!
Okay, you broke my fridge.
She is gonna have a great time!
You know who knows how to party?
Drunk college chicks.
Look, I don't know if your plans
are finalized yet, but...
Supportive of you and this whole trip...
We're so glad you decided to meet our guy.
You're gonna like him so much.
A little blind-sided, but, you know, good.
You're too late,
because she's already with our guy.
Believe me, this suit does not do justice
to what's underneath it.
No. Have a seat!
Eldad is much more cooperative
and he can dance.
I'll tell you who should be embarrassed.
It's you guys. This is ridiculous!
And you really do have very soft hair.
Aired 17 years ago - Mar 09, 2000
Ross gets his student evaluations and one student writes that he's hot. Even though it could cost him his job, he considers dating her. An ex-girlfriend of Chandler's from college is directing the new Al Pacino movie and Joey wants an audition. A
fire starts in Phoebe and Rachel's apartment, forcing them to find temporary living spaces with Monica and Joey.
-Come on, we gotta go!
-Yeah, come on.
You were very generous
with your grades this semester.
I'm a little embarrassed about
calling you a "hottie. "
Oh, because I was thinking,
the semester's over.
-Joey! He's working.
My bed, my clothes.
Look at my favorite sweater.
But if you give me your number,
I'll call you sometime.
-Do you light candles, burn incense?
-Yes, I do all the time. I love them!
It's great to catch up.
I can't believe how long it's been.
When's my audition?
I know it's Thursday, but what time?
Yeah, he calls me up and asks me
if he can edit my new movie.
Man, I mean, not even
a cup of coffee first.
And that's where the napkin is.
Oh. I had trouble remembering names,
so I came up with nicknames.
-We determined the cause of the fire.
-I know. It was my candle, my candle!
-It could've been a hair-straightener.
Yeah. It's very not good
leaving candles unattended.
We had such a great time.
Well, not really. Technically,
it's not against the rules.
-Yeah. What should I do?
-Well, it seems pretty clear.
Any reason I should leave a block
of time open? Say, Thursday?
Oh, no, no, stay!
Because you should stay.
I'm sorry, Chandler.
You know, you're such a sweet guy. . .
-Maybe there is one thing you can do.
-What? Anything. Anything.
. . .would it be possible for him to
audition for your movie on Thursday?
But not in here! Can't eat them
in bed, remember? No crummies!
-What are you doing?
-Nothing, I'm so comfortable with you.
You're right, this is stupid.
Who cares what people think?
Aren't you in my popular culture
Yeah, okay, I need to talk to you.
That's right. All the ladies
want to stay at Joey's.
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 24, 2000
Joey needs money for new headshots, and tries to enter a medical study. The only problem is that the study is for twins. Rachel and Phoebe are taking a self-defense class, but Ross tries to give them a lesson in Unagi instead. Chandler needs a homemade present for Monica's Valentine's Day present.
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 17, 2000
Carol and Ross decide to have a threesome to spice up their marriage. Rachel goes to Joey's and kisses him. Chandler and Monica have sex and end up together anyway. Susan meets Carol. Rachel catches Barry cheating.
Um, can I use your bathroom?
I hope you're hungry.
When we were studying
- I love what you've done with this space.
- Thank you so much. Heh.
...tonight was supposed to be,
you know, a big deal.
No, you're not.
You are sweet and wonderful...
...they always tell me what to say.
If... If! If we did do this,
there'd be a lot of pressure on me.
Well, if it helps, there were only three.
Do you have any, uh, moves?
- What if I turn out the lights?
Oh, my God!
He actually saw you a little bit too.
That's right, I'm a married woman.
Rachel, will you stop saying that?
Oh, my God!
They let you keep that stuff?
...and with me.
Phoebe, come on!
So? Was it amazing?
...my part seemed to be over
- You don't want that.
- What'd you have?
- Just a sandwich.
- Oh, no, wait a minute, that was you.
I remember a time...
I'll bet he can.
- What are you doing here?
- All better. Back to work.
- Anyway, I'll be in my office.
- Ah, heh.
Pesos! Yen! Rubles!
You make one little mistake...
- I'm having another heart attack!
- Is Joey Tribbiani here?
- Um, no.
But you know who's not great?
...bam, there you are in bed
with the neighbor's dog-walker?
- Didn't you spend last night at Joey's?
- Oh, what are you, a detective?
There are some men
who will stand by and watch...
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 17, 2000
Barry and Mindy's impending divorce prompts the gang to fantasize about what their lives might be like if they'd all taken different courses. Ross is still married to Carol, and Rachel is married to Barry, but fawning over famous soap star Joey
Tribbiani. Monica is still fat and dating a doctor. Chandler is an aspiring writer and Phoebe is a Wall Street shark for Merrill Lynch.
Good. Good, I'm married.
-I would love to.
-She'd be so excited.
You know, the hazelnut,
actually not a nut.
Another rejection letter.
Was his question,
"What's more boring than him?"
-TV stars have assistants, right?
-That's an idea.
Since I don't need assistance
in there, take a break!
Mon, look who I ran into!
I played you one of my songs.
"Interplanetary Courtship Ritual. "
-Rach, he's a friend of ours.
-You're friends with Drake Ramoray?
It's always nice to meet fans.
Hang on. Hang on.
You can pick your own last name.
No, no! No!
-All right, now my chest hurts.
Honey, a heart attack is nature's
way of telling you to slow down.
You should consider writing for
Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.
How long has it been since
you've had sex?
Dirty talk, ménage à trois, toys.
It never happened.
-Hey, old man!
Okay, you watch too much TV.
I guess I just like the pulp.
Show dad how you
put your shoes on in your room.
What if we were to. . .
You know, we could try dirty talk.
You're a published writer.
I wish I had a present.
Chandler, I know you're mad.
Anyway, I just wanted to say
I'm sorry, and here.
You wouldn't care.
It's just a stupid comic book story.
And I'm one of them.
You know, I just wish we could be,
like, on a break.
Louder. I don't think
the guy in the back heard.
Oh, my God, do it!
Honey, you've waited long enough.
Rachel. I'll never think it's
okay to cheat on your husband.
Put the cigarette out.
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 10, 2000
Chandler admits that he hasn't cried since he was a child. Phoebe discovers that Ursula is starring in porno movies using her name. Rachel desperately tries to stop Ross and Jill from starting a relationship.
After tomorrow night.
-This is my favorite part.
Well, that I can see crying
over, but Bambi is a cartoon.
I don't know what I was thinking.
What if the puppy said,
"Help me, Chandler.
No! It's not okay!
My biggest fan?
I've always wanted to meet you.
Oh. You're Phoebe's fan.
No, it was. She was in
Sex Toy Story Two...
Well, I wouldn't call her a star,
but she's really good.
You don't want him,
but you don't want me to?
I'm not telling you what to do.
I am telling you what not to do!
Well, you just blew your chances
at dating Bob!
Did you get a movie?
"Phoebe Buffay in
Buffay The Vampire Layer. "
Then I pretended that I didn't
know he was in there.
I guess it makes sense.
She had such a terrible childhood.
-Maybe a bit.
-The first half?
That's weird. Phoebe doesn't--
You hate this kind of stuff.
. . .and you don't cry, so what?
I won't worry
about this anymore then.
. . .and you still can't shed
one tiny tear?
They've really taken a liking to me.
Maybe I'll call him and see
if he's seen her--
Look, I'm talking right now.
You mean her. Oh.
And shame on all of you!
There's wine in the kitchen.
She's making something happen
with you to get back at me.
I think I can take care of myself.
I'll talk to you later. Goodbye.
And I won't have to
go back there anymore. . .
I'll give you a hint. From porn!
I knew it! What happened?
You just don't. Look at us
right now, not kissing!
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 03, 2000
Joey gets in trouble for giving female customers free food at Central Perk. A sick Monica desperately tries to convince Chandler that she's not sick. After her father cuts her off, Rachel's sister Jill comes to town. Rachel talks Jill into asking
Ross out. Ross and Jill return to his apartment and he closes the drapes as Rachel looks on from Monica and Chandler's...
- Hi. -And that's Phoebe,
and that's Joey.
- Daddy cut me off.
- Never mind, I got it.
Yeah, but it wasn't for me,
it was for a friend.
- Oh. Sorry.
This is my "Please hire me" sweater.
I don't think Rachel's gonna think
it's a good idea.
- Yeah, we went shopping.
- Yeah, we went shopping. Yeah.
I got, um, this, you know,
"I want a job" sweater.
No, of course.
Of course I've heard of them.
I invented that.
But I'm just gonna take the pashmina.
Well, how about you with the:
But, you know, if I'm going to bed,
then you're coming with me.
I can't have sex with a sick person either.
I was with Ross and Jill after you left...
With my sister Jill
and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
Oh, my God, and they're gonna have sex.
Oh, no. What if he marries her too?
Oh, my God, this is just the worst thing
that could've ever happened to me.
Happy birthday to you
Hey, you know
who doesn't have to job-hunt?
...said she, you know, thought she saw
something between you guys.
is there something wrong with Ross?
What, handsome is not your type?
Yeah, but he's not your type.
...who tried too much too fast,
What is it, honey?
You need some tea? Some soup?
How could I be asleep
knowing that you were in the next room?
Come on, get into bed.
I wanna prove that I'm not sick.
Happy birthday to you
Hey, if you ever wanna go out with Monica,
you have my blessing.
Okay, fine, I admit it. I feel terrible.
So you're just kind of rubbing it
It's all very, very good.
What about your rule
about never sleeping with sick people?
Aired 17 years ago - Jan 13, 2000
Chandler and Ross fight over ownership of a joke published in Playboy. A wayward remark of Phoebe's leads to trouble between the girls and a broke Joey starts working at Central Perk.
Want to see if the joke stealer
will let us watch at his place?
-What are you doing?
-Looking at a Playboy.
So she rides naked on the horse,
she's crying out, "Where are they?"
"Barracuda" was the first song
I learned to play on the keyboard.
You didn't get it?
Which is why he sent me a check. . .
-I'm not gonna go now.
Plus, you get to stare at Rachel
as much as you want.
Know what else Ross did?
He stole my joke.
Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing
into my brain to steal my thoughts.
-Hey, you guys.
-It was kind of funny.
-It wasn't funny at all!
That is completely untrue.
-I cannot believe her.
-I know. Where do you want to eat?
Yeah, that Chandler cracks me up.
You need anything?
I'm heading up there.
And put on your apron.
I mean, the job's easy
and the money's good, you know?
It doesn't seem that weird.
2: 1 5, coffeehouse.
And if anyone is ever rude to you,
Seriously, can I get my coffee?
So, maybe I am
a little high maintenance.
So, what, you're just okay
with being flaky?
I'm flaky. I'll say anything.
All right, everybody listen up!
That's the most important thing
in the world.
. . .then you decide which one of us
is telling the truth. Me.
You shouldn't argue
over who gets credit.
Why don't you tell them. . .
And what may be perceived
as high maintenance. . .
Wait, he came up with that himself.
Look, I'm sorry, but you're not--
. . .maintaining you.
Aired 17 years ago - Jan 06, 2000
Rachel orders an apothecary table from Pottery Barn, which is a problem because Phoebe hates the mass-producing company. After Janine and Joey double date with Chandler and Monica, Janine tells Joey that she thinks the other two are boring. Ross
buys a new apothecary table too, which causes problems for Rachel. After a confrontation with Monica and Chandler, Joey breaks up with Janine and she moves out.
Aired 17 years ago - Dec 16, 1999
Joey is beginning to like Janine more. She gets an invitation to dance on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" and invites Joey, Monica and Ross to join her. Monica and Ross are a little TOO happy. While Monica is at the taping, Rachel, Phoebe and Chandler search for their Christmas presents. Joey and Janine kiss.
They said to bring someone.
Want to be my dance partner?
Not a lot of people know that.
Yeah, but she also invited
you and Ross.
I can say, "It wasn't me,
it was New Year's. "
We are going to Dick Clark's
New Year's Rockin ' Eve!
It's a show, but we're just dancing.
It's no big deal.
So when is it gonna air?
-You can't look for Monica's presents.
-We have to.
Oh, that's it?
A great idea? Oh, yeah?
We have a live one!
-No. Never do that.
They've been taping them all day.
You're dancing with her.
Chandler, what is this very weird
metal A-Z thing?
By the way, I think it's really nice
of you that even after you moved. . .
Hey, dancing girl?
That snippy guy's the one who
decides who gets on the platform.
Look, you dating this girl
you came with?
Hey, man. You're the one
who wet his pants.
I know what'll get us up
on a platform.
We got honorable mention in the
brother/sister dance category!
What's the matter with you? Go!
Happy No Year!
Hey, look who I found.
Come on, show us where
the presents are.
-And the big one's for me!
-Oh, let's open them!
We have to put them back.
This isn't what Christmas is about.
So, please, please, can we just. . .?
Can we put them back?
Do you know how long it took me
to find you that water purifier?
Plus, we know how the New Year's
gonna go off.
. . .I was really, really disappointed,
and I just. . . .
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 25, 1999
Monica's parents come for Thanksgiving, which is a problem because, not only do they not like Chandler, they don't know where he's living. Rachel makes a dessert--with beef. Phoebe develops a crush on Mr. Geller. Joey and Ross can't wait for dinner to end so they can go to Janine's "Thanksgiving with models".
Wow. That sounds great!
And what are you making, Monica?
If I mess this up,
there's nothing else for dessert?
-The food smells great, Mon.
-And the place looks so nice.
the really hot dancer girl?
. . .what it meant to be hot
in the New World!
It is great to have you here.
Let us take your coats.
I dreamt that he saved me
from a burning building. . .
I don't know. To me,
he'll always be "Jack Geller. . .
I always thought that too.
Tell me, what does your father do?
It's a trifle.
It's got all these layers.
These people just put
strange things in their food.
Oh, my God. She made
half an English trifle and. . .
Yeah. It'll be like
a funny Thanksgiving story.
Rachel. Okay, look at him.
Yes, well, it's very beautiful and
it's cream-colored and tight and. . . .
We haven't told them we're together
because they hate me, so fix this.
And that they're gonna
be drinking a lot?
Just let me worry about making it,
and you just worry about eating it.
We'll just get everyone
to act like they like it.
Hey, Rach, can I talk to you
outside for a sec?
The holiday season is upon us.
No, just kidding.
I would never do that to you.
Monica, I want you
to have the first taste.
It's so good that I feel selfish. . .
Maybe Chandler has some left.
So I went to a nightclub
and I saw him making out with a girl.
About telling Mom and Dad. . .
. . .it was me. I'm sorry.
Ross hasn't worked
at the museum for a year!
I wasn't supposed
to put beef in the trifle!
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 18, 1999
Ross bleaches his teeth for a date with Monica's coworker. The only problem is that they now glow in the dark. Chandler convinces Joey that Janine is trying to take over his apartment. Phoebe makes out with the copy guy at Rachel's office. Rachel spreads rumors about Phoebe but her boss thinks that Rachel slept with Ralph Lauren.
Maybe it's a universal thing.
I was making copies,
and Ralph Lauren came in.
The next thing I know,
we're making out!
That's what I was afraid of. Okay. . . .
Joey, it's Anne Geddes.
She's a famous artist.
You know, you got the candles and
the "foofy schmoofer" thing here.
Tonight is your date with Hillary.
Yes, I saw them from outside.
. . .it's the best gossip
she's heard all year.
"Phoebe, I love you.
Kiss me, please. "
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
The date starts in an hour.
Hello? Ross, could you put up
some of these flyers for me?
You know what?
I'm gonna go over to Joey's.
I just feel like I need
to be in a "guy" place. . .
Well, it turns out that's not true.
. . .sleeping with Ralph is not
gonna get you my job.
You could cut the sexual tension
in here with a knife.
You're a really great listener.
You've got a picture of a baby
dressed like flowers!
You're turning into a woman.
What if Kenny were the real brains
behind the whole company?
The only thing you can do.
Sleep with him.
Are you gonna eat that bread?
Maybe I'll just turn down
the lights a little?
Yes. They're insanely white.
But he said,
"And you will never get promoted. . .
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 11, 1999
Rachel and Phoebe decide to start running together, but Rachel is thrown off by the fact that Phoebe runs like a four-year-old. Joey finds a sexy new female roommate. Chandler decides to surprise Monica by cleaning the apartment, but forgets where everything goes. Ross tries to help him fix the apartment before Monica gets home.
Did you interview her
before you asked her to move in?
. . .how horrible it was when you
bumped into her at the supermarket?
Well, that's gonna be tough, Mon.
I have to tie my shoes, so you
go ahead. I'll catch up.
. . .and the Six Million Dollar Man.
Pheebs, Monica tripped me. I don't
think I can ever run again, ever!
Okay. I am officially unpacked.
I've got this built-up flirting energy,
and I don't know how to get rid of it.
No, you just reminded me
that I have to do my stretches too.
I'm gonna hit the shower.
Please, I'm not an idiot.
So, Mondler. . . .
Yes. I'm gonna put it back
exactly where I found it.
Actually, this will work out well.
Oh, my God.
She's going to sit on you.
-You're just hanging out with Ross?
-It's all good! Okay, bye!
That'll be the easiest.
Let's start with the couch.
We move the couch
closer to the coffee table.
Monica's gonna kill you!
Remember when we went to a dance. . .
They don't like it when you
keep asking them if they like you.
Phoebe, I just wanted to say
I'm sorry, okay?
Well, the reason I didn't
want to go running with you is. . .
Yes, but still they are people. . .
What? I am not uptight.
Didn't you ever run so fast
you thought your legs would fall off. . .
Who cares? I repel women.
. . .a "guy" problem.
We've got to get everything
back into its original place.
I've got some beer for you.
Is something wrong?
. . .and it's a huge mistake
for us to continue down this road.
How you doing?
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 04, 1999
Chandler and Monica are moving in with each other, which means Rachel is moving in with Phoebe and Joey will be without a roommate. Meanwhile Ross doesn't want to help with the packing so he stays at home with Ben, or so they think. Joey doesn't know how to live by himself, so Chandler decides to "lose" money to him in various games.
Of course I'm packed.
What you're wearing is fine
I am lousy at packing, right?
Everybody has to help.
Phoebe, can you help?
Now, it's too late for me,
but save yourselves!
Fine. Now, Ross--
I wish I knew that.
I ordered Chinese.
. . .China, apparently.
we said we were gonna have fun.
This doesn't have to be so sad,
though, you know?
does Rachel move the phone pen?
It doesn't count if you have to
read them off your hand. . .
Give me a chance to win my money back.
Sudden death. . .
Okay, talk to you later.
I wash the toilets 1 7 times a day,
even if people are on it! "
"Oh, my God! I love Ross. I hate
Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross! "
There are other ways to win back
your money. How about blackjack?
It needs to go about 20 blocks
to the left.
Really? How come all your
stuff is in this box?
I'm just mad.
Now, after you receive the doubling
bonus, you get one card.
I'm just gonna label it
"What were you thinking?"
Good start, Mon.
. . .she covers me with a blanket.
You made it so easy.
Bring Monica, and we'll live together!
We'll have so much fun!
Yeah, it's a pumpkin. I'll come pack.
What if I bought it from you?
You tried to give me charity,
I said no, you dropped it.
You gotta get it out of your head
that I can't take care of myself.
Aired 17 years ago - Oct 21, 1999
The gang is mad at Ross. Joey tries to find the owner of a Porsche who left their keys in Central Perk. Monica and Chandler agree to baby-sit Frank and Alice's triplets for Phoebe. Rachel decides to move in with Phoebe. The Porsche owner finds Joey.
Rachel and Ross see the judge. Rachel's allegations are untrue, so the annulment can't be granted. Joey buys Porsche clothes. Chandler gets a toy stuck in his throat and goes to the hospital with Monica, leaving Phoebe alone with the mischievous triplets. Rachel and Ross sign divorce papers.
What about me? Denise is leaving town
for a while. I don't have a roommate.
-How long is Denise gone for?
-She said she'd be back December 26th.
Okay, I got us a court date
for tomorrow at 2. . .
Oh, I am so mad, Ross! I don't think
I've ever been this angry!
No. You sound like me.
Pheebs, when you're done over there,
we've got a situation over here too.
Mon, be in charge of diapering.
. . .and carnauba wax
and polishing compound.
Yeah, she tops out at 1 30.
I don't know if you're crazy or
if this is some street theater. . .
. . .and why Frank and Alice complain.
This is easy.
I thought about it, and maybe you're
right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
This whole time we were
concentrating on the babies. . .
. . .that "Mr. Geller
is mentally unstable. "
Crack isn't even an intravenous drug.
Well, that makes sense since
you're gay and addicted to heroin.
That won't be necessary.
Is there anything in this record
that is actually true?
That's great. You happy? Look what
you did with your funny, funny form.
"Stop typing, stop typing! "
Only an idiot would wear this stuff
if he didn't have the car.
You can't leave me with them.
We're a team.
-I think that's gum.
-I'm pretty sure it's gun.
Maybe because you've got the keys?
Hi. How are the Gellers?
It's "Porsche-a" !
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
I just have to clean that up.
Well, you can't answer.
Leslie? Where are you, Leslie?
Well, it'll dry.
Is not as important as the fact
that Phoebe took care of the babies.
Aired 17 years ago - Oct 14, 1999
Rachel prepares to move in with Ross. Ross is asked to give a lecture at NYU. Phoebe's psychic tells her that she will die before the end of the week. Ross practices his lecture for the gang but it's really boring. Joey's SAG health insurance has
lapsed due to his lack of work. Ross's lecture goes well, without jokes or "naked chicks". Joey gets a hernia working out for auditions. Rachel and Monica discover that Ross is interesting because he uses a British accent. Joey won't go to the hospital and Phoebe's psychic dies instead of her. Ross's lawyer calls for him and Rachel talks to him, discovering that they're still married.
Aired 17 years ago - Oct 07, 1999
Monica and Chandler disagree over how to redecorate Rachel's old room. Joey advertises for a "non ugly" roommate. Ross is unwilling to accept that he is still in love with Rachel.
Okay, but be careful. Rachel's not
in the same place you are.
I think we should have
a beautiful guest room. . .
I was thinking maybe. . .
maybe it could be a game room.
"What an interesting idea. Let's
discuss it before we reject it. "
Which is why Asteroids is
perfect. It's the oldest game.
I figured it'd be more interesting
to have a female roommate.
Anything I can afford comes with
a roommate who is a freak. Look.
He's got this great place he needs
to sublet. You interested?
This is great. I'm gonna
call him right now! Thank you!
You love her again. You re-love her.
I'll never find anything.
I'm just glad I could help you out.
Hero? I don't know.
Well, all right.
No. No, I won't.
Okay, that's a lie.
No, not that I think I have you. . .
Great idea. We can easily think of
a way for us both to enjoy the room.
We'll have to move some
furniture to make room for my chair.
It is not my fault your
chairs are incredibly ugly.
Will your friends be over here,
partying and hanging out?
Ignore him. He's just some
guy who wants the apartment.
Over a stupid room?
That is so silly.
Tell her to stop being silly.
. . .as you've been
since you got together.
But we also have a soft spot
for the love.
No, I'm staying put.
Monica and Chandler are
moving in again.
. . .but don't you think
it'll be weird?
It would only be weird
if we were still in "that place. "
"Come back later.
I'm getting lucky. "
It's a really big step.
And what's the rush?
You start fighting over game rooms.
Next thing you know, you break up.
-I'm not so worried.
Oh, my God!
Someone's killed Square Man!
I thought we could get one of those
signs and hang it over our bed.
How'd you wind up there?
Well, Monica and Chandler
Are you sure? Once I make
a copy, there's no turning back.
Well, maybe you should go back.
Aired 17 years ago - Sep 30, 1999
Monica and Chandler decide to move in together, leading Rachel to believe that all three of them will be roommates, and Monica doesn't want to tell her the truth. Meanwhile, Ross tries to keep Rachel from learning that their marriage hasn't been annulled.
I'm really happy for you guys.
Congratulations. See you later.
If you're gonna move in with him. . .
That's great. That's great.
If you see her, give her some really
bad news, so mine doesn't seem so bad.
It's not that big a deal.
You'll have been divorced three times.
Ross, you're being ridiculous.
You are cute and smart and sweet.
This embarrassment thing is
all in your head.
Well, I still think you're
very, very nice and very pretty.
Yes, we are.
A little my fault.
And you, wouldn't you want to date?
It's just that he's obviously
still in love with this Rachel girl.
I'll go to my lawyer's office right now
and get this marriage annulled.
Of course, you're my best friend.
I wasn't clear.
Don't you want a cookie?
. . .about our feelings and the future.
She didn't cry.
She wasn't angry or sad.
I mean, did we not have as much fun?
Don't I deserve a few tears?
I have been a divorce attorney
for 23 years. . .
. . .at the altar
in the second marriage?
I think just the annulment for today.
There's no way to do this without her?
Mon, you're not dying.
I'm just moving out.
I'm fine. I was thinking about
how it's an end of an era.
I mean, it's you guys.
You do this kind of stuff, you know?
Chandler will move in here.
Aired 17 years ago - Sep 23, 1999
Ross and Rachel experience the world’s worst hangover when they realize they’ve gotten married. Chandler and Monica back away from their own altar plans. Phoebe and Joey head back to New York in the taxi cab.
Then we didn't have sex.
Well, my movie has been
Are you asking me
to have a "frienaissance"?
Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
And who was gonna be your best man?
Don't say Ross. Do not say Ross.
Tell her she's not marriage material.
He's gonna think
I don't love him anymore.
Most people who marry
in Vegas are drunk.
Now, this one's free, right?
Because you paid for the first two.
You love divorce so much,
you're probably gonna marry it. . .
I know I love you.
We should leave it
up to fate again. I love you!
Hey, we got a shooter.
-I can't believe I rolled an eight.
-That was so unlikely.
Okay, you have 1 9 questions left.
Use them wisely.
We are switching, and
you are going to drive back.
I wanna rock 'n ' roll all night
Wow, this is so amazing.
I am not gonna be that guy.
. . .instead of checking the box "Miss,"
you check the box that says, "Mrs. "
And, as my wife, I think
you should grant me this favor.
Well, I told you not to walk. Here.
How could you pick up a hitchhiker?
I love the license plate game!
That's not fair. You know I can't
resist that beautiful voice.
So I will strive to stay awake
for as long as I know you.
. . .a kind of hot sandwich?
-You look like you're--
-Don't say it!
-I'm happy the way things are.
Then you'd be going back
and forth all the time.
Me asking is kind of a sign.
Go out and come back in!