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SEASON
EPISODE

Season 14

Aired a year ago - May 22, 2016

Brian falls in love with a tech support worker in India, so he and Stewie travel there to find her. Meanwhile, Joe invites Peter to his bingo night, but when Peter becomes the new center of attention, Lois helps Joe reclaim the group.

Aired a year ago - May 15, 2016

To everyone’s surprise, Chris wins homecoming king. However, Meg finds out that the cool kids plan to prank him during the homecoming ceremony, so they go to the school to investigate. Meanwhile, Cleveland starts hanging out with Jerome, the bartender. So Peter and the guys try to replace him.

Aired a year ago - May 08, 2016

Peter gets lost in the mall overnight after his family abandons him. Meanwhile, Brian pretends to be a millionaire to win over a girl.

Aired a year ago - Apr 17, 2016

To pay for Stewie’s private school, Lois becomes a postal worker. She finds a letter from Peter that was never sent to his old fling, Gretchen, dated a week before their marriage. When Gretchen tries to come between Lois and Peter, Lois has a plan of her own.

Aired a year ago - Mar 13, 2016

Meg begins working at a retirement community and starts stealing from the residents. Then Chris finds out and wants in on the heist. When the residents catch them, they blackmail them and force the thieves to listen to all of their boring stories.

Aired a year ago - Mar 06, 2016

When Stewie refuses to sleep in his own bed because of nightmares, Peter can’t stand it, so he goes to sleep in the attic. Peter turns the attic into a man cave and all of the guys begin hanging out there, which makes Lois incredibly angry. Meanwhile, Brian helps Stewie overcome his fears by building a device to go into his nightmares and defeat his demons. MORE -LESS

Aired a year ago - Feb 21, 2016

Mayor West raises the drinking age to 50. Because of dog years, Brian is the only one old enough to buy alcohol, so Peter makes him buy all of his booze.

Recap of Family Guy Season 14 Episode 14 (S14E14) - 1
You'll never know.
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Ew. Here's $50, go change your underwear.
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So, uh, I guess this means Peter, you're our Joe now,
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you could do for ten bucks.
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and you're gonna drink as much water from it as you can.
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Coming up: female high school teacher
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Peter, is there something you want to tell me?
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I'm here tonight with the deputy mayor.
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I hereby raise the town's legal drinking age to 50.
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Tricia?
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I think we just have to trust our elected officials...
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And I got to say, it was kind of uncool
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Hey, buddy. It's okay, I work here.
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We are gonna get so wasted!
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Peter's lying.
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Have you seen some of these laws
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isn't as easy as Obama's daughters make it look.
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No, no, I had a question for you.
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Peter, I think you're missing the point.
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I can't do it with you watching.
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♪ That funky monkey ♪
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♪ Ad-Rock gets nice with Charlie Chan ♪
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Hey, hey, Brian, Brian.
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That's messed up, man.
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I want you to be Meg's godfather.
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Yeah, I was, I was just hanging out with my main man, Peter.
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PETER: Aw, shoot, I puked in the clean dishes side.
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Come on, baby, show me what you got.
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"To drink"?!
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(grunts)
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I know Lois gets mad about it,
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Uh, some butthorn's shining a flashlight on me.
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Hey, is this the park where Boner died?
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Next!
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(sighs) Well, this sucks.
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Yeah, I haven't been drunk in a day.
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left in this open container I've been driving around with.
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Ugh, this seems like a weird place to even use a condom.
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acting like you're such a victim.
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is what I miss most about having elbows.
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Come on, I know it seems hard, but we can't just give up.
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I was about to say that, because I invented it!
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Okay, Peter, I know how we can get the law changed.
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Oh, a Western princess!
Aired 2 years ago - Feb 14, 2016

Peter overloads his phone with apps. He buys a new phone with more memory, gives his old phone to Chris, and hilarity ensues. Stewie joins a tennis club and invites Brian to be his tennis partner.

Recap of Family Guy Season 14 Episode 13 (S14E13) - 1
Peter, your phone's streaming to the TV.
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There you are, Dad.
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oh, and here's most of a puzzle.
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All the more reason to treat yourself.
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Isn't that for anonymous gay hookups?
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Something my dad held in the bathroom!
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Chris, no one talks to each other anymore.
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All right, what could go wrong?
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Where frail old men come to weigh themselves in the nude.
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Oh, yes, half the bathroom trash is thrown-up scrambled eggs.
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Like that actress from Rizzoli & Isles
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It's the... law enforcement woman.
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...he sent it to doesn't like him back,
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he was technically distributing child pornography.
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Huh.
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Today, we bring you a disturbing case of child pornography.
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Place.
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but the law says that, as a sex offender,
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sentimental military stuff, lava,
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Good evening, I'm Glenn Quagmire, your instructor.
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painted like an ice cream truck, your lights are on.
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And do I really have to be here?
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We don't say "whack."
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You grunt like a Hungarian lesbian.
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Well, she was gone in two days.
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we're putting it on Philippa's husband's account.
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I can't believe we're having an ice cream cake
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You can go back to being a normal boy
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Everybody into my safety basement!
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after eating a seafood tower.
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Not once. Damn it, Brian!
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You're really wearing a path, aren't you?
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but you're just gonna have to accept that from now on,
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That's why "no."
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Now nobody will have any reason to be afraid of me
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besides get to the wind chime store before it closes.
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trying to roll back subsidies on the Affordable Care Act,
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But, look, first place.
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Hey, everybody, try my wife's ambrosia.
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With all the free time, I'm no longer devoting to onanism...
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and I even joined the debate team.
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seems to have allowed Chris to excel in other areas.
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(gasping)
Aired 2 years ago - Jan 17, 2016

Lois and her mom, Babs, have a relaxing spa day, leaving Peter to entertain Lois’ father, Carter. The boys fall for an email scam, and have to go to Africa to get their money back. Meanwhile, Brian pursues Meg’s friend, Patty.

Aired 2 years ago - Jan 10, 2016

When their bank accounts begin to run dry, the Griffins look for ways to make money. Stewie gets cast in a peanut butter commercial and becomes the money maker for the family. Meanwhile, Lois and Peter become crazy show business parents and Brian helps Stewie realize that he does not want to be a child actor.

Aired 2 years ago - Jan 03, 2016

Peter, Cleveland and Joe come across a VHS tape called “Winter/Summer” an Asian soap opera that Quagmire starred in when he was living in Korea. Unable to find the final episode of the series, the guys travel to Korea to find it and Quagmire is reunited with his old lover. Meanwhile, Stewie worries he might become a redhead.

Aired 2 years ago - Dec 13, 2015

When Peter’s couch is stolen from his front lawn, the guys form a neighborhood watch group. While on duty, Peter sees someone trying to climb into Cleveland’s house and he shoots him. Peter is then arrested and charged with a hate crime. Meanwhile, Cleveland is touched when Peter finally admits to the accident, so he takes the fall for the crime and Peter is exonerated. MORE -LESS

Recap of Family Guy Season 14 Episode 9 (S14E09) - 1
I like a soapy bottom. What?
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Ah, got to walk that boner off, huh?
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behind my mind."
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"I'll give you anything if you would only stop hitting me.
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And bring pound cake. "And bring pound cake."
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For real. Come on! Let's fool around,
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It's a beautiful day-- lots of mischief to get into.
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Unless you're leaving, which would be terrific also.
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(chuckling): Brain fart. Window. Sorry.
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Mr. Griffin! You shot me!
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Ah, then this must be "Chubster Dumb-Dumb."
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It was dark. I-I... I don't know why
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I don't need one in my wallet.
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Oh, oh, you're talking to him.
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I'd never want to do anything to hurt you or your family.
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Hey, does anybody know if Cleveland's coming by?
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The victim: a 14-year-old boy named Cleveland Brown Jr.
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held accountable for his actions.
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It's well documented that my dream three-way
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Of course this isn't just gonna go away.
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Hey! I'm trying my best here.
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Okay, kids, are your parents out of the room?
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of the town square, get naked and paint myself brown.
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No! I'm so sick of your crap.
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(Peter sobbing)
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Look, it's time we bury the hatchet.
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Aw, come on. This'll change your mind.
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(all gasp)
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(loud, overlapping shouting)
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What are you talkin' about? You know it was an accident.
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Don't worry, Dad!
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Griffin, you have a visitor.
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How is it that I'm only just now meeting you?
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But don't worry. We're gonna get you out of this.
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Not like when I read my JAG fan fiction
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Boo! Terrible!
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and that hurt even worse than getting shot!
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I don't think it's lost on any of us
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it's no surprise that justice isn't colorblind."
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This is where we take control of the situation.
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I was listening to Neil Sedaka's Hanukkah album.
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as well as this print ad for the Entourage movie.
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Aired 2 years ago - Dec 06, 2015

When Joe is trampled in a local running of the bulls and becomes a quadriplegic, the guys find it too difficult to hang around him. Meanwhile, Brian sleeps with a married woman, and when the husband returns home, he pretends to be the family’s new dog.

Aired 2 years ago - Nov 22, 2015

Quagmire admits that he is in love with Lois. Unfortunately, he proclaims his love while he has accidentally pocket-dialed Peter. Peter is furious and Brian takes it upon himself to fix the situation.

Recap of Family Guy Season 14 Episode 7 (S14E07) - 1
You get it. My family moves around a lot
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What? Why?
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W-Well, what's the best fish here?
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And check this out. The rare triple toothpick flip.
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Peter, that was a wedding present from my aunt.
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All right, we were able to fix your hernia,
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Quick, we need another toothpick!
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That old lady has ruined toothpicks for me.
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Hey, Quagmire. Hey, Ida.
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so maybe just an iceberg wedge, a steak, and some sides.
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and if he's with the kids too long, they start sayin' racisms.
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I just learned that word.
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Boy, that Lois is really something, isn't she?
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I want Lois.
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Not like Cleveland.
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Well, good night.
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Huh. There's one from Quagmire.
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Hello?
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I want Lois. She's perfect.
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No, no, no, that's just Quagmire bein' a horndog.
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and hit him with a shovel, like a white trash YouTube girl.
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of that colonial woman who died falling down our stairs.
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Like one of those songs in an old musical.
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♪ Love in my life... ♪
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Glenn! Ida! You made it!
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Peter, what are you talking about?
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Fop Cop. That could work.
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Oh, my God!
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It's like, I can't even process why he'd feel this way.
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Yeah, get it in there.
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that was so tacky.
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Shame.
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This was serious, but it turned into something fun.
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aren't gonna talk this out, you and I should.
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We live on the same street.
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Oh, sour cream. You wanted me to remind you.
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No, it's too awkward.
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You're right. Quagmire, wait!
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What? What-what am I supposed to do with that information?
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Aw, we don't need him. I got a sex story for you.
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Peter, face it-- without Quagmire, we're boring.
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Oh, if only I had a pair of legs.
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Look, Peter, I'm sorry Quagmire moved away,
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I lost my best friend, my buddies are all fighting,
Aired 2 years ago - Nov 15, 2015

Peter’s sister, Karen, decides to come for Thanksgiving and bullies Peter the same way Meg treats him. While Meg is at first amused, she later feels badly and decides to help Peter train to defeat his sister in a wrestling match. Meanwhile, to avoid overeating on Thanksgiving, Stewie and Brian decide to go on a cleanse, which Stewie takes one step too far. MORE -LESS

Aired 2 years ago - Nov 08, 2015

Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing. Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian. MORE -LESS

Aired 2 years ago - Oct 25, 2015

The guys go to an abandoned asylum seeking inspiration for a new horror movie idea, but end up accidentally killing a man they think is keeping them hostage. Wracked with guilt, they each try to pin the murder on someone else. Meanwhile, Stewie is on a mission to destroy Brian's glasses because he's annoyed by how pretentious Brian's been acting when he wears them MORE -LESS

Aired 2 years ago - Oct 11, 2015

Stewie doesn’t like Brian’s stand-up comedy jokes, so the two of them fight. To get back at Brian and make him jealous, Stewie builds a robot friend. But when the robot outsmarts Stewie and dumps him, Brian and Stewie reunite. Meanwhile, Lois forces Peter to get a new mattress.

Aired 2 years ago - Oct 04, 2015

For Father’s Day, the guys track down Joe’s estranged father. But when Joe explains that his dad is intolerant of people with disabilities, Peter steps in and pretends to be Joe. Meanwhile, Stewie’s doctor tells him that he’ll only grow to be 5’1”, so he hangs out with Tiny Tom Cruise to understand what it’s like to be short.

Aired 2 years ago - Sep 27, 2015

Stewie is diagnosed with ADD and prescribed Adderall, which Brian takes to write a 2000-page proposal to pitch to author George R.R. Martin at a book convention. Meanwhile, Quagmire and Peter compete, Iron Chef-style, to determine which of them gets to keep his new cooking show.