Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 9

Aired 3 years ago - Mar 31, 2014

Ted finally finishes telling his kids the story of how he met their mother.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 1
And has she met you? No, she has not.
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[MIMICS E.T.] I'll be right here.
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Or, better yet, what if I see boobs?
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[SIGHS] Okay.
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- I'm not moving to Chicago. - Why?
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Hi. Um, listen, do you want to have dinner tomorrow night?
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So how are you guys doing? Robin's really taking off at work, huh?
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- What? What? Why? - Because when I do get married...
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- So, Marshall, how's yourjob going? - My chair is reasonably comfortable...
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- It was great. - It was great. It was great.
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- You guys do not need to pick sides. - Nothing has to change.
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We have to be here for the big moments.
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Yeah, I figured, people are thinking it, might as well steer into the skid, right?
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ROBIN: How do you do this, Ted?
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- I know you can't. - Challenge accepted.
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It's my ex-husband hitting on slutty cops right in front of me.
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There's so much wonderful stuff happening in all of our lives right now.
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- Dary. Legendary! Guys, the gang is back! We're back!
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...so I'm gonna be ajudge.
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Nay, family, because that's what we are, Ted, we are fam...
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- Really? - No, I'm just making a point. Move it along.
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- Someone's gotten a bit judge-y. - Oh!
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Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jim.
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Ah! Jim Nantz! Thank goodness.
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The sleek but historical facade has been described by Architecture Vision Monthly...
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Wow.
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...but I threw up and now I feel better.
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I'll give you guys a minute.
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I called your office, you got nothing on Thursday.
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Now that you're a dad, it's like you're a totally different pers...
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Yeah. Daddy's home.
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But I'm glad it was long and difficult...
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Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times...
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- You're Cindy's ex-roommate, right? - Yeah. And you are the professor.
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Uh, you're T.M., terribly mistaken...
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Aired 3 years ago - Mar 24, 2014

With only a half-hour to go, both Barney and Robin have panic attacks about their upcoming nuptials. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily rewrite their old wedding vows.

Aired 3 years ago - Mar 17, 2014

Gary Blauman shows up at Barney and Robin's wedding, sending the gang into a frenzy about which table to seat him at. Through their debate, they realize each of them either hates or loves Gary. Meanwhile, in the year 2014, Ted and The Mother go out on their first date.

Aired 3 years ago - Mar 10, 2014

Marshall enlists Ted and Barney to help him figure out where Lily went when she left in the middle of their fight.

Aired 3 years ago - Mar 03, 2014

On the morning of the wedding, Lily and Robin have a fight and Barney freaks out about which suit to wear. Meanwhile, the gang watches a movie Ted has forbidden them to see.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 1
This is how I relax.
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we switch to an activity that's more suited to somebody who's,
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Sounds cheesy. I'm gonna go barf forever and ever and ever.
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But those are super rare and the one I have is kind of lucky.
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God, you're gorgeous.
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This room belongs to Susan Tupp.
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Robin walks down the aisle, you wait at the end of it.
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Well, after careful consideration,
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where you and Barney had your first date.
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Robin,
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This is the best day of my life!
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Till I fixed it with the actual worst haircut ever.
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Mm, I don't know. I mean, she bailed on my scrapbook
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Smash? Oh, oh, oh, I-I guess a show's a smash now
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That is an authentic flail I won at the Renaissance fair.
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Oh, they're the best.
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I had my boy Timmy G make the perfect wedding suit.
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which of these other suits do I pick?
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Yes, the carpet matched the drapes.
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Though, I did once wear it to the Playboy holiday party
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With a woman who I then may or may not have paid.
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Yeah. Why was he hanging so much beef on this movie?
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And now to celebrate with that piece of chocolate cake
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That is insulting
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If Ted didn't want me to eat that cake,
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See my bouquet?
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surrounded by the very same wildflowers.
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No-can-do's-ville, baby doll.
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That's just not me. Fine.
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Fine.
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Hello.
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I hope you never stop spinning them.
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Life only moves forward.
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No!
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a problem, Robin? Of course it should be a problem.
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Fine! Fine!
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Although I might want to request a single. You'll make friends.
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All of this suit's memories are still ahead of it.
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She walks down the aisle,
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This is the one.
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Like, does no one care that I'm wearing this dress?
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Ted's leaving for Chicag...
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Lily's right.
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sometimes it's best...
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bride to see the groom in his wedding suit?
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Ah. I appreciate that, Narshall.
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Man, this was supposed to be my special day.
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Aired 3 years ago - Feb 24, 2014

When Barney suffers from the world’s worst hangover the morning of his wedding, the gang tries to figure out the far-fetched ingredients to concoct the Stinson Hangover Fixer Elixir.

Aired 3 years ago - Feb 03, 2014

Robin and Ted reminisce about past relationships as they search for a drunken Barney on the day of the wedding. Lily and Marshall come to a resolution. Barney befriends two men who are eager to meet women.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 1
you're calling the woman who left you at the altar
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This is not an argument you are gonna win.
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is that the ghost of Captain Dearduff,
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The truth is, there was a ghost in that room.
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So childish!
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I ran out because you brought up San Francisco.
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The journey to awesome
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Would getting killed really be so bad?
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A gentleman
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Your instinct is wrong.
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Number four, Zoey.
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But the pastry chef was the best.
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you guys were seven years in the making.
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For the next few years,
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You know, I think we're ready to go back to that party
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You-you broke up with Victoria
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Haven't talked to her since.
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...ight.
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I'll overnight it.
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Your wife signed for it.
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Has James Blunt put out
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can we get on with this
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about San Francisco and our breakup.
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And what point is that?
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In relaxed-fit domestic denim?
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Exhibit A.
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What's your name?
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Are you Jesus?!
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Ted, okay, I insist that you tell me why not.
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I know that it's not gonna change anything.
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Bro Hell sounds bad.
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Because I'm not gonna be there.
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That one, it doesn't look like a penis, anyway.
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Number four, boats, boats, boats.
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and apparently there's some chick named Victoria
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Now bring it back to me right now!
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I need everyone to just be quiet, please.
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Wait-- what?
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Oh, yeah, the Convincer right here!
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It's not like it'll happen all at once,
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You're not my enemy. You're my wife.
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I'm heading over to the East Side to stuff a dead squirrel
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Yes! How long have you been hung up on Robin?
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beyond all rationality and wanting them to have
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if I could just, you know, take the whole world's advice
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So, please, can I have the locket?
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I think we should get back together.
Aired 3 years ago - Jan 27, 2014

On the 200th episode, The Mother recounts how she met Ted and what she’s been up to for the past eight years.

Aired 3 years ago - Jan 20, 2014

When Barney drinks too much, Ted and Robin take advantage of him and get him to reveal secrets he’s been hiding for years. Meanwhile, Marshall does everything he can to avoid fighting with Lily.

Aired 3 years ago - Jan 13, 2014

In an attempt to deliver a devastating final slap to Barney, Marshall explains how he mastered the Slap of A Million Exploding Suns.

Aired 3 years ago - Dec 16, 2013

The gang encounters a guy at the wedding who intentionally stirs up trouble among them, and Marshall finally arrives at the Farhampton Inn.

Aired 3 years ago - Dec 02, 2013

Barney is shooting to have the rehearsal dinner at a laser-tag venue, while Lily is upset when Ted fails to live up to a promise.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 1
Seriously, Robin, doing it here in New York
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See? I compromised.
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what to get you guys for a wedding gift.
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It'll be great.
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Maybe took some ill-advised pictures.
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I lost thousands of dollars, and my best friend
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Wow, that sounds pretty cool.
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I'm so sorry.
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for reasons only you guys and Robin
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and they have to stop.
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Barney, the "no more surprises" thing
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You're absolutely right.
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Because it is an idiotic idea.
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Actually, just once, and...
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Damn it!
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Isn't that right, Theodore?
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Or do I have to get my face
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Lily, don't make me laugh.
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No, I shave it for him. Damn it!
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aren't you supposed to be dressed like Liberace right now?
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major...
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We're gonna "run out" of ice,
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free game tokens and an off-road arcade game
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Well, I guess I could go get some ice.
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Oh, babe, you're so good at this. I love it.
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I promise I won't leave.
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Ring bear-er!
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And what's this?
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Oh, so that's not traveling 'cause he's the MVP?
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But he promised! A promise is a promise.
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Marshall got picked to be a judge.
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So, Marshall can't go to Italy? Not if he wants to be a judge.
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That selfish bastard!
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That's sweet of you to say.
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into a vat of scalding nacho Whiz.
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Can we please get to the surprise laser tag rehearsal?
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Because he looks an awful lot like a non-Pakistani version
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And if you rearrange the letters and add some other ones,
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We-We can't have a marriage like this.
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Well, you're not. I'm here.
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Are you kidding?
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Marriage isn't about playing crazy pranks.
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Size six skate, right?
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You're gonna get bamboozled, hoodwinked.
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Where are we going?
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I know how much you wanted to be in Canada this weekend.
Aired 4 years ago - Nov 25, 2013

Marshall tries to get Marvin to sleep by reciting three rhyming bedtime tales about his friends as they wind down their epic cross-country journey.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 1
Oh, God, that could be true.
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is the border betwixt happiness and sorrow.
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Of baseball... Ted observed...
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For while the date side of the line's
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My first week in New York, I dated someone on the team.
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MARSHALL: And as she said...
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Just smile, be charming,
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to let a silly secret ruin such a lovely date.
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See? It worked.
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Forgive me, but before you got here, did you smoke a joint?
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Pumpkin picking at age three is the first thing I recall.
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No, Gael. Or Scooby?
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Um...
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as they clamor and cram it into the middle of a sentence
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Simon. Nice to see you.
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Had Simon blossomed finally?
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And as she tried to stammer some excuse
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For stealing someone's wedding cake is terribly bad juju.
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Oh, God, this is delicious!
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So how bad is the damage?
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I think I need to get out of this chair before I break it.
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You're Robin, and you're half a wedding cake away from glory!
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and be remembered for this
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as Ted and Mommy cheered
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Yeah. MARSHALL: Mom's exhortations rang
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No, III. No, II.
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(Southern accent): "My boy can eat 50 eggs " Right?
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But now that I have
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MARSHALL: And now that night's remembered not for Robin getting dumped
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I hate this stupid bus.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 34
things can't get worse, I swear.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 35
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when Mommy interrupted:
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 37
She's sipping Chardonnay, not pounding cherry-flavored booze.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 38
just like that jerk, LeBron.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 39
So many great things 'bout this girl: her boobs,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 40
The sign read 22nd Street, and my concern decreased
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 41
Of course. Now, hang on to your "chayers."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 42
The East Side
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 43
my East Side debutantes are quite verboten.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 44
My friend from Brooklyn, Pickle Jar Bob,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 45
Tuxedo Charlie's not the only one here who's been slighted.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 46
Thank you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 47
they're losing, you now must grant them each
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 48
Ladies, don't you worry,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 49
Let's toast before we all adjourn.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 50
Aired 4 years ago - Nov 18, 2013

When Barney’s father arrives at the hotel, Barney devises a plan that makes Robin very nervous. Meanwhile, Ted is convinced someone framed him by messing up a wedding-related duty.

Aired 4 years ago - Nov 11, 2013

In a flashback episode, the gang ponders the future of the Ted, Robin and Barney love triangle. Meanwhile, Barney accepts a series of challenges from Lily and Robin.

Aired 4 years ago - Nov 04, 2013

When Robin and Loretta's conflict escalates, Barney is caught in the middle. Meanwhile, Marshall and Daphne deal with a stowaway on their road trip, and Ted and Cassie try to enjoy a trip to a lighthouse.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 1
♪ Gonna make a deeper understanding ♪
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together at Geauga Lake.
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Thank you, Linus.
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Right, Loretta, because
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 5
Led Zeppelin?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 6
that she does not make the best scrambled eggs.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 7
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Does your mom put maple syrup on them?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 9
some delicious scrambled eggs.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 10
have a map to the lighthouse?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 11
Yeah, that's not happening.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 12
Yeah. So end up with her already.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 13
Pull your head out of your ass, Mosby.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 14
and fall in love with her
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 15
Do you want to just go to the stupid lighthouse?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 16
and crap all over my fun road-trip games.
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Hmm... nothing.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 18
Remember: happy wife, happy life.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 19
What do you think, Lily?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 20
if you could make some for them as well.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 21
Plus, Ted's mom wanted me out of the house.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 22
♪ Gonna resolve some conflicts
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 23
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She fits in a bathtub.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 25
A scramble-off to the death!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 26
So just do the damn trust falls.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 27
Really? Both of us?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 28
I'm tired of your beard and I'm tired
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 29
is gonna "fall" out of my son's butt.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 30
This is my career!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 31
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and looked at that girl, I felt something happen inside me,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 33
Never mind. I'll pre-scramble them. It's fine.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 34
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"The coffee maker has to stay in the office, Clint!"
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 36
I got to get my heart rate down. I'll... Ow! Pull over.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 37
God, I wish that existed.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 38
Okay, I am never getting on a mechanical bull again.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 39
so that's not an issue.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 40
No, it's not weird.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 41
Who means more to me than kids.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 42
downward-facing ass back in here so we can get going.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 43
and the Daphnes are taking care of Daphne.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 44
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You screwed up my whole world.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 46
Zitch dog, beagle in a Beetle.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 47
She, um, never got on the plane.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 48
It would mean the world to me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 49
Loretta...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 50
Your eggs are great, by the way.
Aired 4 years ago - Oct 28, 2013

When Daphne sends a troubling text message to Lily, Marshall enlists the gang’s help to remove the message while enforcing the “No Questions Asked” rule.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 1
We saw it fly out the neck hole.
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He brings with him the icy chill of death.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 3
Now, if there is anything wrong with your room
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 4
Why would a locked door keep a ghost out?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 5
Oh, that sucks.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 6
That might be a problem. Why?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 7
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You see, after Marshall got off the phone with Lily,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 10
And as we both know, you owe me a "No Questions Asked."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 11
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stop doing that joke after the editor
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 13
and, no big deal, I can totally climb it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 14
by bursting into his room with a chain saw and a hockey mask!
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Ted, I am not scared,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 16
you can sing me a version of Marvin's lullaby?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 17
Sorry. Sorry.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 18
So cold.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 19
All right, I'll take a lap dance.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 20
Wait, Marshall called you, too?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 21
Honestly, I think
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 22
Hey.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 23
find the utility closet on the third floor,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 24
Ha. You didn't wind up helping me, so it doesn't count.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 25
"Whoever signs me out is legally responsible for my actions."
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No... questions... asked.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 27
just like the bad guy in Die Hard.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 28
What is going on?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 29
Tell her, Ted.
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It says right here, room 13.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 31
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than to take a naked selfie
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 33
Well, it was more beast than trout.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 34
why they kept calling you Night Falcon
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 35
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broken lock, faulty Wi-Fi,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 37
Okay, we need to get to Lily's phone before she sees that text.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 38
Why do we do that? I don't know.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 39
They could build their little woodland den together.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 40
Point is, we're gonna make a great team.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 41
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Wait.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 43
She went up 20 minutes ago.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 44
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Uh, someone sent me a text.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 46
to do this no questions asked.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 47
put the cupcakes at the feet of their leader,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 48
Well, interesting that I was the one who fixed everything
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 49
I am saying I did not order room service.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 50
And Marshall thought back.
Aired 4 years ago - Oct 21, 2013

When Ted finds himself with three prospects to be his date for the wedding weekend, he chooses poorly. Meanwhile, Barney and Robin have a confrontation with their minister, and Marshall learns more about his driving companion, Daphne.

Aired 4 years ago - Oct 14, 2013

When Barney is forced to pick sides in a fight between Robin and his mother, Lily coaches him on how not to ruin his relationship. Meanwhile, Ted and Marshall get into a dispute over wedding gifts and thank-you notes.

Aired 4 years ago - Oct 07, 2013

While Barney works through his anger at Ted after finding out he still has feelings for Robin, Marshall Skypes in to act as a judge and help settle their dispute. Meanwhile, Lily realizes she is Robin’s only girlfriend.

Aired 4 years ago - Sep 30, 2013

When Lily discovers Ted’s list of things he wants to do in New York before he moves for Chicago, she becomes frustrated that she is the only person who knows about his plans. Meanwhile, Robin and Barney realize they have very little time together before their relatives arrive for their wedding.

Aired 4 years ago - Sep 23, 2013

When James reveals that he is getting divorced, Robin worries about how Barney will take the news. Meanwhile, Marshall races to find a way to get to New York in time for the wedding, and Ted deals with being alone at a romantic hotel.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 1
So you're gonna have to lose the whole Midwestern aw-shucksy-doodles thing...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 2
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My advice is rent a car and drive.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 4
- Sure. Thank you. - Oh, it's...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 5
Yeah, you just threw away your ticket
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 6
snacks, a James Patterson audio book
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 7
94 backs up around Allentown, so you're gonna want to stick on 80.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 8
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Yes! You want a gas option?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 10
That right there is why you lost.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 11
this car was a monstrosity.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 12
- Do you have anything else? - I'll take the Monstrosity.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 13
We're all out of baby seats. Get out of here.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 14
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Hundred bucks ought to cover it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 16
or a... a really flamboyantly dressed greyhound,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 17
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Wouldn't you agree, Comrade Barnovski?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 19
the only person I've ever been attracted to, ever.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 20
Wait, she's saying somethink!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 21
Okay, let's go, Smirnoff.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 22
Oh, hello there.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 23
an unquenchable thirst for booty
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 24
Although, sometimes Robin and I still use the shackles.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 25
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- it's nobody's fault. - You cheated on him.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 27
What is the matter with-- sorry, six-- you?!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 28
Really? The only couple?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 29
How cool is that?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 30
I mean, I'm sitting right here.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 31
His girlfriend is back home, but he gets gay at weddings.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 32
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Vince...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 35
Thank you, Linus.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 36
- What are you talking about? - You just found out about James and Tom,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 37
Sorry. Uh, but hey, if-if you do go, maybe you could take Ted.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 38
I came to the desk to get this.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 39
Is that... is that James and Tom?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 40
I love you so much.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 41
I don't need them to make me believe in true love anymore.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 42
How about we nibble on my brother's Ding Dong together?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 43
When you believe in people,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 44
Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how much gas this thing takes?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 45
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I'm trying to be happy for my brother, but, uh...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 47
she's right around the corner.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 48
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God, you look great.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 50
Aired 4 years ago - Sep 23, 2013

On their way to Long Island for their wedding weekend, Robin and Barney come across a startling family discovery. Meanwhile, Marshall sees something online that changes the course of his journey east, while Lily confronts Ted about letting go of Robin.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 1
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CAPTAIN [OVER PA]: Flight attendants, prepare for departure.
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- But that would destroy her dream. - You are destroying a lot of dreams now.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 4
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...but it's all just propaganda. First, it was "Don't move to Italy."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 6
Get back on the expressway, now.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 7
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...because your nation's ridiculous? - Sure.
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- On one hand or total? - Total.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 10
[CHITTERS THEN GULPS]
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 11
All right, train. Let's show your critics you're not just a dumpster on wheels...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 12
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Fine, let me just get on the online so I can Internet.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 14
That appears to be pornography.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 15
I haven't actually started going yet.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 16
Whose head smells like love and unicorn teardrops and why are trains so Ionely?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 17
- But there's nothing you can do... - Want a cookie?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 18
Kidding! Sorry. You looked stressed so I thought you could use a cookie.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 19
Are Cousin Mitch and I directly related?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 20
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Um, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 22
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- Just click on "Options." - I don't see it!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 24
All right, boys, you got this? Good. Let's get this bird in the air.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 25
TED: Your mother was lying. She had her own pair.
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Look, if it's true, if we are...
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BARNEY: Unless it's a weird cousin thing.
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Well, you've certainly piqued my incest... Interest! Interest!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 32
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...I'd helped Robin look for her long-Iost locket, but it was gone.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 34
It's not innocent. Ted, you think if you can get that locket for Robin...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 35
...from when we lived together. - You didn't call the woman...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 36
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You better hope when Sweaty gets off that phone...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 38
Her father and I are separated. She lives with her dad.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 39
Why was this so hard for my mom? All you do is you click the photo...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 40
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 41
...he was adopted because his real parents were eaten alive by their sled dogs?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 42
Go all the way!
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Whether any of those mammals go rogue, our wedding is gonna be legendary.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 44
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Here, have another Sum... Bitch.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 46
That photo is etched in eternity.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 47
They'll probably like the banana thing. The ape masters.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 48
I'm sorry I swatted you on the nose with a rolled-up magazine.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 49
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[VOICE BREAKING] No new insulting Marvin photo.