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Continuing
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Tuesdays 9:00 PM on ABC (US)
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 3

Aired 7 months ago - May 10, 2017

In the Season 3 finale, Dre throws Bow's baby shower and wants it to be unforgettable, but his plans are put on hold when Bow stops by the OB/GYN with a headache and discovers she is having complications.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 1
People want a gift from the heart.
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What about you, Junior?
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A grown man eating out of a diaper.
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But I'm just gonna need you to pick up the balloons, though.
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Oh, not just any baby pool. Bow and I were born in it.
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So it has sacred birth energy that transcends species.
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before the baby steals your spotlight.
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How's puberty coming?
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Hey, Pops, do you mind keeping an eye on the kids?
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[Shouting]
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Oh, my God. Dre.
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You don't think this happened because I put too much stress on you
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- So? - So, I'm afraid
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We deliver babies early all the time at this hospital.
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This is a great hospital,
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Look, Pops, Bow has something called preeclampsia,
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Hey, man, is there a vending machine...
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which means it's best to have the baby now.
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Come on, come on, come on. Let's go.
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My mother... She's on her last legs.
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Why did I think a bathtub shark was a good gift?
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but if your baby's born when my mother dies,
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Yes, candles and open oxygen tanks...
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and they had to do an emergency C-section.
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Why would we need that? Bow said everything was gonna be okay.
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You sure?
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Let me handle this.
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What's wrong with this damn hospital?
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Your high blood pressure's making you hallucinate.
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Wow.
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I want the uncut Dilaudid.
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- Okay. - Yep.
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- All right? I'm right here. - Okay.
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- All right? - Mm-hmm.
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- Okay. - All right.
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She's on some celebrity-level narcotics right now.
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Your blood pressure's already coming down.
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What... Where are they taking him?
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How you feeling, sweetie?
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Oh. They say he's doing great.
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- Dre. - But she still had a good time.
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- Oh! Um, I also talked to my Uncle Ricky. - Okay.
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Here's a hint... The black one.
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Look... Just... Everything's gonna be all right.
Aired 7 months ago - May 03, 2017

Dre drops Zoey off to college for her two-day orientation, where she hits it off with a fellow freshman after they ditch the campus tour and meet a guy at the Black Student Union booth; and Zoey finds out Dre never turned in her housing application, so she pays a visit to the president and dean to plead for mercy.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 23 (S03E23) - 1
Okay, group B, just introduce yourself
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Oh... my... God. I had to get out of there.
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Vegan BBQ Society,
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what the Black Student Union is?
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Wait. You know Professor Telphy?
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here, today, at this college.
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So with the Sleep Ease pillow...
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Oh, so interested.
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Oh, we should see what dorm we're living in.
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I don't know. But I was very serious about how cute he was.
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Stacy, hey! I don't see my name.
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Not right now, okay?
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- The McRib! - What?
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We've got a real problem.
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for the new aquatic center, huh?
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I'll have you know, people loved our mac 'n' cheese.
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We have a black dorm here on campus?!
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That's segregation!
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Uh, send her in.
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I-I'm here to talk to you about my housing...
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It's a term the kids are using now
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So now you agree?
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Effective immediately, we will disband Hawkins Hall.
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- Yeah, I'd go anywhere with you. - What?
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Hey!
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- No, the Black dorm. - Well, yeah.
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He said that he, maybe, might want to shut it down.
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I could kinda tell you weren't down, you know, I get it.
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from, like, Encino, or...
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The guy that hits him with the...
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Well, of course you're leaving. That was never...
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Jeez.
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Aww, it's totally not your fault.
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I had already managed to lose my housing
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The only way human beings can actually learn.
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Obviously, no questions, right?
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I don't care if you can't even remember "BSMCRDF,"
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Did I have the strong recommendations
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What's the most important part of your job in one word?
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Charlie was actually making sense.
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to go to Smith or Wellesley or Barnard.
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All the qualities that make us proud to be Titans.
Aired 8 months ago - Apr 26, 2017

When Zoey gets into several colleges around the country, Dre and Bow begin to feel worried and sentimental. They reflect back on memories they’ve had with the family and wonder what life will be like without her around all the time. Pops enlists the twins to try and sway Zoey to go to college in a city they want to visit.

Aired 8 months ago - Apr 26, 2017

Bow’s sister comes to town after filming a stint on a reality show, and they couldn’t have less in common. Meanwhile, Zoey suggests that Dre spend more time with Junior since she’s leaving for college, and Jack and Diane decide to rebrand themselves.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 1
No one ever takes Santamonica seriously,
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Silly and serious... Such clichés.
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- Enjoy. - [Sniffs]
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You should say something.
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But Jack is so small.
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Now with nonstop flights to Denver."
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"Baileys Almande... Lighter-tasting, dairy-free."
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- But he's not born yet. - Junior.
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My father and I loved to spend time together.
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So... it seemed pretty dangerous to my dad.
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So, Josh had given me a plan.
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used to encourage us to live lives of impact?
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Okay, that's not the point.
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Things change so quickly in that world.
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Junior. I'm talking to you, man.
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Say it again to my face.
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- [ Horse neighs] - That... was... incredible!
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- [Laughs] - Wha...
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Well, she has always been really lucky.
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I am writing an empowerment guide for women,
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because she married an athlete and then she got alimony.
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Of both my girls... Impacting the world.
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I know what?
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Equally, Rainbow.
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- all of our kids equally, either. - Hmm.
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I went in with an open heart.
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And you just might find out that you like her, too.
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Whoa.
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Zoey was totally wrong about us.
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You'll do great.
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[ Shouting, swords clanging]
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Unh-unh! She's not who she seems!
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You want me to be quiet?
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I'm gonna watch it in my bedroom, on a 70-inch,
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Listen, marriage is tough.
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Sad selfie with my lunch.
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Not working?
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... is that Eriq La Salle is right behind you.
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I [bleep] hate my sister.
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I'm sorry I threw away all your baby pictures.
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so you can concentrate on the magic.
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Mom, I know my aura is coming off sludge brown,
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Well, then, neither are mine.
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She goes to physical therapy with you?
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I love you because of who you are.
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What have I become?
Aired 8 months ago - Apr 05, 2017

Dre's sister Rhonda is in town, and he feels a little jealous of her close relationship with Pops. Dre and Bow urge Zoey to take Junior to a high school party, and things get out of hand. Meanwhile, the twins feel like they're soon to be forgotten, and decide to live life to the fullest.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 1
Nothing.
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What the hell you doing here?
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This is a civilized community.
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I've been hiding for two hours.
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that is sucking all the power from my brain.
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We're forgotten children.
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So, what should we do first?
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But there are some adults present,
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I am cool!
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this punch smells like Pops' room.
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I'm at a rager.
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You got some extra cash?
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Yeah, I was a breadwinner and a civil-rights pioneer.
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Dre's cupcake money is my petty cash!
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Dad cheats on everything... His taxes, his wife, Monopoly.
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- Mm-hmm. - Shot him again.
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[Grunting]
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[Voice breaking] Mama, can I ask you something?
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Emily! You're the designated survivor!
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[Scoffs] Okay.
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Oh, no. Oh, no!
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Bill Clinton, Zac Efron.
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Desmond Tutu, did you steal my peanuts?!
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Like the one your sister told about me and your gym teacher!
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- Mama, how could you?! - Oh, boy, don't make such a fuss.
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It's fun when no one cares about you.
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♪ One, two, three, get loose now ♪
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Junior, stop being so self-conscious.
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Did you know these chips are laced with cannabinoids?
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Can I get one for the 'Gram? Shirt off.
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Oh, God! Come on! We have to go!
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[Police radio chatter]
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Hey, Mama.
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I don't need you to forgive me.
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Look, whatever happened back in the day
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But I like that you saw me that way.
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Gym teacher, Mama.
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And thank you so much for bringing her home safely.
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Zoey, they do not bring kids home in police cars
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And where's your brother?
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- Nothing. - [TV shuts off]
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Man, I blamed you for everything
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All he's trying to say
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He only let it slip about Mom
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You were so busy partying and getting arrested
Aired 9 months ago - Mar 29, 2017

Dre is excited about doing a campaign with a popular rap star but becomes conflicted when Bow and Ruby provide feedback suggesting it plays on stereotypes. Meanwhile, Bow is determined to get the family to stop eating so much take-out food, but realizes the family may be too accustomed to eating whatever they want.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 1
wants to put this much money into a campaign.
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It's not just for New Year's or mimosas.
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[Laughter] These are orthopedic.
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My check is gonna be so huge.
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That is outstanding!
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All right, family. Good news.
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Yo, Rich Youngsta, I'm not feeling these pancakes.
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♪ Put some Uvo on it
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♪ Put some Uvo on it
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Yeah, I think I felt feelings.
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You should be. I-I don't know why I did that.
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Yeah, and I don't want you guys to hear all the compliments.
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Uh, the intonation of your compliment sounds weird.
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Well, that's the problem. Let me help you out.
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the new 'Put Some Uvo On It' ad?"
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So, Dre, how did that feel,
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Never thought I'd see this day.
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"whose popular character dubbed
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But what you're not reading off the Internet...
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- Are you defending him, Dre? - I...
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So disappointed with you, baby.
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Uh, yeah. Kind of.
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And good for him, Dre.
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Look...
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so I made dinner for my grandbabies.
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Uh, that's because I don't care what you want.
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But I don't like meatloaf.
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Because in my day, there was no food allergies.
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Oh, yes.
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- Where the... - And you begat weak,
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Yeah, you too, bro. [Chuckles]
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Ah, Man! I knew this was gonna blow up, man!
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The girl twin. Malia Obama. Mississippi. Siri.
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that their pregnant doctor-mother made.
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Rainbow: Thank you. Are you surprised, Ruby?
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Yes, I do.
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then you had to sit there until you did.
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- Nice. Let's see. - Uh! Sorry. You're not going.
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Put some Uvo on it.
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I had created a phenomenon.
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Hey, let me tell you,
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how this all goes down.
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So, what do you think?
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Okay.
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Yeah, and all those things are true, too.
Aired 9 months ago - Mar 15, 2017

Dre considers taking paternity leave after he realizes that Zoey is arguably the best child and their bond developed while he was unemployed when she was born. Meanwhile, Bow tries to hide her pregnancy in order to get a promotion, and Ruby convinces the kids that their nanny, Vivian, is stealing from them.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 1
So, you had four kids and you weren't home with any of them?
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eating a muffin, and then you came in and told me
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 3
- What? - Charlie: Eustace turned out great, too.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 4
Hey. Has anyone seen my iPod Shuffle?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 5
Do they still make iPod Shuffles?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 6
Ah, I love the track suit and kitten heels.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 7
Gather quickly.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 8
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Oh, we gonna find that Shuffle.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 10
'Cause I know how to...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 11
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 12
Hey, Dad... Ohh!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 13
She's perfect.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 14
What if Zoey turned out so great because I was home
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 15
as something more than just a holiday drink.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 16
Sitting by the fire, waiting for the phone to ring.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 17
I told you he was gay, Dad.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 18
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Legoland.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 20
Stevens: Seriously, just take the shot.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 21
- Mm-hmm. - And then I nailed it, Dre.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 22
I want my baby to have all the benefits
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 23
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that people are inherently evil, which I do.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 25
All this proves is you won't be able to live near a school.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 26
When someone steals from you, catch them.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 27
Hey.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 28
But on the plus side, it did prompt a pop-in visit
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 29
And you may also take paternity leave.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 30
So, I was just handing out your account
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 31
Well, you'll see enough of them when you're at home.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 32
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in the workplace.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 34
I deserve this, and I killed it in that meeting.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 35
but now I see that I really have no reason to be.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 36
No, no. You know he's not for me.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 37
- What? - Come here, come here.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 38
- N... - Well, now I'm not into her.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 39
It means I am completely loyal.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 40
Moms cannot do it all.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 41
I'm glad that you are so sensitive
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 42
[Cellphone rings]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 43
Okay, okay.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 44
Ruby: Kids!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 45
when you steal from a thief.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 46
She went and got change.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 47
Can you believe that, Vivian?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 48
- It's Vivian. - Please, Black Nanny,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 49
in a handkerchief claiming it's a shirt.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 50
It's okay. It's okay.
Aired 9 months ago - Mar 08, 2017

Janine gives Diane a white Girlstory doll for her birthday, and when Bow tries to return it for a black doll, she is shocked by the limited options offered. Dre blames the lack of representation of African Americans in the media, but when confronting this systematic problem, he realizes that he has prejudices of his own. Meanwhile, Ruby enlists the help of Junior to be her Spades partner. MORE -LESS

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 1
♪♪
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And I swear on Earnest's clogged-up dead heart
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Yes. I knew they would, 'cause it's so simple.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 4
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♪♪
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 6
She's our best-selling GirlStory doll.
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Well, mm, except for a few
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 8
where are your black dolls?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 9
Uh-huh, okay.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 10
you have dozens of disabled...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 11
who marched on Selma.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 12
Oh, come on.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 13
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all the way out to Sunglass Hut.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 15
That is the one thing that reminds me
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 16
The images that we see affect who we are...
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Do you think I need to see Viola Davis snot-cry
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 18
That's why your job is so important,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 19
You effect change in a real and tangible way.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 20
Great. We're not doing it.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 21
Boxable is looking for the gold standard.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 22
- [Sighs] - Stevens: Okay, Dre, the gold standard...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 23
but we can't assume that progress is permanent.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 24
and give the world a different "gold" standard.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 25
Oh, we don't get days off, or benefits.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 26
that you choose to focus on our oppression and struggle
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- Okay, so... - I would just love it
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 28
"Not enough icing on the cinnamon rolls in the café"?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 29
your complaint would've been heard eventually.
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Ooh. Nice one, Zoey!
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Oh, no. That's gonna bring ants.
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The new gold standard.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 33
[voice breaking] and it's always hurt.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 34
And damn it, Charlie. You always forget to dribble!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 35
Ooh. That's milky right there.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 36
Well, why don't you walk us through your casting process?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 37
He's right, boss.
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- Oh. - Oh, there it is.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 39
These dolls can't speak, Dre.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 40
You know, I thought I was gonna heal the world
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 41
You want a big change, make a big move!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 42
Dre, this was supposed to be your "Do the Right Thing,"
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 43
No, my babies! No! No!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 44
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You know she like young men.
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We've been practicing.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 47
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[Both laugh]
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♪ Until you reach the top ♪
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 50
Oh.
Aired 10 months ago - Feb 22, 2017

Dre is forced to participate in jury duty after Junior responds to the summons that was thrown away. The case is supposed to be open and shut, but when Dre sees that the defendant is a young African American, he feels a civic responsibility to give him a fair trial. Meanwhile, Bow decides to let the kids swear in the house since they are more open with her that way, but she and Ruby soon regret the decision. MORE -LESS

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 1
The odds are stacked against the accused,
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I just saved you 600 low-quality calories.
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and is entitled to a jury of his own peers.
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Hey! Seth! Language!
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- [Doorbell rings] - It's handled.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 6
Please don't take this the wrong way,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 7
Hey, Seth, how many kids in your class are having sex?
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[Laughs] That's impossible.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 9
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Junior: This is not just a jury summons.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 11
In some states, they only have about seven minutes
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[Yawns]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 13
I can't stop thinking about what Janine said to me.
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Hey!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 15
Well, I didn't punch anyone in the face,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 16
- Uh... - Oof.
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Rhonda's gay.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 18
This is an open-and-shut case.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 19
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[Jury members agreeing]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 21
11 to 1.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 22
Uh, "open-and-shut" just seems a little fast.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 23
a little bit about the cursing guidelines
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 24
- Yeah, well. - But you've made your decision.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 25
This gazpacho tastes like [bleep]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 26
Okay, that was so jarring! [Laughs]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 27
because of a series of recent murders.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 28
- Bro. - I see your vision.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 29
Wow. This is hard.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 30
What? I thought you guys won that one.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 31
No one goes to jury duty, Dre. Send your proxy.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 32
You know what, Charlie? I used to blow off my civic duty, too,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 33
Well, is he?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 34
When a person is accused of a crime in America,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 35
[All cheer]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 36
filled with people who are purposefully not their peers,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 37
Wow. One in three?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 38
I'm... I'm deceased.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 39
♪ Cold cash money and too short raps ♪
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 40
I think this whole swearing thing was a terrible idea.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 41
- She wouldn't give us an extra 10 minutes to... - Wait a minute.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 42
in front of everyone.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 43
[Chuckles] Okay.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 44
Since Antoine wasn't going to get a jury of his peers,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 45
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 46
- Okay. - Wait.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 47
- [Gasps] Beautiful family. - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 48
Well, what the hell was the kid doing with $500 in his pocket
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 49
[Jury members murmuring]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 50
Oh, Dre. We heard you out.
Aired 10 months ago - Feb 15, 2017

When Dre goes back to Compton for a funeral, he is reunited with his old crew and struggles with survivor’s remorse for the friends he left behind. Meanwhile, Bow becomes self-conscious when Ruby criticizes her parenting style.

Aired 10 months ago - Feb 08, 2017

Dre and Bow have a gender reveal party, and Dre is thrilled because it’s his turn to name the baby. He decides on a culturally significant name that Bow and Ruby aren’t a fan of. Meanwhile, Zoey’s plan to have an anti-Valentine’s Day with her friend Shelly is thwarted when Junior asks Shelly out on a date, so Diane tries to fill in as Zoey’s BFF.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 1
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 2
Aww, could you get any cuter?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 3
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I'm still not convinced
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 5
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Everything's "No, Josh." "Leave me alone, Josh."
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 7
I'm a corporate evaluator here to judge productivity
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 8
I think you're intelligent, competent,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 9
it's your daughters that are gonna take care of you
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 10
there's no one I'd rather have than her.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 11
Dre: After listening to these idiots,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 12
but you're really starting to become something.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 13
But that guy can... The one in the mirror.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 14
[Chuckles] Uh, what's up, Junior?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 15
They got these down at the Long Beach Aquarium.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 16
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- Come on. - Hey, baby.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 18
- Blue. - Blue?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 19
Oh, you are the one, son.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 20
What exactly is your problem with that name?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 21
"DeVonté" is the name
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 22
- Thank you, Mama. - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 23
until you hear him talking on the phone.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 24
Okay, because we've given our kids White names,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 25
[Clears throat]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 26
So you're doing that, huh?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 27
Dre, "DeVonté" sounds like two names played chicken
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 28
He was always sniffing and sneezing,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 29
- I did not, Black man. - Okay, look.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 30
All right, Black people were brought over here,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 31
- Yes, sir. - Then there was the Black nationalists
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 32
Charlie: He's right.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 33
I just wanted to say I'm sorry
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 34
Anyway, like I was saying, I'm sorry.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 35
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Can I get one of those?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 37
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 38
It's really nice.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 39
Just like all the fools at work, Donald Sterling,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 40
People are more accepting of African names, Dre.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 41
- Can I get a name for that order? - Sure you can.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 42
"Baby boy DeVonté" is gonna be just fine.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 43
One ad for a bail bonds.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 44
Devon's tea?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 45
were dashed by a barista named Augustus.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 46
and now I don't know which is which.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 47
two amazing women to each other.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 48
Yeah... because you said you don't believe in ownership.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 49
I made pizza for three.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 50
Aired 11 months ago - Jan 18, 2017

Bow convinces a begrudging Dre to try therapy, and he learns how to cope with his anger issues. Meanwhile, Johan becomes a life coach to the kids.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 1
Wh...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 2
I'm coming up there for y'all right now!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 3
Well, Mom clearly has poor timing,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 4
Remember, you have an eternal light that shines inside of you,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 5
Well, I teach people how to get in life's face.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 6
Great, got it. Zoey, what about you?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 7
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 8
- "Is this the day?" - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 9
like you actually cared enough to try.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 10
Yeah, but... but I-I still don't need therapy.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 11
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 12
Yeah. Hey, listen, to be honest, Dre, as much as you guys complain
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 13
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Oh, nothing.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 15
Besides, it was just a friendly disagreement in prayer group.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 16
One or the other, bro. Give me my shoes.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 17
I decided maybe a 50-minute yack session
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 18
Well, you probably couldn't afford them.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 19
You know, I was a kid, then... Boom... I wasn't.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 20
Uh... the stabbing happened during my childhood, yeah.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 21
to help keep your family stable.
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Well, there's no chance that won't come up
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 24
There's got to be other options.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 25
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You have a lot more illusions to burn.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 27
Did you know that my issues come from both my mom and my dad?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 28
- Uh-huh. - Thank you.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 29
So I'm sure that I can maintain my tenuous grip on sanity
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 30
and I will never do cocaine.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 31
And everybody knows that's a damn wig!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 32
Nope... 3:00, you can easily get to him, no glass.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 33
I'm sorry I said what I said about your dumb wig.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 34
Excuse me, Dr. Honey Bunny. Got to jump in here real quick.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 35
I should've just told him, "Go to hell, Dr. Jerk!"
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 36
Guys, time for our end-of-week accountability audit.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 37
♪♪
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 38
Um...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 39
What, me?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 40
It's a therapy tool.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 41
Say what you want, I'm not gonna take the bait.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 42
I hired extra security just to walk the women out
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 43
of watermelon Jolly Ranchers. That's true.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 44
Oh.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 45
Want some paper towels?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 46
Occupied.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 47
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and his life coach has a life coach.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 49
Louis!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 50
I was not crying.
Aired 11 months ago - Jan 11, 2017

The nation is still reeling after the outcome of the presidential election, and tensions are particularly high at Dre’s work. Much to his frustration, they haven’t been able to get anything done since election night – eight weeks ago. Meanwhile, Junior is dealing with a disenfranchised student body as class president, and when he is asked to deliver Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech at school, Pops teaches him there is more to the speech than Junior thought, MORE -LESS

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
How she uses lemonade as a symbol for women
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
Your mother's unraveling.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3
It's also a bowl.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
of anxiety and elation, and we seemed to be
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
How the hell did we let this creep up on us like that?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
knock this pitch out of the park.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
There's no way we're getting any work done today,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
Sweet mother of God, that man is an evil genius.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
Look, I am a ferocious Republican,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11
Trump is looking to deport.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
if I was not clear.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
I'm actually mad at myself for not having started here.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
You're talking about the man who had a left-hand jumper
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
in the face.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
- with an idea for this pitch. - Well...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
And, Dre, I got to be honest.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
the first female president, so can someone explain
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
Why is she just staring at me?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
Martin had a lot more Malcolm in him than people thought.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
Besides, you're underage
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
anyone who was black, but what if instead of Obama,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
- Ah. - Man, totally ruined Tic Tacs for me.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
- What? - Hmm?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me or my family.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
This country at its core is just a company.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
like Khloé Kardashian changes black dudes.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
is a vote for racism.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
- Thank you. - [Telephone beeps]
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
How about while that's cooking,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
I've really got to focus on this.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
Look, all I know is that man would never be my president.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
You don't think I care about this country?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
But we still played ball, tried to do our best
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
Black people wake up every day believing that our lives
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
because that's what you're supposed to do.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
when everything was happening to all of my people
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
you want me to have your voice.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
I'm sorry that I have been acting
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
Because as a mom, it is my job to deliver a world
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
me and my friends will be voting.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
This is crazy.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
I'm gonna give a speech, but it's gonna be
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
sitting right there with Dr. King.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
The people needed to hear that we should be fighting.
Aired 11 months ago - Jan 04, 2017

When Diane stumbles onto some websites that give her more than she bargained for, Dre and Bow must take action. Concerned that the internet is corrupting their children, Dre and Bow decide to make their home an internet free-zone and deal with the backlash.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 1
I didn't even know what I was looking at.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 2
Uh. Mm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 3
or curious about something, just don't go online, all right?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 4
Oh.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 5
Google it. Google it.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 6
but they knew all about filth.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 7
you had to tramp all the way down to the river,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 8
[Laughs] Boys will be boys.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 9
You fired her to make room for you creepy son.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 10
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 11
College?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 12
That evil child wants me dead.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 13
She knows it.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 14
Pam, she's not addicted!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 15
Sweetie, you need to relax.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 16
Don' worry. I calmed down first.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 17
Pam said that kids looking at online porn is an epidemic.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 18
I can't just ask them what they've been doing online.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 19
had really damaged all my kids, we started spying on them,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 20
... extreme violence, insane YouTube gamers...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 21
♪ Yeah ♪
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 22
He watches some foulmouthed fish-n-chip-eating Swedish guy
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 23
Wait a minute.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 24
Well, it's just a baby pic for Throwback Thursday, but still.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 25
- Literally the definition. - Oh.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 26
you want to spend every waking moment looking your best.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 27
All right. It'll be a good little experiment.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 28
- See... Dre? - Yeah?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 29
I thought we would just make the code my birthday.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 30
Junior: Dad!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 31
Doh.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 32
- Dre! Dre, Dre. - Yeah.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 33
I wasn't going to save my family
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 34
the whole world had caught?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 35
If aliens landed here, they would think
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 36
Touch my charger one more time, Dre!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 37
Laptops, iPads, iPhones, Surfaces, Kindles, Kindle Fires,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 38
I'm grown. Can't control me!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 39
Mm-hmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 40
It's not that we don't trust you.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 41
doesn't mean you should be watching it.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 42
Letting yourself be affected by a stupid boy.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 43
What?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 44
In some ways, it's even safer.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 45
It's where we get all our information.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 46
I mean, he could have family money or an art collection.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 47
you could use to get helpful information.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 48
You're just going to have to trust us.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 49
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 50
- I can't sleep. - Mm, me either.
Aired a year ago - Dec 14, 2016

Zoey is college-bound, so Dre sets out to create the best family Christmas ever, even having Johan and his best friend, Gigi, over for the celebration. Meanwhile, Bow babysits Gigi's newborn and remembers just how difficult mothering a baby is.

Aired a year ago - Dec 07, 2016

Bow urges Dre to use his connections and secure Zoey a fellowship, but he doesn’t want his daughter relying on nepotism. When Bow finds Zoey a place at the hospital, Dre balks at the idea and successfully pulls some strings at Teen Vogue. Meanwhile, Junior loses his first job at an arcade pizza joint that the twins love after he reports their unclean practices to corporate, and they shut it down. MORE -LESS

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 1
Got it? Good.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 2
All I'm saying is that if Zoey wants an internship,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3
You've been at Pizza Possum for two days.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
They don't just give this to anybody with a vest.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5
He's got a new family now... Corporate America.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
It looks great. You're great.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
Hold on. Who is saying this stuff?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
that Bow would even ask me to help Zoey.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
Damn straight.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
To make out with my cousin.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11
Man, I put a gang of onions on there.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
I became something... Junior Account Manager.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
Except your ex-wife.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 14
All the white guys at work had gotten ahead using nepotism,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 15
brought love and light to kids,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 16
And that's not even the worst of it.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17
How's it going down at the P.P.?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18
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That's definitely not it. Ask anyone at my school.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
What, that you didn't wear those shoes all day long?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 21
I was gonna find a way out of your gross internship anyway.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 22
- Yes, I did. - Hmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23
who will be buried in a field like Charlie.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24
Yeah, he'll still never live long enough
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
- But, Neil, this is my princess Zoey. - Aww!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
your love and adoration for me spill over onto her.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27
Okay. Is that vintage Givenchy?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 28
I did beg, and you did hire.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 29
That is a fun thing to learn about you.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 30
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
Ow! Ow!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
Yep, and it's pizza.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33
Rachel Dolezal,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 34
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 35
Everything is done with hands and teeth.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 36
T-They don't let garbage pull looks!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 37
I think you mean "a wunderkind."
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 38
Dre, I'm a black woman, and I went to medical school,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 39
Okay.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 40
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 41
It's stakeout time, and I'm in it for the long...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 42
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 43
Watching this fool take a mid-morning nap,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 44
They know! They're watching me!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 45
Mm, a life sacrificed for honor is the only life to live.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 46
You are the editor, right?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 47
and does not deserve that promotion.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48
I-I know you're only giving Zoey the special treatment
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 49
except my assistant whose dad owns the company.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 50
You gave them your name. Bold.
Aired a year ago - Nov 30, 2016

Bow must address unresolved feelings about her own biracial identity when Junior brings home his first girlfriend, who happens to be white. Dre is handling a big project for a client at work and relies on Charlie to teach him how to relate to the campaign’s white, female point-person. Meanwhile, Zoey needs extra credit for her design class, and asks Jack and Diane if she can remodel their room. MORE -LESS

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 1
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 2
What do you want?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 3
I mean, it's tired, baby-ish.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 4
I trusted you.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 5
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was the men's room.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 6
Thank you for coming so very much, milady.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 7
- I know my wife is. - White women aren't scared of me.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 8
Now, Charles, let's pretend that I am a white woman
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 9
Hey. Hey!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 10
Hey, Mom? We'll see you later.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 11
I've shed them a million times.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 12
And eventually, your one joy
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 13
White.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 14
is that because my mother's black but my father's white,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 15
which resulted in a bunch of folks like me
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 16
who learned to read, write, or even got your freedom.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 17
Suddenly, being any kind of black was the new black.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 18
And by the early '90s,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 19
Your problem is not with Junior's girlfriend.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 20
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 21
Mm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 22
is because I don't know who I am.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 23
Didn't you ever struggle with which box to check?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 24
What's French for "stab victim"?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 25
Mmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 26
- You seem out of your league. - Yeah. Strips and polka dots?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 27
that you have two John Mayer tickets on you at all times?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 28
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 29
Uh, Charles, what is the safest way to talk to a sistah?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 30
- Ooh. - Oh.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 31
Okay. That's gross. Really, really gross.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 32
Those were my friends.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 33
A flying monkey?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 34
It's "R" to the "A" to the "I" to the...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 35
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 36
Stop being so hard on yourself.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 37
First of all, a group of Korean women is called a raft.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 38
It's just one white woman.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 39
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 40
remember, they love playing Sudoku."
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 41
- That's right. - Benihana.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 42
He was very good to you.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 43
- Mm. - Yeah.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 44
- Bow-Bow girl! - Hi, Daddy.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 45
We cannot wing a presentation to Microsoft.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 46
I'm looking forward to hearing what you guys have for me today.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 47
And it comes with a pen, which does pen things.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 48
Hold on. Wait... wait a minute. Um...
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 49
It's what you work on even when you are not doing work.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 50
I'm gonna have to rethink this entire relationship.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 51
Let me walk you out.
Aired a year ago - Nov 16, 2016

Pops’ older sister Almaviligerais unexpectedly arrives for Thanksgiving, much to everyone’s delight except Ruby, who can’t stand her ex-sister-in-law. While Bow and Dre go on their last vacation before the baby arrives, the kids try to figure out why Ruby hates Almaviligerais so much.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 1
- Sookie, Sookie, now. - Yeah. Uh-huh.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 2
- Excuse me? - Assassination attempts.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 3
Yes!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 4
See, now I know you're lying 'cause they just okay.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 5
Ruby, now you just being ridiculous. Now let it go.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 6
And it sold for way over asking,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 7
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 8
I heard AV whisper to Pops, "The eagle has landed."
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 9
Have you not watched any of the links I sent you?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 10
I'm just connecting some very obvious dots.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 11
This is amazing! - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 12
We are gonna reconnect hard.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 13
and the bike rentals are free, but they go quick.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 14
- I want what's coming to me, Earl! - Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 15
I mean, you two used to be the best of friends.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 16
- I'm gonna jack you up! - Hey!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 17
Mm!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 18
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 19
Oh, I know exactly what this is.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 20
I was touching up my makeup in the bathroom,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 21
I always have morning sickness
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 22
is the last and final time for me.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 23
- Change is hard. - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 24
- No way! - Fine. All of it.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 25
Earl made all by himself
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 26
Side chicks are very relaxing.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 27
This is my dirty, filthy money.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 28
So if Pops had nothing to do with faking the lunar landing,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 29
Ugh. That's so far-fetched.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 30
Does anyone believe dad is good enough at anything
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 31
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - There we go.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 32
and hopefully that will get us back in the right frame of mind.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 33
Dre, there's no way that a female therapist can work out my kinks.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 34
Oh. Uh, not that.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 35
Uh-oh. That's her vengeance song.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 36
Okay. I have had enough of you, Ruby!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 37
I've seen this before. It ends with me marrying you,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 38
Pops and auntie AV have been cheating
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 39
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 40
Do you want it harder or softer, Dre?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 41
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 42
- Let's do this. - No means no, Bow!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 43
Here's your share.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 44
I don't care about Calvin!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 45
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 46
True.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 47
Ooh. I have an idea. Excuse me.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 48
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 49
I'm going over to the apartment on Bullis to, uh, relax.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 50
Earl, Ruby's a smart woman,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 51
Aired a year ago - Nov 09, 2016

When Jack and Diane bring home the results of their career tests, Dre and Bow must come to terms with the fact that Jack may have a blue-collar future. Meanwhile, Ruby is convinced Diane is possessed with a little help from Junior and Zoey.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 1
Oh.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 2
When I was a kid, they tested me
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to believe that they can be anything.
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- Aw, he's such a good person. - He is.
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Are you still thinking about how that test ruined your life, friend?
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You are a bum.
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Let us turn to the Good Book.
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You think everyone is possessed.
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but she's not possessed.
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So what? He's good at working with his hands. Good for him.
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Jack is fine.
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My butler, my stablemen, my fleet of maids, all good people.
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Keep one in the chamber.
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Oh, no, no. Paid white craftsmen served with honor right beside them.
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Who, him? No, no, no, no, no.
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He was a back breaker. I just said that.
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it would also be a tragedy because he's not living up to his potential.
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to whip Bow up into the same frenzy I was in.
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Okay. You know what? We gotta really push Jack.
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Yeah. Nine-fingered future.
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Well, now, that's the first time I've agreed with you.
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And you want him to do as well as his best parent.
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You should see your face
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'cause nobody knows how to fix a damn toilet.
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Uh, hold on... I-I-I... Hmm.
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It's petty. It causes resentment...
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- Ah! Oh! - Of the Lord."
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like conjugating Latin.
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It's go time, devil. Come on.
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- are made for the company. - Ah! You're dead!
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Yep. Part of the creative process.
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The longer you take to answer,
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 38
- Pretty cool. - Yeah.
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- Ah. - That was awesome!
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 40
Why? All he did was stop a stupid leak.
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Jack took one look at what I did for a living
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- Not a real job. - Yes, I do.
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I came home grumpy 'cause I came home to your Mama.
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like seeing animals doing people stuff.
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and wasting your whole life
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damn sure ain't the life I saw for my son either.
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We were just messing with you.
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And I had dry ice in my mouth.
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You all had a nice laugh at my need to expel Satan.
Aired a year ago - Oct 26, 2016

After Junior embarrasses Dre during a basketball game, Dre decides to remind Junior of his master pranking skills so he’ll never challenge him again. Meanwhile, the neighborhood participates in a “mischief night” during Halloween where petty crimes become legal, and Ruby takes it too far with the kids.

Aired a year ago - Oct 12, 2016

After a situation arises at work, Dre’s views are confronted regarding how black people are perceived now versus when he grew up. He wants to be more open-minded about being a part of his community, and his first step is joining his Homeowners’ Association. Meanwhile, Bow wants to spend more time with the kids before the new baby arrives and gets advice from Pops on how to make them want to be around her. MORE -LESS

Aired a year ago - Oct 05, 2016

With Obama leaving office and the upcoming election, Dre finds a new candidate to believe in – Junior. Junior is running for class president and is overqualified for the job, but he just can’t seem to connect with his fellow classmates. Dre becomes his campaign manager and tries to make Junior appeal to the masses. Meanwhile, Pops, Johan and Jack discuss why they’re not voting in the upcoming election, and Bow is worried that Zoey’s college essay is not going to get her into college. MORE -LESS

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 1
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What's wrong with you? We weren't raised that way.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 3
We're "supposedly" voting for a new class pet.
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If elected, I would be the most qualified president ever.
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Breathability, walkability, sensuability.
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Oh, sweetie. Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
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No! Not Buchanan!
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Lord, why is this child testing me today?
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Hey, how is your application coming?
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Excuse me. I had a 3.6, and I went to Brown.
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- That's what I'm talking about. - Mm-hmm.
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[Laptop closes] Dre's Obama memorial.
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How are they gonna know that they have opportunities?
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Oh, I'm sorry. You probably know him as the New Haven Ripper.
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Who's talking about strangling?
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Okay, Connie, now, that's just home talk,
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If you can get past all the projectiles
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What? No.
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because of one bad speech in an unflattering pantsuit.
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Your school has never had a black president?
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Pea coat, New Balance, and Frisbee.
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but for now, it's still ours.
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You need to stay out of this.
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Are we still talking about a class pet?
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So what are you thinking of listing?
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and you say "nothing," do you actually mean nothing?
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[Chuckles]
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Credit cards and the scammers
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Siri: I found a Panda Express on Ventura.
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 34
"10 Million Fireflies" is hard to recover from.
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So Popeye's Friday wasn't enough to convince you?
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next week, nobody talk about it either.
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What is your ideal candidate's stance on global warming?
Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 39
No wonder they keep coming over here, taking our jobs.
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- Okay. - Great again!
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White guilt was in.
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[Murmuring continues]
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[Chuckles]
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How could they say I rigged it? I didn't rig anything.
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Look at this.
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No, baby, I'm a Democrat.
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Stop.
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The good times that made us laugh
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Dre, that's disgusting.
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and we finally got there with Obama.
Aired a year ago - Sep 28, 2016

When Dre discovers that Zoey is questioning her belief in God, he undergoes a crisis of faith and leans on family members and coworkers for their input. Meanwhile, Bow’s brother Johan comes to stay with The Johnsons after living abroad and becomes an instant thorn in Dre’s side.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 1
Big fan of religion, though.
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Okay, it's right there.
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You know what the Bible Belt is synonymous with?
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Dre, you got this.
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and that something was God.
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something better is coming in this world or the next.
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- _ - [Indistinct conversation]
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This is some white [bleep].
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So from here on out, no more almond milk, radicchio,
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There's a straight line from entitlement to atheism.
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but something happens, and you feel... something.
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Please tell me you said "aneurysm."
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- Just... - Yeah, questions like,
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Let the miracle of your aneurysm take her now.
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- Married into that. - I did.
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God looks like a 20-minute screen saver
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Our Father, who art in heaven,
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That's the day I'm actually gonna have cookies.
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Soap in the soap dish.
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It was time to get real with Zoey,
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- Eh. - Ah.
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Oh, you sound so stupid.
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didn't God kill everyone that wasn't named Noah?
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that's higher than you.
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But everything they gave you, God gave them!
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but this is where I'm at right now.
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"Dear God, thank you for my pretty house and all my friends."
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What are you talking about?
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Please, God, let there be some pizza left.
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Listen...
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I mean, you're usually there for me.
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Black nanny... what... what is her name?
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Dear God, Father above, giver of strength...
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What did I tell you about eating sugary snacks in bed?
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- All right. - This is disgusting.
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Used to cry all the time, period.
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Is he gonna ask me to kill Junior next?
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when she finds herself alone in that foxhole.
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who can handle whatever life throws at her.
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And... and I'm not trying to say anything by this.
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Uggs.
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Wow, they must've gotten up on each other's shoulders
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Oh, like how they learned to mirror-glaze the toilet,
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He can't even close an envelope.
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Bonjour. Is this Rite Aid?
Aired a year ago - Sep 21, 2016

Dre decides to take his family to Walt Disney World on the magical, first-class vacation experience he was never able to have as a kid. With the help of a VIP tour guide, Dre and the kids take full advantage of their VIP status. Meanwhile, Bow, Pops and Ruby set off on their own adventure at Walt Disney World.

Recap of Black-ish Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 1
You know what? You didn't have to come.
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What do you mean?
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[ Chuckles ]
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- Talking about "better be"? - Mama. This is Cody.
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I was a place kicker for an arena football team.
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I wish you would!
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When you get a job, yeah.
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So, we don't have to wait in that line?
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Uh, who is Microsoft?
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Eh, it's just a flattering form of racism, son.
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Oh. Okay, well, there's a lot of other rides I can ride, right?
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the way the baby ruined hers.
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But eventually, they started to get the hang of it.
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♪ And I wouldn't last these shows ♪
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courtesy of our ungrateful son.
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Every ride I like is off limits for me.
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at the Chuck E. Cheese in Torrance.
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You know, I don't see any other V.I.P. guides out here.
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The kids like you.
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Okay? Now, what is the most popular ride here?
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Well, where's the damn exit?
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Ruby: It's terrible! Just a lifelike illusion
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Dre: Here we go! Here we go!
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Thank you, Disney gods!
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- Flamingos. - Whoa, flamingos.
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- Oh, my God. - What is it?
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Describe it to me!
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Let's use our mind cameras.
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Uh...
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Okay, Cody, so --
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Nooooooooooo!
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Mm-hmm.
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Okay, let's do this.
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Uh, let's pretend as if I have absolutely no idea who you are,
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Yeah, playing with our emotions.
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Maybe sneak out above the clouds on that adorable elephant.
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Uh...
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Huh? And you know what's worse?
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but I hate you.
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We keep looking for the exits,
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There's a real exit right -- right there.
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while this... magnificent parade goes by.
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♪ Don't believe me, ask the dishes ♪
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Check this out. [ Clears throat ]
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Hi. [ Higher-pitched ] Hi.
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Are you allowed to eat that?
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Well, I had the worst day ever with your spoiled-ass kids.