HAPPYish

He's got a great career.

Is a skid mark.

Morning. You working on Wonderbra?

No, no. We're gonna keep this really simple.

You know, that's how they torture prisoners

That's what you get for trying to be happy.

Okay, MGT.

stand up and take notice and say, "Whoa.

The speed of ideas!

and business is moving at the speed of ideas.

Lots of new faces here at MGT.

so we can all get to know each other a bit better.

We showed them great ideas.

"radical capitalism."

of all the ills it can cause.

Money can't buy happiness? We say bull.

The next time you raise a fist in the air,

We showed "radical happiness" weeks ago.

Cockenballsen? I thought it was Felch.

- Charlie. - You have two carts.

"but Newton was the only one who asked why."

In fact, he's so overwhelmed

because though the rest of his world

You're... you're done?

Because providing for your family is your job.

So should I quit my job and stick Dani with my bills?

36,000 fiction submissions a year...

You know, I love this idea

Only "The New Yorker" never published any of them either.

Did I save another 30 jobs including yours?

36,000!

Ugh!

I was just starting to feel like a human again.

So I can... you know, so I can, you know,

- I know. I... - Fuck. Fuck.

a reason for suffering all these slings and arrows.

but... but the Lord has called to me

on behalf of the office and, uh,

better options, enlistment tanks.

point to continued growth.

We had yellow peril.

Thom?

Amazing inventions.

Anxiety.

if we got rid of that horrible cortex.

I'll take two! I'll take two!

The TV campaign, average.

And they let him loose on the streets of New York, yeah?

I mean, did you see the LG one?

You can tell them how dangerous they are.

That's when Jesus rose from the dead.

full of militants,

Creepy little smile.

I can think of.

Fuck you, Larry.

Maybe this is the best time.

for fuck's sake.

because he was in advertising.

really loosening things up, isn't he?

When he gets here, tell him to get his melodramatic ass

"Put his family's needs before his own."

We can check out of this shitty hotel any time we like,"

where you're walking through a desert

Nope. Not at all.

Oh, those are called yarmulkes.

Well, yeah. Who doesn't? Saturdays are awesome.

"Hashem is Here," okay?

Uh, I guess so.

Okay, but just one.

Uh, Thom actually got called away.

We are aware of that, General.

I don't know what it's like where you're from, son,

Yeah, you're goddamn right you're gonna call 'em.

I can't. It's... it's always been sick,

if he's right to kill the gazelle

"ETS," on walls, on boots.

And then you get older.

37.

Incidents of drug abuse after lobotomy...

"I'll take two!"

When I was a teenager, my grandmother died.

But without my Phyllis, I just don't want to be here."

- This is completely outrageous. - This is bullshit.

This is my office.

No more singing. We are so late for school.

Mom, why are you always so angry?

for after school. Put your coat on. All right, let's go.

Thom, you gotta stop fighting this.

I love you, I love your talent,

Lee, my favorite parent.

- January? - She works.

The angry man or the happy one?

would be to have happy people doing happy things,

I agree with Thom. People are angry.

Uh, yeah.

We want to be comforted, consoled.

♪ Brighter than a lucky penny when you're near the... ♪

Did you ever see that monkey snuggling the dog video?

I mean, if you're going to ideate,

We expected more of him, too.

Bondage. Whipping. Fisting.

♪ The cold never bothered me anyway. ♪

This is torture.

"Epiphanies are orgasms of the mind."

What is it, Jonathan? Are you that desperate? Are you that scared?

if they all killed themselves,

but they rolled their eyes, scowled,

- Your agency? - My agency.

- Just spitballing a bit. - Welcome to my ideation room.

Excuse me.

Mother... fucked.

Because somehow spending your time in a studio,

To get out of being a lunch mom?

The first night in the birthing center...

You never let baby cry?"

It's ridiculous, because you're not a parent;

Mine said Prozac.

Don't be too angry with Jonathan.

What an asshole.

- Mm. - That's what Jonathan's doing.

Ugh.

- Maybe... maybe not the whole family. - Ugh.

It just... it's a bloodbath.

♪ Is a lazy metaphor ♪

Great campaign. Went totally viral.

Did the client approve Rob's changes to wardrobe?

What changes to the dialogue?

and I'll go straight to the airport after the shoot.

- We'll get you there. - Okay.

Hey, you can't play it.

Right? Make a sign?

well, I'm in hell, so call me.

You should see the setup they have there...

Oh, God.

Do you wanna stay with a BlackBerry?

Okay, thank you. Sorry, I'm just...

It means gloomy, glum, morose.

Good to see you again.

- He works night and day. - I understand that.

Uh, you know that last take was great...

Off-Broadway playing Willy Loman, that's where.

There goes my fuckin' Laker game!

- I love LA. - We love it.

Ma, do you... wait. What are those?

We worked in that tree for 40 years, Thom.

I gotta get the fuck out of here.

Oh, hey, do you wanna look at any of the protective cases we have?

- I know, Mom. - Okay.

Dude! This is amazing!

Most of the kids.

Oh, please.

I said to the guys, "No more animated characters.

I won't even say goodbye for me.

He wants you to cover the edit.

But you got just a wide shot and some close-ups.

What is it? It's a screenplay, a novel?

surrounded by bulimic assholes

Ugh.

pictured your daddy coming home and giving you a big, big hug,

and pictured Gottfrid opening his office window

What about the children, the boys?

- Hey. - Yeah.

By the time you get it home, it's probably gonna be damaged.

Gravity does wonderful things to the female body.

Yes, but it's our shithole.

He said that we would find something here.

Oh, can't we just play in the sand, guys?

Oh, my God. My eyes.

I just wanna have a mindless day.

That's the whole point, you know?

Okay, I won't yuck your yum.

Like, late '90s or something, right?

Cool, cool. I dig that.

but he and Atomic are buried in Wonderbra.

I told you this was a good idea.

The latest underaged prophet

What one book is enough for a lifetime?

to write a book or two,

Barry was my beautiful black knight in shining armor,

Well, we don't fuck or laugh.

Wow, there's no conversation

Could we get another round of appletinis

Hey, I inherited that campaign.

Golda Meir. Barbara Bush.

I came in here and I said, "Hey...

You know, I think it was the stuff that made me happy back then.

and it's just filled with $5,000 couches

- Yeah. - And?

What do you think?

to keep him interested in you.

You have a home. You have a studio.

It's not like anybody doesn't know what they do.

so, you know, your guess is as good as mine.

Or, you know, whatever.

They all seem really happy with it.

however much they need to believe that it is.

Hey, don't bust my balls, Lee.

Look, if I said I was taking everybody to "regular land,"

Shining city on the hill.

You take joy wherever you can find it,

They're cheap and slutty.

Ugh. I can't drive.

And nobody would travel halfway around the world

They wanna be human and approachable.

They're dropping dead.

There's a famous Buddhist, Thich Nhat Hanh,

Hey, buddy.

But we didn't do hugs!

Yeah, sure.

It's a bit cold with the heater out.

No Wi-Fi, no cell, just away.

- You know... - Oh.

I should... I think I'm just gonna get back to work.

Yeah, in Poland.

Ah, uh-huh.

The Nazis found them about a week after she joined.

She did?

Terrible way to go.

contain fish with elevated levels of mercury.

We're not polluters, we're environmentalists.

I have motions to file, cases to try.

I'll call in for my 4:00 on my way to my 3:00,

Yeah, I'm gonna stay on the line.

- Uh, no, I'm not. - How can you say that?

that you didn't know a year ago?

Are you going to solve the Ukraine or Bahrain or acid rain?

of "The New York Times" than it is to look in the mirror.

This train is now a crime scene and may not be moved.

but her hearing started to go a couple of years back.

She'd never make it through the night.

Grant him/her light, happiness, and peace.

It could've been anyone, you know?

About this newspaper, about the world.

I mean, should it take death to make you think about life?

I should go,

Mm-hmm.

The old one already had retina display.

Send me the email with the Word doc you converted from that PDF.

Definitely.

I think we can spend our money better elsewhere.

something that encapsulates the idea

Everyone who is or was is an asshole.

- First prize? - Life?

are some sort of anomaly, some sort of aberration.

Like this asshole, Fitzgerald Miller.

Is gonna be all right

Oh, he's just jealous of you, buddy.

Okay? That has nothing to do with you.

he would run under his desk, crying.

Music up, pool party is saved,

- I'm just asking, for believability. - For believability.

and I don't feel like losing this project

David from production called.

He's the dickhead that fucked them up in the first place.

over at the day school. It seems there has been a little incident

and it changes the world, okay?

Do you remember? They're a great brand.

I'm here! It's me!

Wait. Come back! Wait, come back!

Jules asked him to stop, and when he didn't, he hit him.

Gotta get a place to do my work, Thom. I'm going crazy.

It's the biggest pitch of the last five years.

11:30. That's early, even by your standards.

No booze, no pot, no salt, no nothing.

Okay, so, uh, if you avoid joy, then...

is that everyone loves this asshole.

Lululemon.

they look at me, they say, "Hey, hi. What era are you from?"

and they're looking for someone to run Mars and Novartis.

It's just being as miserable as everyone else.

I thought you guys were going to keep it strictly biblical.

Uh, my son's problem is your son.

It's passed from kid to kid, person to person, like the plague.

Fitzgerald is a top student, a star athlete,

wasn't trying to make people happy.

Happiness as rebellion.

This campaign should be, "Damn it, despite everything,

We don't need campaigns anymore.

on this, but Coca-Cola as an insurgent brand?

"Mein Kampf" was for underlings.

There is no brand that was as powerful as the Nazi brand.

is that Coca-Cola is not a brand.

Account is losing 14.

His fever's gone. You know what's amazing?

Didn't Razorfish just lose Microsoft?

You know, I can multi-worry.

Okay, I'll make some calls.

Man is a legend.

New York Life is never going to let us

and the Charlie Browns of this world

Hey, Larry, are you okay?

They're just profiting from your fear.

You're gonna die one day, Thom.

Geckos can't whistle.

the bastard loves an unhappy ending.

- Mylanta? - Something. Anything.

I was a Jew living on St. Joseph's Aspirin.

Well-meaning, but a pain in the ass.

The message needs to be,

I'm hoping we don't get that desperate.

Whatever happened to actual realism.

You know, a... Weltanschauung, if you will.

But what I'm saying is Nabokov says

Uh, yeah. Happy to.

for another couple of years.

but I really don't want to be standing

They said, "We don't know."

- Tests for what? - Everything.

After all these years of alcohol and tobacco,

Debbie'll get you the brief and support points.

Scientists have become our popes, rabbis, imams.

- That's it? - That's it.

In one hour, they can make 2,000 cookies,

Very good, excellent.

Quiet, quiet.

- Good, yes? - Those scripts, yes.

What? Fuck you, Thom.

So, yeah, we laugh, we joke, we chuckle,

How many times did you blink today asshole, huh?

You escape Egypt, now you're lost in the desert.

No, to make herself feel better.

is that one day, sooner or later,

life is a tragedy, we die, all of us.

What does that make him? 70 years old?

Stay that way.

She's drinking.

Fucker hung up on me.

Gustaff and Gottfrid renamed all the conference rooms.

- Arthur or Henry? - Frank.

- God damn it. - What is it?

that doesn't come back to the fuckin' Holocaust?

Hey! Asshole!

- Father? - Mother.

- Tomorrow? - I just don't know yet.

they couldn't believe it.

So Keebler talks about real, yes?

We want to get rid of the fake elves.

I'd be thrilled.

or Fast Eddie gets a bad report card.

Ken Burns.

So?

Why the fuck did you bring it home in the first place?

- Why? - Because he's on 24.

All those years you told me I was a bad mother,

Oh, sure, sure. Walk away.

living in a real fucking tree?

Thom, you live in the creative world.

Just, bam, now I got two more inches.

and go find out who stole your dick.

Have you noticed all the fucking grandparents at school lately?

She's with her grandmother every fucking day.

We all pursue it.

There's no joy in Cokeville,

Disillusionment.

and billions of poor suckers who made them that way.

That's really good.

I'll handle the Prozac pitch.

Can you say, "Shver tzu zein a Yid"?

Will you help me and Pants bring this present to Julius?

I told your father, "She has real talent."

But you... you I could see had real ability.

I knew that. We all knew that.

doesn't mean they're not gonna throw you and Julius into the gas chambers.

in the middle of fucking Woodstock, New York,

We're taking Julesy out to dinner.

there's something I want to explore with you.

How come?

It could be Dora's Magical Castle Playhouse.

- Stop it. - Even when you're bad.

We know this is a new idea for you,

all we're really changing is the approach.

It's okay. They're watching "Frozen."

Her pussy is good enough for him to fuck,

Legally, I can only go to an 18.

Dad, read it normal.

but not for a very, very long time.

You got to be consistent. I was watching that.

of early-onset Alzheimer's.

Why bother with you at all?

Just for the record, if you...

- Mom! - I'm right here, sweetheart.

- Read it. - You read the hardcover.

So he gets a team of 100 engineers to work all night to replace them.

I've worked for the dark lord for 20 years now

They're not gonna fire you. I won't let them.

I don't care which Swedish dick he's sucking.

Fuck it! All right, tell them I'll be there.

These homicidal motherfuckers are fantastic marketers.

but it's a less filling world.

In a couple of months, I expect to be replaced by a fucking app.

Thet won't touch you. Do you know that the average age

Oh, now, that's even funnier.

Richard Simmons, high joy ceiling.

By show of hands, how many of you find Thom likable?

I have a job, a wife, and a child.

I pursue an impossible standard of physical perfection

Nice tits, asshole.

Now, what we have to do first is take a look at all the accounts

What comes after color?

- I swear it said, "follow us on Twitter." - Yeah. Yeah.

Look, Keebler had its best year last year

I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little strange.

Ernie, Ernie, no one's gonna fire you.

He wanted to make a bad situation right,

Oh!

You're double-stuffed.

No, I don't want to go down.

Thom, it's fucking bullshit.

The red one from your party.

Martini?

you delivered earlier on the rights of animated elves.

I couldn't possibly.